Humor One Shot- Hidan and Kakuzu's day at the Park
For humor and amusement, enjoy!
Hidan and Kakuzu were walking in a park. Hidan looked at all the birds and sheepishly said, "Hey Kuzu'!" The tall and tan man with pupil-less jade colored eyes looked at the pale guy with purple eyes and silver hair. He grunted, "What the fuck do you want?"
Hidan gave the man a glare and retorted, "Geez, old man! You don't have to be so fucking grouchy all the time!" Hidan folded his arms behind his head and they kept on walking through the park and enjoying the sunny and peaceful day.
Soon they came across an old lady feeding birds some seeds. "Haha! Look at that old bitch feeding those stupid birds seeds." Hidan pointed at the birds and walked closer to them. "Hey fucking birds!" he chimed. The birds kept on picking at the seeds and one bird flew next to Hidan and tilted it's head to the side looking at him with it's eyes. "Look at you fucking bitches eating shit off of the ground, Ha! I get to eat real food while you eat fucking seeds!" he teased. Kakuzu rolled his eyes and took a seat on the bench next to the old lady. Him and the old lady exchanged glances and she murmured in a hushed voice to Kakuzu, 'The weird boy with the foul-mouth really isn't that bright is he?" Hidan glared and jabbed a finger at the old lady yelling, "You old bitch! I am bright and I am also smart!"
Kakuzu nodded his head to the old lady and fed the birds with her. Hidan glared and fumed, "You stupid shitty jashin-damn birds!" He tried to kick one of the birds but the bird hopped away to a close by spot with more seeds and Hidan kicked the air and fell on his face. "Grrrr!" he growled as he ran over to a spot with alot of birds. "You stupid pea-brain shits!" he yelled as he tried to hit the birds. The birds hopped closer to Hidan and one large bird... an Eagle to be exact came down from the sky and clawed Hidan's back. Hidan glared and shouted, "You fucking bird! Prepare to meet Jashin!" The bird flew up higer in the sky and spoke, "Bird Minions! ATTACK!" All of the birds came out of nowhere and attack Hidan. The eagle came, a dozen of hawks came, blue-jades came, orioles, came, pigions pooped on Hidan and came, all of the birds came. Every bird popped, clawed, pecked and attacked Hidan. For the rest of the day, he got clawed at, hit, pecked, pooped on, by birds. Kakuzu and the old lady watched exchanging chuckles.
*Later On*
"Did you learn your lesson?" Sasori asked as he healed Hidan and Kakuzu stitched Hidan back together.
Hidan thought for a moment as his head got stitched back on, 'Nope! Just watch tomorrow, you damn birds! I'll get my revenge! I'll fucking kill you all!" Kakuzu rolled his eyes and Sasori sighed. Just then the door to the medical room busted open and Tobi came in happily chiming, "OOOOH! Look at Tobi's new pet!" On his arm, rested a black and 5 lb. crow that had large claws. Hidan glared as the crow and Hidan exchanged glares. Hidan yelled, "Prepare to meet your fucking maker!" as he tried to move but the crow yelled, "Crrraaaaaaaaa!" and flew off of Tobi's arm and pooped on Hidan and clawed at his eyes. The poop landed in his mouth and he grimaced. "Stupid FUCKING BIRD!"
Lesson Learned: DO NOT PLAY OR MESS WITH BIRDS! THEY WILL FUCKING GO FOR WORLD DOMINATION!
Fin.