Falling
AN: there's no particular time for this piece... I suppose it's before Ethan. I think this could be set almost anywhere... but I suppose it's best set in the era where they're not officially an item, and Justin is still the little stalker he was once ^^ so... early season one?
They stop each other from jumping.
The most literally sense of that, would of course be the fact that Michael is always there in case Brian wants to jump off a building. Michael will stop him from jumping, because they've done it for each other for as long as they can remember, and it makes sense somehow.
It's common for Brian to push Michael off the edge himself. It happens a lot, really. He pushes the people he loves to see if they'll break when they hit the ground. In an insane way, it's his manner to show he cares. Michael never breaks – and if he ever does, Brian has enough sense to get out superglue and mend him back together again. He's a bastard and a narcissist, but if he loves you enough to push you, he'll sure as hell won't let you die because of the fall.
Justin knows that a lot of people think Michael has an insane sort of crush on him – he doesn't buy it. Michael is a loyal friend, not in love. Brian is what he knows best, Brian is the one person he can push and push and push, only to be caught in return. You have to be a fucking moron to give that up – so when they go off about the mad crush Michael harbours, Justin ignores them. Because he knows it's not true. They've been pushing each other all their lives. If Michael loved him, he would've let go by now.
Because that's what in-love people do, Justin knows this to be very, very true: they let go sometimes. It'll just be a slip of the hand, but when you're being caught, a slip is the only thing to keep you from falling, and you do not want it. In-love people make the mistake of letting go of each other's hand. 'A slip of the hand' can mean anything, symbolically. Brian slips, Justin slips, they all slip. And they're left with broken pieces to mend – only when you're in love, mending doesn't go that easy. So when Brian tries to fix him with his superglue, it comes off as plain sad, and they'll continue to slip until nothing's left.
Brian has slipped so many times Justin stopped counting. But as with every slip, it's not just his fault – it is as much Justin's as it is Brian's, and Justin is old enough to realise that. They're at a major cliff and there's only rock-bottom to be awaited, so where do they go from now? Brian never falls when Justin's there. It's as if some part of the man doesn't trust him enough to let him witness the moment. To bring down all walls and fall, no fear, just the expectance of a crash. It the whole entire point of any relationship – to allow yourself to fall to pieces in front of another. Brian is too proud, and unjustly so. Because Justin can fix him, if only he'd be allowed to try.
Justin reckons that he just has to never let go of Brian's hand ever again. Because lovers slip, it's true, but when they get over the fall, they are so much stronger than ever before. The point is that they need to be able to slip in order for that to happen. If Michael keeps Brian from falling any longer, Justin will never have his chance to let it slip – he'll never be there to witness a wall-less Brian, in a thousand pieces at his feet. He'll never get a chance to superglue Brian back together.
So Justin holds on tight to that hand. Because one day, they'll keep each other from falling. And it will be a glorious day.
AN: first Queer as Folk fic... oh, also, this is for QAF USA... if that wasn't clear ^^ I actually preferred the UK version, because at least the ending wasn't such a load of bullshit. Review if you will ^^