This was all started by Steve and Joe's conversation about horoscopes. Looking up Walter's and Daniel's, I dint find anything that exciting. Their Zodiac's, however...are hilariously apt.

So far, the stakeout hadn't been much of a success.

It was, however, making the owners of a local Chinese restaurant very successful.

Nite Owl sighed, coming back with-yet another-plain box of today's special. Lo mien for him this time; with a burger for Rorschach. The third time he'd had the same damn burger in a row. He knew the guy had a super conservative leaning that made him spout off some very inflammatory remarks about immigrants; and now he knew that his attitudes were pretty much the same about the food that they made. He picked the only 'American' thing he could find on the menu, and had stuck to it for the last three days.

He was sorely tempted to tell him that the invention of the hamburger was brought over by German immigrants. Just to mess with him.

However, he knew that would go over like a lead balloon. The noir vigilante was growing fidgety; the stakeout was clearly a bust and he was frustrated. Likely this was their last night in the cramped, dusty office that overlooked the supposed meeting place of big figure.

"Here." He shoved the misshapen lump wrapped in greasy wax paper into his partner's hands.

Rorschach just wolfed it down; probably not even tasting it. It always amused him to see just how fast the guy could stuff food down his gullet, no matter how nasty it was. Poking at his food, though, he had to agree that his lo mien wasn't much better. He started looking over the placemat he'd been given to distract him from the rubbery food; reading it between half-hearted bites.

It was a printout of the Chinese zodiac. Horse, pig, rat, etc. with their years and meaning printed out. He had a vague understanding of it-he knew it existed-but he'd never been interested enough in it to figure out what his 'sign' was. With a snort of amusement, he saw it.

"Something funny, Nite Owl?" Rorschach, asked, around a mouthful of burger.

He held up the paper. "Chinese zodiac. Depending on the year, you get a different animal as your 'sign'."

Rorschach kept chewing; waiting for an explanation. Nite Owl just handed the paper over, and he looked down at it, studying the superstitious drivel. Quickly, he found his sign; dragon. Then, a list of his positive traits (magnanimous, strong, proud, direct, passionate) 'intentionally vague; all of humanity has at least a few of those traits in differing degrees, misleading-'

negative traits: tactless-

'Lies. Have plenty of tact. Broken fingers always gets results.'

Arrogant-

'Adrian must be a dragon.'

Tyrannical, demanding-

'Not demanding. Daniel just complains too much.'

Intolerant-

'No compromise.'

Violent-

'Again, broken fingers gets results.'

Common health problems-' Very complete list.'-prone to bouts of extreme temper and stress-

'Landlady annoying; always loud when trying to sleep. Can't be blamed for outbursts.'

Migraines and heart related issues-

'Little sleep. Caused by landlady. Also causes temper and stress, feeds back into migraine. Heart is fine though; no trouble, so chart is not completely accurate-'

-Antisocial personality disorder.

'...Hurm.'

Most compatible with-'mindless slaves; apparently must look to superstitious beliefs to determine likelihood of relationships'-rat, monkey, or rooster.

'...' The paper rustled as he skimmed it, looking. '...Good.'

Not that he needed validating, but seeing the proudly strutting creature under Daniel's birth year was...satisfying.

"Uhm, I was born in 1945, so that makes me-"

"Yes. Found it Nite Owl."

"...Funny, huh?" He said, expectantly; hoping for a laugh, hoping his partner would share at least some of his humor. Seeing that his sign was actually a bird-even if it was a different kind of bird than his namesake-was amusing. To him at least.

"Pointless superstition." He tossed it aside. "Esoteric beliefs practiced by the gullible."

The voice was as flat as ever. Daniel sighed; it wasn't that funny, but he'd hope to at least get an amused snort from his partner out of it. No such luck.

"Well...we should probably call it a night. Sun is going to be up soon anyway." He stood, and gave his partner a half-hopeful look. "You want to come back for coffee?"

"No. Cant."

"Oh, right. You've got to work, don't you?"

Rorschach had never mentioned that he had a job, but since he'd always left at a specific time on the weekdays, and never slept over on weeknights if he could avoid it, pretty much spoke 'nine-to-five' schedule. He'd never denied it either, which-in his cagy, paranoid partner-was as good as admitting it.

"Be seeing you, Nite Owl." He walked off, after their customary handshake. Daniel smiled and shook his head at the retreating back-'always so formal'-before heading back himself.

It wasn't until after he'd stripped off the costume, washed up, and fallen into bed-and into a really good dream, hot damn-that he got the call.

He groaned, and swiped vaguely at the phone near his bed. It wasn't until the third ring that his erratically waving hand actually made contact with it.

"Mrph..." He gurgled incomprehensively.

"Hrm. Still sleeping I see." A voice growled at the other end. "Neglecting duties."

"Uhhhng..." His mind attempted to focus. "...Duties?"

Oh, wait. He recognized that voice.

"...Why." He moaned. "Are you calling me. At seven in the goddamn morning."

"Some people work at this hour." The voice was flat, but he swore he could hear amusement in it. "See you are not. Shirking duties. Very bad."

"The hell? What duties?"

"Sun is up."

He glared at the phone, willing the man at the other end to feel it.

"...Cockle-doodle-doo, Daniel."

He stared at the receiver for a moment, mouth hanging open, before bursting out into hysterical snorts.

"Y-you ass." He gasped desperately around the giggles waiting to burst free. "I will get you for this-"

The receiver clicked at the other end, cutting him off in the middle of his plans for retribution, but the damage was already done. Daniel was now wide awake, laughing so hard he could feel tears squeezing out of his eyes. 'Great, now I'll never get to sleep!'

But, lying there-giggles finally subsiding-he wouldn't have it any other way.