disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters. All rights go to George R. R. Martin.
Ned was walking towards the castle after a long walk. Suddenly, he heard a shout from the nearby brothel. It sounded distinctly like Catelyn's shout. He started running towards the brothel and the shouts got louder. To his horror he heard Littlefinger moan, "It's stuck! It's too big!" He stopped at the door, paralysed in horror.
Catelyn groaned, "Gods, Littlefinger, you shouldn't have gone so hard! Your hands are so sweaty, how are you supposed to get it out?"
Then, Ned heard groaning from both as well as the sound of flesh against flesh. "Can't...get...it...out...gods, why is it so big?" Littlefinger panted.
"The hole's to small, it's to tight!" Cried Catelyn.
Ned was shocked. He had long been aware of Littlefinger's love for Catelyn but he never thought his wife would betray him. He was finally able to move. He burst the doors open and stormed in. In his rage he didn't realise that both people inside were fully dressed and had confused looks on their faces.
He grabbed Littlefinger by the neck and pushed him against the wall. "How dare you! My brother was to kind when he scarred you. I, however, won't make the same mistake. You'll be begging for death long before I grant it to you." Ned growled. He pulled out a dagger that was sticking out of the wall and pressed it against Littlefinger's stomach. "I'll start by castrating—"
"Gods, you got it out!" He heard Catelyn exclaim behind him.
"What?" He asked confused.
"The dagger. Lord Baelish threw the dagger at the wall and we were trying to get it out but his hands were to sweaty and I hurt my fingers so I couldn't do much to help. We did nothing else, I swear, my love. I swear it by the old gods and the new."
Ned looked at his beloved's eyes and in them he saw only truth. He let go of Littlefinger and looked between them and then at the dagger in his hand. The three were looking at each other, daring one to be the first to speak. Awkward.