Driven

Summary: When Edward gets in the way of a crazed vampire and ends up dead who will keep Bella from the brink of insanity? What will this do to her family?

I own nothing unfortunately I just play with Stephanie's wonderful characters!

Despair

BPOV

The emptiness, the all consuming dark, I thought I had experienced this before. Maybe my human memories are dim enough that I don't properly remember it but I can't believe my human self could deal with this unbearable pain. The worst part is that the others have started to move on; even our beautiful daughter is starting to live again. I am still trapped in the dark but without the others it seems a lot lonelier. The only person that makes me feel a little better is Jasper and that is a double edged sword. He of course feels my pain, my helplessness, through his gift and it drags him down to my level which means he spends a good deal of time avoiding me. I suppose I understand why he does but it makes me angry still.

"Mom?" her soft voice comes from behind me pulling me out of the dark slightly. I don't turn to her though instead I stare into the woods from my position at the window. "Rose and I are going hunting. Will you come?" I shake my head, my soft locks brushing my shoulders. "You have to eat mom." I turn slightly but don't look at her, she reminds me of him too much.

"I will… later. Tonight I'll go; Jacob said he will go with me." I turn towards the end table by the bed and finger the bracelet from so long ago my finger brushing both the wolf and hard stone.

"Oh I didn't realize you two had talked today." Even with my back turned I knew her brow had puckered, I wondered for a moment if it was the imprint that made her so jealous or if it was just a normal part of her personality. I didn't respond so she turned and left, her soft foot steps retreating down the hall and then down the stairs.

After her scent dissipated I smelt a fainter sent and turned towards the door. Jasper stood leaning on the door frame. "Hello Bella" He said his face strained. I felt a little better as if he was taking some of my pain as his own burden or maybe he was giving some of his Jasper juice to me. I felt one of the corners of my mouth lift just slightly at that, it felt foreign and instinctively it was turned into a frown.

"Jasper" It wasn't exactly a greeting so much as a statement.

"You shouldn't be so morose in front of her, you know? She can't help that she is moving on, it's part of life. Eventually you will move on as well." Jasper spoke softly with a tone of despair in his voice and I knew he understood even through his logical statement.

I shook my head "I don't think I can ever move on." My eyes dropped to the carpet just before Jasper crushed me into an embrace, and then we both sobbed tearlessly.

Ninety years does wonders for building bonds even with those that initially you can never see yourself being close with, so Jaspers embrace was comforting while as a human it would have seemed scary.

I'm not sure how long we stood there wrapped in my despair but we were startled out of it when Alice spoke, "You just need to get back in the saddle. It doesn't have to mean anything Bella just find a stranger and have your way with him. You have enough tolerance that it could even be a human." Her words didn't make sense to me. I'd only ever been with him how could I ever just have random sex, she must be talking about something else or be trying to make a joke.

"Maybe she's right, Bella, it doesn't have to be with a stranger though. Maybe there is someone you trust?" Jasper spoke softly and a thought skittered across my brain and although it was just a small thought and it came and went quickly Alice froze her eyes going blank looking at something we could not see and then before I realized what had happened she was against Jasper's side clinging to his arm and she was growling. Jaspers face showed no emotion but his eyes flickered from her, to me, and then to the window freezing.

Awkward silence ensued until I heard the heavy footsteps and was met with the smell of Jacob. I looked past Jasper and Alice to him as he headed our way and then to the window just realizing that the woods had grew dark even to my keen eyes. It must be a moonless night.

"Are you ready?" Jacob's rough voice brought me back to him.

I nodded and stepped around Jasper as I walked towards Jacob. As I did I heard a soft sigh from Jasper and Alice tensed again.

JHPOV

"You just need to get back in the saddle. It doesn't have to mean anything Bella just find a stranger and have your way with him. You have enough tolerance that it could even be a human." Alice's voice broke through our despair and Bella pulled away from me as if burned.

I considered what Alice said and agreed in a way. Maybe connecting with someone new in a romantic way would help. Not with a stranger though, that isn't sweet Bella at all. No it has to be someone she knows and trusts, ""Maybe she's right, Bella, it doesn't have to be with a stranger though. Maybe there is someone you trust?" I find myself saying as I ponder the possibilities. Lee from her philosophy class maybe? Jacob I know they had chemistry when she was human, but now she wasn't and there was Nessie, besides I didn't like the idea. Maybe… maybe I could be the one for her, me and Alice had both occasionally indulged in someone else with the permission of the other; yes I'd ask Alice when Bella left to hunt. As soon as I thought this Alice had a moment of sight seeing and immediately afterward was all over me gripping my arm clinging to my side. I looked down at her, then to Bella, then out the window my mind was whirling but I kept my face blank. Pain and confusion came from Bella, while Jealousy and confusion and fear came from Alice, I didn't understand. Obviously Alice would not be ok with it. I wasn't sure how I felt about that, how I felt about Bella or anything really. The swirl of emotions in the room were quietly eating at me.

I smelled him before he spoke and jealousy rose in me slightly.

"Are you ready?"

Bella nodded in response and stepped around me and as she did I resisted the urge to stop her and instead breathed in her smell sighing at the sweetness. Alice tensed beside me and gripped my arm tighter hurting me slightly and I knew as soon as Bella was out of hearing range a fight would be hashed out in this room.

A/N: Looking for a beta! Also being a brand new published writer I ask you to review!