BLESSINGS
November 2008
Jaime opened a shutter with care. It was very early: few cars passed through the nearest road and Million still remained curling up in its bed.
She turned back her head and looked at her husband, still asleep, relaxed, his hand on her side of bed. During the last fourteen years they had slept together every single night, always close, always joined. Bitterness of too many wasted years had already faded away and now their common life had the good taste of trust and mutual forgiveness.
Their daughter often joked at them, finding them hand in hand on the sofa, kissing in the kitchen, embracing before leaving for a couple of hours. But Michael once confided to his step mother ``I`m looking for a love just like yours. I`ve seen what love can be, I won`t accept anything less``. Michael… he found a special love, indeed! He had a wonderful family… In a few hours they were going to arrive for Thanksgiving lunch; once again they were going to be gathered… everyone but… Jaime felt as if someone had wrung her heart while tears were coming to her eyes… everyone but Oscar. Three years had already passed but nobody could forget…
Steve was awake now… he had joined his wife, embracing her from behind and kissing her hair. ``I miss him, too``. Jaime stood unable to say a word, wondering if a life long lover really could read his partner`s mind. Steve`s voice was almost a whisper now: ``I can`t forget, either. Everytime I watch at Summer, everytime she celebrates her birthday… I think that she wouldn`t be here without his sacrifice. Oscar first gave me back my own life, then my wife`s and also my daughter`s life, how could I forget?``
Jaime tried to jest, to drive out tears ``I can`t believe you brought out such a long speech from that Teflon heart!``.
``I`ve been repeating it for years: I`m mellowing. Admit it…
Come on, go and wash these tears away from your beautiful face, YOUR daughter is already moving downstairs``.
``MY daughter?``
``Well, I don`t know her before breakfast!``
Jaime puffed ``Don`t worry, she`s going to prepare Million`s food first… later, maybe, she`ll recall something about our existence and come and search for us``.
``You bet it``
``Steve, wait… thank you…``
He just smiled and winkled.
They were right, Summer was in the garden, looking for her dog, an old lazy half-breed that they found when they moved from Washington D.C. As her first friend in her new home, Million still maintained a preferential role, in spite of an impossible temper.
``Come on, you lazy bones! Here`s your thanksgiving breakfast! Ah, here you are… hurry up, mum`s on my footsteps! Million, listen, my nephews are coming, PLEASE, try to behave well! Will you? You know, Amber, David and little Oscar, together with me, are the only normal people in this family… What did you say? Robin? My sister in law is worse than the bionic creatures… aaaargh, she`s got a bionic brain, terrific!
Beware of doctor Robin Anderson Austin and her bionic bistoury! Aaargh!
Come here, silly dog! I love them , I love them so much, bionic or not bionic.
Oh, God! What if mum heard me?``
Jaime was standing near the door, looking at her daughter with pink pajamas, boots and jacket, sitting on the meadow with her dog. Definitely she didn`t seem a girl who was born and raised in an elegant zone of a big city. ``I`ve changed a lot, too``, she thought.
Her previous consulting room had a brass plate on its door.
``Dr. Jaime Sommers - family counseling``
Her present work space had a wooden sign with an inscription made by Summer with pyrograph in a long hot afternoon ``Equestrian rehabilitation center – Director: Dr. Jaime S. Austin - WELCOME``
Her patients talked with her sitting on a stone, walking by the lake, playing on the grass… She had to change her white, long clothes to something different. Steve said she looked younger now… happier, for certain.
They left the city running away from the worst event in their lives: a quick, desperate decision, that could have been their biggest mistake. They sold everything, boat, house, furniture, car… and started up a new life in their hometown.
They still owned Steve`s ranch on the lake, Elgin`s house and also Jaime`s coach house apartment, where she had been living for three important years. With a reasonable bionic help they repaired everything and made a new home in Ojai. Steve`s ranch became a center of rehabilitation with horses. Everyday they all together reached it and work with the first horses, the first patients… Steve and Jaime came in terms with everything about their past, feeling they were in the right place, at last. Ojai had changed a lot, there was no mention about the ``American Astronaut Steven Austin`` on the town entrance; they found some old friends but they could have an almost anonymous return. Sometimes Steve did some lectures for students and Jaime starred at the tennis tournament for the opening ceremony, but all that things seemed to belong to someone else, a million lives ago.
Their present was a hard wonderful job with autistic children or traumatized people, leading a group of three doctors, two physical therapists, a secretary and a dozen of volunteers. Steve dealed with veterinarian bills, food delivering and a lot of other duties, letting her free to share time with patients or study some new therapeutical approaches…
Summer spent all her free hours in the center, riding horses, helping her father or playing with some of the littlest patients. She got the best benefits from their new life. She had turned into a tall beautiful young girl, a little bit shy, very sensitive and clever. She often covered her deepest feelings with silence or quips, just like her father.
Her fair ruffled hair blew around as sun rays and her thoughts were often somewhere else…
``Mum, are you still sleeping?``
She was in front of her, now.
``No, I was just thinking…``
``Say nothing, I KNOW! I`ll go and wash my hands…``
In a few seconds she had disappeared.
``Mum?`` Her voice came from upstairs ``You`ve forgotten the PUT-ON -SOMETHING - DECENT part. Are you sure you`re OK?``
Steve coughed from the kitchen, risking to choke with his coffee.
``I`ll kill those two Austin sooner or later. But… who`s going to be the first?``
September 2005
Four days away from Summer`s 10th birthday, the foreseen call arrived.
``Oscar!``
``Hi Jaime!... Is everything all right?... Listen, I`m ready to celebrate your daughter`s birthday…``
``I know what does it mean for you: spoiling her!``
``Poor little girl has no grandparents. I simply do my best to take their place.``
``Come on, Oscar! You`re worse than a grandpa. If she asks for the moon, you just go and buy it for her, faster than a blink!``
``She`s already got a piece of moon at home… Nice door-stop!
Don`t worry, she just wants a guitar.``
`` Really? She didn`t say anything to us…``
``Sure, an acoustic guitar. She told something about Shania Twain and Sheryl Crow… I must take informations… I`ll fetch her from school. See you at 6 p.m. outside Chuck Levin`s Washington Music Center…11151 Veirs Mill Rd… Silver Springs…``
Jaime couldn`t help smiling putting the phone down.
Summer walked hand in hand with Oscar, proud and happy.
He was carrying her birthday present to his car. It had been a quick choice, she saw it in the shop-window and felt in love with a Fender CD-110E, all black.
``I already feel like Shania… Oscar, do you know her?``
``Sorry, honey… but I know Dolly Parton``
``Who is Dolly Parton?``
``Oh, let`s leave it at that… Look, it`s still too early…`` He locked the guitar in the trunk ``Let`s go and have a cup of chocolate! … I love that smile! You know it, and take advantage… ``
He pushed her nose with his forefinger ``Yes, you do…``
They crossed the road laughing as two old pals, a slender lively girl and an elderly retired officer.
Summer couldn`t believe it… she didn`t manage to think, either.
How could a perfect joyful moment turn like this… dust, screams, darkness… and all those bangs! How many? When are they going to stop?
Oscar, why are you squeezing me on the floor? Oscar, I can`t see anything…
When bangs finished, then she began to feel terror.
She thought she was going to die.
But suddenly a hand found hers and wrung it.
Jaime and Steve decided to go together to the date. They had planned to invite Oscar for dinner, on Steve`s boat. Exactly the kind of surprise that Summer adored.
Jaime was the first one who realized that something was wrong. Such a traffic jam… and too many sirens…
``Steve, something`s wrong… something bad happened``
``Are you kidding?``
``No, I heard… oh, God! Leave the car, hurry up!``
They couldn`t start any bionic run, side-walks were crowded by upset and confused people. It took an endless time to reach the police cordon; they crossed it and wandered hand in hand, panic-stricken, shouting their daughter`s name.
The stretcher was lent on the meadow, behind an ambulance, and as Steve noticed the school uniform he held his wife`s hand tightly. Summer was there, completely covered with blood, but alive. Two paramedics could hardly hold her, she was crying and tossing. She clung to Jaime`s body and seemed to calm down.
``Who are you?``
``Her parents. What the hell did it happen?``
``Terrorist attack, we`re afraid. She seems to be unhurt. This blood doesn`t belong to her.``
``There was a man with her…``
``I know. I found them. He covered her with his body; that saved her life, I`m sure.``
``You mean…``
``Yeah… I`m sorry. Please, come with me… it`s better if your wife remains here.``
The following days were days of silence. Silence at the funeral: no friend was allowed to speak during the official burial service. Austin family stood still, their eyes completely dry, together with Jim, Kate and Rudy.
Silence at home: Summer spoke very seldom and when Jim came and gave her the guitar, she held it like a dead thing and didn`t even open the case.
Silence in too many sleepless night.
In the end, Steve said it: ``We must leave. We must go away…``
Jaime just put her hand on his cheek and nodded, without saying a word.
It took several weeks to arrange everything.
Summer didn`t seem to be worried, she just said ``OK``. But when they reached Ojai, she walked around for hours and came back home with a new smile… and a dog. The ugliest dog they`d ever seen.
At the first night they shared sandwiches on the floor of Elgin`s house and slept into their sleeping-bags, Summer in the middle, Million at their feet.
It was among dust, boxes and painting that they had their first opportunity to share their sorrow. Jaime and Steve were carrying a new bed into Summer`s room and found her standing near the window, with the black guitar in her hands.
``I can`t remember… I was happy, I think, but I can`t remember it now…
You know, I only can… recall… the worst of that day!``
Her voice broke up and tears finally came.
``I know that we laughed a lot together, but I can`t remember. I keep on hearing his voice –Don`t worry Summer… mum`s coming… they will save us… don`t cry… I won`t leave you alone… don`t cry honey – Mum, his voice became lower and lower… he used his last breath to say that he loved me, that he loved all of us!
Dad, have you got any idea of how much I feel guilty?``
It was a long afternoon. They cried together and let their feelings flow in that half painted room. Summer let them hold her like a baby and finally agreed to meet some mum`s colleague for a while.
They ended opening all the boxes, looking for a picture of Oscar`s. They chose one and put it on a wall bracket built by Jim Elgin thirty years before, together with the moon stone.
When Jaime woke up, the day after, she heard some music… Summer had opened her guitar case.
Back to November 2008
Michael`s car arrival filled the garden with a joyful frantic bustle, made of voices, barkings and kisses.
Colonel Austin jr and doctor Anderson seemed to handle it without any effort, probably due to their everyday battle in reconciling growing children, military career and medical research.
After a quick ``hi`` to their grandparents, all the ``under 14`` vanished. Everybody knew exactly where they had found their shelter: Summer`s room was a world of technological marvels for David; a space of shared secrets for Amber and her aunt, almost of the same age; a magical kingdom for little Oscar. Summer`s knees were his throne and he had no intention to leave it, not before lunch at least.
There was only one thing in that room that nobody could touch. The black guitar.
Summer played it for hours, almost everyday, but she was quite jealous of it.
David once asked the reason and made his supposition: ``Is it very expensive?``
``You cannot imagine how much it did cost…``
Jaime and Robin were sitting in the garden, watching at Steve and Michael, engrossed in an intense chat near the coach house.
``You know, Robin… Steve has missed him so much… and so did I.``
``It`s not easy. Sometimes I think that I meet him more often as a doctor than as a wife.``
``Blessed bionics!``
``You bet. But soon everything will change. I can`t tell you more, now. Michael wants to tell you during the lunch. Please, be patient.``
``I`ll try… lately almost everyone hide something to me. You know, Summer wrote some songs! All her friends know that, and so do her friend`s parents and all the teachers! But I am not allowed…``
``Michael has always hidden something important, too. But I`ll play the spy: everytime he speaks about you, he says MY MOTHER!``
``Does he? I couldn`t imagine it!``
``He doesn`t know how to show this feeling, even if it`s so deep.``
``Mmm, that sounds familiar. Welcome to Austin family! Come in, Doc, let`s check the turkey!``
They run into Summer in the entrance ``Mum, Robin… Oscar`s hungry! What are you laughing about?``
Michael gave his announcement during the lunch: they were going to move soon. He had been assigned back to Maffin Air Force Base, a couple of hours driving from Ojai. Even better, Robin was going to open a new lab in L.A..
``Dad, you and Mum have never worked and lived so close … Are you sure you can bear it?`` , was the kindest of Amber`s remarks.
David was even wittier: ``I feel relieved. I was afraid you were going to announce another baby!``
Summer stood with moist eyes and a deep emotion in her throat, while Steve exchanged a quick intense glance with his son.
Jaime simply embraced both Robin and Michael, and ruffling her step-son`s hair she thought about the funny side of life: an unexpected son, an easy way to become friends, a long path to become a family.
They had an old tradition: after those crowded lunches they cleaned up everything all together. They called it ``the military discipline game``. Their favorite part was Steve shouting at them with a long list of odd fanciful epithets; sometimes they laughed so much that it took a very long time to finish.
``Today I won`t be able to boss around here…`` said Steve, who was carrying sleeping Oscar, his little arms hanging, his cheek on grandpa`s shoulder.
``Dad, let me take him…``
``No no no… I`ve never held you like this, let me recover lost time. Soon he will join that bunch of brutes and it will be too late! Hey, you, lazy-bones! Michael is your commander-in-chief for this operation. Ah, leave some whole plates or we`ll serve you Christmas lunch in Million`s bowl!``
Steve found his wife in the sitting room. She was waiting for him with her brightest smile.
``What`s up, Jaime? Are you expecting to see a bionic grandpa collapsing under a two-year-old burden?``
``No, I`m waiting for a kiss. You neglected me…``
They kissed each other skimming the little fair head.
``Mum! Dad! You`re … embarrassing!``
``Look, degenerate daughter, just disappear or I`ll degrade you to the lowest level, lower than Million!``
Now Steve was serious again. He looked at Jaime and tried to recall about the past, but it was impossible. The dreadful noise from the kitchen, the warm, relaxed load on his shoulder, those clear eyes that knew everything about him… that is my present, he thought, that`s the only thing that matters. I`m a lucky man.