Realizations
It took Taryn five months to realize that her husband would not return. Before that she searched for him tirelessly, constantly hoping that he would simply arrive at Cair Paravel, laughing at her worry and scolding her a little for frightening the children.
It was his birthday in November. No preparations were made, either to celebrate a living king's birth, or to remember a beloved ruler after his death. Connor and Nerissa looked somber, but Joshua and Eilis simply carried on playing as they usually did.
When their small son asked, "Why are you sad, mummy?" it took all of Taryn's self control not to simply fall to her knees and weep. Handing the child a toy, she rushed out of the room blindly, narrowly avoiding her youngest reaching to be held.
The whole castle heard her wild sobs. By order of the other monarchs, the entire wing was left empty for the night, but still they heard the Faithful Queen's weeping. The sound echoed through Cair Paravel, searching for the one who could change it to laughter, never finding him.
The next night the bedrooms in the west wing were again inhabited. That night only her sister-in-law heard, gently stroking the bereft woman's hair. The night after that only her pillow knew of Taryn's display of sorrow.
She went back to work, no longer searching for him. It was just as well, for she now had to fulfill her husband's roles in both the kingdom and to their four children. She had promised him to look after Narnia if he were unable.
Taryn was faithful to her Edmund, and to Narnia, and to Aslan. She kept her promises.
Andrew had been the first to arrive at the place his wife had left Narnia from. For four months he searched for her without fail, looking constantly, driving himself to exhaustion.
It was because of this that he was caught unaware by a group of bandits. The entire group with him was killed, and it was two days before his sister-in-law Taryn's search party found him, slumped by a tree, a cruel wound getting blood on the one piece of evidence he had found in his quest, surrounded by dead enemies.
It took a month before the Noble King was able to leave his bed. He ignored the whispers around him, of the way he had killed the bandits so violently. Andrew didn't care: his wife, his beloved, had disappeared.
Andrew pushed himself harder than anyone. Early training hours, more time drilling the army than ever. And in it all, he carried himself with dignity and decency, never asking anyone to do anything he would not do himself.
No one ever heard him mourn. He had spent his grief on the bandits that had dared to take his Susan's horn. He was never without it.
Ethan's grief never had quite as obvious an outlet as Andrew or Taryn. He carried on quietly, occasionally leaving a gathering early to mourn more privately.
Of the four remaining monarchs, he was the one with the least hope. When Andrew called out the army for a search, when Taryn raced for the door at hearing the illusion of a familiar step, the Brave King remained at the Cair, knowing in his heart his darling was gone.
His life did not change much, save that he moved his sleeping quarters to a room outside his daughters' chamber. It was only a small bedroom, meant for a guard who would not spend much time there, but Ethan did not care. He would not willingly let his daughters out of his sight.
Ethan showed his sorrow in two ways. He would sit in his wife's chambers, and when this was done no one dared to disturb him. The other was when he crept at night to the treasure chamber and gaze at the statue of her that guarded her most valuable possessions.
Even these actions faded quickly, but not his sorrow. His quiet mourning found an outlet in one thing. And so it was that of the four monarchs, only Lucy had a tomb.
Meriol did not grieve. At first, the court believed that she simply mourned privately, that there were no visible signs. But as time wore on, it became increasingly apparent that the Strong Queen did not mourn.
She became the High Queen, the one who kept Narnia from falling to pieces, the one who kept the others in check. She quietly arranged balls and banquets, wrote laws, kept things around the Cair from neglect. She watched after their son, the one she had nearly died giving birth to.
The whispers were soft at first. That perhaps she did not love her husband. As time wore on the whispers grew in volume. Now people remembered how there had been so few displays of affection on her part, how quickly she had taken the throne after the Disappearance. Eventually even the other monarchs began to suspect her of treason, of having done something.
The affair came to a head three months after the Disappearance. A prominent member of the court accused the queen of treachery. The event was never forgotten.
The elderly duke presented his evidence with anger. The queen had months to defend herself, and in his eyes and the eyes of many others her silence was an admission of guilt.
Meriol looked at him, with such a curious look in her eyes that no one could quite place the emotions behind it. She rose slowly and walked to where the duke stood, his written accusation held delicately in her hand.
She carefully took his right hand and placed it on her stomach, still with the odd look on her face.
At first the man was bewildered, but gradually he realized what she was telling him, telling the entire court. He swallowed, and looked at her with tears in his eyes. "Oh, my daughter, how I have wronged you." And for the first time, the duke of Marrodan bowed to his daughter in respect, seeing a queen for the first time.
The court was in turmoil for a few days, reeling from the queen's secret. Three months later, all understood why she did not grieve.
Meriol only held her daughter once before she died. She kissed the child weakly, handed the babe to her only remaining aunt, smiling beautifully. And she went to be with her beloved Peter, as she had known from the beginning.
Random. Just something I felt like writing after watching the movie again recently.