DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the characters from 'CSI'. They're not my property.
It could get annoying when so many people would be swarming on the streets of Vegas. Which happened to be every night.
Grissom waited patiently in front of the opened doors of the theater. The crowd was large and he didn't feel animalistic enough to shove himself in that mass and be pushed forward. He glanced up at the giant poster just above the doors. "She and I," - That was the name of the play. His neck twisted slightly as if a fly had landed on it, irritating the skin with its tiny legs. His eyes took a glimpse of the watch on his wrist. There was still time.
It didn't pass long before the large river of people began flowing through those open doors and into the large theater. Taking out the ticket from his pocket, Grissom looked at it. Going alone in a theater filled with people was not something he preferred, and had it not been for the kind request he'd gotten, Grissom would've probably never even considered coming here.
He stepped inside when he heard some quiet footsteps of a person rushing toward the gates. He ignored it and puffed at the thought that people couldn't consider to be punctual enough for the theater at least. The footsteps got louder and louder until the person almost sped past him crushing into this older man. "Oh. Excuse me!" a young man with ridiculously combed hair apologized. He didn't wait for Grissom to respond but continued with fast steps down the hall. "It's fine," Grissom murmured and shook his head.
When he finally got to his seat, he was surprised to find himself in the second row. He would have preferred to be seated somewhere in the back, but this would have to do. Sitting down, the numerous whispers, giggles and an occasional yell to a familiar person floated in the air like a flock of insects, not ready to be settled down until ordered silently to do so. He sighed. Grissom hoped the show would begin soon.
"Hey, Griss," a soft voice, isolated almost immediately and easily from the rest of the noise pollution diverted his gaze away from the still empty stage.
"Sara. Didn't know you were coming." Grissom stood up, making room for the young woman to pass through.
She smiled and pulled out her ticket. "I got an invitation as well."
Grissom's left lip stretched slightly to this. He waited for her to pass by but she remained in her spot. "Are you going to pass through?"
"You're in my seat," she said politely.
"I am?"
"Didn't check your ticket I see," she teased.
Taking a discreet look of the packed hall, Grissom shrugged. These two seats were the only unoccupied ones in the theater; he assumed one wrong number wouldn't make a huge difference. "I didn't realize I was having company," he said and slowly moved through the narrow space between the two rows of seats.
"I wasn't informed about that either," she said and sat down next to him.
"Any idea what the play is about?"
"Nope. But if the large number of people is any indication… it must be something quite remarkable."
"Well, let's see, shall we?"
Sara only showed her tamed grin at him before the lights were lowered, signaling the beginning of the show.
The story was nothing fascinating; a simplistic telling about a man and his career, home, love, and life. Fifteen scenes later, Adam - the main character in story - sat silently on the bed; on his left a few feet away stood a tall mirror and on his right a nightstand with a glowing lamp. Nothing else was present on the stage, allowing the audience to picture the gray emptiness of the room that mirrored the insides of the saddened man. And the man seemed old; sad and old.
A young woman with a pink ponytail emerged from the shadows behind the bed. She leaned forward. "It sucks, doesn't it?"
Being startled by the voice, Adam jumped from the bed and quickly turned around. "W-what?"
"Sitting like that, thinking, thinking. So many thoughts in your head that you think they'll suffocate you in the end?"
"Who are you?" he asked. He was frightened by this stranger.
"Oh, come on. You don't recognize me? My voice at least?"
Adam shook his head. "N-no."
"If I had your feelings right now, I would be so hurt by that. Hello! It's me, Amanda! That voice in your head! Remember?"
"H-how?"
"You're thinking so much, beating yourself up, you poor thing, I just had to come and help you out a bit."
"About what?"
"Well… you and Julianne for one thing."
"Damn," Sara said quietly and got up.
"Where are you going?" Grissom asked.
"Ladies room," she said and quietly walked away.
"I'm just going to ask you something." Amanda paused. "When are you going to wake up already?" she yelled and snapped her fingers four time before his face.
"W-what?"
"Oh, what, what, what. Knock off that ridiculously innocent act. I'm in your mind, ok? You think you can lie to me?"
Adam went quiet. "No…"
"Good. You keep thinking about her, aren't you," she guessed.
Adam sighed. "Yes."
"And you're miserable?"
"Isn't that obvious by now?"
"HA! If you only knew, Adam. But if you think this hurts… just wait until it's too late."
"What do you mean?"
"I'm talking about ceasing the moment and not hiding away and just waiting for something as important as her to pass like that. You're handling this whole thing like a bloody coward I have to say."
"Please don't criticize me."
"No? Why not? You sure don't seem to listen when others try to say it you nicely! If I don't, who else is going to wake you up? You sure are terrible at it."
"I'm just being careful."
"Oh, about what? Is it that she's younger than you?" Amanda laughed. "I hardly think that ten years is a major difference, Adam."
"It's not so easy."
"OH, right… she's under you. You're the boss... what will everyone think of you if you got involved with her, right? How horrible. Especially as almost everyone thinks you're incapable of showing real emotions?"
Adam looked up at her. "It's my career we're talking about."
"And a position you're not exactly crazy about," Amanda said those words quickly. "I know, Adam, I really know."
"It's not that."
"Really? Ah… I see. We're coming back to you being a bloody coward again. You've grown so used to not actually feeling love that you think once you do that it's going to break you like a twig?"
"I've seen what it has done to people."
"And you think the same will happen to you."
Adam nodded.
"How do you know?"
"I'm just guessing."
"Ok… so, somehow, let's say it does. She leaves you, you're heartbroken. It hurts so much. But… try comparing that with never having loved a woman at all? Then tell me which is worse."
"I don't know…"
Amanda growled. "Go to the mirror." Adam didn't move. "Don't make me push you over there. Go on!"
Adam obeyed and slowly walked over to it. Amanda stood behind him, her chin on his shoulder. "Have a good look at yourself, Adam. In your fifties… old. An old geezer." Adam shuddered. "Sounds ugly, doesn't it."
"Yes, it does."
"You have to admit, you're not the most handsome man in the world. You might have been when you were younger, but that's in the past. And then there's your… openness. Ok, maybe not. Let's call it continuous enigma. Women will find it attractive… they'll try to break it. But you won't let them. You've always been a tough shell to break, Adam."
"It did me good so far."
"Hm, yeah, sure… means more for Julianne though. Not everyone has the patience to break it… as I'm sure you know. So, why do you think she might want you? Your position?"
"No, I know that at least."
"Good, good. You might think that it's maybe that intelligence about you? Some that find it odd, silly, because they can't understand it? What your hobbies are, what draws your curiosity? And that maybe she can give a shit enough about you to still stick around? To have some hope that you might open up for her?"
"I don't know. I don't know what she sees in me. She's beautiful, intelligent…"
"The only one that has managed to match and mirror yours?" Amanda whispered into his ear.
Adam didn't respond.
"Something she didn't have to try. And it scared you? That maybe someone like her can really learn to know you? Ah, poor Adam."
"She'd be better off with someone else."
"You think so? Would you let her go?"
"I've never had her."
"That's not true. She would've been long gone if that was the case."
"You think," Adam turned around. "She's put up with me just because of some a chance she thinks we might have?"
Amanda nodded.
"That's ridiculous."
"Huh, no wonder you're alone. You really don't understand women. Even those who are… like you?"
"She's not like me."
"Oh, no? Go back, think of the last time you've been so intellectually stimulated by anyone? What, nothing? Sad…"
Adam walked away from the mirror and past the bed. "I can't do this to her. I can't get involved with Julianne."
"You might hurt her if you don't. Okay, you already have but…"
"I'll hurt her more if I do."
Amanda sighed annoyingly. "Do you really want to spend the rest of your life alone?" She rushed towards him. "Huh? Do you? Wake up somewhere, old and alone? With no one else but your… stuff? You really want that?"
"No," he confessed.
"Then give her a chance, Adam… give yourself a chance."
"It's too complicated even for you to understand."
"Oh, there we go again…" Amanda collapsed her arms. "You don't trust her?" She shook her head. "When she went out with Gary you took that as some form of betrayal?"
Adam stood silent.
She snorted. "Wonderful, Adam. Leave it to a girl to unknowingly betray someone. You're a real ass at times, I hope you know that." Amanda stepped up close to Adam, her nose almost touching his. "You'll regret this holding back, Adam," she spoke quietly to him.
"Hey," Sara whispered, barely managing to distance Grissom's attention from the play.
"Hey," he whispered absently back at her.
Seeing how absorbed he appeared by the story, Sara decided not to say a word further and only sat down quietly next to him.
"She'll be gone, you'll be alone… and regretting the things you've never done is much worse than regretting those which you have. She loves you, you know that. For your own good stop this nonsense and go to her. You both deserve that."
Adam closed his eyes with a sad sigh to this. When he opened them once again, Amanda wasn't there anymore. Tired, he sat down on the bed.
Sara leaned closer to him. "What happened?"
Grissom leaned in closer to her ear. "I think Adam has just been enlightened by Amanda about Julianne," he whispered to Sara without taking his eyes away from the stage.
"Oh." Sara leaned back in her seat. "Damn bladder," she whispered and received a brief but amused look from Grissom.