Disclaimer: I don't own anything (except my OC)!
Summary: "Oh…so you're scared of a little veggie burger, are you?" Austin tries to get his girlfriend to embrace the vegetarian lifestyle. Brainwashing may be involved. AustinOC, oneshot
Okay, so…I'm currently obsessed with Austin Aries. He's probably one of the only reasons I watch TNA. And I've noticed that not a lot of people write about him. There's very few stories with him as a main character, and that's very disappointing! So, I've decided to write this little thing. I hope that everyone enjoys this! It was quite fun to write.
Treat for the Tastebuds
Katherine stared at the item on the plate in front of her as if it were from another planet.
A crease in her brow, she grabbed the random fork that had been provided for her pre-meal salad, and prodded the offending item, half expecting it to sprout tentacles and start recreating a scene from The Blob. She wrinkled her nose and inhaled sharply through her teeth, stabbing the foodstuff once more.
"That's not an attractive look for you," her current annoyance ventured from across the booth.
She glanced up and stared at Austin Aries, who had a knowing smirk on his lips, something that made her want to punch him square in his stupid perfect face. "Shut up," she settled for saying.
"You're the one who looks like an electrocuted wombat," Austin replied. He was obviously enjoying every minute of her discomfort.
Her scowl deepened. "Nice one, Aries."
"Just doing my job," he said, grinning. He then prodded, "Oh…so you're scared of a little veggie burger, are you?"
"Not scared…just wary."
"So, you mean scared."
Katherine didn't bother replying to this. She stared down at the item on the table and withdrew the prongs of her fork as if she had just murdered something.
"Do I have to - "
"Not unless you want to waste seven dollars on a veggie burger that you didn't eat."
"You could eat it," she pointed out.
Austin rolled his shoulders, that smile never leaving his face. "Nah, I don't think I will."
Katherine huffed at him before moving her eyes down to the plate. For all intents and purposes, it really did look like a regular burger, but still…she knew what it was and she knew that it was probably cooked by some vegetarian voodoo.
"But," she said, grasping at straws, "you love…veggie…stuff."
"Me eating that will not help you grow as a person." His words were solemn sounding, but she could practically feel his smirk curve wider.
"What if I want to stay mini-sized?"
Austin barked a laugh at that. "Mini? You're five foot eight!"
"Metaphorically."
"Metaphorically that was stupid."
Katherine ground the heel of her palm on her forehead. "That's not…that…you…"
"Just eat the burger."
"That's hardly a burger, Austin."
"Says the girl who devours the little, gummy, candy burgers sold at seedy gas stations."
Katherine let a smile cross her face at that.
"Think of all the innocent cows you're saving, Kath," he said in a scarily soothing voice, one that reminded Katherine of all of the brainwashing cults that made their members drink bad Kool-Aid and then jump on a spaceship comet. Or something. "This is one cow that didn't have to die to satiate your craving for dead meat."
"No, that cow just dies for someone else and not myself." She huffed, leaning back and crossing her arms.
"But you love cows." The voice was as vacant and disturbing as ever.
She thought of the cow that dangled from her car keys. It even made mooing noises when you pushed a button on its backside. She remembered all the cows back home, how she loved them and how she hated when they were hurt. As long as I don't have to think about it, she always told herself. As long as I don't have to think about those how the kill them, I'll be fine, and I can eat my burgers without guilt.
And that had worked. Up until she met Austin.
Austin wasn't an obnoxious vegetarian. He was actually quite tolerable about the carnivores and omnivores in the general populace, but one day she had gone to his apartment and slipped in a movie that she thought was Anchorman but when she was given the sight of cows being slaughtered in the most gruesome ways instead of Ron Burgundy being all hilarious, she had screamed and he had explained how cows were really killed and all that awful, gory, unnecessary crap.
She still yet had to ask him why a cow snuff film - he had called it a documentary, that sicko - had been in the Anchorman DVD box…
Thus, Katherine's current predicament.
She had wanted to order a double cheeseburger so bad, but all she could see were the cows and their large, cute, brown eyes. Dying.
That thought spurred her into action. Her previous complaints had become all but moot as she remembered that damned film and those damned evil people that did that to those harmless cows. With one swift movement, Katherine took the veggie burger in her hands and swept it into her mouth, chowing down as if she were starving. Which, she realized with a vague surprise, she was.
Chew. Swallow. Chew. Swallow. Drink. Drink. Drink.
The veggie burger was gone in the blink of an eye and then Katherine stared at Austin, victory dancing in her eyes. She felt mildly ill for eating so fast, and didn't really remember what the burger tasted like, but in her cow-avenging glory, she hadn't minded.
Austin blinked at her, surprised. "Wow…"
She swallowed a few times, as if trying to fight something down her windpipe, and then looked at him, trying to hold in a burp - she was unsuccessful. "Ugh."
"You sick?"
Katherine shook her head no. Liar.
"You looked like Joey Chestnut just now."
"…I'm gonna be sick…" With no more warning, Katherine jolted out of her chair, its loud squeaks filling the diner as it was pushed against the wall, and ran to the bathroom. The door swung closed behind her.
"…definitely not Joey Chestnut."
Sighing, Austin Aries rose from his seat to go tend to his girlfriend who, quite possibly, was the most stupidly valiant person in the world.
End.