If You Only Knew

Kid sat in the waiting room of the hospital, worrying and waiting. She'll make it, she's strong.

While he had been out of the city, Maka and Soul had gone on a mission to recover a kishin egg. But at one point, he had been told, a witch had jumped them and Maka had received severe injuries, which may she might die from. So he waited in this hospital room, leaning against the wall, worrying.

Soul had been there a while before, but he had left a bit ago, saying, "Maka wouldn't want us to worry like this. We need to get some sleep."

Kid had nodded in agreement, but he remained rooted in his chair. He felt like if he left, Maka wouldn't have anything to hold on to. But he was starting to fall asleep in the chair, and the woman at the front desk was shooting his dirty looks. She couldn't leave until he did. So, he sigh, and forced himself out of the chair, and out of the hospital.

If you only knew, Maka. She was hanging onto a thread of life, one that made the foundation of his, his web that he had spun around her. If the thread snapped, and Maka was lost, he had no idea what he would do. He clutched his chest as he walked down the street, the cold air biting his exposed skin, turning his face red. I wish I could help her, somehow. I'd die for her, if I could. It would be better than her dying...

The moon cackled overhead, infuriating him. Why was it always laughing? He looked up at it, and his heart almost stopped. The amount of red coming from the moon's mouth had more than doubled. Based on his experience, that meant nothing good.

He inhaled, held his breath, and exhaled slowly. Panicking wasn't going to help him. He finally reached home, and upon opening the door, found Liz and Patti sitting the couch, awake and worried as well. They looked at him with wide eyes, asking for news without saying a word.

"She's...alive." He really didn't know what to tell them. She was critical, not stable, and the doctors had told him her chances of living were 'slim'. It wasn't looking like a good situation. He shook his head, and headed upstairs. Once in his room he stepped into his closet, digging through a few old things until he found a light yellow box. Kid took it down, and opened it. Inside were envelopes and letters, folded pieces of paper and postcards. He rubbed his eyes, trying to hold back the sting under his lids that signaled that he was going to cry. No, Maka wouldn't want that. He sighed, biting the inside of his lip and slowly took the paper out of his box, one piece at a time, looking and reading over every one. They were letters that Maka had sent to him over the past few years when they had to be apart for whatever reason. Every single one ended in,

"I love you, Maka A."

Kid sighed, and put the box's lid back in place. Standing up, he returned to his room and not bothering to undress, he fell onto his bed, sighing heavily and curling up. He closed his eyes, but never fell sleep. He finally looked at his alarm to check what time it was.

4:03 a.m.

He sighed, and sprawled out. But he still couldn't sleep, tossing and turning all night. It was lonely, without Maka there with him. Nowadays, he never spent much time at home. But when he did, Maka was there in bed with him. But now she was gone, and though he had slept alone before in other places, here felt absolutely empty. It felt like drowning, the loneliness he was feeling.

I still believe in you, Maka. If you only knew just how much... Finally, after hours of sleeplessness, exhaustion finally caught up with him, and he fell sleep.

Kid woke up the next morning, and immediately left for the hospital. He didn't even bother to change clothes, let alone make sure he was dressed symmetrically. He sat in the waiting room again, as he had done the day before, and planned to do tomorrow, if need be. While he sat there, he had nothing to do but worry and think.

It made him remember when he and Maka had first met, how they'd become part of the same group at the Academy, the missions they went on, the fights, the hardships. Kid winced inwardly, remembering every stupid thing he had said to her, every word that went wrong, he could count them all.

The scariest thing he could remember, though, was when Maka had been under the influence of the Black Blood. She was so far gone in the madness, it was terrifying. But he hadn't given up on her. And now, as she lay in a bed, fighting for her life, he still wasn't going to give up on her. This was far more frightening than any black blood, as far as he was concerned.

Along with all of the memories that scared him, and worried him, there were wonderful ones, too. The nights that he and Maka had together, when the rare day came that they were both in Death City. Since he became a Reaper to replace his father, he was seldom in town. She was usually on a mission, though not as often as he, so nights they could share were scarce and he could count them on his fingers. He treasured every one, and could remember ever detail, every sound, every touch, every kiss.

He smiled a little as he thought about it. Maka would be so embarrassed if she knew I remembered like that.

He remembered every letter he sent in reply to Maka's as he spend weeks, or even months away from her. Throwing away countless copies when the ink smudged or a letter was pissing him off. He wouldn't sleep until it was finished, and he could send it first thing in the morning.

"Kid," A doctor was leaning around the wall, holding a clipboard, "She's stable enough to have visitors now, if you want to see her."

Kid had never gotten out of a chair so fast in his life as that moment, and practically stepped on the heels of the doctor who led him to the miester's room. He walked with all the speed of a half-eaten snail, and it was driving him insane.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity of walking, he was shown the room. He reached for the handle, but stopped midway. Did he really want to go in? To see Maka in that condition? Did she want him to see her like that, lying in a hospital bed?

He shook his head, and twisted the handle. She can get over it, I want to be there for her.

And so, he stepped into the stuffy place, wrinkling his nose at the sterile smell and look of the room. He hated hospitals, but he'd suck it up to see Maka.

It may be the last time... Instantly, he was horrified with himself for even thinking about thinking that horrible thought. No, Maka was going to live. He was absolutely sure of that. He could see her soul, and though it was dim, it was there. It was a beautiful soul, an indistinguishable shade of blue to anyone else, but the most wonderful shade of sky blue to him, that outshone all the others, making them dull and drab in comparison.

He say by her bed, pulling a chair up next to it, and resting a hand on hers. It was painful to see, tape wrapped around her arm, her hair held up in a plastic hat, and tubes everywhere. But she was still beautiful, and it if kept her alive, Kid was fine with all of it.

He just wished he could see her eyes again. The deepest shade of a wonderful green, like a vivid leaf in the heart of summer.

He leaned over her, whispering in her ear, "I still hold on to the letters, Maka. You helped me live life, and I'll always believe in you for that."

He sighed, and closed his eyes, resting his lips on her soft palm, which felt dangerously cold. But he didn't see the slightest of smiles flash across Maka's face after he spoke.

If you only knew, Kid.

A/N: So, this is my deal. I've got four songs lines up right now (actually only three now, since I used this one.) that I'm planning on turning into a KiMa one-shot, which will all be posted as different chapters of one story. None of them have any relevance to each other; they're all the start of a new story. So trying to find any sort of connections or plot will confuse the hell out of you.

The title of the chapter will be the name of the song, and I'll include the artist at the bottom in the Author's Note.

If you know a song you think fits, post it as a review, PM me, e-mail it, whatever. If I like it, and I'm inspired by it, I'll use it. Because three songs won't last me long.

This song was: If You Only Knew, by Shinedown.

Sorry if it seems a bit cheesy, I was trying to fit in lines from the song without following the lyrics word-for-word.