Five Ways on How to Embarrass Your Lover
Warning: Contents contain dialogue ONLY with shounen-ai, (OutOfCharacterness) and cursing. If you don't like BL action... why are you reading this? 0_o
Summary: Five guaranteed ways on how to embarrass your lover...and just about anyone.
Disclaimer: If DN Angel belonged to me, it would be in Asuka Magazine right now...
At the Mall.
"Hey, Daisuke!"
"What, Dark… Sstop yelling. People keep staring."
"Duh. I am the amazing, one and only Dark Mousy."
"Uhuh. Yeah. Keep telling yourself that."
"I've got this amazing personality-"
"Lie."
"-innocent vibe-"
"Also a lie."
"-glistening white teeth-"
"In a mouth that never shuts up."
"-sexy body-"
"Hm. Have to agree with that one."
"-and soft, stylish hair everyone would die for!"
"Did I mention I switched your shampoo to flea control medication?"
"WHAT?"
--
At Satoshi's House.
"Krad!"
"…What now, Dark?"
"W-what's with that tone?"
"You annoy the hell out of everyone by coming up to them, bragging about your so called 'sexy looks' and sweet, adorable boyfriend."
"Don't forget the sex. Always remember the hot, amazing sex."
"…"
"DAAARK!!!"
--
At His Mother's House.
"Dark, you're really quite dashing, aren't you?"
"Oh, Miss Niwa. You flatter me too much. Keep doing it."
"Please, call me Emiko."
"Er… okay, Emiko."
"Heheehee."
"…"
"And those fashionable clothes. Where do you get them?"
"Strip club."
"…"
"Hey, Miss Ni- I mean Emiko? Wake up, that's not funny."
"ASDFGHJFTYUIY"
"I-is that foam coming out of your mouth…o-oh shit…"
"DAISUKE!!!"
--
At Work
"Yo Daisuke! Those are some pretty nice white patterns on that painting. Damn, you've really gotten good."
"Aha. Thanks, Takeshi! Art school's been really great."
"No shit. So, what did you use to make those creamy white swirls? It's really cool how they seemed to almost explode in random pa-"
BANG
"Wh-what was that?"
"Hell if I'd know. It's your house, isn't it?"
"FUC-"
"DAISUKE!!! I'm super, duper horny!! Let's go do some hardcore fucking right now!"
"…"
"Sorry, Takeshi. I'll go get his medication right now."
"OH HEY! Is that a recorder? AWESOME. It's like the time I was being interviewed for the cover of Sex Daily!"
"…Daily?"
"Yep. I got put on fifteen times!"
"That's pretty…well actually, that's pretty damn scary. Poor Daisuke."
"Hey, whatcha lookin' at? Oh. You're looking at that one?"
"Excuse me, but that one?"
"Hey, I'm back with the medicati- NO! DARK, GET OUT! OUT, DAMNIT!"
"But Little Dark wants to go home! *cough* Inside Daisuke's pants! *cough*"
"Why don't YOU go home!"
"NO!"
"Sorry Takeshi, you should probably leave right now."
"But Daisuke, you still haven't explained the white stuff…"
"Oh that? That's from when I flipped Daisuke over in the art room, completely naked while he was moaning from my hot, heavy kisses. Then I prodded him gently before shoving the entire thing into his tight, vi-"
"SORRY YOU HAVE TO LEAVE SO SOON, BYE!"
--
At Home.
"Daisuke?"
"…"
"Will you please open the bathroom door?"
"No."
"I'm sorry."
"…"
"I really am! I didn't mean to do all those things."
"Yes you did."
"Okay… FINE. I did mean to do those, but it's not my fault! I just get bored really easily."
"…okay."
"Woah! Usually I have to beg, plead, sit with my hands under my knees, give you the best s-"
"I'll forgive you only if you leave me alone for one hour."
"Okay, bu-"
"No buts."
"You should kn-"
"Just go. I don't want to hear you voice for at least sixty minutes while I carefully brush my teeth into a shining whi-"
"I USED YOUR TOOTHBRUSH TO CLEAN THE TOILET!"
"..."
"Uh, Daisuke?"
"……"
"DAISUKE???"
--
-Afterword-
Dark was banned from the mall.
And Satoshi's house, Krad's house, the Niwa residence, Daisuke's work place, and basically everywhere except for his own apartment. And of course, Daisuke's bedroom.
A/N: I'm not going to beg for apologies. T.T I only hope you take pity on my fanfictions. Couldn't update, because my hard drive crashed, computer's being fixed, rewriting files, and will upload soon. Many thanks to FlyingTackle who beta'd this.