Lie

by GrandNinjaMasterRen

I'm only human. I'm not strong. I need help. He doesn't listen to my silent plea. He doesn't believe me. Maybe they're right, and he really is dead... I can't afford to doubt myself. I go back to work.

I close my eyes against the stinging tears of pain. I haven't slept in days. I try to refocus my attention on the laptop sitting on my desk. My vision blurs again. My hands shake as I pick up the mug from beside me. I try to drink. The mug is empty.

I stumble downstairs. I start a new pot of coffee. Movement in the corner of my eye draws my focus.

My brother holds a box of cereal and a pair of bowls. He sets the bowls on the counter. He frowns at me, asks me what I'm doing. I gesture to the coffee I poured in answer. He opens his mouth, perhaps to respond, perhaps to simply acknowledge, but changes his mind. He does this a few more times.

I take a drink of my coffee. I turn to leave.

He calls my name. I stop.

He hesitates. Then, he asks if I'm okay.

I freeze. My throat tightens. I swallow thickly; my mouth is dry. There's no right answer to give.

I glance at him from over my shoulder. I can't force a smile. My hands are still shaking. I haven't slept, haven't eaten. If he is half the detective our father is, that would be clear to him.

He's preoccupied. Our youngest brother is his priority. I can't bother him.

I nod. I answer softly and leave quickly. I'll hunt down every lead possible like a bloodhound, never ceasing, never resting.

I leave the echo of my words lingering in the empty hall.

"I'm fine." I'm not.