Title: Lucius Christmas Carol
Authors: eMu & Chikin
Summary: The events of a Christmas carol, drawing more from the Muppet Christmas carol than the dickens book, with HP characters replacing them, all trying to save Lucius' soul. Takes place after the fifth book.
Disclaimers: JK, Dickens, Brian Henson & Duckie.
Rating: PG
Author's Notes: We're starting this one in August. That's pretty sad. L We watch Christmas Movies during heat waves.
"The Marleys were dead, to begin with."
"What? Sirius what the hell are you talking about?" James Potter asked wearily. Sirius blinked at him, as though coming out of a trance.
"Huh? What? What was I saying?" Sirius asked stupidly.
"You said…never mind. Introduce us to the kiddies." James suggested. Well, more ordered than suggested.
"Okay. Hey all, I'm the loveable Sirius Black and this is James Potter, the not as loveable as Sirius…person. Man. Guy."
"That's enough." James grumbled.
"Not as cute either." Sirius pointed out.
"Well I don't look as old as you! Ha!" James shouted. "Mr. Johnny die-lately!"
"Ahem. I'm introducing us here. Anyway, we come from the spirit world, wooooo, to bring you a bit of Christmas fun. We're gonna mess around with Looshie's brain meats."
"Yay." James said lamely.
"Oh shut up if you can't be happy. It's Christmas!" Sirius whined.
"It's not really Christmas. It's august, didn't you read the author's notes?" James pointed upwards. Sirius tilted his head up.
"Ah! Where'd the sky go? It's like that winny the pooh book! Oh yeah, august. Hmm. Oh well, it'll be posted by Christmas so that means it's Christmas. And I am right. And you are yet again wrong. Jeremy."
"You'd think after a few decades you'd stop calling me that but no!" James complained.
"Eh. Snivvy never died so farbeit for us to let Jeremy die. No pun intended. Sorry, that was tasteless. Okay, anyway. We will be the happy and cute though I am cuter narrators for this tale. Wait, should we call us late narrators?"
"late?"
"Well we're dead." Sirius pointed out.
James slapped a hand to his forehead. "Fine. We're the late and cute narrators, alright?"
"But I'm cuter!" Sirius exclaimed.
"You think you wouldn't need so much assurance. Anywho, let's get started, shall we? We've rambled on for over a page of introduction."
"Almost two at this font size." Sirius pointed out. "Okay, let's get our arses over to…where're we going?"
"Dude, story tellers are omniscient. You're supposed to know!" James yelled.
"Well do you know?!" Sirius demanded.
James remained silent, finger still pointing at Sirius. He coughed. "No. Not really. Um…we're following Lucius. So maybe we should go to his house?"
"Yeah alright. Where does he live?"
"Malfoy manor, I assume."
"Oh yeah. Good thinking. Are there signs?" Sirius asked.
"Okay, while we get lost looking for the manor, you guys enjoy this little song." James said, waving the audience away with his hands. Sirius waved at them as the camera shifts its focus to Diagon alley, decorated merrily for Christmas.
Authors: eMu & Chikin
Summary: The events of a Christmas carol, drawing more from the Muppet Christmas carol than the dickens book, with HP characters replacing them, all trying to save Lucius' soul. Takes place after the fifth book.
Disclaimers: JK, Dickens, Brian Henson & Duckie.
Rating: PG
Author's Notes: We're starting this one in August. That's pretty sad. L We watch Christmas Movies during heat waves.
"The Marleys were dead, to begin with."
"What? Sirius what the hell are you talking about?" James Potter asked wearily. Sirius blinked at him, as though coming out of a trance.
"Huh? What? What was I saying?" Sirius asked stupidly.
"You said…never mind. Introduce us to the kiddies." James suggested. Well, more ordered than suggested.
"Okay. Hey all, I'm the loveable Sirius Black and this is James Potter, the not as loveable as Sirius…person. Man. Guy."
"That's enough." James grumbled.
"Not as cute either." Sirius pointed out.
"Well I don't look as old as you! Ha!" James shouted. "Mr. Johnny die-lately!"
"Ahem. I'm introducing us here. Anyway, we come from the spirit world, wooooo, to bring you a bit of Christmas fun. We're gonna mess around with Looshie's brain meats."
"Yay." James said lamely.
"Oh shut up if you can't be happy. It's Christmas!" Sirius whined.
"It's not really Christmas. It's august, didn't you read the author's notes?" James pointed upwards. Sirius tilted his head up.
"Ah! Where'd the sky go? It's like that winny the pooh book! Oh yeah, august. Hmm. Oh well, it'll be posted by Christmas so that means it's Christmas. And I am right. And you are yet again wrong. Jeremy."
"You'd think after a few decades you'd stop calling me that but no!" James complained.
"Eh. Snivvy never died so farbeit for us to let Jeremy die. No pun intended. Sorry, that was tasteless. Okay, anyway. We will be the happy and cute though I am cuter narrators for this tale. Wait, should we call us late narrators?"
"late?"
"Well we're dead." Sirius pointed out.
James slapped a hand to his forehead. "Fine. We're the late and cute narrators, alright?"
"But I'm cuter!" Sirius exclaimed.
"You think you wouldn't need so much assurance. Anywho, let's get started, shall we? We've rambled on for over a page of introduction."
"Almost two at this font size." Sirius pointed out. "Okay, let's get our arses over to…where're we going?"
"Dude, story tellers are omniscient. You're supposed to know!" James yelled.
"Well do you know?!" Sirius demanded.
James remained silent, finger still pointing at Sirius. He coughed. "No. Not really. Um…we're following Lucius. So maybe we should go to his house?"
"Yeah alright. Where does he live?"
"Malfoy manor, I assume."
"Oh yeah. Good thinking. Are there signs?" Sirius asked.
"Okay, while we get lost looking for the manor, you guys enjoy this little song." James said, waving the audience away with his hands. Sirius waved at them as the camera shifts its focus to Diagon alley, decorated merrily for Christmas.