glee is my new obsession..
Mr. Schuester rubbed his forehead for a long time. He clenched his eyes shut, and breathed as evenly as he possibly could. He didn't know quite how long he stayed in that position for. Maybe several of the teaching staff had passed by and silently debated asking what was wrong, but chose to continue going home.
That was the problem. William Schuester wasn't sure where home was anymore. It definitely was not in his empty and lonely apartment. He would have said the choir room, surrounded by the laughter and voices of his glee kids, but lately, that wasn't a place that was necessarily a happy atmosphere.
All of the kids were going through things he didn't even want to begin to dig through. They were lashing out and giving up, to whatever was tearing them each individually apart. Some of them were easy to see, like Quinn writing the list or Kurt singing to Finn. But then others like Puck and Rachel and Artie, all seemed to have this underlying pain in their eyes, that for the life of him, Will couldn't figure out. He was fighting so hard for something that seemed to just be ruining every aspect of his life.
They were sad, and he could see it. That, more so then Emma breaking up with him or Sue, was by far the hardest part. He tried as hard as he possibly could to lift their spirits, but he could feel them crumbling under the weight of high school rules and stereotypes.
His face remained in his hands, until he would forget about everything and finally feel at ease, however he knew the overwhelming thoughts would never stop. Eventually, he gave up and wrenched his eyes open with a long, frustrated sigh.
His now tired and foggy eyes blinked several times, readjusting to the light. He sensed someone at the door and he quickly straightened up and shifted his gaze to the open door.
A slight shock went through him as he noticed a tall, yet slender girl standing hesitantly at the door. She seemed just as nervous when they finally met eyes. Mr. Schue could clearly tell she was a student, and a younger one at that, so he immediately stood up and formed that fake, welcoming smile on his face.
"May I help you?" he asked gently, squinting his eyes just the slightest in confusion.
The young teenager took a tiny step into the choir room, ducking her eyes to the floor. She shakily tucked her hair behind one ear, and spoke in a barely audible whisper.
" Hi, Mr. Schuester, my name's Haley Moyen," she said with a tiny head nod in his direction. She cleared her throat and said in a level louder, "I heard about the Glee club and I was just wondering if there was anyway, I could..." she paused and her cheeks flushed red as she struggled for words, " If I could join?"
Mr. Schue was taken aback at the very sudden and random request. He didn't respond for a while as he attempted to understand this girl who he had quite literally never knew existed until now. He just stood there silently, his mouth hanging open, until he saw Haley's eyes awkwardly move to the floor and watch her take a baby step back wards.
He quickly came back to his senses, and gestured his hand out, in a motion for her to stay. Without even thinking about it, he rubbed his palm over his face again and through his hair. Opening his hands out in something like guilt and apology and confusion, he said, " Well, uhm, how old are you Haley?"
She looked up at him with wide eyes like she had been caught with a crime. "I'm a freshman, so fourteen," Haley said, getting quieter as she spoke.
Will smiled sympathetically, and as he told her, something about her face, made him feel truly sorry. "I'm very sorry Haley, you seem like a lovely girl, but New Directions was really only opened for juniors and seniors. Maybe in a couple years..." He took a step closer to her, and searched for something else to say, but nothing seemed to suffice for such a strange situation.
Haley quickly squeezed her eyes shut, and opened them very fast, as if she had gotten the blow she had been expecting.
"I.. I know, and I'm really sorry for just asking like this. It's just, I really, really need to join an after school activity, and I swear I would be super committed. I can get recommendations and report cards, if you need to see," she said in a rush, clearly pulling out everything she could think of. The desperation and longing in her voice was evident, but then the next words to come from her mouth were as though to say them was to swallow a vial of poison; " I really want, to be part... of New Directions."
Her eyes dropped to the floor, a long lock of brown hair falling down to cover her violently red cheeks. Mr. Schuester again failed to think of a proper response. Something about this girl made it seem as though she very much desired – needed, more so - to join Glee. While, at the same time, she was dreading just asking.
"Haley, in the politest way possible, I didn't even know who you were until now. Why do you wish to join Glee so much? If it's for music, there are plenty of other musical programs you can take part in, but something tells me... this is a bit more than music." Mr. Schuester said softly, looking into her eyes searchingly.
Haley raised a slender hand to her hair and gently strung it behind her ear. She shakily crossed her thin arms across her chest, and released a long, nervous breath.
"My dad works a couple jobs, and one of them is right when school gets out," she began hesitantly. Will didn't understand what this had to do with anything, and he cocked his head to the left in confusion.
"We live really far from the school, and technically, my school isn't supposed to be McKinely. I live near Jane Adams and Saunders Secondary," she said with a sigh. Mr. Schue could feel his face lighten with understanding. Saunders was easily the roughest public school in the town. Exceptionally rough, even for Lima, Ohio.
"My dad and my elementary teachers spoke to Mr. Figgins and I guess because my grades are really good, I got special permission to come here instead. Except, I have no bus. So my dad has to give me rides, but, uhm .. he can't. Not 'till fourth thirty, anyway. He really wants me to get involved in something that's free, and can 'keep me out of trouble'," Haley paused, seeming partly relieved to have the story off her chest, but at the same time even more scared of what was next.
"My dad's only thirty. I haven't seen my mom in a couple years," she said heavily, and he could tell her story was done.
Will's mind reeled, quickly doing the mental math. Thirty subtract fourteen was sixteen. His mind quickly flashed to Quinn and Puck. Working three jobs, living in the worst part of town. Haley's father was obviously the single parent of a teenage pregnancy.
It felt weird viewing it from this angle. After everything he had gone through with Quinn and Puck, and all that stuff on MTV now a days, with teenage pregnancies, you always managed to think about the sixteen year old who was pregnant. Thinking about the baby, who would one day be in high school, seemed surreal.
Mr. Schue realized his mouth was once again gapping open. He looked at the tall, slim girl standing in front of him. She had long, slightly wavy brown hair. It was shiny and thick, but nothing more. Her skin was a milky white, and her eyes were a "somewhere- between- blue and green". At first glance, she was pretty but not gorgeous. She wore a pair of nice jeans with a casual off the shoulder top. Everything about her was average. Nothing special. But at the same time everything about Haley Moyen intrigued you. It made you want to look at her until you would find nothing average about her, until everything you saw was perfection.
Even the way she stood was average. Her petite shoulders slouched just the tiniest, and her long fingers fiddled awkwardly. Her long, dark lashes remained glued to the floor, and her face was an unconfident grimace. Definitely not the look of a soloist.
However, amongst this shyness, something about her made it seem simply humble. Like there was something beneath the guard, that she was simply too kind to brag about. William could already feel himself melting for this awkwardly charasmatic girl, with a story that would probably make Oprah tear.
He sighed, defeated. "Okay, we can always make exceptions. But as much as I don't want to do this, you do technically have to sing to get in," he said looking sadly into her terrified face. "Just one quick song, to make sure you have a little bit of potential... which I'm sure you do," he said, begging that she wasn't completely awful.
Haley nodded numerous times, mostly to motivate herself, he thought. He sat down in the nearest choir chair, clenching his fists tight and rigid. She tenatively walked over to the piano. This surprised him. She ran her fingers over the keys, many times, as if trying to get a feel for them. With one long, shaky and fearful breath, she locked eyes with him.
She was waiting, for something, he wasn't too sure. An awkward silence filled the room, as neither person was sure how to react, or what to do next. Hoping to calm her down, and ease the tension, he asked her, "What song will you sing?"
Another building- up - breath, " Forever and Almost Always, by Kate Voegele."
He nodded appreciatively, though he barely knew who Kate Voegele was. Two things he subconciously noted however, was whoever Kate Voegele was, she was definitely not a pop artist, radio sensation. So, Haley must have some form of unique taste in music. Secondly, she had not planned on giving the name of the song to him. It was a refreshing break from the glee club kids, who insisted on being noticed in every possible way, craving for attention, even if just with the title of the song.
"Whenever you're ready," he said, motioning forward with his hands, doing his best to look welcoming and pleasant.
Her hands drifted over the white keys once more, before settling on the middle, and floating for a moments time. In one quick movement, the rich and clear piano sounds filled the choir room.
It was soft and gentle, yet defined and bold at the same time. Subtly beautiful. The perfect description of Haley Moyen.
And then, her voice filled the room, and tangled into the piano melody with grace.
Her voice was something completely different. Not the tone, or the skill of it. Just the overall humbleness. All the glee kids tried so hard to be the best. Sang the loudest, hit the highest notes, did the most refs.
Haley's voice was sweet and clear, with the slightest rasp to it. She jumped from note to note with ease, not too edgy, but with a good amount of substance. Her softness was stunning. The innocence of it made you want to cry and smile at the same time. However, during the chorus and more dramatic points, as her volume increased, the power of her gentle voice was astonishing. It was not weak, but never felt forced. He immediately thought of honey or cutting cream; rich, but easy.
Once he had gotten used to the overall shock of her voice, he began to actually look at Haley. She held her eyes shut for much of the song, and when they were open they glanced off into the distance, seeming to look into a memory. Her hands moved gracefully over the keys, mesmorizingly. But her passion, was the strongest. Something about every word and every note, was ten times better because of the meaning behind it. William found himself thinking about the actual song lyrics, more than he ever had.
"In the corner of my mind, I know too well, Oh that surely even I, deserve the best ...
But instead of leaving, I just put the issue to bed, And out of my head, Oh and just when I believe, you've changed for good. Well you go and prove me wrong just like I knew you would ... When I've run out of second chances, you give me that look, And you're off the hook,
Because you'll be mine Forever and Almost Always, And I'll be fine, just love me when you can...
And I'll wait patiently, I'll wake up everyday
Just hoping that, you still care..."
Without thinking about it, the words forced his thoughts to drift to a place he really didn't want to be. He began thinking about Terri, and realizing how well the song fit his relationship with her. For a fraction of a second, he began to feel angry and annoyed with Haley for making him feel like this. As he listened more and more to the song, he slowly came to the realization of how wonderful Haley was as a musician for making him feel like that.
That was music. Music brought out the happiest, saddest, best and worst memories, but most importantly, they helped you understand and deal with those memories. That's what a good song, a good artist did. And that is what Haley was doing.
With a new sense of understanding, he looked back to Haley, really trying to see her. She had the same pain in her eyes, but also the same acceptance in the way she sang. She was much more relaxed while she sang than she had been sharing her story with him.
Too fast, the song's final notes were recognized, and her soft voice fell the silence.
She paused and looked down at the keys. Her eyes were wide, and she was flushed, but not with embarassment now. Slowly and cautiously, she turned to Will. He looked at her in new light.
Now he saw what he was fighting for. He was fighting for kids like Haley. Kids who struggled walking down the halls or finding their place to belong, but felt at home on stage. Those kids like Haley, who despite everything, were not eaten completely by the hardships they faced, but who remained alive and bright on stage. The kids who still had that tiny glimmer of hope in their eyes because of music.
A smile erupted across his recently weary features.
"Practice is tomorrow, after school," he told her contently, feeling like he had given but received the best present of all.
For the first time since Mr. Schuester had laid eyes on Haley Moyen, her full, rose lips burst into a genuine smile. A smile of accomplishment, and even happiness. And with her smile, you saw one of the many things that was intriguing about her. Because underneath the hesitance and utter averageness of Haley, there was a million things that were so special.
As she turned to the door, and began walking out, William Schuester became determined that he would uncover to the world, at least one of those many special things.
Before she was completely gone, Mr. Schue called out, without thinking, "Haley, who were you thinking about when you sang that?"
She turned slowly, and carefully, deciding whether to lie or be honest. She locked eyes with him, and said softly, "My mom."
He nodded in understanding, simply saying, "My wife, well ex-wife."
She smiled at him sadly, but with a complete sense of acceptance. "Just one of those people, you'll always love, no matter what they do," she said.
He nodded again, and even let out a husky chuckle. He thought of poor Quinn, and Rachel, and Puck, Kurt, Finn, and now Haley.
"You're going to be a great fit for New Directions, Haley."