The screams, I can hear them from here, put my hands over my ears to block out the noise. I hate the screams, hate the cries and laughter. I hate it all- hate them all. Them, those people… I hate them. They did this, they did this to me, did this to all of us. I hated them; they made all the screams come back. And to think I thought they were all over… to think…to think. I hated them all, wanted them to die. Suffer. Yes that was it, they must suffer… all of them.
My eyes dart around looking at the walls, so white, so like them. I don't want to see them, the walls I mean. They were too white, too perfect- I hated them. I hated that color. Too white, too perfect, too much like them.
The door opens, I don't look up, I never look up. The footsteps sound light, the perfume overwhelms my senses-lavender. I hated it. Something around their hand jingles, a bracelet perhaps. I listen intently for a second then smile, no not a bracelet, a whistle. Just in case, I heard them tell her. Just in case…
It's her-the woman I called mother. She shakes and I could smell her fear- good. She should be afraid, they all should. She sits across from me in that chair, the one I hate. The white one. The one that reminds me of them. She lets out a shaky breath, she knows now I'm not her daughter, not her Bella, just a stranger.
She doesn't talk, she never does. Sometimes I wonder… why does she come? She knows… she knows it'll never be the same. She knows… but she wishes it all to go away. If only it would, if only…
Time passes; the woman drops her head into her hands defeated. She's lost.
The nurse comes in, it's time to leave, she whispers to the woman-my mother. She pulls herself out of the chair, but before leaving the room she bends down to my level and kisses my forehead, just as she does every time she visits me. I can feel the nurse's eyes burning holes into me waiting for me to make a move, waiting for the moment I pounce- I don't.
I look at the whistle that hung on my mother's wrist, not her neck-too dangerous, but wrist and smile sadly. Just in case, they whispered, just in case.
I don't reply when she says good-bye, knowing it'll be the last she ever gives me. Because she knows as well as I…
She's lost me.
Vladimir's P.O.V.
Forgive me father for I have sinned…
I could still see her face, feel her fear, taste her blood upon my lips. A child, I rested my head against the chair, I had killed a child. Her name was unknown but that mattered little, her screams would haunt me forever, follow me to the ends of the earth.
They've turned me into this… them. I hate them, more than I do myself, and when the time comes I would act upon my revenge. Until then I wait. I had eternity.
Eternity, I had not known the meaning of this word as a human, had thought of it to be a life full of riches and happiness. Eternity was hell, eternity was unbearable, and it was their entire fault. I could still feel the burn of my change, still here their laughs. My brothers- my enemies. I had not known the meaning of betrayal until them, had not known this craving for life until them. I blamed them, blamed them all.
I looked down at the mangled body before me; her eyes were wide with fright, her lips blue from the cold. She had been shivering, I remembered, looking for shelter. She had been at the wrong place at the wrong time. My throat had been burning, I couldn't stop myself. I could not keep control of my monster.
I had killed a child… I was no better than the rest of them. No better than the soulless monsters who had turned me to begin with. Her blood stained my hands, there was no excuses.
I kissed her frozen cheek with a soft whisper of an apology. I was sorry that there were monster like me in this world that hurt such pure sweet innocent lives like her own, sorry that she would never be able to live a life of love and happiness, sorry that on this cold December night she had not been able to feel the warmth.
I lifted my head up and gazed upon the moon, tilting my head back I closed my eyes. It had been so long since I had dreamed, so long since I have had the pleasure of sleep. I was tired, so tired of life, tired of this life, of my life. It was only my anger, my hatred that kept me alive.
I would act upon my revenge…
And then I would finally fall sleep…
Finally…
.