Applie Pie Life
Dean sat there thinking of that time 3 years ago whilst hunting changelings when he knocked on Lisa's door. He remembered being overwhelmed by the feelings inside him that came rushing to the surface. He remembered their "night of my life" together 9yrs before that and thought to himself that there has never really been another girl like her. Of course he never really let any of this show as that is not how Dean Winchester does things.
As he sat on the hood of his impala, somewhere off highway 49 in the cool air of the night, he gazed at the stars above him. He was off in his own world thinking about Lisa when Sam interrupted his bliss knocking loudly on the windscreen pointing to his phone.
"Dean I found it, Bobby says there are some serious omens in South Dakota, if we go now we could make it by morning"
Sam and Dean had been hunting a crossroad demon for nearly two weeks now. Finally they had a lead. With that Dean sprang quickly of the hood and jumped into the drivers set, turning the key and smirking sideways at Sam as the engine purred to life
"Let's go get that son of a bitch Sammy!"
As they pulled onto the deserted highway, Sam opened his bag checking the Colt was still safely inside. As he lifted it from the cloth it was wrapped in Dean peered sideways at him,
"You okay Sammy?" he asked out the corner of his eye.
"Yeah" Sam sighed tracing his fingers along the barrel. "Even if we find this demon, whose to say we can undo your deal?, What if this doesn't work Dean?"
"It will, it has too" he replied with out any hesitation.
Dean had made a deal with the demon, One year in exchange for Sam's life. This was their only chance to save Dean.
As they rounded the corner, Dean raised his hand to shield the first rays of sunlight from his eyes. The town was just stirring to life. Delivery men dropping of supplies of milk to the cafe, a newspaper boy doing his rounds and people beginning to make their way to work. Slowly Dean parked the impala in front of the dinner and summoned Sam to hurry up and get out.
"Eat first, hunt second" he said sternly as Sam was about to protest not going straight after the demon.
As they sat in booth waiting for their food Dean gazed out the window, drifting off into the Lisa and Ben land he had in this head, and a smile came across his face.
"Dean, Dean" said Sam, looking at him with an eyebrow raised as he turned the laptop to face Dean.
"Are you okay?" he asked.
"Yeah" said Dean shaking his head and peering at the screen, "what ya found?"
As Sam was about to answer, he looked at Dean and noticed that something was playing on his mind, he replied
"What's up Dean, your not yourself, your off in fairy land?"
"Here you go, one pig and a poke and one orange juice" said the chubby waitress as she carefully sat down their order.
"Thanks" smiled Sam.
Dean trying to ignore Sam repeated "what ya found?"
-As night began to set in over the sleepy town Sam and Dean readied themselves inside their hotel room. Sam making the third check that the colt was safe, in case they needed it to talk this son of bitch demon around. Dean put the knife inside its sheath and checked the map to the house where the demon was hiding out.
"Lets get this show on the road Sammy" he said motioning Sam to the door. Sam sighed titling his head to the side and followed Dean out the door. Sam couldn't help but blame himself for what he had done. This whole thing, the deal, Dean's life in jeopardy was all his fault.
They drove silently to the house, though the rain and lightening. Dean parked a mile or so away, so they had the advantage of surprising the demons inside. As they made their way through a corn field towards the old run down farmhouse Sammy asked for the thousandth time
"are you sure about this Dean?" Dean stopped and turned, hitting Sam in the chest with his elbow
"enough, shut up and follow me" he growled.
They watched through the corn stalks for several minutes as two demons walked back and forth along the verandah. Dean explaining once again the plan to get past the two knuckle heads and surprise the demon inside.
After ambushing the,, they made their way through the house silently, coming to the doorway into the lounge room. Dean motioned for Sam to go on three, One, Two ... Three he signalled as they burst into the room...
With a bloodied nose, and a cut on his arm, Dean woke to Sam shouting at him.
"Dean...Dean! "
As he raised his head he cussed at demon
"Son of a Bitch!" looking at the fresh blood on his fingers from his nose. Sam had pinned the demon to the wall with the knife to its throat, and a demon trap on the floor.
"Tare up Dean's contract or I'll.."
"You'll what?" hissed the demon flashing his black eyes at Sam,
After a few minutes of salt, holy water and incantations the demon began ranting about hells big plan.
"go ahead, kill me, it won't stop. The hell hounds will still come for you Dean, and I'll have my own revenge," it growled
"Oh ..." it continued "we know all about your little women" he laughed "and the boy"
Dean knew instantly it was refering to Lisa and Ben, He had assumed as he hadn't seen them in soo long that they would be safe, and out of harms way. Before Dean could think what to do or say the demon continued to laugh and said
"hey Dean, family is everything right?" Dean turned and glared at him, confused,
The demon laughed louder at Deans confused face,
"What? ... " Dean started to say
"I thought you'd know a liar by now" I laughed. Dean was fed up hearing it's crap he grabbed the knife from Sam and thrust it harder against his throat.
"Dean" growled Sam, "No".
"You leave them out of this, they know nothing." shouted Dean.
"hahaha" laughed the demon, "flashing his black eyes at Dean. "You are mistaken Dean Winchester as to how knows nothing"
Sam could see Dean was beginning to loose his temper and knew he had to take this situation into his own hands before Dean went too far and lost his chance. Sam continued to torture the demon until it undid Dean's deal and reversed the contract. Then drove the knife through it's chest.
_As they stumbled to the impala, exhausted Sam could not help but smile, as they had succeed in saving his brother, and ridding the world of another few demons. The wind blew Sam's hair out of his face and he turned to Dean and was about to ask if he was okay, when he noticed that the expression on Deans face was one of worry and angst.
"Dean, it's okay, we did it, you're gunna be fine. ...What's wrong?"
Dean didn't turn to look at Sam, he shook his head slightly and thumped the wheel with his fist.
"What did he mean Sammy?" Dean replied thumping the wheel again clearly annoyed.
"Who the demon Dean? Come on you know you can't believe a word they say about anything! "
"Sammy he..." Dean paused feeling a lump in this throat, "he..."
"He what Dean? He said a lot of crap things, What's got you so worried?" before Dean could answer Sam answered his own question,
"Lisa, isn't it, you think they're gunna go after Lisa?"
Dean's eyes never moved from the road ahead, "You were right Sammy, I should never have gone to see her, I've put them in danger"
Sam tried to reassure Dean for hours, but could see he was getting no where. Finally he suggested that they drive up there and check on her and Ben. Knowing that was probably the only thing that would put Deans mind at rest.
"Well at least call her Dean" he pleaded.
Dean sat on the end of the bed, looking at his phone,
"and say what Sammy? I made a deal with a demon and put you and Ben in danger, just checking your still alive?" he said sarcastically with a forced grin.
"Ah" grunted Sam "Fine sleep on it then" Sam murmured as he rolled into bed exhausted.
Dean lay in the darkened hotel room, replaying the demon's words over and over in this mind. He sat up sharply, as he recalled part of its ranting.
"you are mistaken Dean Winchester as to how knows nothing" rang like thunder though his head.
"Sammy, Sammy" he shouted patting Sam's bed.
"What, what" yelled Sam as shot out bed brandishing the colt as he was expecting to see a demon or something.
"Remember what it said?" he paused "It said you are mistaken Dean Winchester as to how knows nothing." Dean sat looking at his brother waiting for some sort of Samuel Winchester reasoning.
"And..." answered Sam, not sure what his brother was waiting for,
"What if,... What if it meant I was right, What if Ben is my son? What if Lisa lied to me?"
"Dean... Dean" replied Sam as Dean got up from the bed and started to pace. "you said Lisa told you Ben's father was some guy at a rough biker bar that came through town, Why would she lie to you Dean?"
"I dunno Sammy ...to protect me maybe. She knows I'm a hunter and that's what I have to do, she could be trying to protect me from feeling obligated to stay with her or something" he grabbed his bag off the floor and started to pack his stuff inside.
"whoa whoa Dean, why don't you just call her"
"I gotta ask her again... face to face Sammy" He replied throwing Sam's bag at him as a signal to pack cause they were leaving.
_It was close to 400 miles to Lisa's, so Sam settled down in his seat closing his eyes. Meanwhile Dean's thoughts were flicking between the demon's words and they last time he saw Lisa. He had had a gut feeling the first time he saw Ben 3 yrs ago, that he was his, and he secretly wished he was but Lisa had always been adamant that Dean was wrong.
He stopped the car across the street from the house, and sat looking at the front door, as Sam opened his eyes rubbing them and squinting at the sun light.
"We here already?" he asked, clearing his throat.
Dean didn't answer, didn't even look at him.
"Go on then", said Sam looking at the White Picket Fence type house, "What are you waiting for Dean?"
Dean reached for the door handle and opened the car door. He placed a foot on the road, summoning the courage inside and trying to get the speech he had rehearsed all the way there right in this head. Just as he closed the door on the impala and took a step towards the house the front door swung open and out ran Ben with a schoolbag on his back shouting
"hurry up mum, we're late"
Dean froze as he watched Ben running toward the car in the driveway, not sure whether to get back in the car and hope he isn't spotted by Ben or Lisa or keep walking forwards. But before he could make up his mind Lisa appeared in the doorway, She instantly saw the shinny black impala parked across the street and Dean, standing in the middle of the street frozen watching Ben.
Inside her she felt a warm rush, and a smile appear on her face. But then suddenly her mind raced as to why Dean Winchester was standing outside her house. Was something awful happening again like the last time she saw him? As she pulled the door closed she called out,
"Dean"
He turned to see Lisa, She was beautiful as always, dressed in tight jeans, brown boots and a puffy jacket. Her hair blowing in the breeze.
"Hey" Dean finally managed as he walked slowly towards her. She stood at the bottom of the steps with a look of dread on her face.
"Ben, Ben come here" she called as Ben jumped out of the car after seeing Dean. He ran towards him.
"Dean Dean" shouted Ben opening his arms to hug Dean.
"Hi buddy" answered Dean hugging him back while locking eyes with Lisa.
"What are you doing here Dean? What's wrong?" She asked motioning for Ben to come to her.
"Um, nothing" he replied sheepishly with a grin on his face. What was it about Lisa? Something about this girl made him feel like a teenager again. He was nervous around her and found it hard to find the right words.
"I mean I just wanted to stop in, Sammy and I were in town" he lied nodding to the impala and Sam.
"Oh ...well I'm just about to take Ben to school, can you wait?" she asked knowing something was definitely up with Dean.
"um yeah" Dean nodded as Ben rolled his eyes at having to go to school.
But before Lisa could tell Ben to get in the car, Sam appeared next to Dean with the keys to the impala in his hand.
"I'll take him, while you two catch up" Sam smiled at Lisa.
"Um okay "she shrugged looking at Dean "Honey ... Sam's gunna take you to school okay?"
"OH AWESOME" he yelled as he realised that he was going in he impala. Sam smiled as he guided Ben to the car across the street.
Lisa stood arm's folded, looking Dean in the eye,
"What is it? What's wrong? You're not here for a social visit Dean ... Is it bad?" she asked. Dean could see the fear on her face.
"No Lisa, no monsters this time, I ... ah.. I" he stumbled. She could see how uneasy he was and knew while it might not be something dangerous, it was something important. She put her hand gently on his arm guiding him inside the house out of the cold.
She closed the door, and reached out to hug him, "It's good to see you Dean" she said wrapping her arms around him. She closed her eyes in bliss feeling his strong body against hers again and smelled the familiar scent of his leather jacket. She looked up at him as he looked down at her, time seemed to slow down just for a second. She couldn't help her next action as she guided her hand up to his neck and pulled him down softly to kiss her. "Dean" she whispered, "I miss you". Dean didn't answer but pulled her back in and kissed her gently.
"um so" she said as she pulled away and headed for the lounge, "what is it that has Dean Winchester speechless?"
"I ... ah .. well" he stumbled again. Dean was kicking himself inside, why was he stumbling over his words like a nervous virgin on a first date?
"Yes .." she encouraged. He took a deep breath and decided he better start at the start and tell her about the deal he made to save Sam. As Dean sat telling her about the demon and the deal he noticed tears welling up in Lisa's eyes. He moved closer to her and took her hands in his.
"its okay we caught up with the son of a bitch in South Dakota, He undid my contract ... I'm okay Lisa" he reassured her. She hugged him as a stray tear ran down her cheek.
"Then why are you here? What's wrong Dean you're scaring me?"
"Well, when you get a demon in a tight squeeze they start to talk, and most of time they talk crap to get to you, and try to unsettle you" he explained
"and" she encouraged.
"look" Dean started his eyes shifting to floor as he summoned the courage to tell her how he felt., "the whole crazy situation, one year to live and all that, well it got me thinking. When I picture myself happy Lisa, I mean no more hunting, no more monsters just an ordinary life. I picture it with you and the kid." "You ..." he started, taking both her hands in his. "You make me happy, and ..." he knew how his heart felt, he knew he was in love with Lisa and probably always would be, he just was having trouble saying the words. Dean Winchester had never told a girl he loved her before!
Lisa put her hands on his cheeks,
"Dean..." she said looking him right in the eye, "please just tell me and don't sugar coat it" she pleaded, expecting the next bit to be something really bad for her and Ben.
"Well this demon said he knew about you and Ben. He ... ahhh ...used you as a threat" Dean explained.
"So what Dean a demon's after us?" she said as her voice tightened.
"No no, its okay Sammy killed it, you guys are safe"
"Then what Dean?, why are you here?" Dean had only ever seen her so concerned once before, when Ben was kidnapped by a changling.
"Well..." he began again trying his hardest t concentrate and just say it "it mentioned Ben, and ... um"
He looked up from the rug and right into her dark brown eyes,
"It said I ... um... that I knew nothing... I think the demon was telling me I knew nothing because it was implying that you and Ben are "family" Lisa, and I've been thinking about it a lot. My gut told me the first time I saw him... I gotta know am I'm Ben's father?".
Dean sat and watched as Lisa's eyes move away from his,
"I know you said Ben's father is some guy you meet in a biker bar and I'm off the hook, But really Lisa what else did this demon mean...I just gotta know. Is Ben my son?" she let go of his hand, stood up and moved towards the window.
He stood and followed her. Unsure whether to touch her, or say anything he stood behind her for a moment. When he saw her shudder, he knew she was crying, he reached out and spun her around, wrapping his strong arms around her and just held her while she cried.
"Dean ...I ... I'm sorry, I should have been honest with you... I ...I just thought ..."
"shhhhhhh" Dean whispered as he held her tighter.
"It's okay, I had to know for sure Lisa". Under any other circumstance Dean Winchester would be furious about being lied to, but at that moment he didn't feel any anger, he just wanted to hold her, and a part of him was happy that he was right. And in that moment he understood why she had lied, and knew it wasn't to protect him but to protect Ben.
"I ... I" Lisa started as she pulled out form Dean. "If you only knew how many times 8yrs ago I dialled your number then hung up" she said softly. "I wanted you to know more than anything that you were a father, I wanted you here... I just ..." she started to sob again.
"There never was a guy in a biker bar Dean, just you and that weekend 9 yrs ago"
"I know , I know" Dean reassured her.
"I never wanted to lie Dean, I just thought it was best for all of us if you didn't know... and I know that was wrong, you ... you" she began to cry again and Dean moved to her again holding her tightly.
"It's okay, I get it ...you were looking out for Ben" he said quietly. "He's a great kid Lisa, I'd be proud to call him my son"
As she cried she looked up at Dean
"You know every time I look at him Dean I see you. Ben is how I've kept you around all this time".
"You know you could have just called" Dean joked smiling at her. She broke into a laugh, still with tears running down her cheek.
They stood for what seemed like forever just holding each other, when finally Dean looked down at her, carefully wiping her tears away with his palm.
"So ... what now? He asked "Where to from here?"
Lisa didn't want to let go of him, but slowly moved back and sat on the edge of the chair.
"I ... um ... I don't know Dean. You know I want you to stay here with Ben and I, but I know you're gunna say you can't"
She looked at him, and watched as he swallowed hard and looked down at his feet. It was almost like he was avoiding her eyes while he thought about what to do. He had planned in his head how he was going to ask Lisa about Ben but hadn't though about what he would do if she told him it was all true.
The demon had been right about something...Family was everything to Dean and even though he never saw it coming, Lisa and Ben were exactly that, his family. He knew in his heart that he truly loved Lisa. He also knew he would never feel that way about anyone else. Ben meant everything to him, he really adored that kid and felt himself smile as he realised he had a son. For a spilt second he started to drift into the land in his head, where he married Lisa and lived the "White Picket Fence" dream with her and Ben, but then he heard Bobby's voice in his head saying "no hunter can have an apple life Dean". He knew then he had a choice to make. Leave Lisa and Ben and never see them again to keep them safe, or leave Sam and hunting.
He scuffed a foot on the rug and looked back at Lisa. He knew she needed him, she wanted him and he couldn't bring himself to even think of walking away. He took a step to her and bent down.
"Lisa" he said taking her hands again, "this is ...um..." he swallowed hard as he tried to get the words right in his head. "I don't... no ... I'm not just gunna up and leave... I'm here and I have a son ..." he said as a smile broadened across his face and he opened his arms, "I can't walk away from that, Lisa. I wanna be a part of Ben's life. I want him to know me. I want to be a father to him" he continued as she watched him stand up and start to pace. She thought briefly about interrupting him to say something but decided she wanted to hear what he was thinking.
"I want to teach him things, take him places, all the things a real dad does", she could she that Dean was genuine and even see the excitement in his eyes.
He stopped pacing and got on both knees in front of her again.
It was almost like he was intoxicated by her and this situation.
"I love you Lisa" he blurted out as he pulled her to him,
"This is the only place in the world where I am truly happy, here with you and Ben" he smiled. She pulled his lips to hers and kissed him slowly, answering him through the kiss, telling him everything he needed to know.
As he stood up and sat beside her, she knew she had to ask, the one thing that had kept her from telling Dean the truth 9 yrs ago.
"What if Bobby is right though Dean? What if a hunter can't have that apple pie life?"
Dean knew Bobby was right, at least in a way. Having a wife and children only makes them big fat targets. His own father had managed though, to raise him and Sam safe and Dean figured that if John managed to hunt and raise two boys then he could make it work with Lisa and Ben. BUT the big road block in Dean's mind was he didn't want Ben to go down the same road he did. He didn't want his son becoming a hunter. He wanted Ben to have normal life, got o school, college, get a job, get married and have kids. He raced in his own mind thinking about how he would do it. What would Sam say? Would he stop hunting all together? Would he let Sam hunt on his own? He knew he had to pull himself together and take it one step at a time.
"Lisa, let's just go one little bit at a time. We can't rush into any decision, this is a lot to work out" he said he looked at the picture of Lisa and Ben on the wall, imagining himself in that picture.
He started to chuckle to himself.. and Lisa looked at him a little confused,
"what?" she asked tilting her head a little,
"hmm... Uncle Sam" he giggled smiling at Lisa.
She laughed out loud and held Dean close, "What's he gunna say?"
Dean pulled back from Lisa's kiss as he heard the Impala pulling up outside.
"Oh," she sighed, and smiled at the same time.
"what?"
"I was enjoying that Dean Winchester" she answered, kissing him softly again as he began to stand up.
"Do you know what you are gunna say to him?" she asked
"Nope," he winked at her and headed for the door, turning back to Lisa
"give me 5" he smiled. She nodded silently. As he closed the door she watched him from the window. She was nervous; her hands trembled as she wondered what he was telling Sam. What was Sam saying to Dean? What decision would Dean make?
She could make out part some of words Sam was saying,
"yeah he's fine" obviously Ben thought Lisa,
"So ... how'd it go?" followed by Sam raising this eyebrows looking surprised. He told him she thought as she cracked open the window a little and waited to hear Dean's next move.
"Really?"replied Sam sounding surprised. "You're a father Dean?" he said.
"Yeah Sammy ... I am" replied Dean smiling.
"wow..." as Sam scuffed his shoe on the grass he repeated himself "wow"
"what?" asked Dean
"Nothin' ... I Just ..."
"what Sammy?"
"Well I never pictured you as a dad before Dean that's all".
As Sam looked back at Dean he knew that his brother was struggling. Struggling to make a decision, he moved closer and sat next to him on the hood of the impala.
"So ... what does this mean Dean? What are you gunna do?"
"I ah, I don't know Sammy, I can't just up and leave, I really care about them, they're my family too. I gotta protect them, look after them... "
"But you know what's gunna happen Dean, they're gunna use them, as targets, as bait, or anything that gets all the monsters out there closer to us!" he said moving his hands in a big wide gesture.
Lisa sat on the window ledge listening to Sam quizzing Dean about what Dean was gunna do. She knew Sam was right, But she also realised how much Dean Winchester loved her and Ben.
"Look Sammy...I'm ahh...I'm gunna need a few days here to work this out" he said squinting at Sam.
"Yeah of course I get it"
Dean nodded towards the Impala "why don't you head north and go see Sarah...um... What's her name?"
"Blake... "answered Sam.
"right, right" Dean nodded.
"Give me til Sunday..." he called as Sam got back in the car and started the engine.