Disclaimer: Characters belong to JKRowling, I'm just borrowing them for Christmas.
A/N: I wanted to write a Christmas fic, and although I know I have so many other's to update, this is the only thing that seems to be coming out of me. I hope you enjoy, and constructive critcism is always welcome and enjoyed (for the most part). Italics represent a type of flashback. Enjoy! Happy Holidays! Happy Christmas! Happy New Year!
This was good. This was what she lived for. This was what she smiled and came home for. This. This comfort. This protection. This belonging. This man. This… love.
Lily Potter sniffed quietly and burrowed deeper into the chest attached to the strong arms encircling her, inhaling the scent held by the soft pullover. She pulled her legs up tighter and let a soft hum of affection escape her throat, and smiled as she felt lips press against her hairline.
Oh yes, he was her reason. After years of struggle, confusion, and fear, moments like this were what she cherished most, especially when shared with him.
It was Christmas. The snow fell among the trees outside their window, children ran outside laughing until their parents called them in, and water boiled on the stove in preparation for hot coco. It was Christmas, and they had finally gotten a day together, just them.
It hadn't been easy, It never was. But, despite the fighting, the terrifying chill of war, and the possibility of death in everyday they chose to leave their cocoon of safety, it had happened.
Lily sniffed again, gripping his sweater and trying to pull herself even closer to his warm body. This warmth is what she searched for.
James Potter closed the door quietly behind him, kicking off his boots with the least amount of sound and hanging his cloak on the rack. Careful not to make too much noise he shuffled toward the arch leading to the living area. His friend's laughter surrounded him from afar, bringing a tight smile to his tired face. He gripped the wall tightly as he quietly gazed into the area, taking in the sight of his wife of less than a year surrounded by her friend and his mates of nearly nine.
Even with her smile towards the other four he saw the sadness in her brilliant emerald eyes, and wished he could take it away. He stepped out of the shadows and smiled at the group as they surrounded him in welcome, giving and receiving relieved hugs. He had greeted everyone but her by the time most had sat down. She stood in front of her seat, arms grasped in front of her as she peered down at the floor.
Christmas Eve and she couldn't look at him.
"Lily?"
Her eyes slowly met his, glassy with unshed tears. He took a step toward her but was halted abruptly when her body came crashing into his, grasping onto his torso for dear life. He clung to her with equal fervour, dipping his head into the curve of her neck and shoulder, shaking with unregistered relief. They stood for a long moment, unaware that his best mate, Sirius Black, had started a conversation with the three others in order to give them a moment together.
He pulled her from the room into the hall, still tight in her embrace as he leaned against the sturdy wall. She pulled back after a few more minutes to look up into his shadowed face. Her eyes were wide and her lips trembled as he brought his hand up to trace her cheek.
"You're late."
He chuckled softly, nodding at her. He was, but he had good reason.
Her cheeks began to flame as she pulled back even more, than hit him roughly on the chest, "Don't you ever scare me like that again." But before he could apologize and explain, she was back against his body with her head buried into his previously assaulted chest. He chuckled again, wrapping his arms tightly around her shoulders and kissing her hair.
"I'm sorry." He cleared his throat, attempting to explain exactly why he was late. "We had an unexpected run in, and we didn't all make it. Fifteen of them out of nowhere; didn't even see it coming."
She gasped and looked up, still tightly pressed against him, "Who?"
He shook his head in dismay, "Gideon and Fabian." He cleared his throat painfully, unconsciously pulling the smaller woman even closer. "Dumbledore's to tell everyone at the next meeting. It's Christmas, no need to fret now." He laid his lips on her forehead softly as she closed her eyes to the tears.
With each death the reality seemed to suffocate.
His sweater muffled the redhead's next words, but he knew what she asked without a doubt, "Should we tell the others?"
He shook his head, "No. They deserve some peace."
He felt her nod, then struggle to pull away from him slightly. He let go of his grip until she was able to lift herself to her toes, her eyes still a few inches from being level with his. "I love you James Potter," before he could answer properly she had met his lips with hers and scooted back into the living area.
He fell against the wall for a moment, head rolling back and forth trying to gain control. With the reality of the Prewett's death his need to keep his wife and only love safe grew remarkably. There were five deaths in one week, and if the thought of the red-haired beauty hadn't continued through his mind during that afternoon, he feared he wouldn't be standing there. He took another deep breath before following her in to join the group in their festive activities.
"There he is! Hair as tousled as ever!" Sirius exclaimed as James walked towards Lily's seat. He lifted her as if she weighed nothing and plopped her back down onto his lap once he was settled, laughter surrounding them as she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him down for another quick kiss.
Lily pulled away and smiled towards the dark haired clown nestled comfortably on the carpeted floor. "I think he's handsome no matter how dishevelled." James squeezed her knee affectionately, a goofy smile across his face as he laid a kiss on her neck.
"James?" She sniffed quietly, bringing her head up so she could stare into his eyes. She released her tight grip on his sweater, and reflexively smoothed it. They sat together in their favourite armchair. Lily lay sprawled across his extended legs, knees curled and back against the armrest.
"Yes Lily?" His glasses sat low on his nose as their gazes met. He stared at her with a content smile on his soft lips, and his hair relatively tamed. He looked perfect with his slightly flushed cheeks, eyes heavy with relaxation and sleep.
Lily brought her hand up to his cheek, tracing the bone softly. "I love you." She stretched to kiss is temple, and smiled up at him. "I'm glad you came back. Happy Christmas."
James smiled down at her, "Me too." He wrapped his arms tighter around her, bringing her head to rest against his shoulder, "Happy Christmas Love."
She stared at the ceiling to keep her tears at bay. Meeting his eyes only made them come stronger and they would inevitably spill. She understood the cause, she did. She didn't understand the mission.
"So you're just leaving, just like that? One month before our first Christmas together, and I won't even know if you're going to still be alive on Christmas Eve." Her hands rolled into tight fists, and thrust into her pockets.
"Lily, you knew things like this would happen. We're fighting a war!"
She met his eyes then. "Yes, we are. I just…" she faltered and a tear slipped down her cheek. "I just want more time."
James sighed taking a step closer to her, but she stopped him before he took her in his arms. "Lily, I'm coming back."
"You don't know that. You can promise me you will, but I can only take it with a grain of salt. Like you said James, this is war. It's unpredictable."
"Lily. I'm coming back."
She looked down at her feet, shaking her head in what she didn't know was denial or acceptance. "So go."
She tried to stop him as he took a step towards her, but he pushed away her hands and took her in his arms. Holding her tightly to his chest as her shoulders shook with silent sobs he whispered in her ear, "I'll be back Love, before Christmas Eve, I'll be back." Stepping away, he wrapped his scarf tighter around his neck and strode to the door and out of the warm house. He'd come back - he had to.
They sat for hours. Silent for most, they held each other into the night. As James intertwined his fingers with hers, he felt this was the greatest intimacy they would ever share.
This was where he belonged - in front of the fire on Christmas day, his wife in his lap, and coco waiting to be made. This is what he lived for. This comfort. This love. This woman. This is why he fought and why he cared. Why he woke up with the alarm, lived, and loved. This is why he came back, why he always would.