"I love you," Sebastian breathes, kissing Kurt lightly, trailing his fingers over his jaw line and his collarbone, his eyes trailing down Kurt's body.
"I love you," Kurt murmurs, moving to press his lips against Sebastian's again.
They lay together in Sebastian's bedroom, staring up at the ceiling, sharing kisses and whispering, pretending that they don't know about the boys that are sitting in their own rooms, wondering why Kurt didn't choose them, why Kurt couldn't love them.
Puck sits on the floor of his room, his hands in fists over his eyes, trying to stop the tears from flowing down his face. He thinks about Sebastian and Kurt, sitting in the choir room, in the cafeteria, sharing light kisses and smiles, and it hurts.
"It's not fucking fair," Puck whispers to himself, bringing his face up away from his hands, staring up at the ceiling, the tears leaving steady trails down his face. "Why couldn't it be me?"
"Puck, look, I'm sorry," Kurt says, walking up behind Puck where he stands, his hands pressed against the sink, shaking his head to stop the moisture gathering in his eyes.
"I wish I could love you, I really do," Kurt says. "But I can't, Puck, I just can't. You've seen the strings yourself; you know what they mean, to the world, to everyone, to me."
"Why couldn't I get a fucking red string intertwining our wrists?" Puck whispers, looking up in the mirror to stare at Kurt, who had tears rolling down his own face.
"I don't know," Kurt says. "You'll find someone, Puck, I promise. You'll get your string. You don't really love me."
"How do you know what I feel and what I don't?" Puck screams. He watches Kurt flinch, before shake his head.
"I promise you, Puck," he says again. "You'll find someone. I don't want to lose you."
"Well, that's sad, isn't it," Puck says, giving Kurt a sarcastic smile. "Because now you'll know what it feels like to lose someone." With that, Puck pushes past him out of the swinging bathroom door, leaving Kurt to wrap his arms around himself and wait for the tears to stop.
Puck sits alone in his room for hours, replaying memories in his head. He remembers bullying Kurt, tossing him in dumpsters. He remembers his indifference towards him, sitting far away in the choir room, making faces, or laughing as he saw him stare up at Finn. He remembers the feeling of a slow ache of desire building up in him slowly, when he watched Kurt sing, his range moving lower and higher as time passed, his dancing making Puck ache to wrap his arms around his waist, to kiss down his neck, to his collarbone, and lower, and lower.
It's four hours later when Puck drags himself out of his room, to the bathroom, turning the shower on, and standing under the burning water, washing his tear-stained face and waiting for relief. The water cascades down his back, and he wills himself let it go, let the love, the care, the absolute desire he felt for Kurt go.
Ten minutes later, after Puck had turned off the water and wrapped a towel around his waist, he looks at himself in the mirror, squinting past the fogged up glass. He rubs at the mirror, and sees himself clearly. Puck can see the sadness, the despair, and he can see the love he feels for Kurt.
He can see himself, someday, far away, letting go.
Blaine lets out a whimper as he feels a fresh wave of sadness wash over him, and shakes his head, trying to stop it. He looks at the sky above him, shifting slightly, running his hands across the slanted roof's ridges, where he sits just outside his window, making sure his feet are still planted securely. He puts his arms around his bent knees. He lets his head fall forward to press his forehead against his jean-clad knees.
Blaine was never one for crying, or for letting deep emotion show, but he felt himself shudder at the thoughts of losing Kurt, or never even truly having Kurt.
Kurt traces his hand along the side of Blaine's face, cupping his cheek and looking into his eyes.
"You know that I love you," Kurt murmurs.
Blaine feels himself lean into Kurt's touch, closing his eyes. "I know," Blaine whispers, his voice cracking.
"I'm sorry," Kurt says. "I do love you. But I...and Sebastian, I just-"
"I know," Blaine says again, opening his eyes to look back at Kurt. "I understand."
"You saw the strings," Kurt says. "You know why."
"I do," Blaine simply replies, moving away from Kurt's touch and wrapping his arms around his waist, holding himself together.
"I'm sorry," Kurt says again.
"I love you," Blaine says.
"Oh honey, I know," Kurt says, the pain transparent in his voice. He leans forward to press a kiss to Blaine's forehead, closing his eyes and lingering there before moving away. With one last look at Blaine, he walks away.
Blaine looks down at the packet of cigarettes he had placed near him, picking it up and twirling it slowly in his fingertips. He remembers the days before Dalton, the boxing, the anger. He remembers going through a packet a day, smoking away the pain.
Blaine stares at the packet for a little longer, before flinging it across the roof, watching it land on the other side. He leans back, letting his head fall back against the roof, and stares up at the slowly darkening sky.
He will get through this, he decides. He'll get through this.
It's been three days, and Kurt braces himself as he walks down the hallway, his hand in Sebastian's, making his way to the choir room. He looks down at the floor as they make their way into the choir room, taking their seats on either side of Rachel. Puck and Blaine sit at the back of the room, and Puck finds himself staring at Kurt's back, willing himself to look away. He looks over at Blaine who is doing the same thing, and when Blaine looks up, Puck gives him a slow, sad smile, recognition passing across his face. Blaine smiles back shakily, coughing and brushing at his eyes before looking at the board, watching Mr. Schuester walk in.
For the rest of the class, Puck and Blaine work slowly towards moving on, and Kurt works towards letting the pain go. And when it's time for them to pair up, Puck walks over towards Blaine, and together they watch Sebastian and Kurt walk together to one side of the room, giggling. Sebastian gives a sweeping look across the choir room to make sure no one is looking before moving in to press a kiss to Kurt's lips, tugging at the other boy's lower lip before letting go and moving his lips against the others. They part seconds later, a blush forming across Kurt's cheeks.
Puck and Blaine slowly look away, and sigh before telling themselves again to let go. They would be okay, it would take some time, but it would happen.
Watching Sebastian and Kurt's string curl and twine between them, Puck and Blaine never noticed the one that was forming between their two wrists, coiling from one's right hand to the others, slowly but surely helping them to one day, forget all of their pain.