The Ultimate Cliché
The Ultimate Cliché
Countdown: From Five To The ULTIMATE Cliché..
Hello Reader!! I hope you laugh your head off with this one…
Comes with the verdict part where I decide if I had been making or reading stories that are clichéd. Let's all admit it, loud and clear, we love making clichés and reading them.
Disclaimer: The earth is flat. The pigs are flying. And I am the proud owner of The Harry Potter Series.
5. Making Hermione suddenly drop-dead gorgeous during the summer and all the boys fall at her feet and worship the ground she walks on.(complete with OMG)
Verdict: Guilty..uhmm..plays with fingers curses I admit it…I love reading this kind of stories…
"I need to show them that I could be beautiful, I'm tired of this life I lead," Hermione decided.
She had a complete makeover. She suddenly had the longest legs and the biggest breasts known to womankind. Her hair was as straight as a post and had the loveliest shade of brown. She had the face of a goddess and knows how to put makeup.
"Just wait and I'll kill you, evil author, for messing with me," she glared complete with the murderous aura.
Ooops…let's try that again..
"Just wait when they see me tomorrow, they'll shriek and everyone will have their jaws dropped," she mutters, practically to no one.
The next morning, Ginny shouted Oh My Gawd for the whole Platform 3 and ¼'s to hear and all the boys had their jaws dropped.
4. Making Draco Malfoy the ultimate John Tucker of Hogwarts. Figuratively and Literally. (complete with OMG)
Verdict: Guilty…well..uhmm..at least I did not do it literally…though I love reading those stories…Draco is still hot and all...he's just a snob and mean and touchy…a little personality change wouldn't hurt, right?
Nod your head or die!!
"Oh come on now girls, I know you're all practically jealous, after all, I'm dating Draco Malfoy," Pansy Parkinson said with an arrogant flair.
"Oh no, you're not. I'm dating Drakie, you psycho bitch," Hannah Abbott glared dangerously.
"Oh My God, I'm totally dating him and the two of you are just Dracoholic sluts," Lavender Brown shouted.
"Girls, stop it. You know you three are being played at by that bastard," Hermione stated as- a- matter-of- factly.
Then you, of all people, know what happens next…
3. Hermione making the biggest mistake of her life by dating Ron, only to find being cheated and ran to Draco Malfoy(who secretly likes Hermione) for comfort.
Verdict: No…Never in a billion years…It's just weird and sorry for all the Ron lovers out there, but Ron just sucks ass for me. I don't like Draco being the rebound or good comfort guy.
"Oh Draco, I found Ron shagging some girl from Hufflepuff and I'm absolutely depressed but I think you're really handsome and I would want to snog you silly," Hermione said, sobbing uncontrollably in Draco's chest.
"Me too, Hermione. I really liked you since third year but I kept my love unrequited because it's so much more sad and angsty that way, so everyone would take pity on me, not you, you evil witch," Draco answered.
"Go on with the plot you idiot. You are supposed to say I have always loved you with all my heart and I have wanted to shag you since forever," Hermione said, glaring.
"Oh..okay, I have always loved you with all my heart and blond hair-
Hermione was murderous.
"What?"
"Get the blond hair part...It's supposed to be romantic."
"But I love my hair."
Hermione was ready to hex him into the next century.
"Hermione, my darling, my everything, I have always loved you and I have wanted to shag you since forever."
And off they went to the nearest broom closet and find lalaland full of babies.
2. The headboy/headgirl kind of story. They share a dorm and an adjoining bathroom.
Verdict: Guilty…I absolutely adore this kind of stories.
"Oh Em Gee, I'm so gonna find him half-naked and all hot and yummy," Hermione imagined.
"Go away..Evil thoughts…Get a life."
"You know you like him."
"Who are you?"
"I'm you. You're me."
"Fuck off, conscience."
"You're no fun at all."
Then Hermione finds out Draco also likes her and they married, had a million kids and lived happily ever after.
1. The Ultimate Cliche is: Stories About Cliched Stories!!Yippee!!rolls eyes Oh, the irony.
Verdict: Nuh-uh..I am so not guilty…Some twisted author must have made this story and controlled me(with amazing magical powers) into doing this so I could be embarrassed.
I hate you!! Damn twisted author you!! Get a life, get fucked, die and then go to hell!!
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Hugs 'n Hisses,
Apocalypse Wrath