Stains
Disclaimer: I do not own Galactik Football and I make no money from this fanfiction.
Aarch put his head in his hands, something he done often of late. They'd won the match, they'd proved that they weren't beaten yet, that the Snow Kids weren't the two-time winners of the Galactik Football Cup for nothing.
He should have felt happy.
He didn't. Part of him wished that they had lost and he could just go home again. Wherever that was. He'd moved around enough that it had seemed that football was his only home but it didn't feel right anymore. There was nothing on Akillian, just ice, it wasn't his Akillian, not the Akillian he had grown up on. The Akillian that had been his would never come back thanks to the meta-flux. Sonny and Clamp hadn't meant to cause an ice-age and they'd redeemed themselves by preventing it from happening again. It still wouldn't bring Akillian back.
He reminded himself that with the Snow Kids, he'd won two GFCs- more than he could have ever hoped for when he was young. But that was just the problem. They'd won twice and maybe they'd win again. Then what? They'd play another tournament and try to win that? No matter how many times he won there'd always be another competition. It was endless and therefore pointless. Winning just didn't hold the same allure that it once had.
He'd always been haunted by the past, those memories so distant that they had felt like dreams had driven him back to Akillian, back to form a team. It was his redemption. Hadn't he brought hope back to the Akillian people again? His team had defeated the Shadows in the first cup they'd played in; he'd left the Shadows behind. He was forgiven, forgiven by everyone he had abandoned.
And he'd felt better. For a while at least. Now he just felt worse.
He could feel those memories stronger than ever now, he could still taste the bitter snow that fell that day on Akillian, he could still hear the rush of Smog in his ears more clearly than he heard anything else. He'd still done those things; there was no way of changing that. He felt old and therefore should have felt distanced but instead he felt closer to the past that he had ever done.
He could feel the pain of the past more sharply than he had done when he had lived it.
Artegor walked in startling Aarch enough to lift his head out of his hands to stare at Artegor dully. White light from the hallway streamed, harsh, in comparison to the dimness of the room.
Artegor was strong now, healthy. Aarch had set him free, from the Smog, from the dangerous grasps of his obsession with him- helped him back over the line between love and hate. Aarch had been his saving grace.
It should have been Artegor who felt lost. It was still strange to see Artegor in such a frivolous outfit. It was still strange to see Artegor look happy.
"Aarch, you need to stop this."
"I have stopped," Aarch murmured, he did feel completely immobile, stationary. He had always been going somewhere, always reaching for something just out of reach. He wasn't sure what he wanted now.
"You've lost faith," Artegor persisted; he'd never been able to let Aarch go, it was just that he was using that trait for the better now.
Aarch didn't reply. He couldn't deny it because he knew it to be true. He'd never really doubted before, no matter what he'd done in his life, he'd never doubted. He was uncertain of everything now, feeling he had to tread carefully or everything would just crumble around him. His success now just made him nervous because of how fragile it all was. It had only taken one moment for Akillian to be plunged into an ice-age, it had only taken him one moment to decide to join the Shadows and it had only taken one moment to decide to leave again.
"I have faith, still. I've always believed in you."
"And look where it got you."
"It got me to this point. I can't regret anything."
"I can."
There was defeat in Aarch's eyes that made Artegor just despair. He'd been brought there to help Aarch and he was trying. But he didn't know how he to fix him. He didn't even really know what was wrong. He'd never seen Aarch like this, he'd always been the one with the burdens; Aarch had always so strong. He was broken now.
He wondered what he was supposed to do. It seemed that nothing he did or said was working to pull Aarch out of this downward spiral. The things that used to predictably make him smile meant nothing to Aarch now.
"Why don't we go for a walk?" Artegor suggested, thinking some exercise might be good for his mood.
Aarch shook his head. Artegor wasn't sure he was patient enough for this, he wasn't qualified to be anyone's saviour- his attempts to reach out to Sinedd had utterly failed, he'd just made it worse.
He opened his mouth to speak but was stopped by Aarch's lips meeting his. Aarch just couldn't bear to hear another word and this was the one way he had of making him shut up, at least for a while.
Artegor kissed back and hoped, as ever, that he was giving him comfort. In his heart he knew this was all just a distraction for the both of them.
He knew it couldn't continue this way.
That's it's for this fic. By the way, I've started a Galactik Football Roleplay if anyone is interested in joining (it's in the GF forum section or just check my profile under 'my forums'). But anyways, review please!