Chapter 1

Harry Pothead and the Sorcerer's Stoned

One night Albus fuck me in the butt Dumbledore was walking down the street and he got a nasty idea and pulled down his pants and went to the nearest window to show them the goods. After the lady living there had a heart attack he walked away with his trousers still off to go see McGonnigiggle. When he came to Harrys new house he pulled out his sperm collector, which looked a lot like a lighter, and collected his favorite meal. When he collected dem sperms they didn't go into his lighter they went straight to his mouth so he wouldn't go hungry. Once he had all he could eat he shoved the rest in his butt for later.

The sound of cats mating caught his attention.

"McGonnagiggle!~ COME OUT YOU WHORE!" he called.

McGonnagiggle came out from behind the dumpster with her mate on top of her. Albus FMITB Dumbledore could never pass up a chance to fuck! Not even with cats he decided after he got a few moves in there. Hagrid came on all of them so hard the other cat died and McGonnagiggle turned back into her human form, and Albus FMITBD gained twenty pounds from all the giant sperms in his mouth.

"Where is Harry!" asked Dumbledore gaily, as Hagrid pulled Harry out of his massive butthole.

"In my anus!" said Hagrid in a down-syndrome-way.

"We'll leave him here untill his dick grows to proper size!" McGonnagiggle said.

"O NO MY BATT FAWK BUDDIE~~~~~GONE 4 EV !" Hagrid cried.

"ALBUTT, I'm not so sure about this place, THEY DON'T FUCK MAGICALLY LYK USS!" said McGonnagiggle while Hagrid was crying over the loss of Harry's babydick. Dumbledore decided to have a babydick party and circumcise Harry.

MUCH MUCH LATER...

"SNIP SNIP! HARRY STOP CRYING UR 4SKINS ALMOST AWFF!11~" screamed Hagrid as his dick melted off and fell on the floor. Suddenly, Harry's 4skin hit the floor and Hagrid made a winter coat out of it while Harry went to live ten years of being fucked in the ass by the Derpys.

~10 YEARS LATA~

Harry woke up with his cousin's dick up his ass again.

"Hurry up buttfuck!" Aunt petunia called to Harry, "Nice work Doody" she says as Doody rips Harry's ass in two and Vernon glues it back together.

That day they go to the zoo and Doody's penis gets eaten by a giant snake, and Harry got into a buttfuckin' school.

~MEANWHILE AT HOGTITS~

EVERYONE GETS GONORRHEA AND SPEWS ALL OVER HARRY AND RON. DA END! for now...