Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter...I wish I did but I don't. I-m only playing with the characters. Please do not sue me. I don't own any money so it will just be a waste of everyone's time.
Pairing: (eventually) Remus/Sirius

Author: Catium
Rating: NC-13
Word Count: 4608
Genre: Romance, drama.
Status: In progress
Warnings: Fluffy feelings, language, drama, slash.
Summary: The story of Remus and Sirius's friendship and love affair.
Note: This story is kind of a prequel to There Is a Thin Line between Hate and Love. In chapter 13 of There Is a Thin Line... Harry comes to Remus for an advice because he thinks he has feelings for Draco. Remus tells Harry that he and Sirius were a couple and after Harry runs out to talk to Draco, Remus starts to think about how he and Sirius became friend and later lovers. This story traces Remus and Sirius story of friendship and later love affair.

Love Affair – Chapter 1. Memories

Remus was sitting in his classroom on a Sunday grading 7'Th year's papers. He looked up from an essay he had just grated T and sighed in boredom.

"It never ceases to amaze me how far someone as thick can get at school." He thought and tried not to think about how boring grading these essays really was.

"Then why don't you stop grading the essays and go out? Hmm...? Go to Hogsmeade, to the pub and pick up some nice blo...?"

"Sirius!" Remus yelled in frustration. "SHUT UP!"

"Why? Shagging some pretty bloke would definitely not be boring. So why don't do it?"

"Because Sirius I'm not interested in shagging some bloke." Remus answered the annoying voice that he sometime heard in his head that sounded just like his dead friend and lover Sirius.

"Because you aren't over me yet?" Sirius asked.

"You know I'm not."

"Well isn't it about bloody time? I've been dead for two years now. And you also need to stop these conversations with me in your head. If someone found out you'd be considered crazy."

"Sirius I..."

Just then someone knocked on his classroom door and interrupted Remus's train of thought.

"Well aren't you going to answer whoever's knocking?" Sirius asked in his head.

"Yes I am Sirius now please just shut up for awhile."

"I would if you'd let me."

Remus sighed, pretended to be grading papers so whomever coming in wouldn't think he was just sitting there and said.

"Enter"

The door opened and Remus watched as Harry appeared in the doorway.

"Harry!"Remus said and smiled happy to see his old friends' son.

"What can I do for you today?" Come on in. Is this a student finding a teacher or well...?" Remus almost couldn't think that thought through. He had told Harry almost two years ago that he could come and talk to him anytime and up until now Harry hadn't taken him up on his proposition. "...you finding me?"

"Thanks for the invitation Remus." Harry said as he came in and closed the door. "It's me finding you. You said once that you would be there for me if I ever needed to talk, but that was right after Sirius's...death...so maybe."

"Oh Merlin I knew it. But he looks worried and like he hasn't been sleeping well so it would be cruel of me to take back my words now."

"No, no...Not at all Harry. I meant what I said after Sirius's." Remus stopped and swallowed the lump in his throat that threatened to overwhelm him. He pulled himself together.

"So what do you want to talk to me about Harry?"

"I...eh..." Harry stuttered. "Is there a possibility that we could go somewhere a little more private to talk about this...I'm...this is kinda private."

"Oh yes Harry of course. How stupid of me I should have asked you to come to my private quarters, right away after you told me you wanted to talk to me non-professor/student way. I'm sorry." Remus said feeling very stupid not to ask Harry to join in him his private quarters right away.

"It's O.K. Remus. I've never asked you for a talk before so there is no wonder you didn't."

Remus stood up and pointed Harry to follow him. He walked to the back of the classroom and took out his wand and did a little movement over the brick. A part of the brick slithered aside and revealed a door. Remus went in and Harry followed him. After walking through a short passage they came into Remus's private quarters.

"Have a seat Harry would you like a cup of tea and some crackers?" Remus asked Harry politely like always.

"No thank you I...I don't think I can eat or drink anything right now." Harry said in a low almost broken voice.

Remus heard the tone in Harry's voice, and realised this was not going to be an ordinary talk.

"Harry by Merlin...what's wrong? Has anything happened? Has Voldemor...?" He started to ask Harry.

"No it's not about him." Harry said.

"Did you have a fight with Ron or Hermione?" He continued.

"No we are as close as always."

"Did Sna..." Remus started to say but Harry caught in screaming.

"NO! REMUS I THINK I'M GAY!"

Remus was flabbergasted and looked at Harry surprisingly.

"Oh I did not see this coming." Sirius's voice chuckled amused.

"And I think I might like Draco" Harry added his voice more broken than Remus had ever heard it before even after Sirius's death.

"Well that might be trouble. Oh my."

"Oh my..." Remus echoed Sirius's voice in his head a bit lost for words "...Harry I..." was all he managed to say before Harry continued.

"I can't Remus...I..."

Remus listened as Harry poured out all his worries and wonderings on him possibly being gay and Remus listened intensely but a part of him thought.

"And we thought we had problems." Sirius voice said sarcastically. "His family loves him no matter what...and who cares about the press and public...fuck them...you need to put the poor boy out of his misery Remus. Maybe it would help if you told him the truth about us and the problems we had to go through that would put things into perspective for him."

"I can't..."

"Sure you can. Just say...Harry I'm gay. It would be rather hypocritical if he got mad at you. Just tell him Remus."

"...And how can I be so stupid to maybe like Draco? He's a Malfoy, they're always been considered evil...everyone will have a fit. We are supposed to be arch nemesis not kissing the hell out of each other in the hallways..." Remus watched a bit amused when Harry realising what he had said at the end, grabbed his mouth his eyes widening in horror.

"YES! That's my godson the player...snogging boys in the hallway." Sirius's voice said triumphal.

"Harry..." Remus started to say trying to fight down his amuse at this absurd situation. Then he couldn't stop himself and started to laugh heartily.

"This is not funny, Remus. How can you do this? You told me I could talk to you about everything."

"And you can Harry...you can." Remus said, pulled himself together to stop laughing and became serious. "The media Harry? The public? Hermione? Ron? The Weasleys? Me? You are thinking too much about what other think. The media and the public will make a deal out of this if you decide you're gay that is true. But since when have you given a Merlin damn thing about what they think? Never. And when the next big thing comes along. Some Quidditch star cheating on his wife they will forget all about. People will make a big deal out of whomever you decide to have a relationship with. That person being Draco Malfoy or Susan Bones. Putting that person under the microscope finding all the dirt on it. It doesn't matter. But what does matter is if that person is strong enough to handle those media's attention without leaving you. Then that person must like you a lot. And your family...me? I can't talk for Hermione and the Weasley's but I will not turn my back on you. If I did so that would be pretty hypocritical of me because..."

"Tell him Remus! It's about time you came out you're 37 for Merlin's sake."

"...well because I'm gay Harry."

"Remus I..." Harry started to say and Remus's could see when his words got through to Harry and he said shocked "You what?"

"I'm gay Harry."

"That's good Remus...now tell him the story."

"And like you already know I'm a werewolf too. Can you imagine what I had to go through when I realised. I'm not trying to diminish your problem, but it's nothing compared to how I felt. It was hard enough being a werewolf, which automatically put you outside the normal society. But gay? In the 1970's? It was impossible. Which was the reason why me and my boyfriend never came out. Not separately or as a couple. He knew we would be given hell. Especially me. So he never came out either. We were going to tell your parents and Peter, but never got the chance before all hell broke out. That is the war with Voldemort you know?"

"Yeah I realised." Was all Harry could say.

"He's in a bit of a shock." Sirius remarked

"Wouldn't you be?" Remus asked him and continued

"Then I lost him in the war and I just couldn't come out alone. Then a few years ago I found him again. But our relationship had been through so much right before I lost him that we couldn't tell each other we still had feelings for each other. We did though around two years ago finally. We started picking up the threats but they were fragile so we went slow and didn't want to tell anybody yet. Our relationship had just newly become strong enough for us to want and come out when he...died." Remus finished voicing this word...dead...for the first time and went silent grief taking him over for a while.

"Don't be sad Remus. It wasn't your fault."

They both stayed silent for a while. Remus pondering on Sirius's words. He knew it wasn't his fault Sirius died but he should have stood up to him better...make him stay at Grimmauld Place instead of going on to what would be his suicide...

"Why didn't you tell me?" Remus heard these words through his thoughts and looked at Harry, whom was already looking at him. They looked each other in the eyes and Harry continued. "Why didn't you tell me you and Sirius were a couple?"

"Smart boy."

"I am now Harry. It isn't easy when you've been keeping it a secret for 20 years. You are the first person except Sirius I tell I'm gay. We were not ashamed...but we were afraid. The Wizarding world in the 1970's was so uptight about everyone who where different that at first they welcomed Voldemort's theories. But when they became too extreme the society turned against him. But still there were prejudice, and we decided it wasn't anybody's business but ours."

"That was a mistake. We should've said FUCK THEM ALL...and snog in the hallway's like Harry and Draco are doing."

"I understand. They could have killed you if they have known? Right?" Harry asked

"Right. They could have." Remus admitted. "But that is not something you have to worry about anymore. Some people might give you a hard time but no one would kill you over this now a days. But I'm going to be honest with you. Some people still look at homosexuality as a sickness, an unnatural thing. So you can never be absolutely sure. Some people might decide to beat the homosexuality out of you."

"Sick fuckers."

"Yeah but it's not like I'm not in danger already of being beaten up or killed. So that is not the issue. And I guess..." Harry stopped.

"And you guess what?" Remus urged him on.

"Yeah go on Harry. I wan't to know what you guess."

"And I guess adding gay on top of the other things I already have going for me, The Boy Who Lived...so on... so forth isn't something I should worry about. I mean you were a werewolf and added that on top of you. Your kind, sorry about this, is hated and feared by everyone. I have the popularity vote from at least half of the Wizarding world and no one can wait for all around the world popularity. And if the press and public can't deal with it then..."

"Then fuck them Harry...fuck them all...like I've been saying!" Sirius said enthusiastically.

"Then fuck them Harry...fuck them all. They don't deserve you anyway." Remus said echoing Sirius words. And being so rude and un-Remus like made him feel like a Marauder again.

"And my family...you..." Harry paused "If they love me...they will understand."

"Yes they will." Remus agreed a smile tugging at his lips.

"Talking about looking for every reason not to be gay."

"You really thought up every possible reason for why you couldn't be gay and now when we've dismissed them all. What about Draco?" Remus asked him

"What about him?"

"Does he know you might possibly, maybe like him?" Remus said using Harry's own words.

"He was as a matter of fact the one who told me he liked me first." Harry answered him

"The Malfoy's might be a bunch of bastards but when they want something they don't hesitate do they?"

"If I might Harry?" Remus asked.

"Sure...I asked for your help on this anyway"

"You've been in a relationship with Ginny. That didn't last really long. So think about how you felt about Ginny who you had strong enough feelings to start a relationship with."

"O.K.?" Harry said sounding uncertain.

"Now think about your feelings for Draco." Remus added looking at him and watched as Harry closed his eyes, clearly concentrating. After some time Harry opened his eyes and looked at Remus. Remus smiled back at him knowing what Harry was thinking before he said anything and Harry didn't say anything instead he jumped out of the chair he'd been sitting in. clearly emotionally upset.

"I..." Harry said then paused and added. "I gotta go find Draco, Remus thanks for the chat."

Remus had a suspicion what conclusion Harry had come to but wasn't sure so he asked him.

"Wait Harry aren't you going to tell me what...?"

"Sorry Remus." Harry interrupted him. "I promised Draco he would be the first to know when I made a decision. I've got to run now. Thanks again bye".

Then Harry ran out like Voldemort was on his heels.

"I hope he came to the right conclusion." Remus thought. "He deserves some happiness in his life."

"He did." Sirius assured him. "He's a smart boy my godson. A lot smarter than I was...and speaking of smart don't you have papers to grade? I promise I won't interrupt you."

Remus sighed and the thought of pile of papers waiting for him but knew that unfortunately Sirius was right and that he should use the opportunity since Sirius had promised not to interrupt him.

Remus went back to his classroom and sat behind the desk, grading the papers but his mind wasn't really on the subject. Telling Harry the super short version of his and Sirius's love affair had brought back memories he had tried to bury in the back of his head. And now they wouldn't leave him alone. He remembered everything. He even remembered when he met Sirius for the first time on the Hogwart's express...when they were on their way to their first year at Hogwarts.

___________________________________________________________________________

"What is that noise?" Remus thought as he looked up from the book he was reading. At that precise moment the doors to the cabin, he was sitting in, opened and inside it tumbled two boys.

Remus looked at them a bit surprised by the sudden intrusion. He saw that the boys were about to start their first year at Hogwart's judging by their black cloaks. He saw that they were laughing uncontrollably and that they looked a bit alike.

They boy that had come inside first had black hair, short and untidy like it had never seen a hairbrush. He had hazel eyes and wore glasses.

The other boy was, however, the one that really caught Remus's eye. He was so good looking that Remus's breath got caught in his throat. His looks had somewhat haughty expression over them like he considered himself a bit better than everyone else, but not a lot. His hair was black, shoulder length and was taken back with a dark blue ribbon.

"A pureblood then." Remus thought since he knew that it was a tradition amongst purebloods not to cut their children's hair short since the old believes said that a lot of magic abilities were in the hair. Remus looked at the boy more closely and he, clearly feeling Remus's gaze, turned his attention on him.

If Remus's breath had caught in his throat before then it stopped now. He had never seen such grey eyes and the boy's gaze was so intense.

"Fathomless." Was the only word Remus knew to describe it.

The grey eyed boy nudged the other boy.

"Hey James." He said. "This cabin isn't as empty as we thought it was."

"So I see." The boy called James answered.

Grey eyes turned their attention once again to Remus and put on a charming smile.

"Is it all right for us to sit here with you?" He asked Remus. "All the other cabins are pretty much full and it looks like you are here all on your own.

"Mhmm...sure." Remus told him and both boys took their seats opposite him.

"What are you reading?" James asked Remus

"Oh...Hogwart's a History. It's good to know stuff about the school you'll be spending the majority of the next seven years in." Remus told him and showed James the cover of the book.

"It is really long." The grey eyed boy remarked.

"I've read it." James said. "You gotten far?"

I'm reading about headmaster Phineas Nigellus Black." Remus told him and then added. "The guy was a real bastard. Pure blood snob too..." he said before realizing he was sitting in a cabinet with a pure blood and stopped speaking, a bit scared of the grey eyes reaction.

His two companions looked at each other and the grey eyes smirked devilishly and said.

"We haven't introduced ourselves. How rude of us. His name..." He pointed with his thumb to James sitting next to him "...is James Potter. And I am Sirius...Sirius Black."

Remus panicked.

"I'm sorry." He shrieked. "I didn't mean what I said..."

Sirius quieted him down.

"Hey...hey...don't worry about it. Really. I know the guy was a bastard, you aren't telling my any news."

Sirius stood up and held out his hand.

"It is nice to meet you..." Sirius hesitated.

"This is the part where you tell him your name." James pointed out.

"Oh yeah..." Remus said a bit shocked and very much relieved that he wasn't dead for insulting a pureblood's ancestor.

"Lupin...Remus Lupin."

"Hello Remus." Sirius said still smiling at Remus and took a seat. James stood up and shook Remus's hand too and took his seat again. For a while the boys sat silently...lost for words. Then Remus asked.

"You have a clue what house you'll be sorted into?"

"Gryffindor." James said without hesitation. "My whole family has been Gryffindor for as long as anyone can remember. You?"

"Don't have a clue. My family has been in all the houses except Slytherin. That is my father's family. My mother's family are all muggles. She's not though. The first witch in her family." Remus said. He saw how weird Sirius's expression became when he asked this question so he said carefully.

"How about you? Got a clue? I know your ancestor Phineas Black was a Slytherin but I..."

"My family are Slytherin's through and through." Sirius said sounding a bit angry at the thought. "But I really hope I'll be the one to break that tradition. I...I don't think highly of my family. Don't like what most of them have done throughout the centuries."

"Black..." James muttered to himself pondering on the name. Then seemed to realize where he had heard it and before Remus could blink James was out of his seat pointing his wand at Sirius.

"Black!" He said loudly. "My father told me about your family once. A really old, really powerful and really rich Pureblood wizard's family. And every single one of them dark wizards!"

Remus started as Sirius went pale and stuttered.

"I...I am not denying that. But I am not a dark wizard...honestly...I loathe them...all of them. I would sooner die than become like the rest of my family...please James put down your wand!" He begged James.

"You didn't know who he was?" Remus asked James.

"No I didn't...we only met an hour ago."

Remus was at loss for words. They had seemed so close when they came bursting into the cabin. Like brothers.

"I don't think he is a dark wizard James." Going for his instinct and the fact that he couldn't smell any lie coming from Sirius, Remus used his rarely used wolf olfaction to try and solve the situation. Also he would hate to see Sirus get hurt.

"I'm a pretty good judge of character..." He continued "...and my first impressions are never wrong...and my first impression of him..." Remus beckoned at Sirius "...is that he's a good person."

"Yes! That's me!" Sirius said excited. "A good person! Please James don't hex me man!"

James looked between Remus's face full of certainty, Sirus's begging and worried face and slowly lowered his wand.

"I guess...that if you really were a dark wizard you would have hexed Remus when he insulted your family. All right then." James put down his wand and sat down once again.

"Sorry" James then added in a low voice.

Sirius breathed a sigh of relieve and smiled a bit.

"Don't worry about it. Can't really blame you for your reactions. Would have done the same thing had someone introduced himself to me as a Black. But to finally answer your question Remus...I really hope I'll b e sorted into Gryffindor. Mother would get so angry and I really like the idea of being a Gryffindor."

After this small drama show the rest of the train ride was uneventful. The three boys talked and joked with each other forgetting all about the earlier scene. When it started to get dark and they saw Hogwart's in a distance, Remus changed to his schoolrobe. When he did, his jumper pulled up a bit and Sirius and James saw a scar on his torso.

"What's that?" Sirius asked pointing at the scar.

Remus pulled down his jumper blushing a bit and quickly said.

"Nothing...I...eh...fell...from a tree and on a piece of metal that ripped up my skin a couple of years ago. Got that scar after that."

"Wow" Sirius sounded both petrified of the thought and impressed.

"You could've gotten a lot worse treatment." James remarked.

"I know." Remus said feeling bad about lying to his new friends but knowing that telling the truth,"Yeah this...? I tore myself up like this when I was transforming into a werewolf during a full moon about two years ago." , wouldn't go down too well.

Remus snorted a bit at the thought of it and then finished pulling on his cloak.

When the train arrived at Hogsmeade the boy's were gathered with the rest of the first year's by the biggest man they'd ever seen who told them his name was Rubeus Hagrid and that he was the Gamekeeper or the Keeper of Keys and Grounds at Hogwart's. Hagrid then walked them down a path that lead to the lake. There a mass of boats were waiting for them. They climbed on board on one and the boats floated by themselves across the lake.

Remus knew he would never forget the sight of seeing the magnificent walls and towers of Hogwart's growing bigger by the minute as they approached the castle and from the looks on Sirius's and James's faces, neither would they.

Once inside they were greeted by the deputy headmistress Professor McGonagall. She explained to them what would happen when they would enter the Great Hall. Then she walked before them inside. Remus looked up to the enchanted ceiling right away, since he had been dying to see it ever since he read about it. Then he looked around at the house tables, wondering which one he would be sitting by soon.

McGonagall started reading up the first year's name alphabetically. When she reached the B's and read up...

"Black, Sirius!"

...Remus paid his undivided attention. Sirius looked a bit nervous but tried to smile to hide it. He walked up to McGonagall and sat down on the stool. McGonagall put the Sorting Hat on his head and for a long time everything was dead silent. Then finally after what felt like eternity the hat spoke up a bit hesitantly.

"Gryffindor!"

"He did it!"Remus thought happy for his new companion but before the Gryffindors sitting at the house table could applaud like was traditional a loud girl's voice could be heard from the other side of the Hall. From the Slytherin table.

"WHAT!" Remus saw a good looking girl with the similar superior expression like Sirius's but a lot more of it, around 16 years old and with long, blond hair, standing up yelling at McGonagall. "This is not right! He's supposed to go to Slytherin! I demand on the behalf of the Black family that he will be re-sorted immediately.

"Ms. Black." McGonagall said calmly. "The Hat is never wrong and the school rules clearly state that none can be re-sorted. One has to stay in their sorted house unless they have some really good reason to be re-sorted. Do you Mr. Black?" She asked Sirius.

Sirius stood up from the stool he had been sitting on and shrugged.

"I don't have any complaints." He started to walk towards the Gryffindor table but the blond girl McGonagall had called Ms. Black quickly left her position at the Slytherin table and ran towards him and grabbed his arm roughly.

"Sirius!" She hissed. "You will come with me and sit at the Slytherin house table! Were you belong!"

Sirius tore his hand free from the girl's grasp and told her calmly.

"I'm going to sit where I was sorted Cissy. I never wanted to be sorted into Slytherin and nothing you or anyone in our family says or does is going to change that."

Narcissa looked at him with shocked expression but she pulled herself together and glared at Sirius angrily.

"Traitor!" She hissed." Father will hear about this."

Sirius paled a bit but remained calm.

"Sit down Narcissa. This public display is embarrassing."

Narcissa glared at Sirius once more than sat down quite dramatic.

Sirius took his respective seat at the Gryffindor table and the sorting continued.

When McGonagall read Remus's name he walked up on the stage and sat down. McGonagall put the Hat on his head and when the Great Hall disappeared from Remus's sight he heard a voice in his ear.

"Remus Lupin. I thought Dumbledore was kidding when he told me a werewolf would be attending his first year at Hogwart's. But clearly he wasn't. I see that you've already formed a friendship with young Mr. Black and Mr. Potter. I've always considered it wrong to separate friends...so I guess I will put you in...GRYFFINDOR!"

Remus jumped from the stool and went to the Gryffindor table, sitting next to Sirius who smiled at him.

Nice mate. Congrats. Now we only have to hope for James not breaking the Potter tradition and the trio will be re-united in Gryffindor."

"He won't." Remus assured him.

"How do you know?" Sirius asked him.

"You'll see."

And sure enough the Sorting Hat had barely touched James's head when it shouted GRYFFINDOR! And James joined Remus and Sirius.

"Told you so." Remus said to Sirius.

"Man when you are right." Sirius said impressed. Then he smirked and added. "You know I reckon that this will be the beginning of a long and wonderful friendship."

TBC

Should I bother continuing with this story or not? What do you think? Your thoughts on the matter will be greatly appreciated.