This one is the weirdest one so far, believe me. o.O

.-.-.-

"Hughes, are you even listening to me! My notebook just died a few days ago, and I need you to come to the funeral. Hughes?"

Hughes continued writing the report he was writing, attempting to ignore Mustang. The fact that Mustang was crying, Lieutenant Hawkeye was looking through his books, and Fury, Breda, Farman, and Havoc all appeared to be drunk and were singing baudy drinking songs such as 'If You're Happy and you Know It' made this very difficult. But he had managed quite well anyway, up until Armstrong had broken the door down and started carving Hughes' desk into a large model of his left eyebrow. With his hands. Which were suddenly furry, because that makes him cooler. ANYWAY, Hughes was writing a very important report and waiting for Scieszka to come in and save him in some way. Then his desk collapsed.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Sciezska had a difficult problem to tackle.

She had problems taking her newborn son Squiggly (DON'T ASK) to work.

She had gotten married 6 months earlier, and somehow had a son now. Unsure of what he looked like because her glasses were bad, she typically had her new husband Kriata (DON'T ASK) take care of him during the day. The main problem with this was the fact that when she got home from doing Hughes' bidding all day, there was a strange black substance on the walls. So she decided to take him to work.

That was her first mistake.

As soon as she walked into the office, she noticed something wrong.

The Colonel was there, as well as his posse. And Armstrong. Attempting to take no notice of them, she set Squiggly down in a crib that was suddenly there and sat down at her desk, pulling out writing materials.

That was her second mistake.

Almost instantly, Maes' fatherly instincts dragged him away from the conversation he was having with Roy and over to the crib. He looked down. Then he looked at Scieszka. Then he looked back at Squiggly. Then back at Scieszka.

"...Scieszka, this baby is a giant squid."

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Hearing this, Armstrong stopped his carving of the giant eyebrow and ran over to the crib. He vaulted over it and landed neatly on the other side, looking down into the crib.

"OMG! He's been horribly disfigured! There's nothing we can do!"
He burst into tears and ripped his shirt off.

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Completely ignoring Armstrong, Hawkeye walked over to the crib. She glanced down at the baby, and then over to Scieszka again.

"...Sciezska, are you wearing good glasses?"
Scieszka shook her head.

"No, Lieutenant. I'm waiting for them to arrive. I ordered them a few days ago."
-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Hughes sighed.

"Well, let's hope nothing happens between now and the time you get home. You know, nothing crazy like normal."

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

That night, when Scieszka got home from work, she sat down in a chair and took off her glasses, putting Squiggly down in a playpen. Seeing that she had some home, her husband came over to her and gave her a pair of glasses that had arrived in the mail.

She put them on, glanced at her husband, and screamed.

Her husband was the kraken.