Today is my first day of real hunting since I got back to District 12.
The other times I went since I came back were just to ease myself into hunting again. I'd only come home with a few squirrels or something and Greasy Sae would cook them for me. But today is going to be the day where I actually come home with a decent load. District 12 isn't full of completely starving people like it used to be, but people are still pretty hungry. Paylor promises that this problem will be solved soon, but I might as well just take matters into my own hands for the time being.
When I enter the woods, I drop my game bag on the ground next to a rock, not bothering to be quiet. I see a squirrel dart in between the branches of the tree in front of me and shoot an arrow through it without any second thought. It falls to the ground at my feet, the arrow right in its eye.
After an hour or two of unexciting shooting, my game bag is loaded with seven squirrels, but nothing else. Maybe all of the other animals either fled District 12 when it started to burn. Or they died. Either one. It's not enough to feed anyone, really, so I make a promise with myself that I'll do better next time.
When I get home, I drop my game bag on the counter and then head towards the couch. Buttercup is sleeping on it, but I push him off. He lands on the floor, looks up at me, and hisses. Nothing new there. I push him away with my foot and he hisses again, but walks away. Somehow, I manage to fall asleep, but the nightmares wake me up after a little while. All I see when I close my eyes is a mixture of the Games, children dying, and Prim. Sweet, innocent Prim.
But that kind of thinking about Prim only makes me upset, so I try to think about something else. Luckily, Greasy Sae walks into my kitchen and nods at my full game bag.
"You catch all that?" she asks, and I nod.
I turn over so I'm staring up at the ceiling. Greasy Sae hums to herself as she prepares to cook for us. But she never eats much. She doesn't rest until she knows I've had enough to eat.
"Where's your granddaughter?" I ask, after a few minutes of silence.
"Playing with a few of her friends," Greasy Sae answers. "Hey, you sure you want these squirrels? I can make you something else if you want."
"It doesn't matter," I say, because it doesn't.
"You hear the rumor about Gale?" she asks. I sit up, looking at her. She's setting the table with two plates for herself and me, looking like it was no big deal.
"What rumor?" I ask. I'm not supposed to care. I know that. But I can't help but be curious.
"Word is that he quit that fancy job in Two. People are saying he's coming back to Twelve, but no one's sure," she says, reaching into the drawer for utensils.
"Hmm" is all I say.
The door opens and Peeta walks in, looking tired. "Hey. Hope you don't mind setting the table for three," he says. He makes his way into the kitchen and sits down in one of the chairs at the table.
"Rough day?" asks Greasy Sae.
"The bakery was really busy today. I've been working nonstop since seven in the morning," Peeta answers. Greasy Sae nods, looking a little bit sympathetic, and places two dishes on the table. One has the cooked squirrels and the other has a large pot of soup.
"You joining us, Katniss?" Greasy Sae asks, sitting down across from Peeta. I nod, even though I'm not hungry, and sit in the seat next to Peeta.
As soon as I sit, there's a knock on the door that makes me jump out of surprise. No one ever knocks on my door. My only visitors consist of Greasy Sae and her granddaughter, Peeta, and Haymitch, but they just walk right inside.
"I'll get it, I guess," I say, since it's my house. Hesitantly, I stand up and walk over to the door, not knowing what to expect. When I open the door, I'm met with the face of Gale. I stare at him, not knowing what to say. What does he want?
"Hey, Catnip," he says, but it doesn't make the two of us smile like it used to. "Can I come in?" he asks, since I don't say anything. I shrug and step back to let him inside.
"We have a visitor," I say in a tight voice.
Of course, Peeta's the one to act polite. "Hey, Gale," he says, like nothing ever happened. He stands up, even shakes Gale's hand. "How are you doing?"
"I'm good, thanks," Gale says, sounding uninterested. I know he doesn't particularly want to have a conversation with Peeta.
"Gale," says Greasy Sae with a nod. He nods back at her.
"What do you want?" I ask, not bothering to sound polite. I don't care about Gale. He left me in Twelve alone, assuming that I'd just crawl into the arms of Peeta. But I didn't. The sight of him brings on the memories that I've been trying to push away.
"Forgiveness," he says bluntly.
"Then look somewhere else, because you won't find it here," I snap. I'm not ready to forgive him yet. Even though it isn't entirely his fault. I want to hold a grudge for at least a few more weeks.
He straightens up. "Katniss," he says.
"Go away," I say with all the malice I can manage.
"Fine," he says. He doesn't present any argument, which is very out of character for him. Instead, he just walks right out the door, closing it a little loudly behind him.
"Katniss..." Peeta says, standing up to comfort me, but I don't want his comfort. I don't want anyone's comfort. The damage has been done. Prim is dead. She's never coming back. But I don't want to forgive Gale.
I walk in the opposite direction of Peeta's arms, toward my bedroom. I slam the door shut behind me and lock it. I don't come out for the rest of the night. Neither Greasy Sae nor Peeta make an attempt to come get me. They know I don't want to talk to them at the moment. All I want is be by myself.