Warnings: Implied sexual abuse and an off-screen (off-page?) suicide attempt
Ty Lee can always tell when Mai knows something she is not supposed to. Her brows knit together like she is trying to work out a difficult puzzle, and then they relax, and she gets this satisfied smirk like she is utterly superior to everyone else in the room. It used to drive Ty Lee crazy when they were younger, but now she merely finds it amusing. Mai has always been good at reading people—just as good as Azula—but she rarely lets it show. Sometimes Ty Lee wonders if her knack for working out secrets and then just sitting on them is one of the reasons Azula chose her when they were children.
Ty Lee is not sure what prompted Azula to choose her, but she is positive it was not her pleasant demeanor. Perhaps Azula thought she would be easy to control. Perhaps she thought it would be easy to instill unwavering loyalty in her. Ty Lee will never tell Azula this, but she has never had unwavering loyalty towards anyone or anything, not the Fire Nation, not even her family. In fact, she'd left both when she joined the circus, not a backward look. Loyalty ties a person down. Ty Lee does not like to feel tied.
Loyalty did not bring Ty Lee and Azula back together, intimidation did, though it occurs to Ty Lee that she needn't stay. Azula sleeps, just like any other human being, and it would be only too easy to sneak away. The problem is that, in sleep, Azula actually looks human, and Ty Lee cannot leave her when she is at her most vulnerable. Besides, she has missed the company of her two best friends, and the work is growing on her. She kind of hates the idea of Azula and Mai traveling the world without her, anyway.
"What are you staring at?"
Mai always sounds more emotive when she is tired. If nothing else, it is this that convinces Ty Lee that apathy is not her natural state, no matter how much Mai tries to persuade her otherwise.
Ty Lee looks over her shoulder. Mai is on her side, facing her, nearly touching her in the tiny tent. She rolls over to face her friend. "I didn't know you were still awake."
"I wasn't," Mai replies. "I just woke up." Her eyes flit to something over Ty Lee's shoulder. "Why were you staring at Azula like that?" She cocks her eyebrow. "Do you always do that after we go to sleep?"
"No," Ty Lee answers defiantly, and a little louder than she intended. She looks behind her to make sure Azula's back is still rising and falling with the steady rhythm of sleep before she continues. "She just looks so…"
"Evil?" Mai supplies with a smirk. "Conniving?"
"Innocent."
"Oh," Mai furrows her brow in surprise. "That's… difficult to imagine."
"That's why it's so amazing," Ty Lee answers. She hesitates and bites her lip, glances toward her feet. "Mai, have you ever been in love?"
Mai gets that look on her face, the one Ty Lee dreads when it is directed at her, the pinched eyebrows, the narrowed eyes, the concentration. "That's an odd question," she replies slowly. "Considering you're easily the most experienced of the three of us."
Ty Lee folds her arms. "But there's a difference between love and…"
"Between love and sex?" Mai finishes. Her eyes flit to the spot over Ty Lee's shoulder once more. "Yes, I suppose there is." She sighs. "No, I've never been in love."
"Really?" Ty Lee does not know why, but she feels disappointed. "I thought maybe Zuko—"
"We were children," Mai interrupts. Her voice is measured, carefully level, but her eyes seem to darken.
"I think that I'm in love with him."
The beach is empty except for the two of them. Azula had returned from the porch, her eyes downcast and her face redder than Ty Lee had ever seen it, and muttered something about going to fetch Zuko, and Ty Lee and Mai had left the party shortly afterwards.
"Who?" Ty Lee asks, looking up at her friend, her eyes growing wide. "Ruon-Jian? That was sure quick."
"Ew, no." Mai rolls her eyes. "Not Ruon-Jian." She leans closer to Ty Lee and lowers her voice. "Zuko."
"Why are you whispering?" Ty Lee asks with a giggle. "There's no one else out here."
Mai shrugs. "I don't want my voice to carry."
"This is so exciting!" Ty Lee squeals, completely defeating the purpose of Mai's lowered voice, she realizes. "You and Zuko! But, wait, then why did you break up with him?"
Mai sighs, dramatic and longsuffering. It had taken her years to perfect that sigh. Ty Lee remembers when she used to practice it in the washroom back at the Royal Fire Academy. "He just makes me so angry sometimes." She clenches her fists in a rare display of fury. "He can be such a drama queen. Why does he always have to cause a scene?"
"I think it must run in the family," Ty Lee answers, glancing toward the Royal Family's old beach house, from which she can just make out two figures emerging.
"I hoped all those years in exile would instill some humility in him," Mai continues.
Ty Lee touches her friend's arm. "You know that they have. But they've also instilled a sense of his problems being worse than everyone else's."
"Well," Mai chuckles, "Maybe he's right about that."
Ty Lee scans the beach until she sees Zuko approaching them, Azula at his side. Her eyes linger on the Princess. Her face is like stone. She is wearing the expression she always used to wear as a child, when she had fallen out of a tree in the garden and was trying not to cry. "I don't think so," she answers softly.
Long, red scratches mar the Princess' back. Ty Lee remembers bruises like fingerprints, burns like smudges, but never scratches. "Azula, what are those from?" she asks before she can stop herself. She is only getting used to being around the Princess again. It has only been a night. No one at the circus ever cared what she asked them.
"Nothing," Azula replies shortly, pulling her shirt over her head and covering the angry red lines. Her elbow catches the fabric of the tent and the whole structure shudders. "It was a training accident."
Ty Lee finds herself entirely unsurprised. That has always been Azula's excuse for the suspicious marks that showed up on her skin, no matter how implausible the story actually was. Ty Lee wasn't sure how Azula would have gotten a burn in the shape of a hand much larger than her own during training, or a bruise that looked suspiciously like it was left by a mouth on her neck, which Mai had begun to tease her about until she caught the deadly look on the Princess' face.
And then Mai had gotten that expression she always got when she was working something out, and when her face had relaxed Ty Lee had seen actual concern in her eyes. "I don't think we should ask Azula about her injuries anymore," Mai had told her later. She had sounded so afraid.
"But, Mai," Ty Lee had protested. "Don't you care how she hurt herself?"
"I don't think she's doing it to herself," Mai had answered. "But there's nothing we can do about it. Unless you have a plan to assassinate the Fire Lord. Have you been holding out on me, Ty Lee?"
"No." Ty Lee had shaken her head and lowered her eyes. That was when they had started training as fighters. They had been twelve.
"They're so red," Ty Lee presses, watching Azula's back as she toys with the buckles on her armor. "Do they hurt?"
"I am fine, Ty Lee," Azula replies severely, and she knows she is supposed to leave it alone.
"I can go get a wet rag," she offers anyway. "It'll help with the pain. I used to do it all the time when I—"
"We have to go," Azula interrupts. "If we are to be in Omashu by sundown."
"Okay, Azula," Ty Lee answers quietly. But that night, when they are settled comfortably in the governor's spare bedrooms, Azula lays with her face buried in a pillow and allows Ty Lee to peel her shirt up past her shoulders and press a damp cloth to her scratches, hissing every time it makes contract with the raw skin.
"Azula, hold still."
They are crammed into the tent that Ty Lee has learned to call home. Azula is kneeling in front of Ty Lee, her eyes closed, her expression calm, as the other girl paints her face with the white and red and black of the Kyoshi Warriors, tongue poking through her lips in concentration. A few feet away, Mai struggles to paint her own face using one of her stilettos as a mirror. Ty Lee had applied her own makeup in about a minute flat.
"Then stop taking so long," Azula commands.
"The more you move, the longer it's going to take," Ty Lee explains patiently.
The Princess groans. "It's never taken you this long to apply my makeup before," she complains.
"Well, you've never worn full face paint before."
"She's trying to help you, Azula," Mai adds, sounding slightly annoyed, but no more than usual, really. "Just let her do her thing."
Azula huffs and folds her arms across her chest, but she does not say anything else. Ty Lee dips her brush back into the red paint and runs it over Azula's eyelid.
"Ugh," Mai mutters in disgust. "This makes my nose look so long."
"I don't think it does any of us any favors," Ty Lee replies. "Except for you, of course, Azula. You always look beautiful."
Mai rolls her eyes. "I look like a hawk."
"I'm sorry," Azula answers without opening her eyes. "Is that somehow different from how you usually look?"
Ty Lee slaps her lightly on the shoulder. "Hold still!"
"Careful, Azula." Mai sounds quite unaffected by the remark, by Ty Lee suspects that, as is so often the case with Mai, there is a storm brewing just below the surface. "You're going to be out of luck if she refuses to keep doing your hair and makeup every morning?"
"That's why I'm not insulting her," Azula replies through clenched teeth.
"Almost done with the red," Ty Lee announces cheerfully, hoping to break the tension between her friends. Always the peacekeeper. "Just one color left."
"It's about time," Azula mutters. Ty Lee fixes her with a reproachful gaze, though Azula cannot see it through her eyelids. Mai sighs and turns back to her paintbrush and her stiletto.
Mai and Ty Lee are supposed to be sparring. That is what Azula asked them to do before she left to practice her forms in solitude. Mai had tossed a couple of her stilettos half-heartedly at a tree trunk while Ty Lee had balanced for a while on her left hand, and they had called it a day. There are only so many times two people can fight each other before they can practically read the other's mind, and then it just isn't fun anymore.
"Why do you let her walk all over you?"
They are back in the cramped little tent, Mai lying on her back using one of her knives to carve a face in a piece of fruit. Ty Lee wishes she could decorate it, make a mobile out of wildflowers, maybe, but they pack up and move every day, so there would be no point. All this time in what feels like a musty old potato sack is sapping Ty Lee's aura, but at least it is starting to feel like a home.
"Who?" She decides to play dumb, even though she knows Mai will see straight through it. She catches her friend's expression every time she complies with one of Azula's commands, no matter how pointless or degrading. She has known this question was coming for weeks.
"Don't act like you don't know, Ty Lee," Mai answers. "We both know you're not as stupid as you pretend to be."
"What's the harm in it?" Ty Lee shrugs.
"Well, for one thing, you're stroking her ego," Mai replies. "Goodness knows she doesn't need any more of that."
"You were the one who said we should try to show her that we care about her," Ty Lee points out. "Remember? Because she doesn't get that from anyone else?"
Mai sighs. "I know, Ty, but you're not showing her you care. You're acting like you're afraid of her."
"Is there really a difference with Azula?"
Mai sits up. "I think there is. Ty Lee, when you care about someone, you have to say no sometimes, even when it's hard."
"Why?" Ty Lee meets her friend's eyes. Mai's expression is neutral as always, but there is a strange ferocity there.
"Because what Azula wants isn't always what's best for her." She lays back down and heaves another sigh. "I would stop her from going back to the Fire Nation after all this is over if I could, with what's waiting for her back there, but I don't think that will even be possible, especially if she thinks she has a chance at the throne."
Ty Lee's eyes widen. "She'll go back to Ozai just for the throne? She's never even talked about wanting to be Fire Lord."
"I think she will," Mai answers solemnly. "You know how much she likes holding power over others."
Ty Lee studies the floor of the tent. "I don't think that's what's best for her either," she replies softly.
"I agree."
Ty Lee shrugs. "Maybe Zuko will come back, though. And then we won't have to worry about it anymore."
Mai laughs and it comes out harsh, almost biting. "Do you really think Zuko would ever be allowed to inherit the throne? He would have to be the last heir left."
"But I thought you liked Zuko."
"I do," Mai answers with a shrug that is supposed to convey indifference, but is not quite as convincing as she would probably like it to be. "I did. But the Fire Lord doesn't."
"But maybe if he captures the Avatar—"
"Ty Lee, half the Fire Nation's military is after the Avatar," Mai replies. "If you really think Zuko is going to get there first…"
Ty Lee sighs patiently. "You're just trying not to get your hopes up."
Mai rolls onto her side so that she is facing away from Ty Lee. "So what if I am?"
"Then you're missing out," Ty Lee answers. She reaches across the tent for her friend's arm. "Come on."
"Where are we going?" Mai groans without moving.
"I'm going to teach you how to dance."
"Why?"
Ty Lee rolls her eyes, because it's really obvious, isn't it? "Because I'm bored. And because you'll need to know when you marry the Fire Lord."
"I am not marrying Azula," Mai answers flatly.
Ty Lee continues to tug on her arm. "You know what I meant. Mai, please?"
"How do you even know how to dance?" Mai asks. "It's illegal."
"Hello? I spent a year with a circus in the Earth Kingdom." Ty Lee shakes her head. "Come on, Mai. Live a little. Consider it a rebellion against your parents." She raises her eyebrows pointedly. "How would they feel if they knew you were learning how to dance?"
Mai heaves an exasperated sigh. "Fine," she grumbles as she reluctantly gets to her feet. "But just because I'm really bored."
"Yay!" Ty Lee squeals. She grabs her friend's wrist and pulls a little too quickly. Mai stumbles forward and into the side of the tent, bringing it down on top of them.
"It's a sign," Mai comments, an odd mixture of resignation and relief in her voice, as Ty Lee struggles to free herself from the mess of canvas. "I'm never dancing again."
"You never even danced in the first place," Ty Lee complains.
Mai's head emerges from the bunch of material. "It doesn't matter. If we don't have the tent back up by the time Azula gets back, we're going to be sleeping outside. My wedding dance can wait."
Doing time in the Boiling Rock is the hardest thing Ty Lee has ever done. There is no doubt about that. She lives in a cell that is slowly sapping the pink right out of her aura, even more than that old tent, and leaving it a sickening muddy brown. She and Mai only see each other in the courtyard for an hour a day, although, sometimes they are able to whisper back and forth other when they are scrubbing the floors. Mai is never mistreated, because the guards are afraid of her uncle, even though, in reality, Ty Lee doubts very much that Mai's uncle, or anyone in her family, for that matter, wants anything to do with her right now, but it is the only card in Mai's hand, and Ty Lee does not blame her at all for playing it. No one has ever been shy about tossing Ty Lee around. There is a large, purple bruise forming on her lower back from hitting the bed frame after being thrown into her cell. It leaves her stiff, which Ty Lee cannot remember ever being, and it sends a sharp pain up her spine every time her braid bumps against it.
"Are you okay?" Mai asks, looking up as Ty Lee approaches her in the courtyard. The pins that she used in her hair were confiscated after their arrest, and she now wears it in a simple ponytail that somehow seems to take years off her age.
"Fine," Ty Lee shrugs as she carefully lowers herself to the ground with a wince.
Mai narrows her eyes. "You don't look fine." She gets that look on her face. Ty Lee has not seen it since they were imprisoned. "Did someone do something to you? Just tell me who he is, and I swear I'll kill hi—"
"No, no!" Ty Lee assures her. "It's nothing like that. I just… fell." Mai's expression does not change "Well… I was kind of thrown."
Mai makes a noise of disgust and looks away. "You'd think they'd be a little more afraid of us," she comments. "I mean, Azula did hand-pick us as her assassins."
"But then we betrayed her," Ty Lee adds. "And the Fire Nation. They probably hate us. They probably think we're scummier than scum."
Mai shakes her head. "I'm sorry you got pulled into this, Ty. It should have stayed between me and Azula."
"Hey," Ty Lee places a hand on her friend's shoulder. "I couldn't stand there and watch her kill you. Just like you couldn't stand by and watch Zuko die."
"I thought I was going to marry him." Mai speaks so quietly that Ty Lee nearly misses it. "I should have known it was too good to be true."
"You still could," Ty Lee replies, even though the pain in her back and the brown in her aura are making it awfully difficult to be optimistic.
Mai laughs, and it rings with even more bitterness than usual. "If you think we're ever getting out of here, you're delusional."
"I don't know." Ty Lee shrugs. "Zuko could win the war. He has the Avatar on his side."
"The Avatar is a child," Mai sneers. "Even if they do manage to take down Azula, they'll never be a match for the Fire Lord. Don't get your hopes up, Ty. We're going to die in here."
She is running her fingers over her wrist, a look of contemplation on her face, and it makes Ty Lee extremely uneasy. She reaches toward her friend's wrist, closes her arm around it. "You know, you're the only thing that makes this bearable, right?"
Mai meets her eyes, studies her face, and Ty Lee silently pleads with her. "Yeah, I know," she finally replies. She wraps Ty Lee in a hug that takes her entirely by surprise, because the last thing Mai is is a hugger. She is no more cuddly than Azula ever was. "You know you're my best friend, right?"
"Please don't—" Ty Lee breaks off as her voice cracks and a tear slides down her cheek. She winds her arms around Mai's body and squeezes as if she never intends to let go. "I would be lost in here without you."
"I didn't intend to live," Mai admits, and Ty Lee thinks there are tears in her voice. "I thought she was going to kill me."
"I wasn't sure I was going to live either," Ty Lee replies without pulling away. "But I had to give you a chance, and here we are, and we're in this together. Don't… don't you dare walk out on me. Promise."
"I promise," Mai sighs, but Ty Lee is not sure she believes her.
"I'm so glad you're coming with us!"
Mai does not jump at the sudden intrusion. She has never experienced real privacy. There have always been servants, and now that Ty Lee is back, she was sort of expecting it anyway. Ty Lee does not know the meaning of knocking. It has gotten her into trouble at the palace more than once.
"What are you doing here?" Mai asks without turning around. She pulls a garment from her closet and studies it before tossing it to the side.
"I'm here to help you pack, of course," Ty Lee answers, skipping across the room to join her friend in front of the closet. "I like that one. You should bring it with you."
"What will I need with a ceremonial dress in… wherever it is we're going?" she replies, as she tosses another dress aside.
"You might need to attend a ball," Ty Lee shrugs. "Or impress a," she waggles her eyebrows in a way she hopes is suggestive and not just stupid, "gentleman caller."
Mai sighs. "I'm not bringing anything fancy. I don't have room. And, frankly, I never want to see any of it again."
Ty Lee falls dramatically backwards onto the bed. "Suit yourself. Party pooper."
Mai is the kind of friend who, had Ty Lee met her when they were older, probably would not be a friend at all. They have absolutely nothing in common, other than superior combat skills of course. They started out as friends of convenience, because Azula chose them both, and that required the two of them to spend a lot of time together trying to entertain her, a task that Ty Lee was always more interested and more adept in than Mai. Nonetheless, Azula kept them both around, and Mai is Ty Lee's best friend now. Her very best. Not that Azula will ever know that.
Mai looks over her shoulder at her and raises an eyebrow. "Are you telling me you brought a dress for every occasion?"
"Well… no," Ty Lee falters. "But only because I didn't have any with me in the circus."
"You had a skirt, if I heard Azula correctly." She turns back to her closet, and resumes dropping almost everything in it onto the floor. It pains Ty Lee. Most of Mai's clothes are so nice, and she never wears them. Always the same boring maroon jumpsuits. At least they look like dresses if she stands a certain way.
"Fine, fine," Ty Lee sighs with a wave of her hand. "Don't bring anything nice. See if I care. But when we find Zuko out there, you're going to regret not having anything to wear on a date."
"When we find Zuko out there, he'll be our prisoner," Mai points out.
"So?" Ty Lee replies. "That doesn't mean you can't look nice."
Mai pauses, pinches the bridge of her nose between her fingers. "I thought you were supposed to be helping me pack."
"I am helping," Ty Lee chirps. "Or at least I'm trying to. It's not my fault you won't take any of my advice."
Mai tosses one of her maroon garments at her friend. "There. Start folding."
Ty Lee sighs and picks the piece of clothing off her face. "You could at least say please."
"No."
"You're going on a date with Zuko."
"What?" Mai and Ty Lee gasp simultaneously, looking up at the door. They are seated on the bed in the room where Mai is staying. It is nice, Ty Lee reflects, having a room to herself. After spending so much time cramming three bodies into a tent made for two, the palace in Ba Sing Se seems to contain the entire world within its corridors.
"Mai," Azula elaborates. "You're going on a date with Zuko. In an hour. Start getting ready."
Mai narrows her eyes, suspicion evident across her features. "Why?"
Azula sighs and rolls her eyes. "My dear brother, is having… inferiority issues. He doesn't believe our father will accept him because he hasn't captured the Avatar. Always such a drama queen." She glances at Mai across her nose, the corners of her lips turning up in a smirk. "I need to give him something to come home for."
"I see," Mai drawls at the same time as Ty Lee exclaims, "She'll do it!"
"Good," Azula answers in a voice that clearly suggests she expected no different.
"Mai, this is so exciting," Ty Lee squeals, clutching her friend's arm and shaking. "I told you this would happen! Come on, we have so much work to do. We have to find you something to wear—"
"I'm wearing this," Mai interrupts.
Ty Lee stills. Her shoulders deflate. "You suck the fun out of everything, you… you… fun sucker."
"Clever," Mai replies with a smirk. "She turns back to Azula. Where am I meeting him?"
"At the fountain," Azula replies. "By my uncle's old tea shop."
"Which is wear, exactly?"
Azula shrugs. "The upper ring's not that big. I'm sure you'll be able to find it easily enough."
Mai sigh and rolls her eyes, clearly as unsurprised as Ty Lee about Azula's frustrating unhelpfulness. "I guess I better get going then, if I'm going to have to wander the entire city to find it."
"I could go with you," Ty Lee volunteers. "I'll help you look. It'll be fun—"
"No."
She snaps her mouth shut and looks over as Azula speaks. "I need you with me."
She pastes a smile onto her face and tries to pretend she isn't incredibly annoyed at Azula's clipped tones and lack of forthcoming tonight. "What am I going to be doing?"
Azula's eyes drift over to Mai before she speaks again. "I'll explain later. Mai, didn't you say something about leaving?"
Mai takes the cue to climb off her bed, stow the stiletto laying on her nightstand carefully up her sleeve, and exit the room without another word.
"I feel like we never see her anymore."
"Who?" Azula asks distractedly. She is hunched over her breast piece. Polishing her armor is the only thing Azula does herself. It is something she picked up in the forests of the Earth Kingdom, because Mai would not touch it, and Ty Lee had failed miserably. Now, not even the most diligent servant can make the armor shine to Azula's liking.
"Mai, of course," Ty Lee answers. "I haven't seen her in…" She pauses to think. "Like five days."
"She's around here somewhere," Azula shrugs, but her voice is cutting. "If you really want to see her that much, go find her."
Ty Lee heaves a sad sigh and looks over at her friend. "Azula, you know that's not what I meant." She reaches over and lays a hand on the Princess' shoulder, but she feels Azula's body tense, so she pulls away. "I just want her here with us."
"Why?" Azula asks, leaning in closer to the armor to scratch at a mark. "Am I not entertaining you to your satisfaction?"
"It's just that…" Ty Lee hesitates. "I watch you practice your forms, I watch you go over battle plans, I watch you polish your armor… at least when Mai's around, I have someone to talk to."
"I didn't realize you'd become so attached," Azula replies. Her voice is cold, but it's also forced. Detached, but only just. "If you want to go watch her exchange saliva with my brother, that might be more interesting."
"No," Ty Lee shakes her head forcefully. "You're the most interesting person in the world, Azula."
She can see the corners of her friend's lips turn up just slightly, but Azula does not lift her head. "I know."
"I know you know," Ty Lee giggles. It is a lie, of course—Azula's constant pursuit of perfection has given way to deep seeded inferiority problems—but Ty Lee will never call her on it. She throws her arms around her friend and holds on despite fact that Azula stiffens instantly. "But I wanted to tell you anyway."
"Flattery will get you nowhere," she grumbles into Ty Lee's shoulder.
Ty Lee simply hums in response and relishes the feeling of the body against hers, the movement as Azula fidgets, as she breathes, for perhaps a little too long.
"Are you planning on letting go of me anytime soon?"
"Oops!" she squeals, withdrawing her arms. "Sorry, Azula!"
The Princess grunts, and they sit in silence while she straightens her robes. "Well," she finally says slowly, like it is causing her pain. "I suppose we could… do something."
"Okay!" Ty Lee exclaims. "Like what?"
"Why are you asking me?" Azula shakes her head in irritation. "You're the one who said you were bored."
"I don't think I ever said that."
"You implied it."
"Okay." Ty Lee taps a finger against her chin as she thinks. In all the time they have been friends, Azula has never let her choose the activity. Azula always chose what game to play next when they were children, and it was always a game she could win, or could change the rules to so that she won. "Let's climb up on the roof." The idea comes to her suddenly.
Azula wrinkles her nose. "Why would we do that?"
"I don't know." Ty Lee shrugs. "But we used to do it when we were little, remember?"
The Princess nods slowly. "Mai always stayed inside because she would get in trouble if she got dirty."
"Uh huh." Ty Lee nods enthusiastically. "Come on. The sun is about to set. We can watch. You're a firebender. You'll like that."
Ty Lee is halfway out the window before Azula has time to protest. She scales the wall with the agility of a cat. Azula follows a little more clumsily. Ty Lee is surprised at first, because no one is more in shape than the Princess, but she reminds herself that she is the one who has a year as a circus acrobat under her belt. If they were younger, she would slow down so that Azula could feel like she was winning, but Ty Lee is nearly fifteen now, and she thinks her friend can handle not being better than everyone else at absolutely everything. Mai's words ring in her ears. When you care about someone, you have to say no sometimes, even when it's hard. Maybe this will be good for her.
Ty Lee has always felt like she was sitting on the sun when she was up here. The golden panels seem to glow in the way that they reflect light, and the gentle slope of the roof cradles her back if she leans against it just right. Azula crawls up beside her and carefully sits.
"Is it just me or have you gotten faster?"
Ty Le shrugs. "It must be from when I was at the circus." She will never admit that she has been faster than Azula all along.
"Yes, that must be it," Azula pants.
"Wow," Ty Lee murmurs as she takes in the scene before them for the first time in, what seems like a lifetime. "It must have been two years since I've been up here."
"The night before you left for the circus," Azula replies. "That was the last time I came up here too."
Ty Lee furrows her brow. "Really? Why?"
"I would have just been sitting here alone." Azula shrugs. "What would have been the point?"
"It's beautiful," she answers. "You can see the entire city from here, right out to the Gates of Azulon. What other reason do you need?"
Azula sighs. "Well, I was never exactly one to appreciate beauty, if you'll recall. That was always more your thing."
"Yes," Ty Lee agrees as her eyes flit over to her friend. "It is my thing."
"You told me you would write every week," she comments, and Ty Lee thinks she hears accusation in Azula's tone of voice.
"What?"
"The last time we were here, before you left for the circus," Azula elaborates. "You told me you would write every week, but you never did."
"Oh… right." Ty Lee pulls at the collar of her shirt. "I may have overestimated the availability of messenger hawks in the Earth Kingdom." A nervous giggle. "Besides, I thought you had Mai."
Azula sighs. "She left shortly after you did."
"Well, I know that now."
"I was alone."
Ty Lee turns her entire head this time. The number of times she has seen this expression on Azula's face, the number of times Azula has let her see it, she can count on one hand. Hurt.
"Azula, do you remember what else I told you that night?" she asks, her voice gentle.
Azula shrugs and does not meet her eyes. "Not exactly." Another lie, Ty Lee thinks.
"I told you we would always be friends," she reminds her. Azula's hand rests on the tiles of the roof inches away from her own, and quickly, before she can stop herself, she slides her own hand over to clasp it. Azula looks at her, eyes wide with shock, muscles in her hand tensing, and Ty Lee smiles reassuringly, trying to ignore the fritillaries that have suddenly taken up residence in her stomach. "That's still true. I'll always be your friend. No matter what."
Ty Lee can barely see through her tears by the time she is directed into the cell. It looks very similar to hers, except that it is slightly larger and has a window. The perks of being the niece of the warden. Near the wall to the left of the door, Ty Lee can see two large, brown stains on the stone floor. Her stomach rolls unpleasantly. Mai is curled up in a ball on the concrete slab on the far wall. Her back is facing the door, but what Ty Lee can see of her cheek is whiter than the ash that occasionally blows into the capital from one of the nearby volcanos.
"Mai?"
Her friend turns her head and nods weakly, silently permitting Ty Lee to approach her. She drops to her knees beside the slab, ignoring the shooting pain that radiates through her body as her bruises collide with the stone.
"What did you do?"
Mai hunches her shoulders and curls farther into herself. "I don't know."
"Mai," She stops and crosses her arms. "Come on."
Mai sighs, and then she rolls over and holds her arms out. They are heavily bandaged, but Ty Lee can see the blood seeping through the white cloth. She kneels beside the slab and grasps her friend's arms. "Oh, Mai…"
"I wasn't…" Mai hesitates. "I wasn't really sure if I wanted to."
"What?" Ty Lee whispers, swiping furiously at the tears pouring down her cheeks.
"I mean, I did want to," Mai elaborates. "I have no interest in living until a ripe old age if I'm never going to see the outside of this hellhole again, but I didn't want to leave you alone. It's my fault you're in here. You wanted to give me a chance to live. It would have made me a pretty horrible friend, to throw away your sacrifice like that."
Ty Lee sniffles. "You tried to anyway."
Mai sighs. She is silent for a moment, before she replies. "I didn't cut the right way."
"What?"
"I didn't cut the right way," Mai repeats. "That way, they have longer to save you."
"How did you know which way to cut?" she asks, narrowing her eyes suspiciously.
Mai rolls her eyes. "I know how to kill people with knives," she explains. "That includes myself."
"You didn't want to die?" Ty Lee asks, her eyes widening.
"I wasn't sure," Mai admits. "But I figured if I was meant to, I would."
Ty Lee slides her fingers down to her friend's hand and grasps it in her own. "Do you want to now?"
"I do," Mai answers. "Like I said, the prospect of grow old in here hold no appeal for me. But I won't try again." She breathes a shaky sigh, and when she speaks again, her voice is a whisper. "Please don't tell Azula I did this."
Ty Lee laughs, the bitter kind, and it sounds so strange coming out of her mouth. It would really be more suited to Mai's. "When will I ever see Azula again?"
"She'll come," Mai replies firmly, and Ty Lee wonders how she can be so sure. "Trust me. She'll come."
Ty Lee pinches her eyebrows together in confusion. "But why don't you want her to know. Maybe she'll let you out."
Mai shakes her head against the concrete. "I don't want to her feel like she's won."
"But hasn't she won?"
"Just don't tell her." She sounds so tired, and it scares Ty Lee, because she cannot remember a time when her friend was not resolute, determined, and strong. "Please."
"I promise," Ty Lee replies, and, unlike Mai, she intends to keep it.
Mai pauses for a moment. She studies Ty Lee's face like she is deciding something, and then she heaves another sigh. "Listen, Ty. We're not going to be able to see each other for a while."
Her eyes widen. "What do you mean?"
"Because…" Mai hesitates and drops her eyes to the slab. "Because of what I did, I'm not allowed to leave the cell. I called in a favor from one of the guards whose parents know mine to get you in here. But it was my last favor. I wanted to say goodbye."
"Goodbye?" Ty Lee gasps. "How long is it going to be?"
"Indefinitely," Mai answers. "That's what the warden said." Ty Lee notes the use of her uncle's title, rather than his name. "Don't worry. I'm sure they'll forget eventually. The turnover rate of guards here is really high. It just could be a while."
She can feel tears threatening at the corner of her eyes again, and she wipes them away with the back of her arm, hand still grasping her friend's hand. "What am I supposed to do without you?"
Mai shrugs. A small, reassuring smile is peaking at the corners of her lips. "You'll make friends. Those Kyoshi Warrior girls seem nice. Maybe they'll let you spar with them."
"Right," Ty Lee replies dryly. "Right after they forgive me for capturing them in the first place."
"If anyone can persuade a person to forgive them," Mai answers. "I have no doubt it's you."
Ty Lee can hears a rapping on the door behind her. "Sounds like your time is up," Mai comments quietly, and she nods and gets to her feet.
When she is halfway across the cell, she stops and shakes her head. "I can't believe you did this," she murmurs. "I laid down my life for you."
"You didn't die," Mai answers.
"But I should have," Ty Lee argues. She sounds as wounded as she feels, but she hardly cares. Ty Lee has always been more open about her pain than either of her friends. "I thought I was going to."
"I never asked you to." There is silence, and then she hears another sigh. "I'm sorry. I promise we'll see each other again."
She intends to keep this promise. Ty Lee can hear it in her voice.
"What's wrong?"
Mai is beside her, and Ty Lee is surprised she is not with Zuko, basking in their renewed relationship.
The boards of the old beach house creak in the wind, and outside the window, the trees seem to be waving at them. She studies them as she speaks again. "Azula laughed at me." It feels wrong to sound so hurt about this small infraction. This is Azula, after all, and she usually does much worse than laugh at a person.
She does not remove her eyes from the beach out the window, but she can almost hear her friend's eyebrows raising. "That's all? I hate to break it to you, Ty, but Azula laughs at you all the time."
She drops her eyes and sighs. "I know, and I usually don't mind."
"But you did tonight," Mai finishes.
She nods and shrugs her shoulders. "I don't know why."
Mai is silent for a moment before she answers. "Is it because it was your feelings she was laughing at this time, instead of your behavior?"
"And usually I'm trying to make her laugh," Ty Lee admits. "She looks different when she laughs at me than when she laughs at someone dying. Have you noticed? She looks really pretty."
"She always looks really pretty," Mai points out. "So do you. What of it?"
Ty Lee shrugs. "I just… like seeing her like that. That's all."
Mai studies her for a moment, one eyebrow raised. "You know this isn't healthy."
Ty Lee sighs sadly. "I know. But I can't help it. I can't just tell myself to stop. You should know that. Haven't you tried?"
Mai presses her lips together and nods.
"Where is Zuko anyway?" Ty Lee asks, suddenly very curious. "You two just made up. I expected you to be with him."
Mai smiles gently and reaches for Ty Lee's arm. "He can wait," she answers. "I had to make sure my friend was okay."
Ty Lee pulls her into a hug that she knows Mai only accepts because it is her, and she holds her there because it feels so good to have one person she knows she can rely on, one person who will always be there for her.
"Well, well, isn't this touching."
Azula is standing in the doorway when Ty Lee finally pulls away from Mai. She crosses the room in three step. "My brother is wondering where you are," she comments, and Mai recognizes the dismissal. She leaves Ty Lee with a significant look.
Ty Lee stands in silence, one hand gripping the opposite bicep, as Azula stares at her. Finally, Azula speaks. "Are you upset about something?"
"No," she answers, because she knows she not supposed to hurt. Azula would call it weakness. Azula treats her friends the same way she has been treated her entire life. They are weapons, not people.
"It's no use lying to me, Ty Lee. You know I can always tell." The Princess brushes past her to the window, and Ty Lee wonders if she is occupying herself staring at the beach so that she doesn't have to look at her. Then, almost so quietly that Ty Lee cannot hear, "Is it because of me?" Ty Lee does not know how to answer, so she remains silent. Suddenly, Azula whirls around to face her. "Well? Is it?"
Ty Lee swallows and nods. Azula drops her eyes and mutters, "I thought as much. Alright then, what was it?"
"What?"
"What did I do?" Azula answers, faintly irritated.
"It… was nothing," Ty Lee replies. "It was stupid."
Azula crosses her arms. "Clearly you don't think so."
"Fine." Ty Lee sighs in resignation. "You laughed at me."
"Is that all?" Azula raises an eyebrow, and Ty Lee thinks she might be suppressing the urge to laugh again.
She turns away. "I told you it was stupid."
She expects Azula to tease her or leave, but she is silent, and they stand there like that for a long time.
"It's not a very good day for us, is it?"
"What?" Ty Lee looks over her shoulder.
"I didn't know you were hurt." Azula meets Ty Lee's eyes before elaborating. "When I laughed at you. I didn't know you were hurt."
She nods. "It's okay, Azula."
She can tell from the expression on the Princess' face that she sees right through the lie, but Azula does not acknowledge it. She turns back to the window. "I don't believe Mai will be back tonight."
Ty Lee nods wordlessly, suddenly feeling very lonely. "We could have a sleepover if you want," she suggests tentatively. "You can have Mai's bed. It can be just like when we were little." They have not had a sleepover since Azula turned twelve. Mai, as always, seems to know exactly why this is, but every time Ty Lee asks her, she gets even more serious than usual and shakes her head.
"What?" Azula asks. "Do you want to braid each other's hair, and have a pillow fight, and talk about boys too?"
"Well," Ty Lee answers slowly. "My hair's already braided, and we don't have to talk about boys if you don't want to."
"I won't talk about my parents," Azula comments abruptly, and Ty Lee can't help but think that if Mai was here, she would know exactly what that meant.
"Okay," she agrees. "We won't talk about boys or our families."
Azula drops her hands from the window sill. "I'll go get my things."
"I think…" Ty Lee breathes. "I think that I've been in love."
"Really," Mai replies, her voice carefully measured. Ty Lee can tell from the look in her friend's eye that she thinks she might know where this is going. She scoots her body closer, kicking the side of the tent and making the entire structure shudder in the process. She sees Mai glance over her shoulder to ensure that Azula is still sleeping for she speaks again. "Do tell. Who is this lucky boy."
She emphasizes the word, boy, as if she is daring Ty Lee to correct her, and Ty Lee realizes in that moment that Mai already knows, or at least she thinks she does and is trying to confirm her suspicion.
"I'd, umm, rather not say."
"Come on, Ty Lee," Mai coaxes. "You tell me everything. Spit it out."
She presses her lips together and shakes her head vigorously.
"Okay, how about this," Mai says. "I'll make a statement, and you only have to tell me if it's true or not. It'll be like a game."
Ty Lee considers the offer for a moment. She knows Mai will turn it to her advantage. She wouldn't have suggested it if she didn't already have a plan to do so—Mai is very much like Azula in that respect—but Ty Lee nods her head anyway.
Mai smirks wickedly. "The person you're in love with is in this tent."
Ty Lee deflates. This was a terrible idea. She shouldn't have said anything. A million regrets rush through Ty Lee's head, but she swallows as she meets her friend's eyes and nods.
Mai's smile grows only more predatory as she continues. "You're not in love with me."
"I don't want to play anymore." She rolls onto her stomach and buries her face in the pillow.
"Come on, Ty Lee." She feels a hand come to rest on her back. "I already know the answer. Just tell me it's true. We never have to talk about it again. I'd die before I'd tell her."
Ty Lee takes a rattling breath and nods into the pillow.
"There, that wasn't so bad." Mai's hand begins to rub back and forth. "Look at us. Both hung up on people we'll never have. Siblings even."
Ty Lee feels a giggle ripple through her body, and when she turns her head to look at Mai again, she is met with a gentle smile. "I thought you said there was nothing between you and Zuko anymore."
"No," she answers. "I said we weren't in love. But there was something there. There was always something there. Maybe it could have become love. I guess we'll never know."
Ty Lee nods. "Do you think she could ever love me?"
Mai's hand continues its steady motion. "I don't know, Ty Lee. Azula's a mystery, but I've never really seen her love anything other than power."
Ty Lee nods. "I think she could." She sighs. "But I guess I'll never know either."
"At least now we can suffer in silence together," Mai points out. It is so unlike her to see the silver lining, but Ty Lee nods gratefully, nonetheless.
She reaches out and grasps Mai's hand in her own. "We'll always be friends, right? I don't know what I'd do without you."
"I'm sure you'd be fine." She can see a warmth growing on her friend's face, however much she is trying to repress it. "But, yes, we will."
"Do you promise?"
"I promise."
A/N: Hey guys. I'm back again. So this is the dangerous ladies oneshot I was referring to in the author's note at the end of Beginning. It was originally supposed to be a lot more lighthearted, and then it ended up a lot angstier than I expected, but I guess that's pretty much par for the course with me. Oh well, there are still some lighter scenes.
I'm still working on the companion piece to Light, but not super actively right now because I have a longer tyzula story that I just outlined and I'm really excited about. I haven't actually started writing yet though (probably this week sometime), and I want to be a couple of chapters ahead when I start posting, so don't expect it too soon.
Anyway, take a minute to review if you have one. They seriously make my day. If you write something that gives me something to reply to, I will reply.