I do not own Warriors or Hetalia: Axis Powers. Sadly. But soon, I will. *smiles evilly*

Just joking.

Jayfeather stroked his stick lovingly. Its beautifully textured bark, its wonderfully shaped body, the aged grooves carved in long ago by Rock… "Wait a second," Jayfeather muttered, "this isn't my stick!" Turning to the country beside him, he said: "Ludwig, we'd better trade."

"Of course," Germany replied. "Herr Stick's bark is smoother than this." As they swapped their sticks, Jayfeather picked up a cup of tea with his other paw and began sipping it, despite having no opposable thumbs and being blind.

"Hey! Just because I'm blind doesn't mean I can't become a tea connoisseur!" Jayfeather snapped. "Who are you talking to anyway?" Germany inquired. "Just the authoress," Jayfeather replied, to the utmost confusion of Germany. "By the way, do you want to know a recipe for cupcakes?"

Meanwhile, behind a bush just outside Germany's house…

"Shush, Hollyleaf, I'm trying to listen!" Lionblaze growled. The tom was perched precariously on the top of a random garden gnome which possessed a maniacal leer. "Traitor to the warrior code!" Hollyleaf snarled angrily. "How dare he consort with that twoleg! And share Firestar's cupcake recipe with him too!" "Wait, what?" Lionblaze gasped. "Firestar makes cupcakes?" "That's not the point! Anyway, we'd better bring him back to Firestar for selling out Thunderclan's secret to world domination!" Following that, Hollyleaf let out an evil laugh that caused Lionblaze to shudder. "Remember, schedule her mental health appointment with Leafpool as soon as possible," he noted to himself.

Just then, Hollyleaf's ears perked up as she began to creep towards a small yellow chick flitting about near a tall twoleg who was just passing their hiding place. "Stop, what are you doing?" Lionblaze hissed as he attempted to pull Hollyleaf back into the cover of the bush, hampered by his lack of opposable thumbs.

But, it was too late. As Hollyleaf leapt from the bush and towards the bird, it turned its head around three hundred and sixty degrees and used its eyes to fire out concentrated beams of awesome into Hollyleaf. The she-cat collapsed into the ground mid-leap with a sickening crunch, squashing Lionblaze under her bulk. "Ow!" Lionblaze yowled. "You really need to lay off the freshkill, Hollyleaf!"

An ominous shadow fell on Lionblaze as he struggled to get up. All he heard was an evil sounding "kesesese" before the twoleg bonked him over his head with a large rifle, knocking him unconscious. Still laughing, the twoleg threw the bodies of the two cats over his shoulder as he headed for the front door, with the yellow chick still flying beside him.

Back in Germany's house…

Between sips of tea, Jayfeather and Germany discussed the aspects of stick-husbandry, with bark conditioning, wood cleaning, and of course, the all important polishing. Suddenly, the door was kicked open, and Prussia strode in with Gilbird fluttering about his head and two cats slung over his back, which Jayfeather instantly recognized as Hollyleaf and Lionblaze. "Wh-what?" Prussia gaped at the strange sight of a cat drinking tea with his brother in the living room while having a discussion about their sticks.

Before Jayfeather could say or do anything, Prussia screamed loudly before fainting clean away, dropping Hollyleaf and Lionblaze onto the ground as he did so. "Well," said Jayfeather, "since my incompetent littermates are here, I'd better get going. Firestar will become suspicious if I stay too long. You can introduce us next time." Sighing, he hopped off the settee and grasped his stick in his mouth, as well as the pelts of his siblings, and slowly ambled off.

Germany glanced at the prone body of his brother. He had a lot of explaining to do when Prussia woke up.

Heh, hope you enjoyed the story. Side effects of reading this include: insanity, a sudden craving for tea, trying to shoot beams of AWESOME from your eyes, and attempting to spy on siblings to check that they have not been meeting up with Jayfeather. Hope you enjoyed it! Spare a review for a poor authoress?