I missed it, that smart-ass smirk. I missed his laugh, his annoying flurting... everything. Four months, four months and still no word from the ship, he could be dead for all I know. He probably is. Everyone tells me not to give up hope, that any day now they will come back and everything will go back to normal. Normal. My life hasn't been normal in a long time. I would never let anyone know but, I still miss my old life. As much as I want to love this Zane, I will never be able to know if I truley love him or if Im just holding onto my past.
I moved in with Carter again about three months ago, we were both pretty lonely and well, we needed the comfort of each other. He kind of plays the part of my older brother. Protective, annoying and well... older.
Eureka, was falling slowly back into its normal routine, well as normal as Eureka can get, Fargo had been replaced quickly by some new guy called Sam Richards and Allison and Grace and Holly and everyone else (Zane) had been replaced quickly, without thought, by the DOD. They won't replace Senator Wen though. No one believes and I know that I don't have any solid proof, or any proof at all but... she had something to do with the ship going missing, she did... I just know it! She has that weird vibe, like the one Eva Thorne did. All she kept saying was "But it will still go off today, right?" and "It is very important that this ship takes of today.". I wasn't there for the ships early departure but once I just back from my 'walk around', everyone was in panic mode and was scared and worried, even the DOD (not because people were missing but because there multi-million dollar ship was missing) were but Senator Wen, she just kept her cool, didn't panic, she didn't even seem that shocked, according to Carter, when the ship launched.
I picked up the picture of Zane that lay by my bed and stared at it. I felt my heart ache and a cold tear flow down my red cheek. Then another and another and another until I was full-on weeping. Me, weeping! I haven't done that since we came back from 1947 and everything was... different.
"Jo, shouldn't you be asleep at this time?" SARAH asked me. Living with SARAH had its privliges but boy, she could be annoying.
"SARAH, what was my rule?"
"Not to disturb you unless the town required your immediate attention or if Mr Donovan returns. Same as the last three months but you aren't asleep so I didn't think it would count." She reluctantly answered.
"Well, it does count, I will be going to sleep now. Do not disturb me unless the town requires my immediate attention or..." I started.
"Mr Donovan returns." She finished.
"Exactly! Good night SARAH." I said before closing my eyes and pulling the covers over me. "Lights." Then darkness took over.
I entered the place I love so much. The place where time travel really is impossible. Where boyfriends don't turn into complete jerks. Where ships don't go missing without a trace. My dream.
"Hi, Zane. I miss you."
"What about the other Zane? You miss him too don't you?" He asked me.
"Of course, I do. He is you, so you cant really get jelous but know that I will always love you, even if I learn to move on."
"I know you will and I will always love you but move on. Please."
"I..."
"Jo..." I heard, quietly.
I looked around adn saw nothing..
"I..."
"JO!" And then I woke up.
"SARAH! Why did you wake me up?"
"You told me to wake you up in Mr Donovan returned."
"Zane's home?" I asked.
"Yes, the ship has returned. As far as I can tell, all aboard are alive but one person is sick."
Tears that I didn't know I was holding back fell over my eyelids as Carter ran into my bedroom.
"Jo? They're back!" Carter shouted running into my bedroom, looking like a child on Christmas morning.
"I know." I smiled back at him. He reciprocated in the same way then walked out my room while I changed- quickly- before we ran to GD together.
"HENRY!" Carter screamed as we ran up behind a rather anxious looking Henry.
"They're really back..." He said, staring at the door to the ship, which stood several meters in front of us, beginning to open.
One by one they walked out, Holly and Fargo-who were holding hands- Grace- who ran to Henry and hugged him, not letting go for several minutes- Allison- who walked over to Carter and her children, tears streaming down her face- then other members of the crew came off, running to their friends and family. I stood next to them, their happiness infecting the air, waiting for Zane to get off so I could tell him I love him. I had missed him but I stood there waiting, waiting until...
"Where's Zane?" I asked, my reply was sympathetic glances thrown my way.
"He was in the jump seat..." Allison started.
"He's pretty banged up..." Fargo continued and I think Holly and Grace started to say things aswell but I don't know, I don't care.
I was running up to the ship, faster with each foot that hit the ground, another set of tears were finding their way over my eyelids and down my, already wet, cheeks.
"Zane?" No reply. "ZANE!" I turned the corner... and saw him.
"ZAAAANE!" I cried as I ran to him. He was sprawled across the jump seat, unconscious, pale, not breathing.
I felt for a pulse, it was weak but it was there. So there was hope. Wasnt there...?
"Jo. Come with us." I felt Carter pull at my shoulders but I wouldn't move.
"Jo, let the perimadics help him." I heard Allison say sympatheticly. I hate when people talk to me like that. I had itmy whole life. 'Oh your Father is in the army', 'I'm sorry about your Mother', 'Your brothers are over seas', all sympathy. Now this, I hate sympathy, people who have sympathy look down on those who they symathise. I don't get looked down on.
I shuffled over a little to let the paramedics through but my eyes never moved from him. Soon enough he was breathing and in the infirmary but... he was dying. No would tell me he was but I knew it. Even by Eureka standards, its hard to survive a FLT jump without the proper equiptment. Allison was lucky... why couldn't Zane be?
I walked over to him and sat down on the chair next to his bed. I took his usual, big, strong hands, which had turned to big, week hands into mine. I stared at his closed eyes longing to see the shimmering blue ones that lay beneath.
"Please wake up..." i whispered. "Please, please don't leave me."
"I'll try not to but I cant promise anything." I heard him say in a weak, croaky voice before I saw him do his smart-ass smirk, the one I missed so much!
"I missed that."
"What?" He asked, confused.
"You, you and your stupid smart-ass smile!" I joked.
He laughed. Man, I missed that too.
"I missed you too Jojo, and as long as its in my control, I will never leave you again and I will love you forever."
I smiled, fully, happily, finally!
"Get some rest Zane. I'll be back soon." I told him before planting a soft kiss on his cheek.
Then I heard it, the sound I had heard on t.v, the sound I had heard so many times before in the infirmary, the one I heard when my mother died. The flat line. I turned to see a lifeless looking Zane lying helplessly on his bed, doctors surrounding him.
Allison ran over to him and started pounding down on his chest. Doctors were screaming for help but it all just turned into white noise as I walked up to him, as my cheeks started to wet. As I felt my heart break in two.
As I got closer to Zane I felt arms wrap around me and hold me back.
"Jo, let them do their job." I heard Carter whisper in my ear as he held me tighter. "He'll be fine." He kept repeating and to which i replied every time with
"What if he's not?"
A few minutes passed and Carter had managed to get me seated opposite Zane in the infirmary but it did mean i had calmed down.
I could still hear doctors and nurses talking but couldn't understand what had been said until... silence. Then
"Time of death, 8:34 am."
That was when my world ended, that was when I realised how much I loved him and well that when I realised how much I missed it, how much I missed it all.
A/N got a bit of writers block on my story just now so I wrote this and I hope you enjoyed it and I am sorry for the rubbish ending but please review!