Gohan & Videl: Young Lovers to be

by General Fluffer McKitty

Gohan is starting high school, and meets a certain young superhero. It wouldn't be entertaining if he knew what to do about a crush, so he turns to an unexpected source.

1. Part 1

Gohan shook his head as he avoided another book thrown at him. Finally he looked up from his own stack and yelled at the owner of the four textbooks now piled on the other side of the table. "Hey! I'm TRYING to study! Leave me alone!"

"Like you need to study," the girl sneered. "You're highest in the class!"

"So? How the hell do you think I got there? Bribed the teacher?" he snapped, picking up her science notebook and holding it out. "You might want to do the same. Especially with those notes you keep!"

She reached over and grabbed it from him, black hair falling in her face, coming loose from her ponytail. "How do you know what my notes look like? Trying to cheat now?"

As much as Gohan liked this girl, and as smart as she was, sometimes she was pretty dense. "Well, when it bounces off the back of my head, I think I have a right to see what it is."

"How old ARE you anyway? You look a little too young to be in here."

He scowled. Goku's good looks were also his young looks. Gohan had inherited both, but hadn't yet gotten the tall stature. "About as old as you, I imagine. 14."

"You. 14." She shook her head. "I don't believe this."

"I didn't ask you to. I'm only telling you the truth." He picked up her books and dumped them next to her. "Now, I have to study!"

"Right. What IS this crap anyway?" She looked inside the cover of one of his books and gasped. "Trig?!"

"Yeah. Old stuff. I wish I had something a little more challenging," he said casually, momentarily forgetting that not everyone had Chi Chi as a homeschooler.

"AP Chemistry? College English?" She shook her head. "What kind of freak are you? You from another planet or something?"

He hid a grin. If only she knew. "If I told you, you wouldn't believe me."

She crossed her arms and scowled. "Try me."

He was about to answer when an ear-bursting yell rang through the entire school. "Boy! Where are you?!"

Gohan winced and started packing up his books. "O, shit. I'm in trouble now."

She grabbed his arm. "WHAT are you doing? You can't cut class again!"

Gohan barely glanced at her. "Listen, when Piccolo calls, you DON'T waste TIME!"

"Who?" she asked as he gently moved her out of his way.

"My martial arts master," he muttered as he slung his bag over his shoulder. "And if HE wants me NOW I'm in DEEP shit!"

She tagged along, trying to keep him from leaving. "You'll get another detention," she warned.

He laughed. "Videl, that is the LEAST of my problems right now. I should be worried if I'll be ALIVE to GO to detention!"

Videl grabbed his arm and yanked him back a step. Her next sentence was drowned out by Piccolo calling him again. "Boy! Where are you? Don't make me come looking!"

Gohan marched over to the window, every eye in study hall on him now, and yelled out to the hovering Namek, "Wait a minute! I'll be right there!"

"Better hurry, boy! Kami's not patient!"

Gohan paled so fast Videl thought he was going to pass out. "Kami...?" he whispered fearfully. "O, SHIT, I am dead."

"Son Gohan! WHAT are you doing?!"

He stopped and turned to see the only person besides his mother and Bulma he was deathly afraid of. She just didn't know it yet. "TRYING to get OUT of here before Piccolo decides to try and find me!" She crossed her arms and tapped her foot. "Well, HIS version of looking is blowing up the building section by section! I THINK the teachers will understand! And you DON'T deny KAMI!"

That seemed to get her attention. She dimly realized that they were moving toward the door, but that didn't stop her from asking the next question. "You mean you KNOW the Guardian of the Earth?!"

"Yeah, so I'd better not stall any more. For all I know he's gonna shoot me! But I didn't do it!"

"Do what?" she asked as he maneuvered toward the double doors.

"Whatever I didn't DO!" he yelled back over his shoulder. Apologizing to the teacher he ran over, he set her gently on her feet before rushing out to his old sensi.

"What took you so long?" Piccolo asked gruffly.

"Women," Gohan muttered. "Let's go before Videl--"

"Gohan!"

He winced and looked down. "Man! I forgot how FAST she is!"

Piccolo looked down. "HER?!"

"Yeah. The other superhero in Satan City. The female one. Hates my guts there too."

Videl, followed by the woman Gohan had plowed into, shook her fist at him and yelled for all she was worth. He grimaced and looked at Piccolo, who was smirking.

"You're afraid of her?"

Gohan lowered his eyes. "Around MY house...you grow up with a deep fear of women. She's just another Bulma with Mom's looks!"

Piccolo rolled his eyes, but by now Videl had lifted off the ground. "Gohan! Get in there! What happened to studying?!"

Gohan pointed at Piccolo. "He calls, you don't waste time. He calls because Kami wants you, you GO. Very FAST."

Piccolo glared at her. "Gohan, talk to your little girlfriend when you get back. I don't want another earful from that old geezer."

Gohan turned red. "She's NOT my girlfriend," he muttered. He silently added, 'I just WISH she could be.'

"No, I'm NOT!" Videl agreed, crossing her arms.

Piccolo grabbed Gohan by his hair and nodded once to Videl. Then he took off, Gohan in tow and Videl screaming after them.

"One of these days you're really going to get me in a lot of trouble. What's Mom gonna say when she finds out I cut again?"

Piccolo didn't answer. "You like that girl?"

"How did you know?"

"Who doesn't? You haven't hidden your feelings."

"Well, apparently SHE'S clueless." He paused before asking meekly, "Well, what do you think?"

Piccolo looked straight ahead, but Gohan could SWEAR he saw a hint of a smile on the alien's face. "You could've picked worse," was all he would say.

"Piccolo? You can let go of my hair now."

He only tightened his grip and flew on. Gohan sighed and crossed his arms. As short as the flight was, it was still going to be one LONG trip.

When Piccolo finally released him, Gohan found they were atop Kami's lookout, and Dende was there as well. Gohan grinned, his complaints vanishing at the sight of his long-time best friend.

"Gohan! You made it!" Dende said cheerfully, obviously overjoyed. "I'm so glad!"

"Me too," Gohan agreed. "Do you know what this is about?" Dende nodded eagerly. "Well, what?"

At that moment Kami appeared, tailed by Mr, Popo and some figures in capes that shimmered like navy blue vinyl. "Gohan," Kami began sternly, looking first at Piccolo, then down to the boy he was addressing.
Gohan -- who had FINALLY gotten color back in his cheeks -- paled again, only not as noticeably this time. "I didn't do it! I swear!" He looked around frantically for a moment, then looked up at the old guardian. "Goten did it!"

"Did what?" Kami asked, a little amused. He made a slight gesture with his hand and the hooded figures put down the half-foot wide candles and stepped back, fading in and out of view like a light bulb on the blitz.

"Whatever I DIDN'T do!"

Dende chuckled. "Don't worry Gohan. You're not in trouble! You're here for a celebration!" Gohan looked at him skeptically. "Didn't Nail tell you? I'M going to be the new Guardian of the Earth!"



[Back at school: lunch]
Gohan sat his bookbag gently on the table, face still having a shocked expression on it. "I don't believe it... I don't believe it..." he repeated.

He was so absorbed in the news that he didn't notice Videl until she dropped his books on his head. "You're WELCOME," she said as she let a pencil fall after the textbooks were piled on the table. "I was kind enough to get you your homework since you CUT half of today!" He didn't even look up and she banged his back. "Hello? Are you in there?"

Gohan stopped repeating himself. Now he didn't say anything. He snapped out of it when Videl found Chi Chi's favorite spot to hit him on the back of his head. He jumped up and spun around to see Videl, scowling at him. "Huh? What?"

She punched him again and shook her head. "O, the intelligent response!" She rolled her eyes then levelled her gaze to look at him. Then realized he'd sat back down. "Where WERE you?"

"Kami's Lookout," he answered truthfully, twisting in his seat to face her. "Why?"

"Just wondering who to kill for dragging you out of school so much," she answered with a shrug.

"Why do you care so much?" he wondered aloud, but he didn't ask it nastily. He cocked his head like he really cared about the answer.

"I DON'T. It's just something to complain about. I mean, what college is going to accept you if you don't ever come to school?!"

He smirked a little. "You want a list?" he asked, again not nastily. He reached in his bag and pulled out several sheets of paper, all filled with columns and numbers. "Here. THAT'S who would want me."

Gohan didn't know a human's eyes could get so wide. Goten's yes, but not Videl's. They looked like they took up half of her head as she read on, looking at scholarships and names. Finally, hands shaking, she put the papers down, turned and left without another word.

Gohan watched her go, then turned back to his work, shaking his head. "Women."

"Hi, honey. How was school today?" Chi Chi asked, turning as her son walked in the door, dish and towel still in her hands. He only groaned and shook his head. In the sigh that followed his answer, she could almost swear she heard him say "School? Right." She put her hands on her hips and scowled. "Gohan..." she said warningly.

He put a hand up and dropped his books. "Not now, Mother," he said irritably and vanished from view.

Chi Chi shook her head. She KNEW something was wrong now. Gohan only called her Mother after a VERY stressful day.

"Mommy." Goten tugged on her skirt and smiled up at her, his two front teeth still not there. "Where Gohan? I wanna spar!"

"How about you go find out what's wrong with your brother. He's upset."

"Kay. THEN we spar?"

Chi Chi rolled her eyes, but she couldn't help but giggle at her youngest son. "Yes, Goten. If he wants to. But I don't want EITHER of you in the healing chambers afterwards!"

Goten pouted for a minute. "That no fun."

"Well, either no fun or no fight," Chi Chi offered. "Your choice."

Goten smiled again. "All right. No fun." Then he was gone too.

Chi Chi shook her head. "I wish they would stop doing that. I really do."

"Gohan? You okay?" Goten asked as he poked his head in the door. Gohan was facedown on his bed, and he looked exhausted. "Gohan?"

The older boy threw a pillow, not bothering to keep his strength in check. "Hey!" Goten protested when it hit him on the side of his neck. "Hurts!"

"Get out," Gohan said, sounding as tired as he looked. Since the order didn't have the usual bite to it, Goten didn't take him seriously. Gohan rolled over, picked his little brother up by the hair and plopped him outside the door, then slammed it on the little boy's tail.

Chi Chi, roused from the kitchen by Goten's howling, ran to find that Gohan had yet to open the door. "Gohan! Get out here! Before I get MAD! Now, I know you've had a bad day, but--" The door swung open and a murderous-looking Gohan stood there.

He gently pushed Goten out of the way and scowled. "I'm sorry, Mother. It won't happen again." Then he slammed the door again and left Chi Chi mostly speechless. Mostly. He ignored her ranting as he laid back down on the bed. He should be happy. His best friend was now in the highest place of power on the planet, he could get into any college he wanted NEXT YEAR, and he'd done all his homework before lunch was over. Yet it was Videl's anger that spoiled his whole day.

He rolled over to stare at the ceiling. O, Kami -- no! It was Dende now, he reminded himself -- how he liked her! But he had the distinct feeling that she would say no to a movie, or a dinner, or even going to the next martial arts tournament. Nothing date-like between them.

He sighed heavily, barely realizing that his mother had given up trying to get him out of his room. Boy, was he going to get it later! But for some reason, he wasn't worried about what Chi Chi was going to do. That thought made him sit bolt upright. "Better not tell HER that. She'll KILL me," he muttered to himself.
"Why can't I be like Dad? He doesn't worry about this shit. And I have the feeling Goten is going to be the same way. Why did I get Dad's looks and Mom's brains anyway? Kami must've hated me for SOMETHING."

He was about to fall asleep when a faint beeping caught his attention. It was a barely-perceptible sound, but he sat up and dug through his drawer to find the tiny case he'd stashed in there to avoid a LONG explanation.

"Gohan! How are you? It's been two months and I wanted to see how you were doing!" Gohan smiled despite all that was going on his mind. Princess Snake always knew how to cheer him up, even if it was just talking for a few minutes.

He sat down and laid his chin on crossed arms that rested on the back of the chair he was straddling. "OK I guess. How are you?"

"Great! Especially now that I'm talking to you." She smiled and shook her head. "But there's something bothering you, isn't there?"

He looked up. "How did you know?"

"Gohan, I'm a woman. I can sense these things. Besides, 'OK, I guess' is a great example of something not being right. So what is it?"

Gohan fidgeted. "Well... Princess Snake? How do you ask a girl out on a date?"

"What?" Princess Snake got taken aback by the blunt question. "You've got to be kidding me." She took one look at Gohan's face and knew he wasn't. "By God, you're serious!"

Gohan nodded. "Well, Dad wouldn't know and I'm sure as hell not going to ask Mom!"

"I wouldn't either," Princess Snake said as she chewed thoughtfully on her fingernail. Realizing what she was doing, she hurridly put her hand out of view and smiled.

"Does she have to...LIKE you to go out?" Gohan asked hopefully.

"Well, usually that DOES help," she told him, trying not to let her sarcasm slip into her voice. "Why?"

Gohan was drawing circles on the back of the chair with his finger. "Well, she kinda...HATES me right now."

"What?! Why?"

Gohan winced. "Well...she was first in the class until I came, um...she can't win when we fight, and I'm the other superhero in Satan City. She thinks I'm stealing all her fame, but she doesn't know it's me."

Snake put a hand to her head and leaned back. "Gohan, we've got some work to do."

"Yeah, I know. Too bad I can't just kidnap her or... some...thing," Gohan said, biting his lower lip as he tried to control the grin that accompanied his idea.

"Gohan..." Snake knew that look in his eyes. The last time he looked like that he'd almost gotten her to rebuild Snake Way. As it was NOW, it only took a normal human two months to walk there instead of the usual six for Saiyans. She was almost afraid to know what he had in store THIS time.

"Could you send me some sleepy grass?" Gohan asked innocently. A little TOO innocently.

"Are you going to tell me WHY?" she asked warily. Gohan shook his head frantically. She sighed. "All right." Then she smacked herself. "Wait! No! I have a BAD feeling, Gohan. No!"

He smiled angelically and gave her the saddest lost-little-puppy-dog look he had in his repertoire and batted his eyes. "PLEASE?"

"Ye-- no! No, Gohan!"

"Why not?" he asked, sounding hurt. He knew she couldn't resist him before. This was the longest she'd ever held out.

"Because I said no. You didn't give me a reason, so I don't give YOU one either."

Gohan scowled a little. She had him there. Or maybe... "I want it for Videl. She can't sleep at night."

Snake looked at him. "Gohan, why do I have the feeling you're trying to get something?"

"Because I am," he answered truthfully, putting his chin in his hands and smiling. Snake blinked: for a second there he looked like he was 7 years old again.

"Princess Snake! Hurry! We have a visitor! King Yemma is here to see you! It's about the reconstruction of the road!"

Snake looked at Gohan, who blushed slightly. "I'll be right there! You, behave yourself!" She blew him a kiss and winked. "But the answer's still no."

Gohan watched the little fake mirror go blank, then tilted the chair back on two legs and grinned. He should be expecting that sleepy grass any day now.

Chi Chi was astounded at the change in her son. He came into the kitchen and grinned. "Hey Mom. Sorry I was in such a bad mood earlier." He kissed her cheek and looked sheepish, almost afraid. "Hope you're not mad."

"No," Chi Chi said, her wonder clearly evident in her voice. "Not at all, Gohan."

Goten was creeping around to Chi Chi's side, whimpering when Gohan saw him. Then he noticed his brother's expression and let out a small sigh of relief.

"Hey Goten," Gohan said cheerfully as he tossed the other replica of Goku above his head. "How's your tall? I'm sorry."

Goten wiggled it and shook his head. "All better."

"What's all better?" Goku asked as he came in and swept Chi Chi away from the food to give her a kiss.

"Tail, Daddy," Goten answered as Gohan chuckled. It wasn't often Goku treated his wife with such affection, and it was no secret she enjoyed every minute of it.

"What happened to it?" he asked, a little worried. He remembered how painful it was when HIS tail got damaged.

"Gohan."

"Am I missing something?" Goku wondered as he scratched his head.

"No, Dad. I accidentally got Goten's tail caught in my door." He winced and looked down. "When I slammed it."

Goten made a face and said, "Gohan have bad day."

"Yeah, sorta." He looked at his parents. Chi Chi had gone back to cooking, even though Goku's tail was wrapped around her. "Guess what? Dende's the new Guardian of the Earth!"

Chi Chi, who had been tasting her soup, choked on it. Goku pulled her over and patted her back, all the while staring at Gohan. "Really? That's great! I guess Kami finally found the right successor."

"Dad?" Gohan asked.

Goku grinned. "I was over at Bulma's today.

"Figures," Gohan said as he rolled his eyes. "I should've known that when you came home. Big words AND hugs. Yep, you were over at Bulma's all right."

"Yeah. She said they're going to bring Trunks over later. She convinced Vegeta to come too."

Chi Chi froze. "Two more Saiyans?" She looked in the cabinet and sighed. "How much money did you make off of that last tournament, Gohan?"

"Enough." He shifted Goten to the other arm and grinned. "Well, maybe I can MEET this kid now. I can only IMAGINE what he must be like with parents like THAT!"

Goku grinned. "Actually, he's very kind and polite. He's a lot like you Gohan. And he takes his training very seriously."

"POLITE?! Bulma and Vegeta's son is POLITE?!"

"And he has a lot of patience," Goku added.

"Are you SURE they didn't just switch babies at the hospital?"

"Yeah. He has the same color hair as his grandfather. And Bulma at that age."

"How did that happen?" Chi Chi broke in. "I thought black hair was dominant."

"Knowing Bulma, her gene pushed Vegeta's out of the way," Gohan muttered. Chi Chi chuckled and Goku smiled. "So, Goten. What do you think of Trunks?"

"He fun!" Goten said, throwing his arms up. "'Specially when his daddy let us spar."

"Well, it sounds like we have a winner," Gohan said with a grin. "Now I can't wait to meet this kid."

"Gohan, I'm getting ready to go. Could I borrow that money, please?" Chi Chi asked as she wiped her hands on her apron.

"Chi Chi, Bulma was telling me about her newest capsules. They have enough food in them to almost fill a Saiyan!" His wife looked at him skeptically, but Goku continued. "Vegeta tried them and said they do. Then he said it was better than Bulma's cooking. And Bulma smacked him with a frying pan because it WAS her cooking." He smiled at the memory, then shook his head to get himself back on track. "They're bringing some of them over for us, and then you guys can make whatever."

"O, OK." Chi Chi smiled as Goten climbed from Gohan's arms to his father's shoulder.

"Daddy? We spar?" he asked hopefully, bouncing a little.

"Sure. How 'bout it Gohan? Wanna join us?"

"Don't see why not," Gohan said with a grin as he took off his school jacket. "Let's go!"

Suddenly Chi Chi was standing in an empty kitchen. "I hate it when they do that," she muttered. "You guys better come back able to STAND! I'm NOT taking you over to Bulma's and try out the newest tank of hers!" she called out the window. "Now, what to make for dinner..."

Goten waddled back in and smiled angelically at his mother before climbing up on a chair. "Where's Daddy and Gohan?" Chi Chi asked as she put down the plates.

"Coming," Goten answered with a smile. "Gohan got beated up. Daddy carry him back."

"What?!" Chi Chi looked up to see a battered Goku carrying an equally injured Gohan into the house. "What were you guys DOING?"

"Sparring," came Gohan's broken answer as Goku set him down.

"Well, you know..." Chi Chi began. She looked at Gohan's face and found he was aleady tuned out. Goku was at the table, waiting for food. "You should be more careful," was all she said, then turned away to finish the food.

Gohan grinned. "I know. The next thing Bulma needs to invent is a capsule that carries that tank. Or better yet, a PILL or something. Combine that with Korin's beans and we've got it made!"

Goku chuckled. "Senzu beans that heal as well as give you back your strength. I'll have to talk to Korin about those..."

Goten jumped up from the chair and ran as fast as he could to the window in the other room. "Trunks here! Trunks here!" he called to his family.

Chi Chi glared at Gohan, then at Goku. "You two get cleaned up! NOW!"

"Yes, Chi Chi," Goku said, picking Gohan up. "We'll be back."

"Goku! IN the house this time!" Chi Chi called after them. "I don't want Bulma to--"

"Yes, dear!" Goku called back cutting her off. He plopped Gohan down on the floor of the other room and grinned at him while Gohan shook his head.

Chi Chi smiled in the direction of the boys and shook her head. "What am I going to do with them?" Then she remembered there was someone at her door. Putting on her most patient smile, she opened it to the other family.

Gohan stretched lazily and tried to keep his eyes open. Not only was this class WAY too easy, Videl wasn't there to insult him and keep him awake. At least not yet. So he was doodling on the desk, careful not to push too hard for fear of denting the table.

"Gohan? Are you paying attention?" the teacher snapped. Gohan sighed. She STILL hadn't forgiven him for literally running her over yesterday. Sheesh! Some people are SO touchy!

"No, ma'am," Gohan answered honestly. 'Even though I don't NEED to. I learned this stuff when I was 4!' he finished silently. "Could you repeat the question?"

"After you pick your head up off the desk. I will not tolerate sleeping in my class."

Gohan obediently lifted his head and looked at her blankly. 'I wasn't sleeping. I was daydreaming,' he thought to himself with a half-hidden smile.

"What... Gohan, what happened to you?" the teacher asked, astonished.

"What....happened...to me?" Gohan asked, confused.

"Yeah, Einstein." Videl's voice broke through as she set her books on the table next to his. "You look like you went through a meat slicer."

"O, yeah! My dad--"

"Your FATHER did this to you?!" Videl asked, astounded. "WHY?"

"Well, you see, Mom found out that I got out of school and--"

"She told your father to BEAT you?!" This time it was the teacher who butted in. She went over to Gohan and gently grasped his arm, making him stand to take him out of the room to talk. Videl pulled up the rear to make sure he didn't escape.

"No! If you guys would just LISTEN, I would be able to tell you that--"

But the girls ignored him. "I think we should have a LONG talk with his parents!" Videl said firmly. "There's NO reason to treat you like this!"

"Why do I bother?" Gohan moaned, defeated. He crossed his arms and let himself be dragged along. "I don't think Mom's gonna like this...."

"I assume you know why you're here," the older man said, leaning onto his desk. Gohan rolled his eyes and sat back, wondering for the hundredth time why he allowed himself to be dragged into the guidance counselor's office. In HIS opinion, the guy wasn't fit to give guidance to someone who didn't need it. The man was an absolute nut!

"Actually, no. I've been trying to figure that out for the last 20 minutes I've been waiting!"

"I've heard from your teachers and one of your classmates that you come from an abusive family. Is that true?"

"Sort of," Gohan answered. He hated these questions, because most of them were linked to his Saiyan heritage, and he didn't feel like explaining THAT to him.

"Elaborate please," the counselor said, resting his chin in his cupped hands. Gohan struggled to keep himself from making faces at the guy's horrendous breath.

"Well, you see, we fight a lot, and accidents happen. They don't MEAN to hurt me. And usually they don't."

"Gohan, just by LOOKING at you, you have several bruises, quite a few cuts scrapes. You have at least five second-or-third degree burns, and heaven knows what else."

"Six broken ribs, two of those fractured on each part that's broken, burns on my chest, fractured shin, and a big ass lump on the back of my head," Gohan rattled off, then smiled at the man. "Anything else, sir?"

"You don't call THAT abusive?!"

"Abusive? No way! It's only in fun."

The man took off his glasses and rubbed his temples. "Well, I've called your parents to come in. Maybe THEY can settle this."

Gohan slumped in his chair. "You don't know what you've just gotten yourself into, pal," he muttered under his breath. "All hell is about to break loose."

That actually wasn't far from the truth: hell was only PART of the storm Chi Chi brought with her when she barged into the office.

"What the HELL is going on in here?" she demanded, slamming her hands on the table. The counselor noticed Gohan had dashed out of the way while his mother barged past. Goku was nursing the back of his head, eyeing his son. "I got a call today about Gohan being hurt, and all *I* see is what he got two days ago!"

"You KNEW your son had these injuries?" he deducted.

"Of course! That's what happens when his father gets to him!" she yelled, her face turning red in her efforts not to throttle the man.

He looked up to see two Gohans behind the obviously furious woman. "Great God!" He leapt to his feet.

Chi Chi rolled her eyes and grabbed Goku by the ear. "Does he look any better off to you?" she demanded as Goku clapped a hand over his abused hearing organ.

"Chi Chi, not so LOUD," he complained, wincing.

"I'm sorry Goku," she amended. Releasing Gohan's lookalike, she glared the counselor back down. "WHY did you call us in? Gohan is FINE!"

"LOOK at him!"

"I AM! He was TRAINING and having a little FUN!" Chi Chi roared. Goku got as far from his wife as he could and shot Gohan a look. His son had a faraway look on his face, like he was daydreaming. 'Smart kid,' Goku thought before shaking his head. Chi Chi always caught him when HE did that, but Gohan was too good.

The screeching went on. "Don't you KNOW who my husband is? Son Goku, winner of the martial arts tournament EVERY YEAR!"

The guy's face paled as he looked at the damaged adult. "THAT Goku?" He slumped in his seat, looking at the identical face in his other chair. He took off his glasses and rubbed his temples. "That doesn't explain a thing!"

Seeing Chi Chi was about to explode, Gohan prayed for a miracle and asked casually. "Mom, where's Goten? You didn't leave him at home again, did you?"

"Do I look stupid to you?" Chi Chi answered. Gohan wisely put a hand over his father's mouth and clamped his own shut. "I left him with Bulma and Trunks."

Gohan groaned and slid down in the chair. "You mean you let him go over there when all of the tanks are out of order from their LAST 'playtime'?!"

"He promised they wouldn't fight," she said, glaring at him.

"What EXACTLY did he tell you?"

"Neither of them would end up in the..." Her voice trailed off as she realized she'd been suckered. "Of COURSE they won't end up in the tank because they DON'T WORK! By Dende, does EVERYONE have to give roundabout answers?!"

"Runs in the family," Gohan muttered, glancing at Goku.

"Trunks! There are PEOPLE here! Stop! No, I'm very sorry. He'll put the door back. Do it!"

At this both Son boys groaned and sunk to the floor. Gohan banged his head against his father's shoulder, the only thing in the room that wouldn't dent from his doing so. Goku closed his eyes and pretended he was invisible.

Bulma charged in the room, Trunks in one hand -- suspended by his tail -- and Goten in her other arm. Both wore sheepish looks. Goten was twiddling his thumbs while Trunks whistled. Bulma dropped both boys, tossing a sack to Goku.

"A gift, from Vegeta," she said with some amusement. Blue eyes rolled back in her head as she thought. "I think he said 'Give these to that dumbass so I can get some REAL training in.' I think he got tired of using Trunks as a test dummy when he couldn't always hit him." Bulma grinned and looked at Chi Chi.

Goku pocketed the senzu beans and grinned at his other son. "Hey Goten."

Goku and Gohan's Mini-me turned to face them, his entire right side blackened but his expression bright. "Hi Daddy!" He threw himself at his father, leaving Trunks to himself. Gohan patted his lap and the purple-haired boy immediately jumped into it, expecting another candy like he'd gotten two nights before.

"So, who kicked butt?" Gohan asked, looking the boys over. He noticed the counselor was staring at them, and he chuckled. Both of them had quite a few marks and semi-serious injuries, but Trunks seemed just a little better off than his best friend.

"I did!" Goten announced proudly, lifting Trunks' hanging tail out of the way. There was indeed a dark footprint just below the hole in the pants for the boy's tail. Gohan shook his head and smiled.

"It means who won," Goku said tolerantly, grinning at his second son.

"O." Goten scowled and crossed his arms and pouted, pointing to Bulma's son. "Trunks."

The guidance counselor was now finishing a dose of pills he had stashed in his drawer. There was a loud crash from outside and Bulma ran into the hallway.

"Vegeta, if you want me, just CALL! What did you do to my CAR? Do you know how LONG it took to FIX? Now were going to have to FLY home! And wipe that smirk off your face this INSTANT!"

"I think I should go make sure Vegeta doesn't hit anything else with that," Goku said, but as soon as he got up, Bulma's next statement cut through the air.

"I KNOW you don't like Oldsmobiles, but for Dende's sake DON'T do that!"

"Too late," Gohan muttered as he got back onto the chair, glancing at the poor frightened man. "I told you so," he informed the teacher.

"I don't CARE if there are classes going on! I want my husband to stop trashing everything in the parking lot!"

Trunks put his hands over his eyes. "My parents," he moaned, shaking his head. "What am I going to do?"

Gohan grinned and patted the kid's shoulder. "The same thing I do. Ignore them and pretend you don't know them when they start yelling. Just walk away."

Trunk snorted. "Like Father would LET me do that."

"O, I don't know. When Vegeta gets going, he can be pretty ignorant to his surroundings."

Videl, looking petrified and concerned at the same time entered the office and stopped before she could get her first word out. Then she very slowly turned and marched back past the still ranting Bulma. But not before noticing that Gohan took an unholy amount of glee in the counselor's unconscious state. Gohan heard something about the school being turned into a circus and shook his head.

"Women."

Videl returned when all was quiet. Gohan and the man that looked exactly like him were nowhere to be seen, or that screeching woman and the crazy man wielding a car like a baseball bat.

She felt a tug on her skirt and looked down to see Gohan's face plastered on yet another body. "Yes?"

"You Videl?" he asked, an innocent smile crossing his half-burned face.

"Yes. What happened to YOU?" She knelt and brushed a careful hand across his black cheek.

"Trunks," he said, shaking his head. "I got him back. His daddy not like that I could hit him though."

Videl didn't want to know, especially if the guy with the car was the other boy's father. "Okay. So what did you want?"

"Just wanted to know who Gohan talk about all the time," he answered, sniffing. "He right. You very boobiful."

"Boobiful," she repeated in a growl.

"Goten, what are you doing?" Chi Chi looked down on the pair and smiled. "O you must be Videl! Gohan talks about you so much!"

"In his seep," Goten added.

"Seep?" Videl looked at the older woman for help.

"Sleep," Chi Chi explained.

Goten nodded vigorously. "Yeah. Talk in his seep. Says you very boobiful."

"That's BEAUTIFUL Goten. BEAUTIFUL."

"Boobiful," Goten repeated, nodding. "She is."

Videl smiled. "Thank you Goten." The little boy beamed as she asked, "What else does he say?"

He hummed, onyx eyes rolling back into his head like the answers were pasted on the back of his skull. For all Videl knew they were. With this family, who could tell?

Tail sliding into his hands, he rocked like he was trying to recite a speech from memory. "Says he wish you not hate him... and uh... uh... says he like you a lot... say you fight good... um..." He squinted like the answers had somehow gotten really small.

"When has he seen me fight?" she asked herself, but Goten's eyes popped open.

"Yeah! He say that he wish you were team to fight in city!" Goten grinned and rocked back and forth. "Says that wished he could tell you he other superhero!" He bounced happily at relaying the information.

"GOHAN is...HE...o, next time I get ahold of him...!" Her tone clearly stated dire punishments for the young Saiyan.

Chi Chi shook her head. "Just talk to him. I'm sure he'll understand. As for Goten, maybe not." She winked at the girl, tugged lightly on Goten's tail and hauled him off to the waiting Goku. Videl shook her head and repeated all the information under her breath as she walked away.

As Videl disappeared, Gohan slumped to the ground, letting out a breath. So, now she knew. Perfect. He was going to kill his brother when he got home. Even if he DID have to go through Goku and Trunks to do it.

Gohan yawned as his hand slid into his pocket before reaching for the fizzing soda. Glancing over at an equally sleepy Videl, he cracked a small smile. The sleepy grass had come yesterday, sooner than expected. Reaching for the glass, he put on his most innocent look and wandered over to his crush.

"Hey," he said as he plopped down, sliding the drink over in front of her. "You look like you need this."

She eyed it, then him. "All right. Who are you and what did you do with Gohan?" she demanded, rubbing her eyes.

"I feel bad about yesterday." His hand gingerly brushed the spot where there was undoubtedly a bruise from his attempts to escape the classroom. "Besides, you look like you're going to fall asleep in your..." He looked down at the tray and winced. "What the school calls macaroni and cheese."

Still not used to Gohan's kindness, she picked up the cup and glanced at it. "What did you do to it?"

Carefully evading the question, he answered, "I just thought you would feel better. If you want I'll even show you." The glass was immediately shoved back into his hands. Reaching for the cap of his water bottle, he poured the sleepy grass-filled Cola into it. With a "cheers" motion, he drank it, grinning at her. "See? I didn't fall over dead over anything."

"I AM a little thirsty," she admitted, looking at him, then down at her tray. Gohan stifled a sigh as she put the cup down. "I thought school food was bad at LUNCHTIME. It's WORSE in study hall!"

Gohan powered down even lower as he tapped the table, as if remembering something. "I'll see you later. I have to get my assignments from yesterday."

Videl watched him as he disappeared. Glancing down at the beverage, she shrugged. "O, what the hell." She guzzled most of the drink before her vision blacked out and gravity claimed her as a friend.

When Videl woke again, her head felt like someone had cracked open her skull with a sledgehammer and was currently picking out her brain with a toothpick. "O, GOD, what HAPPENED?" she asked as she slowly sat up and shook her head, immediately wishing she didn't. As the dimly-lit room began to spin, she fell back into strong arms.

"Hey. Glad you're awake," came a familiar voice.

"Gohan! Where are we? How did I get here? And WHY am I here?" she demanded, trying to turn and face him. "O, man. Maybe I shouldn't do that. It hurts my head."

Gohan settled on her side, with a arm around her shoulders to keep her from falling. "We're in a cave where I lived for 6 months when Dad died, I carried you here, and we're going on a picnic." Then his smile faded and he looked at her. "Are you all right? You took a hard fall."

"What the HELL was in that soda?" she asked, a bit more quietly. "And if THIS is what if feels like to have a hangover, I'm NEVER touching a bottle of alcohol!"

"Sleepy grass," he replied casually as he reached for the picnic basket.

"What?" she asked as she looked at him. He dug through the food until he came up with a capsule. Grinning, he tossed it a few feet and watched as the puff of smoke disappeared. Sitting Videl up even more, he raced to get the medicine then back before she could hit the ground. "Here. This should help with the headache."

"What ARE you?" she wanted to know, eyeing him strangely. Gohan sighed and handed the bottle to her. She warily accepted it and looked at him expectantly.

"Well, it's REALLY long and complicated," he began. "I'll try to explain everything, but it's guaranteed to give you a headache. Spend a few days with MY family and you're nuts for the rest of your life."

"All right, Mr. Saiyan-man," she muttered as she downed the liquid, and was shocked to find herself painless. "Wow, this really works!"

"Yeah, and it's actually bubble gum flavored," Gohan said with a smile. "Bulma's amazing, isn't she?"

"Bulma?" she asked, turning to face him.

"The Capsule Corp. president," he answered, unconsciously inching closer to the basket.

"Damn. Who DON'T you know?" she asked, impressed.

"I really don't know you, but let me start this."

He opened his mouth, but Videl interrupted. "Wait a minute! My mother is going to freak when I'm not home! I have to call her or something!' Gohan shook his head as she raced out of the cave, ticking off the seconds on his fingers.

With a scream on 10 and a return on 35, he glanced up at a furious girl. "There are DINOSAURS out there!" she exclaimed, panting.

"Yeah, I know. So?"

She took a step and tripped, sending something sprawling toward him. He glanced at it and grinned, scooping it up. "Hey, I've been looking for this for YEARS!"

"Glad you found it," she answered bitterly, dusting herself off. "Now, can I PLEASE contact my mom?"

"I already did. She thinks you're staying over that cheerleader Suzie's house tonight."

"No WAY am I staying HERE, in this CAVE, overnight with YOU! I WANT to go HOME!"

Gohan looked hurt. "Can you at least eat with me?" he asked hopefully, holding out the basket. "Please?"

"Do I have a choice?" she muttered, plopping down and putting her head in her hands. "I'm STUCK here."

"You always have a choice," he answered, picking out a few capsules and putting them in his back pocket. "I'll take you back if you want."

"Gohan, what are we DOING here? I mean, WHY out in the middle of nowhere?"

"I wanted us to be alone, and I wanted you to go on a picnic with me." He sounded so innocently simple.

"Most people ASK, not KIDNAP."

"If I asked, would you have come?" he asked wisely.

"No," she admitted slowly. Looking up, she took the offered sandwich and shook her head. "This is SO screwed up."

"Videl, why don't you like me?" Gohan blurted out suddenly.

"What?" she looked up sharply at his question.

Ears turning pink, Gohan repeated, "Why don't you like me? Because I score higher on the tests than you do? Because I have more power than you? Because you think I'm trying to steal your fame in Satan City? What?"

Videl blushed. "Actually, all of them. I'm used to being the best in everything. I guess I got jealous."

Gohan smiled and glanced down at the food. "Well, if there's one field you can beat me in, it's cooking. That's not really my family's strong point."

Videl smiled back and shook her head. "I STILL can't believe you KIDNAPPED me!" Then her eyes went distant like she was trying to calculate something in her head. "Hey! Why didn't anything happen to YOU?"

Gohan groaned and sat back on his heels. "I think you'll find that out when I tell you my story. And that's what most people think it is." He grinned and reached for his capsules, tossing it out quickly. "And why I need THAT," he said, pointing to the table that took up nearly the whole cave.

Videl sat back and shook her head. "Nothing is ever boring around you, I have to admit that." Then she felt grooves in the rock her hand was on and looked down at the slab. Algebra was carved into it, perfectly solving problems she had trouble learning NOW. "Damn. SOMEBODY'S smart."

"That? I did that when I was 5," he said humbly, blushing a little. "I think I'll cover that too."

"All right Gohan, you got me curious," Videl reluctantly admitted. "Now either spit it out or I'll try to find my way home."

"You can't cross the ocean by swimming," he muttered, but pulled a turkey leg off the table and began to chew thoughtfully. He stopped when he saw Videl staring at him.

"I can't even see your hands move," she said in wonder, then rubbed her temples. "I need a drink."

Gohan tossed her an unopened can of soda and smiled when she glared at him. "Are you SURE you don't want to leave?"

"I've got nothing better to do, and if nothing else, I'll be able to hold SOMETHING over your head." She propped her elbow on her knee and put her chin on her palm. With her free hand, she motioned for him to go on. Taking a deep breath, Gohan started with the arrival of his FAVORITE uncle, Radditz.