A/N: Crack. Once again~
Disclaimer: Russia is more likely to become one with everyone than for me to own Hetalia and FMA, which I'll never own.
Kiku was, once again, on his break. He was accompanied by his two good friends, Elizabeta and Gilbert. Elizabeta shot a glare at the Prussian beside her possibly planning his murder right at this moment. The weapon of choice? The frying pan of course, which was practically Eliza's best friend and popped literally out of no where at anytime she wanted.
The trio sat peacefully, for now, in a local café, enjoying their break from their crime fighting jobs as the police in their indigenous town. Breaking the silence, Gilbert sighed loudly as he placed his cup of coffee back on the table.
"Gott, you'd think they raise our pay after that chase, our boss is so unawesome." He complained, wiping his hand through his silver locks. Eliza had to admit, she wanted a high pay as well.
"I know how you feel, I literally cracked that guy's head open with my frying pan and turned him in the other day! The boss is also so sexist, thinking girls should get a lower pay…" She nitpicked, taking a large sip of her coffee as well. Gilbert couldn't help but chuckle.
"Well men are stronger~"
"Oh? And what makes you say that?"
"Girls are just pansies, they shop, they gossip, and they don't like sports. It's a common stereotype." Gilbert explained, as he smiled widely at the Hungarian. She furrowed her eyebrows at him and shot a cold glare.
"Well-"
"As for you, Lizzie, you're just a guy with no dick." Right after that, Gilbert burst into a barking laugh. Elizabeta fumed in rage and brought out her friend, the frying pan.
"Say hello to my little friend~"
"Lizzie, put that thing away- Kiku! Help!" Gilbert wailed as he tried to push the Hungarian away with her deadly weapon of a frying pan. Kiku raised his russet eyes from his book and saw the two fighting. Now, he heard wrong. He thought the Prussian said, 'Will you put that thing away, Kiku?' So the Japanese man just stared at him like he was crazy and shook his head.
"That's a stupid question, Gilbert-san." Gilbert averted his crimson eyes to him, baffled.
"What?"
"I say it because it's true."
"I don't know what the hell you're talking about Kiku…OW! LIZZIE STOP!" However Kiku ignored the two and rose from his chair, while Elizabeta was beating the Prussian officer with her frying pan. The book Kiku was reading fell to the ground sloppily as he stood in defiance with a wide grin painted on his face.
"THAT DAY…ALL FEMALE OFFICERS WILL BE REQUIRED TO WEAR…" Kiku made a dramatic pause, and the remaining people in the café stared in amusement at the man. Hungary stopped her attempted 'murder' and gazed at him, then averted her eyes to the open book on the ground. Gilbert stayed down on the floor and had the pure look of 'Wtf?' on his pale skin.
Kiku took a deep breath and formed a theatrical look on his face, "TINY MINISKIRTS!" That's when Kiku placed one foot on top of the coffee table and had a noble, over-the-top pose. Elizabeta sighed in exasperation as she picked up the book and read its contents. Gilbert, on the other hand, hugged to the Japanese man's leg and nuzzled him.
"DUDE THAT IS MOST AWESOMENESS IDEA EVER!" Then he praised the man, almost practically bowing down to him saying that they should seriously tell the boss this 'god-worthy' idea. The Hungarian sighed and 'tsked' as she realised where Kiku got the reference from.
"And this is what happens when Kiku reads too much FMA…"
A/N: Yup, I had to do that. I think of Kiku about the 'miniskirt' idea/ hehe~
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