Matter Over Mind

by Sodelle

After yet another failure, Alphonse seems ready to give up on the chance of redeeming his body. Edward decides he is willing to go to unprecedented lengths to find a philosopher's stone, and sets out on what should be a brief journey. Six months later, he has not returned, leaving Al and the military to wonder if he is alright—if even alive...but they never expected this.

1. Chapter 1

Regret

Prologue: Matter over Mind

"Another false lead." Edward couldn't hide the frustration in his voice as he collapsed onto the bed and proceeded to brood silently.

"Maybe I just wasn't meant to be human again," Alphonse said gloomily. "It would explain all these relentless failures." Ed sat up quickly, banging his head on the upper bunk.

"Don't you dare say that!" He growled, rubbing his throbbing head. They had gone to too many lengths for him to see Al losing his hope; it was all he had left.

"I dunno, it could be true. Maybe we're just chasing our own tails here."

Ed felt a spike of anger. He stood and confronted his brother.

"Alphonse. We are getting your body back whether you think we can or not."

Al retreated a few steps. Ed might be short, but he could be intimidating.

"Ok. I'm sorry, I shouldn't say that. I won't say it again," Al promised, but Ed knew that he would still doubt whether or not he admitted it aloud. He wished he could be of some comfort.

A glimmer of an idea snuck into his mind; a part of his mind where he kept suppressed possibilities. It would be far more unethical, Ed reasoned, to let his brother suffer when there was the possibility he could change him back. How far was he willing to go, though?

Ed promised himself that he would kill no one on the course of his mission. He also promised himself that Al would never find out what he planned to do.

"I'll be heading out again tonight. I think I found a better lead on the stone."

"Um…already? Well, ok, I'll go with you!" Al chimed.

"It's ok, I'll be fine," Ed said quickly. Al would disapprove of the plan for sure, and there was no way he was going to turn back now. Al's disappointed demeanor spurred Ed to make up a quick excuse.

"I just—it requires squeezing into small spaces," he presented stupidly. Al had no facial features, but Ed was sure he was internally raising an eyebrow. Ed mentally smacked himself for making any comment relating to his size.

"…Um, ok? It's not dangerous, is it?" Al asked.

"What have we ever done that isn't? Anyways, it's nothing I can't handle. I'll be back before you know it."

Inwardly, Ed didn't believe himself. This could take a while, maybe even a few days.

"I'm off," he called, stepping out the door.

6 months later, Al would still be waiting for his return.