A/N: Happy Birthday MoonCat! This is the first in a series of drabbles regarding Derek's thoughts of various subjects. This nearly killed my brain meats . . . I'm sooo glad coffee exists. Well, I hope you like your present and I hope everyone else likes it too!
And Thus I See
Healing Touch
Relax . . . focus . . . concentrate . . .
Derek sighed as he felt the shape he knew so well trace over his mind. There were no patients before him, no sounds of life monitoring machines around him, and even the clothes that wafted around his frame in the night's gentle breeze were not those of a doctor. Instead, he was surrounded by the barren rooftop of his apartment complex, the frantic cries of traffic murmured up from the street level yet it sounded almost gentle from where he stood. Neon lights from the taller buildings that surrounded it spilled onto the roof boastfully, and he could almost feel the colors from the various signs pouring over him as they melded into a faint, speckled rainbow on the concrete.
Looking down, he would have seen his shadow sprawled out in several directions and shades, perhaps even finding himself a bit startled at his unusual adornment of normal clothing.
But he saw none of that. His focus was on one thing, and one thing only.
Relax . . . focus . . . concentrate . . .
A cringe swept his face as a chilling tingle pricked his forehead. In the midst of his twitching knotted brow, which was quickly becoming dotted with sweat, his skin washed itself pale. His closed eyes flickered in feeble contrast to his fists, which both dangled in a tight clench at his sides.
Relax . . .
Derek sucked in a slow breath through his teeth as he tried to smooth out the tightness in his body. His fingers uncurled, twitching raggedly as they fought the urge to clench again. The crinkles on his forehead let up slowly, though his brows remained tensed as he pursed his mouth into a thin line. Through his gentle yet insistent grip of control, his mind reached out to sip the cerulean waters that stirred before him.
For a brief moment his tongue darted out as though it could catch the refreshing flavor. Perhaps it had done just that, for it trickled soothingly down his throat, further dulling the bark of angry traffic from below. A shaky breath flowed from him as he lowered his head, the gentle tickle from his wind swept bangs calming him further.
Healing Touch . . .
Upon opening his eyes, Derek saw the celestial turquoise cast a thin coat over the cityscape, conforming to and swirling around the various shapes of buildings and other objects. The previous tremble in his fingers relented as he drank in another breath and walked to the roof's edge. He peered over, wincing slightly as the contorted twist of colorful lights stung his eyes. They adjusted quickly, allowing for a brief laugh as he watched the world below him slow to a crawl.
He enjoyed looking out over the city and literally watching over the people he had sworn to take care of. It was one of his favorite parts of his nightly rituals as he took time to strengthen and practice his extraordinary mental ability. Watching the world through the Healing Touch allowed him to see everything in a different perspective, scrutinizing every detail, nook and cranny from the vantage point of his apartment building. Were it not for that, he may have never noticed the tiny Italian restaurant on the corner, which quickly turned into one of Angie's favorite places to eat after he had taken her out to dinner there.
Another soft chuckle escaped him. He placed his hands on the guard rail and leaned over slightly, seeing if he could make out the thick stream of pedestrians below. It made him feel so alive, just being able to indulge in the little things and pick up details that ordinary people missed out on.
Ordinary . . .
His lips fell into a small frown and he took a step back, his head growing light as he tilted his gaze towards the stars. Ordinary . . . . the word whispered relentlessly in his mind. He pushed his bangs back as though trying to sweep the thought from his head. But, it was a persistent one and continued to claw at him, eventually drawing forth a perturbed crinkle of his brow. True, having his ability made him . . . well . . . different, but it was not as though he was unique in that aspect. There were others, Dr. Hoffman and Naomi to name a few, and he was sure that there more gifted with this ability walking the earth, whether they were aware of their powers or not. That is all the Healing Touch was . . . a gift, one that he swore to use for the benefit of humanity until his dying breath.
A gift . . . right?
The power of Asclepius . . .
"Heh . . ." Derek scoffed gently. The smile from his amused breath was quick to die, leaving it to return to a frown. The thought had crossed his mind many times before, each time he tried to shake it off with a nonchalant breath and each time it drew a shudder from him. This night was no exception as he gnawed on his lip. He was not even completely sure why the thought bothered him so much. It was nothing to get upset over. "This is stupid." he sighed as he shook his head slowly. "I'm wasting time. I need to pay attention."
Though the tint of blue still swirled around him, he closed his eyes, returning to the meditative state necessary for nurturing his Healing Touch.
Relax . . . focus . . . concentrate . . .
Relax . . . focus . . . concentrate . . .
Relax . . .
"You couldn't concentrate to save your life."
He let out a somber sigh, refusing to open his eyes even as they fluttered beneath his lids. It was not as much the irony of the statement that had gotten to him, but rather the thoughts that came bubbling up from his mind, further churning the celestial blue. Invoking the Healing Touch to this degree could be dangerous. It required a vigilant balance of serenity and strength, not like the intense focus he used in the heated moments of a desperate operation. It left him vulnerable, his mind open to the darkness of his most horrible nightmares. In spite of the dangers, neglecting his mental exercises was too risky.
A power like this was not one to be taken lightly. So many referred to it as a gift, and Derek had to agree with them. It was – it let him save so many lives.
Yet, there were times when he wondered . . .
He wondered . . .
"You won't get anywhere if you try to take in everything at once."
It was only upon the reluctant open of his eyes did he realize his mental mantra had spilled onto his lips. He looked back up at the sky, the stars a backdrop to the silky blue curtain before him. His whispers continued, fueling the energy that poured through his body as a piece of his mind started to wander. His father had told him, once, of an unusual technique to help his then seven year old mind get passed its short attention span. It was one of the strangest things he had ever heard, even stranger in how well it had worked during stressful exams during his academic career.
And he wondered . . .
"Yeah, think of a star or something, and focus on that."
A star . . .
He was now looking at his hands, watching as the aura he conjured twisted around his fingers. Slowly, he lightly wrapped his right hand around his other's wrist, running his thumb down the underside of his forearm. He felt the tiny beats of his circulation continue on undisturbed by his ability, drawing another short laugh from him. His finger gradually ended its travel down his arm, stopping at the base of his hand and pressing snuggly on his flesh.
His father had told him stories of the Dutchmen bloodline that he had been born into. His heritage had been of great comfort to him in the wake of his dad's untimely death and well into adulthood, though as the months went by and his powers grew, Derek had began to ponder if there was more to it than that. Could the rumors be true? Was it actually possible . . .?
. . .the Greeks believed such doctors to be descended from Asclepius.
His soft chant was cut off as a quiver grabbed hold of him. Now clutching his wrist tightly, he took a small gulp of air to stave off the dizziness that trickled through his skull. Desperate for a distraction, he aimlessly cast his gaze out, unable to help but notice the busy streets from his vantage point, or rather, just how small everyone looked.
"Enough . ." he cringed. "Stop."
With another breath, he clenched his eyes shut and released the Touch. "Uhhhngg. . . ." Derek lurched as the world came crashing around him and he pressed both hands to his temples, swaying with the ground to steady it. "Uh . . . I really need to stop doing that." he murmured. He remained teetered slightly, eyes closed as he listened to the sounds around him rise up to a dull roar. He let it all crash upon him, opening his eyes and somewhat relieved by the mundane view of the real world. His arms dropped to his sides as the lightheaded feeling relented and he flicked off the sweaty glaze on his brow.
With his hand pressed to his forehead, he let out a sigh, paying no mind to the frayed hair that pushed through his fingers. "Why does this bother me so much?"
True, he was gifted and he was not alone, but there were times when he could not help but wonder . . .
The purr of his cell phone ceased his musings. He had a feeling of who it was well before he retrieved it from his pocket, but he could not help but smile when he saw the display on his caller ID. It was supposed to be his night off. Of course, once he became something of a celebrity in the medical field, he had since abandoned the idea of days off, knowing they were tentative at best. Yet, even though he had completed an exhausting shift only four hours prior he could not help but feel at ease as he flipped his phone open.
As long as people needed him, he did not have to wonder. He knew exactly who he was, and who he always would be.
"This is Dr. Stiles."
--
A/N: Arg! (ka-faint). I just barely finished this before I had to leave tonight. I'm actually very pleased with it. This took me maybe a combined effort of . . . four hours to write! Woot! Well, I hope you enjoyed it MoonCat. I know it's probably late in the day where you life but it's only about 6:30pm over here. It sounds like your birthday was fun! Hope you have many more just like them!
PS - Derek is Dutch. The end.