"Spike..."

Buffy softly spoke his name, trying desperately to get the man she loved to understand and be patient for awhile. She had a surprise visit from Angel earlier, who had gotten a wrong message saying she was dead. They talked and she explained the misunderstandings. Cordelia's vision was wrong, and Buffy did infact defeat Glory. Then the subject of Spike came up..

~~~*flashback*~~~

"Buffy... I have to say I'm shocked he's here with you. I mean... I just-"

"Angel, please. I know ok. It's not that shocking-"

"What do you mean it's not-"

"I mean," she started, cutting him off, "he's a good fighter and when I wasn't there that night on the tower he protected Dawn for me. I love Xander and Willow and Giles, but god forbid anything truly apocolypt-y came along..." she trailed off, leaving the sentence as was.

"I wasn't talking about that." Angel said dryly.

"Then what're you-"

"Do you have feelings for him?"

Her eyes bugged, followed by a frequent head shake 'no'. She cleared her throat. "Angel, how can you even think that? He's... Spike! I-I mean, it's just he's been living here and helping everyone and thats great and he didn't have to do it, but me and him? Never gonna happen..."

"Good." He said bluntly. "He's a monster Buffy."

"He's a vampire like you." she pointed out.

"Yes, but I have a soul remember? He's evil Buffy and getting mixed up in anything with him is dangerous. You should get rid of him."

"He's not dangerous. He's chipped remember?" she bit back.

"Buffy, regardless, the minute he figures how to get that chip out.."

"Angel." Buffy cut in, "I've heard it all alright. Give it a rest. Spike's my problem and I'll handle him. Got it?"
~~~*end of flashback*~~~

What Buffy didn't know though, was that Spike was passing by in the hall and heard the whole conversation.

But she knew every word she said was a lie. That had to count for something, right? She just didn't want Angel snooping around in her business and wanted her love life to be left alone for once. Unfortunately for her, Spike believed every word she said.

She managed to get rid of Angel and when she headed to the hall way, she saw his broken form leaning against the wall. The minute he spotted her, he left. It took her a minute to put the puzzle together and figure out he heard what she said to Angel and then she chased him down to the cemetary. She was hoping to get him to listen to her while she explained the truth. That she was in love with him and she didn't want him to leave. She finally got him to slow down and at least look at her.

She could not bring herself to say anything else other than whispering his name, but she was trying. Even as he stood before her, tilting his head with that hopeful and pleading look in his eyes, a look she knew all too well. He gave her that look on every rare occassion she would give him a complement, or let him help her patrol without belittling him, or even at times where she just let him stay the night at her house watching movies in the living room with her. Chasing him down must've given him some hope, hope that maybe she did feel something for him.

But she had to say something, or she'd lose him. He deserved an explanation. After all, when she defeated Glory and Dawn was safe, her and Spike's relationship seemed to really grow into something special to her. He was always there to help her, especially with Dawn. God, he loved her kid sister so much, he was willing to die for her. He almost did, twice! She saw him for the man Spike really was. William. He wasn't a monster. The man was always there but Buffy had never given him the chance to show him to her. He finally got his chance and in no time he had her falling for him and falling faster by the minute.

As she looked into his eyes, she saw that her long hesitation and lack of any sort of explanation had caused him to bring up his sheilds around himself. His eyes turned to stone right before her and he wore a perfect mask upon his beautiful features.

"I get it Slayer, really, I do." he said flatly.

Oh no, he said 'Slayer'. She hated it when he called her that. It was what he called her when they were mortal enemies, as if she were nothing but 'The Slayer'. Spike had this special way of making her feel like a real normal girl with him and she loved his pet names. Especially when he called her by her name, it sounded so beautiful coming from his mouth with that sexy accent. Buffy then realized she had no idea what Spike was talking about and was about to comment on it when Spike continued speaking.

"I guess all that we shared together really didn't mean as much to you as it did to me. No matter the case, as much as I love you and want you to love me, truth of the matter is that I can't make you love me. Hell, I'd bloody well have tried if there was a chance at making you love me. But you don't and you never will, I get it." Buffy's eyes widened and she was about to inturrupt him when he started talking again, "No, let me say this, I need to say it."

Spike looked at her with pleading eyes, just asking for her to listen quietly to what he had to say. Buffy nodded slowly and looked at him with a soft, yet scared, expression on her face.

"Buffy, I've loved you for bleedin' forever it seems. And I'll always love you. Even if you don't want to see me ever again and want me to stay out of your life, I'll always love you. You're the one for me and I'll never leave you. I'll always be here to protect you and Dawn. But-"

"But?" Buffy asked quickly. She was enjoying what he was saying up until he said 'but'. Now she was worried.

"It hurts. God it hurts so much! I've never wanted somebody, anybody, so much in my entire life and it hurts to know that I can never have you. That the one I want to be with forever thinks of me as a monster and wants nothing to do with me unless I was being her loyal, obedient dog! I can't take it anymore. I'll always be here for you, but I need to move on. Keep some pride and dignity in tact while I still can."

Spike straightened up at that last sentence and avoided looking Buffy in the eyes. He could feel her gaze on him and he just didn't want to see the mocking look on her face.

Then he heard sniffling and smelled a hint of salt in the air. He looked up to the direction it was coming from and saw Buffy crying. She held her arms folded in front of her as she tried to hide her tears, but they were streaming down her face and she just couldn't hold it in anymore.

Instantly his bravado was gone and replaced with concern. "Oh, luv, don't cry, I hate it when you cry." Spike said soothingly as he rushed towards her with open arms. He wrapped her small frame in his arms and she clung to him tightly, sobbing loudly and openly. Spike ran his hands up and down her back, trying to calm her down.

"I'm such a bitch!" she cried in between sobs.

"No kitten. You're not a bitch, just stubborn is all." he smiled lightly to her.

She looked up from his chest and started to speak.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. I just didn't want Angel to suspect anything 'cause I didn't want him trying to butt into my love life. You're not a monster. You're amazing and you're always there for me and Dawn, you know how to make me laugh and how to piss me off, but you never back down from me. And you're just so... so... You're just the most amazing person I know. I'm so horrible to you and I said those nasty things earlier and still you're trying to calm me down and just comfort me! You're the best man anyone could ever ask for." she took a deep breath and tried to calm herself down from her long overdue speech.

"Wow luv.. that was-"

"I'm not done.... I was, um, kinda wondering if you'd.. be..." she shyly looked down,"my man... if you want..."

Spike was speechless. Did she just say what I think she did?

Buffy looked up to Spike's face. After his long silence, her insecurities came back up and her moments bravery fled away. "Uh, of-of course you don't want to.. I get it.. Boy was I stupid for even thinking that!" she giggled awkwardly, trying to cover up her hurt and embarassment. "Just pretend I never-"

"Buffy?" Spiked interupted her rambling.

She looked up at him, wearing her heart on her sleeve. "Yes?"

"Please, luv, don't play with me. It hurts too much-"

"I wasn't playing! I mean, I'm not playing! I love you!"

Both Spike and Buffy frooze. Spike couldn't believe his ears and Buffy couldn't believe how easy it was to say the words she was so scared to say to him.

She smiled brightly then, reapeating again:

"I love you Spike. Oh God I love you so much!" God, it was coming out so easily and now she just couldn't say it enough. She wanted to tell him for the rest of their lives those three beautiful words.

Spike was damn near in heaven. The one woman he was so sure a minute ago would never want him just said she loved him. Three times!

Buffy couldn't help letting her insecurities butt in, "Do-do you still love me?" she whispered to him, scared to death he'd say no.

That caught him off guard, "Do I..? Bloody hell woman! Of course I love you!"

Buffy smiled and let out a breath of relief, but before she could say anything, Spike had walked to stand right in front of her and wrapped his arms around her small waist. A moments pause. Spike looked deeply into Buffys eyes, and then brought his lips down onto hers for a passionate kiss.

When they parted, Spike looked deeply into her eyes and asked, "Do you mean it luv? Please tell me you mean it."

She smiled up at him, a smile that went straight through him and felt as if it had all the power to warm him undead heart.

"I love you Spike. I've been wanting to say it for awhile now, and I mean it. What do you say we go home and tell Dawn the great news?"

"News?"

"I've got me a sexy vampire boyfriend," Spike grinned, and Buffy giggled softly. He just couldn't get over how the worst night of his life had just turned into the best one. Of course with more great ones to come.

"I'd love to Goldilocks, I'd love to." he said softly while swooping down and giving her a kiss.

THE END