Unlocked
Summary: A/A fic post Season 3 (so major spoilers for pretty much all of it) with a little retrospective A/S. A few weeks have passed since the events of the season 3 final and Annie sorts through her feelings for Auggie and her feelings about Simon.
Annie stirred while Auggie was still deep in sleep, she didn't want to disturb him but she also didn't want him to wake and find her missing, so she quickly slipped from the bed, made coffee and perched on a chair near the bed where she could alternate her gaze from the first rays of sun peeking through the window to the glowing form of her half-dressed co-worker sprawled out on the bed. Annie admired the way the plaid pyjama pants had ridden down in his sleep, clinging just above his hips, revealing the way the gentle curve of his lower back crept into more defined muscle towards his shoulders. She smirked at the way his brown hair became tussled in his sleep, emphasizing his playful boyish charm.
Annie pulled one knee up to her chest and held the coffee cup against in, while the other hand toyed with the key around her neck. The strength of the feelings that stirred within her still surprised her, after having fought for so long to either repress or compartmentalize her feelings for the tech ops genius with the wicked smile and the shining broken eyes. She knew the curve of his jawline better than the shape of her own hand yet for months she had been telling herself they were just friends, good friends, the best of friends, but just friends. He had Parker. She was grieving for Simon, and then it was. Simon. The ghost dancing in the periphery of her happiness, throwing dark shadows on her and Auggie's newly unlocked passion. There had always been little hints that there might be chemistry between them, but the strength of their connection had not been revealed until that first night that Auggie had arrived on her doorstep and forced her to finally face the fact that she was falling for him. Hard.
It had been a blissful and rapid descent, the excitement of those firsts – first kiss, first date, first night together, amplified by the knowledge that knew each other, that while they were still discovering how to be together, they already trusted each other. Their connection was deeper than first dates and first kisses. Annie knew she had loved Simon, enough to really connect with him despite the impossible obstacles in their way. The obstacles between her and Auggie were so small by comparison it seemed ludicrous that it had taken them this long. Joan had barely blinked an eyelid when she'd discovered the two were an item, Annie had sensed relief from the older woman despite a fairly textbook briefing on the dos and don'ts of fraternizing with another agent, after all Joan was the expert. Timing would always be difficult, they both worked long hours, and although those were sometimes spent together they weren't always, sometimes Annie was arriving home coming from a totally different timezone just as Auggie was getting off work and ready to blow off steam, but they were patient and forgiving with each other in a way non-agency partners could never be. They understood, they respected one another, and all the difficulties they'd had opening up and communicating in the post-Simon, post-Parker period had melted away as they relaxed into each other. The awkward invitations and counter invitations soon became confident requests. They already had each other's spare keys.
Which brought Annie back to the key around her neck, a very different key, gained through wholly different and less pleasant circumstances? A key that hung there as a constant reminder of what she had lost. She had noticed Auggie noticing it, he couldn't see it thankfully but he brushed against it occasionally as his hands and lips navigated the contours of her neck and chest bone, and while she had set the necklace aside during love making she still wore it most of the time. She was thankful he couldn't see it at work or at breakfast or over dinner, but she knew it was there and it felt wrong to wear it secretly. That felt like cheating, and it away it was, she wouldn't have wanted him to wear something from Parker, she would have understood but it would have hurt. The problem was the key represented more than Simon, it represented his sister as well, a warm and trusting woman who had opened herself up to Annie though she had no real reason to trust her. It represented a realization that there was more to life than work. That love was worth sacrifice. That she, the transient girl who could disappear into a crowd and had few ties anywhere was capable of that sort of grand commitment.
"Hey Walker, what are you stalking me?" Auggie called as he rolled onto his back, propping himself up on his elbows, a broad grin on his face.
"How could you..?" Annie marveled, grinning.
"I cheated, I've been away for five minutes just listening for hints, it beats playing blind man's bluff trying to find you. What are you doing out of bed anyway?"
"Coffee, and I wasn't hiding," Annie sat down the coffee and padded over to the bed and sat on her side, facing him.
"The coffee was a good hint I must say. You were being pretty quiet over there, no newspaper ruffling so you weren't reading, what's up?" Auggie gave her a concerned look.
"Just thinking, and admiring the view a little," the added the second part with a lighter cheekier lilt to her voice.
"Just a little huh?" Auggie grinned. "We'll have to do something about that," he warned and reached slowly for her face. Annie moved slightly into his hands so that he could draw her towards him easily to kiss her. He loved how easily she did that, she melted into him so the awkwardness of his blindness faded into the background. There were moments he was so engrossed in the feel of her he almost forgot he was blind and couldn't admire the porcelain of her skin because his imagination and his other senses more than made up for it.
Annie returned the embrace heatedly but pulled away gently before he could pull her onto the bed and on top of him. "Auggie," she began gently. "I…" she wasn't sure how to tell him or what to say.
"Annie, you know you can tell me anything," he reassured gently, sensing her uncertainty. "Or not, if you need more time, but I hope you can tell me now. Whatever it is, I'll understand."
"I hope so," Annie began gently. "Auggie you know losing Simon, it was hard for me?"
Auggie grimaced slightly but nodded.
"I think I can relate, I mean I know Parker didn't exactly die but I get it. We've both had to deal with a bit of loss lately. I'm sorry you had to go through that Annie, but I'm not sorry that it happened, I mean I'm not sorry that you're here with me instead. I'm sorry if that makes me sound like a horrible person."
"It doesn't. I just. I'm glad I'm here too. I just, it feels horrible to say that, I loved Simon. At least I think I did, it was different, it was just beginning, but this is more than that. I feel like I'm betraying you by still caring about him and I feel like I'm betraying him by moving on. I just I don't know what the right way to deal with this is." A few quiet tears escaped Annie's eyes and traveled down her cheeks.
Auggie paused carefully before he stroked her cheek and answered carefully, "I think this is the right way to deal with it, by talking about it. Humans are messy, life is messy, you feel what you feel. But from my side, I want you to know right here and right now Parker is gone, yes I cared about her but it doesn't even compare to this and maybe that makes me stupid for wanting to marry her but like you said it was just beginning. I was in love with idea of Parker, but now I'm in love with you and maybe it's fast but we're not starting out from two weeks we've had two years to get to know one another. I've met your family, I've seen you at your best and your worst, and I know you've seem me at mine."
"That's a hell of a speech Mr Anderson. Have you been practicing that?"
"Maybe a little, I thought it might come up," Auggie tried to lighten the tone with a brief smile. "You're allowed to be sad about Simon Annie, just don't be too sad okay? It'll get easier."
"It has. That's the problem."
"I think you need to revisit the definition of problem Walker."
"You know Eyal asked me to go away with him," Annie confessed abruptly.
"You're killing me here Walker, I've got one ex who dumped me and you've got men begging you to run away with them, not that I can blame them," Auggie gave a wiry smile but his gaze was admiring. He knew she was something special. He knew he wasn't the only one that noticed.
"But I chose you. I mean you were the reason I stayed. Is that enough?"
"For what?"
"To forgive me for almost leaving you? With Simon I mean."
"Only if you can forgive me for not giving you enough reason to stay. I should have fought for you then Annie, if I thought I'd stood a chance I would have. I knew asking you as a friend wasn't enough and you weren't ready to see me as anything else."
"I hurt you didn't I?"
"Hey I'm pretty tough, I can take it, just no more running off okay? At least not unless Joan orders you too and even then I want to be in on it, I've got clearance, no secrets."
"Okay, not secrets," Annie promised. They both knew that might be a lie, there might be a time when Joan asked them to keep secrets at work, but they both understood, and they were both okay with it, as long as the things that really mattered were out in the open between them. "So, I have something to show you," she began, and she opened the clasp at the back of her neck and carefully put the key into Auggie's hand.
Auggie repositioned himself so he could examine it with his fingertips. "Feels like a key, for what? It must be an antique."
"It was, it belonged to a family trunk, the trunk doesn't matter anymore, it's gone, but that key meant a lot to Simon, to his whole family, and his sister gave it to me."
"So it means a lot to you too," Auggie murmured nodding. He swallowed hard, now wasn't the time for jealously. "I can understand that," he said not entirely comfortably, but damn it he was trying. He was going to be the bigger man. He knew he could never win a competition with a dead man by flying into a jealous rage over a keepsake, though it hurt a little to know how much Simon s till dominated Annie's thoughts. It felt shallow to admit that Parker had become nothing more than a bitter memory as soon as he'd allowed himself to set his sights on the real object of his affections.
"I still wear it, out of respect, and to remind myself that there's more to me than being an operative. I love you Auggie Anderson and as much as I wish none of it had happened I'm grateful that falling for Simon unlocked whatever it was in me that was shutting people out. It's part of what got me here, to you, to this."
"Excuse me if I don't thank Mr Fisher, because he did land you in the hospital, even if that was more Lena than him, but I'm pretty glad you're here too," Auggie smiled as he pushed away the dark cloud that hovered when he thought about those days in the hospital, waiting to see if she would live, and the days before it worrying if he was going to lose her to a man who couldn't possibly deserve her in Auggie's perception. Auggie carefully passed the necklace back to Annie. "I'd put it back on for you, but honestly, I could barely do those things up even when I could still see them."
Annie smiled back. "So do you mind if I still wear it?"
"You can wear whatever you want," Auggie reassured her, "but right now you're taking it off. All of it!" He commanded with a laugh and his fingers found her top button. Annie slipped the necklace into the bedside drawer for safe keeping and slipped her arms around her beautiful boyfriend's back and returned his kisses with a vigour that was neither unconvincingly exaggerated nor hesitant and restrained, she simply gave herself over to the way they fit together. They worked. They made sense, and they felt totally right.
Author's Note: Thanks for reading, it was pretty late at night when I wrote this so if any errors jump out at you please PM me or leave a review comment. Or just let me know you read it, hit counters only tell me you opened it, reviews tell and favorites tell me if you liked it.
