In Heaven
Based on the JYJ's 'In Heaven' Music Video
WARNING: Character Death
"Just because you went back to the past, it doesn't mean that the future will change." He only needed one more chance. One more chance to make amends to the one he loved – even though her fate was pre-determined, his was not.
Twisting her old, discoloured phone in her pale hand, she felt her chest constrict from the pain. It had been four months since her boyfriend, Natsume Hyuuga, had been neglecting her completely due to his busy work as the new CEO of his company. Not once had she received a phone call, e-mail, not even a note from him, nor did he bother to answer her own calls. Mikan had initially overlooked that fact, believing that he would eventually finish his work and start to spend time with her again - but when she had visited him in his office as a surprise the previous week, he had nonchalantly scolded her for interrupting his valuable time.
Why, Natsume? You don't even have time for me anymore? She wailed to herself internally, a clear drop of moisture escaping from her caramel brown eye.
The sheer image of Natsume's frustrated expression when she had excitedly entered his office with a lunch she had especially cooked for him would not escape her mindset. It saddened her deeply that he had not expressed any joy in seeing her after more than three months of separation - which she started to doubt that he actually cared about their relationship at all.
I should've broken up with him before… I wouldn't have fallen in love with him so deeply…! Mikan started to hyperventilate, more tears spilling down her cheeks as she clenched her phone close to her pained chest. Ignoring the onlookers of whom expressed both interest and worry for this sobbing girl near the intersection but chose not to interfere themselves, she started to wail the words which she had no confidence in telling her boyfriend.
"I-I thought y-you loved me… why did you do this, Natsume! I wish it never happened… but it's too l-late, isn't it?" Knowing the exact answer to her own question, she made a hasty decision to call Natsume one more time in case he had realised what he had done.
One ring.
Two rings.
Three rings.
She swallowed thickly, starting to believe that it was indeed the worst impossible scenario as the phone continued to ring.
Four rings.
Five rings.
Six rings.
Meanwhile, a raven haired male in a neat grey suit glanced briefly at his buzzing phone in front of him as he discussed the future plans for his company with the executive team. After six buzzes, it still did not cease. A part of Natsume bugged himself, feeling that he should answer the call from his girlfriend. However, he immediately pushed the thought aside, as it was interrupting his meeting and it was likely that the call was probably not much of an importance.
I haven't talked to her in a while… I'll call her afterwards, he thought to himself as he slid his phone to the side of the desk and continued his discussions.
Seven rings.
Eight rings.
Nine ring-
With a trembling hand, Mikan pulled the phone away from her ear and pressed the 'End Call' button with her thumbnail. Of course, she bitterly scoffed to herself. Stupid Mikan. Did you really think he would answer after all these months? It's too late now…
The grip on her phone loosened, allowing the piece of technology to comply with the laws of gravity - sending it heartlessly towards the concrete path as it formed a hundred cracks on its screen. Mikan paid no attention to her dead phone, however, as her feet led her through the crowd of people waiting for the green light at a Tokyo intersection. People growled and whined at the girl of whom was pushing past, but her zombie-like state immediately silenced them as she ignored all surrounding voices. The bags under her eyes which appeared as if they were etched onto her skin in addition to her ghastly pale complexion sent the group into confusion. She was visibly a beautiful woman - with her chestnut brown locks hanging to her waist and her small features - but none could understand why she was in such a depressed mood.
However, their confusion was immediately replaced with horror as she placed a small foot on the road - when the pedestrian light was still red.
Her mind was now blank as she slowly trudged forward towards the middle of the road. Perhaps this is for the best, Natsume… you'll have nothing to hold you back, right?
She felt an intense gaze on her as she sipped her strawberry milk from the striped plastic straw. She playfully turned her head to meet the crimson eyes of her boyfriend, of whom was watching her with a small smirk on his face.
Uncomfortable with the sudden quiet attention he was giving her, she pouted as she stared back condescendingly. "W-What are you looking at, Natsume?" She was unable to hide her slight stutter nor her blush, which he seemed to be amused by.
"Just checking out you new panties, Strawberry Fields." He teased with the repeated movement of his eyes towards her underwear prints.
Mikan immediately frowned at his response as she made another unsuccessful attempt to hide her now much warmer face. "Hey! Don't be such a pervert, Natsume!" She whined, and he huffed in amusement. After cooling down for a moment, Mikan had immediately returned to her thoughtful ways. "I remember… you also saw my underwear when we first met, Natsume!"
He slowly made his way behind his girlfriend in order to lean his chin on her shoulder with his arms around her small frame. "Polka dot pattern."
"Eh? You remember even that? I would think that you weren't the type to pay attention to these small details." She was surprised, and displayed an impressed expression as he exhaled deeply.
"I met you that day. How could I forget my girlfriend's panty designs? Like pink stripes, rainbows, rabbit family, flower gar-"
Mikan squealed at his nonchalant listing of all her underwear prints, embarrassed though there was no one else around. "Don't do that!"
He couldn't help but smile faintly at her overreactions. "I remember these things because they're related to the girl I love." He murmured as his arms tightened around her. She relaxed her body within the comfort of her boyfriend's warm arms, and she grinned sheepishly in return.
"I love you too, Natsume."
She didn't know if it was a good idea to reminisce in a moment long gone and currently unreachable as she waited during those split seconds. However, she did not feel an ounce of regret as a small smile appeared on her lips as she remembered the formerly sweet moments of her relationship with the man she would forever love.
"Goodbye, Natsume… I love you." She whispered to herself as she turned her head towards the speedily approaching car of which had no sign of stopping.
After Ruka called him to the hospital deeming it was an emergency, he wasted no time into driving his car barely below the speed limit, trusting his best friend's words and leaving his work. However, as soon as he arrived at the hospital room he was called to, he was greeted by the sight of Ruka and his wife Hotaru with the doctor, of whom was shaking his head in regret - the universal action causing Natsume to grasp the situation perfectly, slowing down his steps gradually until he stopped two metres away from the usually stone-faced woman, of whom was trembling and on the verge of tears.
"That's impossible… she wouldn't just disappear like this!" Her voice increased in pitch as she tightly gripped the sides of her dress. "She's Mikan, for crying out loud!"
The mentioning of his girlfriend immediately caught his attention. Mikan? No… it can't be…
"What happened to Mikan?" The two looked up in shock, as they hadn't noticed his presence previously. When his eyes met the violet ones of Hotaru, her moist face immediately morphed into an expression of controlled outrage. Natsume couldn't help but flinch at the 'Ice Queen's' sudden display of emotion directed at him alone as Ruka made an attempt to soothe her, though he himself had an expression of devastation.
"Take a look for yourself, Natsume." Ruka muttered, staring at the floor as he attempted to hold back a tear of his own.
As soon as he got the word, he sped past the couple as he barely ignored the glare Hotaru was directing his way. However, it was none of his concern as he sighted the girl on the hospital bed.
He felt his heart shatter into a thousand shards as the image of Mikan - pale, fatigued, and most definitely blood soaked - burned into his mind. The lips of which he usually saw upturned were dry and colourless, and her previously smooth, vibrant brown hair was now dull and tangled behind her head. Natsume clenched his jaw at the dreadful sight of his girlfriend in such a state, and the sudden thought of the doctor shaking his head in remorse finally made him come to the vital realisation.
Mikan's dead…
From the thought, he dashed forward towards the side of her bed and clasped her thin, lifeless hand in his firmly. His other hand reached forward to cup her cold cheek.
"Mikan… no, you're not dead. You're not, so wake up!" He growled at the corpse, his eyebrows knitting together in desperation. After a lack of response from Mikan, he gripped her hand harder as he pulled it towards his chest. "Wake up, Mikan! Stop joking!"
She couldn't die… no, she's Mikan! Mikan wouldn't die like this!
Once again, there was no response from the lifeless brunette. Devastated, Natsume fell on his knees and held her hand against his forehead. A tear was threatening to spill from his eye as his whole body tensed up.
"No…" He muttered, already knowing the final deadly outcome. "No, no, no, no, no!" Natsume roared, his volume increasing each time. The moisture in his eyes succeeded their mission, as they started to trickle down the face of the usually nonchalant businessman. "Why did this happen?!"
Behind him, Hotaru was also teary. However, she was still directing her glare towards her best friend's boyfriend's oblivion about the situation. She loathed ignorance, but when it was regarding her beloved best friend Mikan, she wanted the perpetrator to go to hell. Even if he was her own husband's best friend. She couldn't care less about her disintegrating façade.
She could not restrain her words anymore, when she listened to him question fate. "You're asking why this happened, Hyuuga? You're really detestable." She sneered, her voice faintly trembling as he turned to her with a mixed expression.
"ImaI? Do you know why this happened?" Natsume immediately stood up from his crouch, his eyes demanding an answer. "Tell me who did this!"
Hotaru scoffed at his demand, her anger increasing by the second. "So you don't know why this happened, Hyuuga?"
He was briefly shocked at her evident burst of emotion at that very moment, but his mind stayed true to his wish for answers. "What are you talking about? How would I know, I wasn't there!"
Clenching her jaw, she glowered straight into his own eyes. "Of course you weren't." She muttered, but he still noticed the venom in her tone. "You were never there."
"Never there? Imai, what happened to-"
"Isn't it obvious, Hyuuga?! The reason she died was that you weren't there for her at all! She suffered for five months, while you buried yourself with work, supposedly thinking your life was perfect! I knew it, ever since you got the top job, that you would end up like this!"
What? Mikan suffered… because of me? I never noticed that I've been ignoring her for this long…! Natsume thought to himself in despair as Hotaru snapped her head to the side, staring longingly at her unconscious best friend.
"I shouldn't have let you date her so easily." He didn't hear her mutter, as he was now clutching his head in his hands, choking up his newly arising tears.
"Fuck…" He hissed as Hotaru barely struggled to regain her composure, since the regular sightings of Mikan covered in blood would make her fail every time. "She did this on purpose?!"
He fell to his knees once again beside the hospital bed. This time, his tears freely spilled from his eyes as all the puzzle pieces formed in his mind. "I'm such an idiot… this is all my fucking fault! Now you're gone, Mikan… what am I going to do?!" He yelled, his voice echoing through the halls of the hospital. As he weeped for the reckless loss of his love, the usually stone-faced woman was barely struggling in the arms of her husband due to her wish to rip the man away from her best friend.
Within the metropolis of Tokyo, a tall man in a black hoodie was trudging down the aisle of small stores, his hands in his pockets and his gaze towards the ground. As he wasn't watching where he was going, he bumped into an older man evidently coming home from work.
The stranger appeared annoyed. "Hey, watch it-" He immediately paused mid-speech at the sudden gaze from the man in the black hoodie. It wasn't just the bizarre colour of red that surprised him, but the etched bags underneath said pair of eyes immediately distinguished his anger. Natsume watched, dazed, as the business worker scurried past him immediately.
The older man was only one of many that night, as he continued to walk through the metropolis until he reached an abandoned convenience store, selling flavoured milk.
She had always loved strawberry milk…
He found his own feet leading him into the store, and the cold air conditioning hit his face like a wave - but all it did was make his already tired eyes sting. His exhaustion was not due to more overwork, since he had grown some sense that it was the reason why she committed suicide, but it was that the thoughts of the turn of events had both haunted him and gradually destroying the heart he had given to her - but he was well aware that it was all his fault, not hers.
His thoughts brought his mind away from his actions. When he had finally snapped out of his reverie, he had noticed he was standing in front of a confused, pimply-faced cashier with a small bottle of strawberry milk in his hand. Shrugging, he handed the cashier his milk and pulled out his wallet when he saw a young boy next to him, of whom was longingly staring at a lollipop the shape of a bear.
Feeling unusually kind, Natsume pulled out one of the lollipops and placed it on the cashier's desk, to the shock of the young, silver-haired boy. As soon as he was handed back the milk as well as the lollipop with his extra change, he gave the boy the lollipop before exiting the store - only to sit on one of the idle chairs outside.
He didn't know why he had bought the milk in the first place, as it had reminded him immensely of her. Thus, Natsume was unsure whether the boy from before hopping into the seat next to him was a blessing or a bother.
"Onii-chan." The boy spoke, his green eyes wide with curiosity. "What is the one thing you want to do before you die?" Natsume was utterly stunned at the fact that this boy was speaking of death at a young age. But he wasn't one to ignore the question of a young child.
"I would want to care for the one I love most in this world." He blurted out, the face of the beautiful brunette fresh in his mind. It was the one thing in his life that he regretted - not being there for the right person. Natsume afforded to let out a small smile, before turning back to the boy.
However, he had disappeared from his seat, nowhere to be found.
"What the hell?"
I would want to care for the one I love most in this world.
"Don't live your life like this, Natsume. Even after all that has… happened, she would want you to keep living." Natsume wasn't exactly okay with his friend calling him the night before to provide psychological advice, but he couldn't deny the fact that it had uplifted his spirits slightly.
Only slightly - rather, he was still as lifeless as soup.
But still… I can't live without her like this...
The sound of someone knocking the door snapped him briefly from his thoughts, as he set down his water and pulled on a warm jacket as he made his way to the door.
What he saw - rather, who he saw - was beyond what he had expected at the time.
What… what is this?!
He blinked a few times, making sure it wasn't an illusion. As his eyes flickered to her glossy chestnut hair, her healthy pale skin, her vibrant brown orbs, her beautiful smile - there was no way he could deny what he saw.
His presumably deceased girlfriend, Mikan Sakura, was standing on his doorstep without a scratch.
However, he could not bring himself to be happy due to the overwhelming shock and confusion he was experiencing. There was no evidence from the accident a few days ago, and the genuine grin plastered on her face defied the reasons why she died.
Before he could even utter a word, she tilted her head in curiosity as she analysed his expression. "Natsume, what's the matter? Are you that surprised to see me in the morning? I told you yesterday that I would come at this time." Natsume knitted his eyebrows at her words. What? Yesterday? God, this is confusing… what's going on?
After a lack of reaction from the stunned raven-haired man, Mikan pouted as she let herself into the house with a bag of groceries. "Seriously, it's because of your new CEO job, isn't it? You probably forgot about me, didn't you?" She asked playfully, but the words sent an emotional dagger through his chest. Fuck…
After a poor attempt to regain his composure, he weakly followed her into the kitchen, where she was pulling out bottles of strawberry milk from the plastic bags she had been carrying.
"I dropped by the supermarket to buy some yummy milk, since you don't have enough here." Why is she acting like this? Wait, no… why is she alive?! What about the accident?!
Mikan seemed to notice his wide eyes and the absence of his usual nonchalant behaviour. "You look like you just saw a zebra with a party hat, Natsume. What's bothering you? Is it the pressure from the new position?" Wait… new position? But I got that position five months ago!
He finally managed to speak after a long while. "Weren't you in a car accident a few days ago, Mikan?" Natsume watched as her face changed to one of offence.
"Eh? What are you talking about? If you're talking about the random kid with the scooter who almost ran into me, did you think I would get hurt so easily?" Scoffing, she casually poured some milk into the spotless cylinder glass. "Seriously, you think I'm so weak…" She accused him, wrinkling her nose cutely.
I don't think you're weak, Mikan… you're the strongest person I know, to suffer like that. He bitterly thought to himself as he was still placed in a moment of wonder, questioning as to why she didn't seem to remember the accident. The first thing that came to his mind was amnesia, but there was no trace of the bloody crash on her body. Most importantly, there was no sign of her emotional hurt regarding his innocence.
Natsume wanted answers. He hated being unaware of things.
As she sipped the milk, unknowing of his mental argument with himself, Mikan sniffed the air. "It's nice to feel the sun again. I'm so glad spring's finally come…"
Natsume snapped his head at her words. Isn't it mid-summer now? Finally getting a grasp of the possible situation, he grabbed the monthly calendar on his fridge.
It was a fresh new page for a fresh new month - March the 1st. Natsume remembered clearly that he had been marking all the passing days without fail for years, and he was sure that it had been August when the accident occurred. There was only one possible explanation for this.
It was now five months before her death. Thus, Mikan was still alive and happy.
Turned back time?
Natsume was overjoyed by this fact that he could redeem himself for his sins, and the fact that his girlfriend was still alive. He cracked a smile as he immediately pulled the unknowing Mikan into his tight embrace.
"Oh-Natsume? What is this?" She giggled as he nuzzled into her thin neck. Inhaling deeply the scent in which he had missed for five months - of his time - he knew for a fact that this time, he wouldn't mess up.
"Let's just stay like this for now, Mikan."
"O-Okay."
This time, he would be with her like he should be.
Within the span of three months, his main goal was to stay with Mikan regardless of his work as the new CEO of his company. Though he acted uninterested at the childish things in which she enjoyed, he was for sure having as much fun as she was. The dates he took her out on ranged from superb magic shows, casual bicycle rides and the occasional baseball game, and though they were so different to each other, he knew for a fact that she enjoyed every single moment of it.
While the two were spending their time breathing in the salty air at the ocean view point, Mikan noted something as she restrained her fedora from flying away.
"You know Natsume, when you told me you got that CEO job, I was kind of expecting you to spend less time with me. Hotaru thought so, too."
His old memories of the parallel past did not pain him as much as it did during the first month of redemption, but her assumption still made both his chest and head ache, in addition to the flashbacks of Hotaru's distraught state regarding her apparent death.
He had noticed that just like the scars on Mikan's body, the devastation which Hotaru had expressed on the day of her death was nowhere to be found. Hotaru didn't exactly loathe him like she did before, but she did express slight suspicion at his antics due to her belief that he was going to lose interest in Mikan after getting the top job. Thankfully to Natsume, she accepted him as her best friend's boyfriend because of those antics.
Mikan, not noticing his train of thought, turned to him with a dazzling smile. "But I'm glad you're spending more time with me than usual. I'm really happy." She hopped off the ledge to wrap her arms around his waist tightly as she laid her head on his chest. "I love you, Natsume."
After hearing her speak about her feelings, Natsume knew two things.
The first was that the Natsume from the parallel past was completely different from the one mow, so he didn't have to worry about his erased mistake.
Second, he was given one more chance to redeem himself - thus, he had to treasure every single moment with his beloved girlfriend.
As he held her head in his hand and kissed her hair lightly, he thanked whoever had mysteriously given him a second chance.
"I love you, Mikan."
The crimson-eyed man casually made his way into the fancy restaurant in a black dress shirt and tailored pants, aware that he was a whole hour late for his next date with Mikan. He didn't feel good about making her wait so long, but he hoped that his surprise for her would be worth the wait, knowing that she would still be inside.
He scanned the tables to search for the brunette, and made his way towards the table when he found that she had put her hair up in a ponytail for the occasion. As he finally reached the table and took his seat, Natsume noticed that Mikan was not happy at all.
It took all his willpower not to apologise truthfully, and he took a sip of fine red wine before opening the menu as if nothing was wrong. These actions made the poor woman glower at her boyfriend.
"You were late, Natsume. By more than an hour." She stated, crossing her arms in frustration.
"Yeah, sorry." Natsume nonchalantly replied as he pretended to scan through the menu with interest. In his peripheral vision, he clearly saw Mikan huff.
"I know you're busy with work, but isn't this your free day? This is the fourth time it's happened… what were you doing?"
"Preparing dates for you." It was true, in a sense, but he hadn't meant to say it like he did.
Mikan seemed offended. "You're saying it like it's an obligation, Natsume. Ugh… I'm leaving." She clicked her tongue as she grabbed her purse, about to stand up, when the sudden sound of a violin emerged from her left. Followed by a cello. She could even make out the sound of a viola among the resonating melodies. Mikan gasped when she realised that a string quartet was playing as they made their way towards a table. Their table.
Her head immediately whipped back at her boyfriend, who appeared smug. "Na-Natsume? Did you-"
She was unable to finish her question, as all of her anger had dissipated when she realised that this was all Natsume's plan. Mikan couldn't help but giggle as the four suited musicians surrounded their small table, as they played an upbeat song - the tempo which she loved most.
He allowed himself a small smile as he watched Mikan clap to the music with a hundred watt smile on her face. He was more than satisfied with the result of his plan, and he hadn't even pulled out the small velvet box in his pocket yet.
After the lovely dinner, he had brought Mikan to the top of one of the highest buildings in the city so she could admire the beautiful metropolitan view. Her reaction was expected, of course, as she leaned her elbows on the railing with a dreamy grin on her face. But as she watched the urban view, Natsume's eyes remained on the woman of whom he was trying to protect.
Mikan, finally noticing his intense gaze, blushed deeply as their eyes met.
"Why are you looking at me, Natsume? You brought us here to look at the view, right?" She asked as he observed the light sparkling within her chocolate brown orbs.
"Not entirely." He replied, turning away to observe inner Tokyo.
Mikan arched an eyebrow suspiciously. "Okay, then what are we here for? Is it something good? I hope it's something good, or…" She continued to mumble unintelligibly by herself as she fumbled her thumbs.
Sighing deeply, Natsume decided to ask her a question. "Mikan. Right now, what do you want most?"
She placed a finger on her chin, deeply contemplating how to answer, and her face brightened up as she did. "I really feel like some Howalon right now… hey, let's go buy some later!" Ah, she misunderstood… He flicked her forehead once, thus causing her to squeal and flinch. "Eeek! What was that for?" Mikan pouted as she poked him in the arm in return, unfortunately not equalling the pain she herself felt.
"That's not what I meant, idiot."
Huffing in frustration, Mikan crossed her arms for the second time that evening. "Then what do you mean? You answer it, then."
"...Fine. Then…" Watching the woman of whom he was in love with leaning back on the railing, her brown locks appearing gold due to the healthy glow of the city, her angelic appearance despite the fitting black dress, the natural flush of her cheeks whenever she was with him, and especially the smile which he had fallen in love with ever since they had met - he knew exactly what he was living for, and how he would answer his own question. "All I wish for right now is for you to stay with me for eternity."
At the spur of the moment, he pulled the velvet box out of his pocket for Mikan to see. His nerves felt as if they had been tightly strung within his body, and he couldn't bring himself to be humoured by the image of her jaw dropping. Lifting the thick lid with his thumb, he exposed the shimmering diamond ring additionally adorned with smaller rubies.
"Is this… no wait, this is a dream, isn't it?" She asked, slapping her face several times. "No, it's probably that new illusion invention Hotaru just made… Hotaru! I'm going to kill you! I-"
"This isn't a dream or an illusion." It had previously slipped his mind, but he knew it was to be expected for Mikan to act like this. With her hands on her face due to her previous slapping antics, she stared at him with a blank expression for a moment until the glimmering tear from her eye was emerging - letting Natsume know that she finally understood that none of this was a dream.
He gently lifted her left arm towards him as he held the ring just below her eye level. "I want you to marry me Mikan." Natsume murmured, extremely nervous about the outcome of his proposal.
In the end, it was as spontaneous as Mikan herself was.
"Jeez… do you call that a proposal?" She complained, making him feel like his life had been shortened by ten years. "It's like you're demanding me to marry you. You have to ask me."
Relieved greatly, he exhaled deeply. "Seriously, you're going to be the death of me. You're reprimanding me on the way I propose?"
"Of course! It's so unromantic the way you did it. I want you to propose like they do in the movies!" Mikan whined, stomping her heels on the ground childishly. Ugh… this is harder than I'd expected it to be. Couldn't she be a normal person for once and just accept?
"I just proposed to you, Mikan. And this is how you take it. Honestly… I don't even know if you want to marry me or not." Due to Mikan's odd reaction, his nerves had calmed down only slightly.
"Well, you'll find out if you ask me properly like a gentleman. Even Ruka proposed to Hotaru that way!" Mikan was having a little bit of fun as she ruffled her serious boyfriend's feathers, but she didn't dare show it.
"That's Ruka for you. We're not the same person anyway. Besides, why are you so desperate for me to ask you?"
"It makes it legitimate. You ask, I answer. Come on, Natsume!" Mikan quirkily explained, causing him to throw all sense out of the window just for her.
"Because it's legitimate? ...I'm not going to ask." It seemed that the only sense which remained with him was his sense of pride.
"Yes you will! Ask me."
"No." A succinct reply.
"Ask me."
"No."
"Ask me."
"No."
"Ask me."
"No."
"Ask me."
"No."
"Ask me."
Natsume couldn't take it anymore. He just wanted an answer from the pushy brunette. "Will you marry me?"
"Ask- eh?" Mikan shook her head slightly at the sudden question in which she was pressuring him to ask. "Did you just…?"
"I asked you, okay? Now..." He pulled the ring from the cushioned shot and held it upright, awaiting hopefully for her wordless reply. Swallowing deeply, he prayed in his mind that even after the frustrating - and not to mention unnecessary - argument, Mikan would accept.
He finally withdrew his long-held breath when she moved her hand up to slide the ring onto her finger, with a sheepish grin. As soon as the ring was on securely, he pulled her arms forward so that his lips could meet her soft ones in a sweet kiss. Natsume felt her free arm lie on his shoulder as his own arm grabbed her waist to pull her closer to his chest.
It was a silent exchange of feelings - with her promising that she would be with him forever, and him declaring that he would never let her go.
However, as they parted, Mikan knew exactly how to ruin the mood.
"...Can you ask me again?"
...Seriously, Mikan.
Hand in hand, the two walked through the city in silence. Natsume could feel the cold silver of her ring touch his skin as he grasped her hand tighter in order to not lose her within the sudden bustle.
"Oh!" Suddenly, Mikan halted in her steps. "We were supposed to get some Howalon today!" Not allowing a reply to come from her new fiance's mouth, she pulled him through the crowds in order to reach the small but busy sweet store near the intersection.
The intersection.
"Shit…" He growled quietly to himself, but when they reached the store, Mikan noticed his discomfort.
"Are you okay, Natsume? You look unwell…" She placed a cool hand on his forehead curiously. "It doesn't seem to be a fever…"
"Don't worry, Mikan. It's nothing. I'll wait here, so go buy your Howalon." He reassured the brunette, who nodded once before excitedly entering the store with a gleeful look on her face.
Natsume ran his hand through his messy raven hair as he glanced at the cursed intersection a second time. The images of before - mainly a bloodied Mikan in a hospital - hit him like a wave. Though his remorseful heart had healed overtime with the renewed presence of his girlfriend - now fiancee - seeing the intersection, the location where she had committed suicide, made his whole body tremble in fear.
"Onii-chan." A familiar voice spoke from behind. He turned around to see the silver haired boy from the convenience store, but this time the boy was wearing a crisp, white suit.
"You're the boy from that time." Natsume muttered as he looked around once more. No one noticed the odd sight of a small boy no older than six in a tailored suit.
"I'm a spirit. That's why no one else can see me now." A… spirit?!
Natsume had a suspicion that this boy was responsible for the five month time reversal. "So you're the one who-"
"Even though you were distraught a moment ago, you looked happy." The boy turned around to look through the glass of the sweet shop - directly at Mikan, of whom was pursing her lips as she looked around the brightly coloured room. "Your girlfriend looks happy too. But... just because you went back to the past, it doesn't mean that the future will change."
Natsume was rendered speechless by his words. No… it can't be! Is Mikan going to die again?!
"Natsume, let's go!" His fiancee appeared from out of nowhere with a brown paper bag in her hand, and she locked arms with him. Unable to comprehend, he looked up at the large screen on the nearby building, which showed a news program with the date and time.
July 29, 2012
Fuck… you've gotta be kidding me.
"Of course I'm going to stay here, Natsume. Where else would I go?" A confused Mikan had asked a frustrated Natsume as he stood within the doorframe in his business suit a few hours ago. But even though she had tried to assure him before he pulled her in for a quick kiss, he still didn't relax. As many of his subordinates entered the meeting hall, he continued to glance at his phone on the table.
After another ten minutes of shifting his gaze to and away from his phone, he rashly picked it up and dialled Mikan's number.
One ring.
Two rings.
Three rings.
He clenched his hand around the small phone tightly, his insanity increasing rapidly after every ring.
Four rings.
Five rings.
Six rings.
Meanwhile, the said brunette was making her way towards the flower store in order to replace the 'pathetic excuse' of a plant on Natsume's office desk when she realised something.
"Oh? I forgot my phone… it doesn't matter. I don't think I'll get an important call any time soon." She reassured herself easily as he pushed the glass door of the flower shop open. "Natsume won't worry if I'm gone for a little while.
Seven rings.
Eight rings.
Nine ring-
She's not answering… He thought to himself in horror as he ended the call. He wasted no time in dialling Hotaru's number, hoping that she was with her best friend at the time.
Unlike the previous call, Hotaru answered during the first ring.
"What is it, Hyuuga?" Her cold voice spat from the other side of the call, but Natsume did not bother heeding the obvious fact that she was in a bad mood.
"Is Mikan with you?" He immediately asked.
"She's with you, isn't she? What has that idiot done now…"
"I'm at a conference, and she isn't answering her phone."
"…"
"Don't worry, I'm going to look for her now. Bye." He sighed as he snapped his phone shut, and dashed out of the conference room to the confusion of his staff.
Shit, shit, shit! With all his might and willpower, he sprinted out of the building towards the place which had undeniably been haunting him ever since - the intersection.
Unknowing passer-bys watched In confusion as a handsome, yet dishevelled man zoomed past them in desperation, his tie flapping in the wind and a thin layer of sweat on his forehead. Never would they expect that he was urgently trying to save his girlfriend who was destined to die that day.
In the passing moments when he was only a desperate man in love running through the city, his whole life with Mikan flashed through his mind. From their first meeting at Tokyo U to the day when they were forced to confess to each other. Their very first date, their first kiss during Christmas, her regular visits to his home - every significant moment with Mikan went by like a montage. However, as the haunting images of the pale, scarred Mikan dead on a hospital bed - not to mention soaked in blood - appeared once again, he pushed himself even further than what his body was allowing him previously.
No… I can't live without her!
Suddenly, the horrific pictures were replaces with every single moment he cherished with her during the last few months as well as every single smile.
"All I wish for right now is for you to stay with me for eternity."
My only wish… and I'm sticking to it!
When the intersection appeared within view, Natsume's steps slowed down to a jog. He exhaled in relief when he saw Mikan still standing on the footpath with a small iris flower pot cradled in her hands. Thank god… However, when the light for pedestrians turned green, she cluelessly started to walk down the intersection.
"No…" He murmured when he started to speed up once again to cover the distance as fast as he could.
Mikan started to walk down the crossing when she turned to her left to see a white van heading towards her. She froze in her steps, but the van swerved away and narrowly missed her. She sighed for a second when she thought she was still safe, but what she hadn't seen in the split second she could have gotten away was the sedan behind the van, which didn't show a sign of stopping any time soon.
"Mikan!" An all too familiar voice called out from behind, and she dropped the pot in shock - the brown dirt and the creamy flower scattering along the concrete.
"Natsume…?" A quiet mutter.
The car was too close to Mikan, and in that extremely short moment he knew one thing that the boy hadn't noted.
Her fate was unchangeable, but his wasn't.
For the last time, he settled his resolve, and dove towards her - finalising his own fate.
It was an everlasting beach of a possibly infinite distance. The sand was dusty and white, and it scattered easily from the weakest blow of wind. The rich turquoise waves moved gently along the sand - the largest wave barely surpassing the height of a school ruler.
Among the abnormally soft waves, a couple - clothed in white - watched the golden sunset with their hands intertwined. They paid no mind to the water which soaked the edges of their respective garments - instead making a peaceful acceptance of where they now were.
"So… we're in heaven now, right?" The woman sighed, tightening her grip on the man's hand as she cracked a satisfied smile. "But we're still together. Why did you save me, Natsume? You could still be living right now."
The raven haired man shook his head at her statement. "No. I would be alive technically, but I wouldn't be able to live without you Mikan. There's no point. Besides," He slowly lifted his other hand to cup her pink cheek carefully. "My only wish is for you to stay with me for eternity. Even in heaven."
Behind them, the silver haired boy smiled faintly at the couple. He was happy that Natsume had managed to redeem himself for his wrongdoings – as well as granting both of his wishes.
To care for the one he cherishes most and to stay with her for all eternity.
Even though the future remained the same, the past was drastically rewritten. Thus, the only thing similar about both parallel pasts was the death itself. When Mikan committed suicide in one past, she was involved in an accident in another.
She was devastated in one, and happy in another.
"In truth… the future did change, huh?"
A/N: Tiring.
Yeah, I don't usually listen to K-Pop. But when I do, I really like the song itself because of its meaning. 'In Heaven' by JYJ is one of my favourites, and the music video's plotline is so… heart wrenching! I cried countless times when I watched it… and replayed it over and over again. I think Natsume may have been OOC in this, but I guess this fic shows more of his desperate side than his nonchalant side due to the circumstances. Yet again, this isn't the first time I've said something like this.
But for the things which ARE my firsts, yeah - this is the first time I've written something related to tragedy. And when the main character dies (I think). So please voice your opinion with a review! :D
So now, I have to start on my actual work – the five untouched assignments due this week. Eheheheh.
-WIN