Sequel to, I swear Ipod shuffle reads your mind!
Naomi went to close her curtains when she spotted a figure walking away in the distance. She couldn't see whom it was but she opened her window and leant out to try and see if it was who she thought it was. Naomi closed her eyes and felt the tears slide down her face; it was who she thought it was it was Emily Fitch. Emily was the one person Naomi had let into her heart but still the walls built up around her heart wouldn't let her let Emily in completely. Last week Emily asked her to the college ball and she said no even though she wanted so desperately to say yes. Naomi was scared, scared of loving the red head but scared she wasn't good enough for her and that all she would end up doing is hurting her. Emily told her she was fed up of it all and left, leaving Naomi wondering is she had made the biggest mistake of her life.
Watching the red head walk away made Naomi hate herself, realising how she had truly hurt Emily, she closed the window and lay down on her bed. Her mum knocked on the door "Not now mum" she called out trying to cover up the fact she was crying. "Ok Angel sleep well, you left your ipod in the bathroom I'll just leave it by the door." "Thanks mum" "I'll be in my room if you need me sweetie" "Thank you" Naomi knew her mum had an idea about her and Emily and she liked Emily and Naomi didn't think she would have a problem if they were together. However it was Naomi's own heart that didn't know if it wanted Emily or not. She got up and got her ipod from by the door and placed it in her dock and pressed shuffle.
"Need Somebody!!! When somebody reaches for your heart open and let them through because everybody needs someone around, things can tumble down on you. You'll discover when you look around you don't have to be alone, just one lover is all you need to know, when your feeling all alone." (You might need somebody – Shola Ama)
Naomi lay down and listened to the lyrics, she knew this would happen her ipod always has a way of making her acknowledge what was happening in her life. Music was an escapism for Naomi but also it held many answers to many questions she wanted answering. This song was defiantly making her think of Emily. Emily had been reaching out for Naomi's heart ever since middle School but Naomi had never really let Emily through because she was afraid. Naomi was used to being alone, she found it hard to trust people after her Dad left her when she was little, and so it was easier just to be by her self. The song made her realise though she doesn't have to be alone and her heart does indeed need somebody. She looked at the pillow beside her remembering Emily sleeping beside her, Naomi could still smell Emily even after washing the sheets it was a smell that lingered and Naomi didn't want to forget.
"I've never felt nothing in the world like this before, now I'm wishing you and wishing you would come back through my door. Why did u have to go? You could of let me know so now I'm all alone. Girl you could of stayed but you wouldn't give me a chance, with you not around is a little bit more than I can stand and all the tears they keep running down my face." (Baby I will wait for you - Elliot Yamin)
As on cue the ipod switched the song and made Naomi remember the night Emily walked away and just like the lyrics Naomi was wishing she would come back through the door. The song hit home more then she thought it would Emily had given her chances more then she would of ever given anyone. Naomi didn't understand why she hadn't walked away sooner but with Emily not around it's been harder then she thought it would be. Naomi was starting to think she had made a mistake telling Emily she wasn't like her and she didn't want to go the college ball. Because right now her bed felt emptier then it had ever felt before. She threw on her coat and her pumps, grabbed the ipod and headed out the front door.
"Wandering the streets, in a world underneath it all, Nothing seems to be, nothing tastes as sweet As what I can't have Like you and the way that you're twisting your hair round your finger Tonight I'm not afraid to tell you What I feel about you." (For You i Will (Confidence) Teddy Geiger)
Naomi walked the streets in the moonlight listening to her music linking everything to the situation with Emily. Emily was the only person that had truly made Naomi smile and the first person she let close to her heart since her Dad left. The song right now was making her actually jog down the road, she wanted to tell Emily how she felt about her she wanted Emily to be the one to break down the wall around her heart.
"I remember the days we spent together were not enough and it used to feel like dreamin' except we always woke up. Never thought not having you here now would hurt so much But tonight I've fallen and I can't get up, I need your loving hands to come and pick me up And every night I miss you." (Tonight - Fm Static)
Naomi had ended up near the lake, which was half way to Emily's but Naomi needed a minute to sit and remember the nights they shared together. She lay down and looked at the stars above remembering the good times where Emily had made her laugh, smile, feel loved and even the feeling of being wanted – which she hadn't felt in a long time. Naomi wished Emily were lying next to her enjoying the stars and the beauty of the lake in the moonlight. The ipod skipped on to another song that made the tears fall from Naomi's eyes once more.
"I'd never thought I'd miss you half as much as I do, and I never thought I'd feel this way the way I feel about you. As soon as I wake up every night every day I know that its you and me to take my blues away, it must be love love love." (It must be love – Madness)
The song was a happy song with a happy beat but it made Naomi's heart hurt. It was a feeling that the song was trying to get her heart to realise that Emily was the one who makes her happy and that it was really love. When Emily first left, Naomi kept telling herself she didn't care, she didn't love her, she wasn't gay but over the days Naomi realised this wasn't true. She did care that Emily left, she did love her, she is gay and now she's hoping she can fix it and get Emily to take her back once more.
"I woke up today, woke up wide awake in an empty bed staring at an empty room. I have myself to blame for the state I'm in today and now dying doesn't seem so cruel. I don't know what to say and I don't know anyway anymore. I hate myself for losing you, I'm seeing it all so clear." (I hate myself for losing you – Kelly Clarkson).
Naomi stood up and carried on walking to Emily's, listening to Kelly Clarskon reminding herself this was all her fault and she hated her self for losing Emily the lyrics were dead on how she was feeling right now. The song was one of the oldies on her ipod but defiantly fitted the situation. She wasn't far from Emily's now, she took out her phone and looked at the time. However even looking at her phone reminded her of Emily because her home picture was of her and Emily on the bouncy castle at Pandora's party. The picture made Naomi smile every time she looked at it, Emily was hilarious drunk and high on MDMA but that was the night of their first kiss since middle school and if Naomi was honest with herself that was the night her heart realised Emily was the one. It was late but she was hoping Emily was still up she really wanted to tell her she loved her.
"Seven days has gone so fast, I really thought the pain would past, its been nearly and hour since I thought of you. But your not answering the phone I'd settle for a busy tone, at least by that i'd know that you're ok. A girl like you ain't meant to go away. Now your gone, there's nothing else I want" (Water and a flame – Daniel Merriweather and Adele)
The songs were getting better and better at explaining how Naomi was feeling, it had been exactly 7 days since they last spoke and Naomi had tried to call Emily but she wouldn't answer the phone. What's that saying 'you don't realise what you have until its gone' I think that's it but the lyrics mention it too. Naomi doesn't want anyone else apart from Emily and only realised this after Emily was gone. But she wasn't going to let Emily get away she was going to tell her how she felt and take her to the college ball. Naomi was at the end of Emily's road, when the song changed and it was a perfect song to end her moonlit walk.
"Staring out into the night, trying to hide the pain. Going to the place where love feeling good don't ever cost a thing and the pain u feel is a different kind of pain, I'm going home to the place where I belong where your love has always been enough for me. I'm not running from I think you got me all wrong, I don't regret this life you chose for me, where these places and these faces are getting old – I'm going home." (Home – Chris Daughtry)
Because Naomi was going home to the place she belonged, because she belonged with Emily Fitch, Emily was her home now. Naomi sat on the curb opposite the Fitch's house and listened to the end of the song, whilst sending a text to Emily hoping she was still awake.
'Emz I'm outside I can't do this anymore, I can't be without you please give me one last chance. Naomi xoxo'
Naomi watched a light turn on in the twins bedroom, she turned her ipod off and waited until a red head appeared at the window and then quickly disappeared. Naomi's phone beeped, she opened up at the message
'I'll be down in two secs, this better not be a joke! Emz x'
Naomi smiled at least she was coming outside, which is more then she expected. She waited her heartbeat was racing she was nervous but she knew it was what she wanted. Naomi heard the front door open and watched the red head pull the door shut and walk across the road and sit down beside her. She looked so beautiful in moonlight, Naomi looked into Emily's eyes and smiled.
"So?" Emily said folding her arms and keeping her eyes glued to Naomi's.
"Um I was an idiot"
"You can say that again"
"I know I was a real big idiot I should never of said what I said. I was just scared and I know now that's not an excuse to make out I don't love you and I…"
"You love me? You've never said that before." Emily smiled, Naomi took Emily's hand into her own and looked her straight in the eyes.
"Yes Emily, I love you." Naomi watched a tear fall from Emily's eye, she wiped it away with her finger and leaned in and gently kissed Emily. The kiss was soft but intensified, Naomi could feel the walls around her heart crumbling down and letting Emily in. "I love you to" Emily said, which made Naomi's heart realise it had made the right choice to finally bring the walls down.
"Come to the college ball with tomorrow night, like we're together." Emily couldn't believe her ears Naomi Campbell the girl she had loved for so long was asking her to the college love ball. Emily hugged Naomi and whispered in her ear "I'd love too."
"Do you wanna come back to mine?" Naomi asked Emily,
"Sure, let me just go get my bag." Naomi watched Emily walk back in to her house, thinking how lucky she was to have Emily in her life and how she wasn't going to let her go this time. Emily was back by Naomi's side in no time and they walked hand in hand back to Naomi's in the moonlight, together, like they always should have been.