My dearest diary,

After everything, all the fights, the arguments and even the pain. I still love her, I still need her. Without her, what I am? Lost? Because that's what it feels like. Like the whole world has turned on me, but no matter what I just want to be in the middle of the firing line. I was always there for her, even when her darkest shade beamed through, but she, the devil of herself, came through. She, my favourite being became my enemy, my worst nightmare. But what am I to do? She is all I dream about, that she is Regina Mills, the ruler of my heart.

I, Emma Swan, am writing this today, because I need closure. I need to find out why she, of all my pain has struck on me, her saviour. We had it all, the bravest of power, the strongest of bonds, and the purest of hearts. How could she ever betray me? Something I live to wonder. It all happened so fast, what am I to do? I need her precious love.

The love of my life, Regina was, and still is. It's time I stand up for us, I need to make her love me again, so we can go back to being a happy married couple. It was a month ago now, we were just in Granny's diner, enjoying our romantic dinner to celebrate our first year as a married couple, and everything was running smoothly, Henry was at my mom's, helping them with my brother Neal. Everything was just too perfect, we kissed a lot, confessed our love a lot. We were ready, Regina had always talked about how she wanted to have a child of her own blood, it was something she wanted, and it was her mother's last wish. She we decided it was something we could honour, our home was big enough and Henry was old enough to help look after a new arrival.

Regina had had the curse she put on herself lifted by Rumpelstiltskin, so now she was able to have a child, the gift she had always dreamed about. We wouldn't even struggle to get a donor either, my ex-fiancé had offered to donate. (I'm so glad we left on good terms, me and Hook that is.) Regina could have her dream, a child. We could be one big family. A family strongly infused with love and hope, a life I could only dream of.

But everything changed, she changed. A week passed and she was so cold, so distant, our sex life was dead, just like her love for me. But I stayed, I still cared. She spent so much time away I wondered what I could have done to make her leave, but it was all just a shade a black, my heart was torn, and my body was stuck. Stuck in hole and nobody could hear me scream, I wanted to talk to my parents about it, but then I didn't want to worry them with my problems. I needed to fix this on my own.

A week later she had gone completely, like she was never there. Everyone noticed her absence, it was there I came clean and told the town she left me. But nobody knew where she was, or what happened, that was a long week without her. But she came back, she seemed normal she kissed me, pretended to love me. But I could feel the distance, the separation was nearer. I just wanted to hold her, kiss her and run my hands through her raven hair. But the pain of silence was too much. I had to know what made her change.

She told me that nothing was wrong, she was just worried, worried about what, I don't know. At least she spoke. We went to bed, but when I woke up, she was gone. She left a note. It said.

-Emma, it is over. You and I. I don't love you, I never did. I am where I belong now. Please don't bother finding me. I don't want to be near you, my power is stronger without you. Now I can finally be the person I was born to be. The Evil Queen. Thanks for showing me how strong I am without you.-

My heart was broken, what did she even mean?

It wasn't till I awoke the next day to find that out, she'd had a whole second life while she was with me. It turns out her love for me was just a disguise. She already had a daughter, and another person by her side. Even through the years she was the hero, it was all a lie. Her daughter, who she had before this curse had was even cast. With her former lover, Daniel. She was here, she had the power of her whole family by her side. It tore me apart, I missed her, her love felt real. I didn't know what to do. I knew she loved me, she showed me it, and her words could never fool me.

So now, today, the day of all days. Valentine's day. I'm going to make her realise that she loves me, I am no lie. She belongs with me. So here we go, it's time to go grab my sword, and use my truest weapon, the power of love. I need to save my Queen.