Disclaimer: We don't own Trigun but the American people are willing to die for us is order to get it… Or E-bay for that matter. And I don't think I have to say it, but I don't own Silent Hill either.

C-E/D-E: As promised in one of my other chapters that I forgot, we shall write the random adventures of Trigun, as told by the little dust bunnies beneath my bed. Of course, starting a story sucks as hell for me so I will place this burden on fellow writer (and occasional friend) Didrean Eve. Haha.

Chapter One:

Parodies- Silent Hill aka Damn Stinkin Zombies

((((Start))))

((Onna Sandsteamer))

The chandelier swung overhead as the light from the arching windows dimmed into a fiery grave. The silence filled in where humans once stood. The shadows of figures from the past rustled as the steamer forged it's way forward through the night. Only two beings remained from the crowd, once dominating the room… Two shadows that remained unnoticed throughout the evening, nestled quietly in the darkest corner of the dinning hall.

Whack. Knives kicked his darker haired brother with his foot, putting his book down. "Hey, idiot. Wake up. Everyone's gone and I don't want to go back to the room with your two spider women."

Vash looked up from the crook in his arm, a large red spot where it rested against his shirt sleeve. "Ugh. You act like they're going to bite you."

Knives stood up, wacking Vash on the head, "Duh. Why do you think we came here in the first place? In fact, why did you have to steal Meryl's diary and sell it on E-bay anyway? Where did you even find E-bay!"

Vash squinted as he stood up and held his head to stop the pounding headache, "You know what? I would've never gotten in trouble if you weren't the one who BOUGHT IT!"

Knives scoffed and walked down the hall to the group's room with Vash huddling after him, like a shadow with a broken leg. The duo did not notice how quiet the halls had gotten since they left nor how the sand steamer seemed to be slowing down. Instead, our two favorite brothers paused at the door marked 1156 and stood staring as if it were the very gates of hell itself. And lo, it was.

"I KNOW YOU TWO ARE OUT THERE! AND IF YOU KNOW WHAT'S GOOD FOR YOU, YOU'LL COME IN ON YOUR HANDS AND KNEES!" a soprano voice echoed from the wooden door, making the two men flinched. Knives stepped back and let his sighing brother drop down and crawl in as the elder held the door open. Muffled voices could be heard, but mostly just Meryl yelling at him for being such a "pudding filled sock puppet" at which the childish Milly responded, "Ooo! Pudding."

Knives leaned against the hall's wall with his ankles crossed and chuckled at his brother's whimpers. Damn, he went about causing Vash suffering all wrong. He should have gotten this woman to torture his brother… Oh well. He had fun with the Gung-ho fools and that's all that matters.

Wham! Suddenly, the steamer lurches to a stop, sending the tall, platinum blonde plant toppling over into the room's door. Meryl jumped up and ran to the door, trampling Vash who laid sprawled where he fell, and opened the door… Which didn't seem to want to open. In her worry, she repeatedly rammed her shoulder against the wood, not noticing the wails of pain coming from the other side. "Stand back!" Milly said, pulling her stun gun into position…

((On the Other Side of the Door))

Knives hurried to his feet just as the door stopped ramming into his head. Cha-chick. He stared at the door, still kneeling.

BAMMM!

Milly hopped through the doorway with her stun gun slung over her shoulder and searched the hallway. Meryl's head popped out from behind her and noticed the door pinned against the wall; she sighed and pushed the taller woman out into the hall, walking over and prying the bullet off the door. "Darnit Milly. You didn't have to wreck the door! How are we going to pay this off?"

Vash crawled out of the room and looked around, "That's weird. I could've sworn Knives was out here!"

"Ugh." The three turned towards the moaning door.

"AH! It's a ghost!" Cha-chick. Meryl grabbed Milly's gun before it went off as Vash scrambled up and ran to the door, prying it off his elder sibling.

"No Milly! It's not a ghost!" Meryl struggled with the taller girl until the message sank in and Knives fell to the ground, bleeding heavily. Vash fell to his knees and clutched the lighter blonde's head in a hug.

"YOU WERE TOO YOUNG! WHY MUST THE GOOD DIE!"

WHACK! "Let go of me you idiot! Ow dammit. That hurts like hell. And you! Learn to look at what's blocking the door before you beat some one's head in! Ergh," he growled, standing up. Meryl glared at him but then remembered why they ran out there in the first place.

"Oh yeah. Anyone know why the sand steamer stopped?"

Milly shrugged, Vash shook his head and Knives just glared, wiping blood off his forehead. Meryl growled and started walking down the hall followed by the rest. She found her way to the cockpit and pounded on the metal door. When the only sound that returned were the echoes of her banging, the group ventured inside only to find everyone had disappeared. The brakes were pushed to their max and the lights blinked on and off, sending an eerie feeling throughout the room.

They piled outside the cockpit and formed a loose huddle. Knives mused for a while and finally said, "They ditched us. The bastards ditched us. Dammit."

Vash whimpered, "I wish I could say this was the first time this has happened to me but it isn't."

Meryl sighed, rubbing her temples, "Figures, the first vacation I get with you and we're stuck in the middle of the desert. Why do I love you?(1)"

Milly smiled. "But how do we know we're in the middle of the desert? I say we go outside and look! Maybe we just stopped to get some gas!"

Everyone stared at the tall brunette and shook their heads, but soon started walking towards the emergency exit. Vash opened the door. Pwish. A yellow inflatable slide popped out and slowly filled up until it reached the ground, some six stories down. The four pairs of eyes stared at the contraption finish filling itself in silence…

"So who's going first?" Meryl asked as the two brother's turned to each other.

"Paper, rock, SCREW YOU!" Knives said, tossing his beloved brother down the slide. Swiff. Vash rocketed down the smooth material and shot off the end, skidding a good twenty yards until he stopped. Knives desperately tried to hold in his chuckles, so did not notice Meryl creeping up behind him.

"You're next." Push. Swiff.

"AHHHHHHHH!" skeeef. He skidded and stopped next to Vash. Meryl sat down on the slide and slid easily, getting up and kicking the two to help them up. Milly slid down just as easily and hopped to the group, actually helping the two men to their feet. A curious fog gripped close to their bodies and soon they could not tell left from right or sand steamer from the ground.

"Wow. How weird! I don't remember ever seeing fog on Gunsmoke!" Milly said, her voice piercing the misty soup.

Knives searched his surroundings and rubbed his chin, "Hmm. This is weird. In fact, it reminds me of a game I played when I was a kid…"

Vash sighed, "Ugh. Not that game…"

((Flashback))

The small SEEDs ship room was illuminated with the tv screen and the only sounds were the mumbled groans of the undead. One small plant huddled in front of the tv screen as his bloodshot eyes scoured the screen looking for the undead to maim. He never noticed the door slide open or his younger brother, wearing bunny pajamies and rubbing his cerulean eyes. "Knives, Rem says you need to go to sleep… She says it's not healthy to stay up for three days straight…."

Knives growled, "I'll go to sleep when Rem dies!" He continued to stare at the screen as his brother shrugged and walked back down the hall where Rem lay in her bed, sleeping. The door opened and Vash nudged his foster mother until she grunted.

"Rem. Rem. Knives still won't go to sleeeeeep," he whined to her closed eyes. Paff! He squealed as Rem tossed a pillow at his head and pulled him into her arms and onto the bed. They laid down on the bed and Rem smiled into his blonde spikes.

"Don't worry about him. He's just found Steve's old PS2. He'll get over it. Now, go to sleep silly!"

((End Flashback))

"Hmm. I don't like this. It looks too much like the game I played… Guys?" He looked around only to find the group move on without him, barely distinguishable in the fog. He growled and jogged to catch up. "Are you guys even listening to me? I mean, I could just kill all of you in one swoop of my hand! I'm a very dangerous man!"

"Yeah. Sure. Milly thought she saw a town over here so we're checking it out. I mean, what could be lurking in this fog? Zombies? Please!" Vash said waving his hand, nonchalantly.

Knives growled but followed them anyway, noticing the ground shift from sandy to gravel as trees started to fill in the sides, moving from glade to forest to impenetrable jungle of tall elks. Knives looked forward hoping to see the others noticed and sighed when he saw how oblivious they were. He sent a glance over his shoulder and froze, spinning around to see a tall, weathered wall blocking their way back.

"Knives?" Said plant whipped around and saw Vash with his head cocked to the side. "What's that?" he asked, walking next to his twin. Knives growled and punched his brother's arm.

"It's a freakin wall! We can't go back. I told you this was a bad idea but you listened to your spiders instead! Now we're stuck in this- this PLACE!" he finished, tossing his arms into the air and stomping down the road, glaring at the two women as he passed them.

"Alright Knives," Meryl said putting down an adamant foot, "Since you've played the game, why don't you tell us what's going on?"

Knives spun around. "I'd be happy too. Of course, what good will it do if we can't get out anyway?" he growled and turned around walking down the road. "There's no point standing around and gaping; we have to get into town and fight our way back out."

Milly jogged up to his side as the Vash and Meryl fell behind in silence. "How did the game end, Mr. Knives?"

Knives smiled as the town came into view, "There are... multiple... endings."

The group paused at a road sign, hanging half off it's post with faded white words on a weathered green backdrop, that read:

Silent Hill
 Resort and Spa

Come for the Pampering, Stay for Expirence

Knives chuckled at the sign as the others looked at him oddly. The town was decrepit and seemed to jump out of the old earth books. Fog still held the group together as they followed Knives to a platform overlooking a misty lake stretching till the ends of time. Buildings lingered at the edge of the white air and shadows moved with no body to make it. In a few words, the group was scared.

They found refuge in a bathroom beside the platform and closed the door as best the rusty hinges would let them to think of a plan. Knives mused in the back and the two women stayed far from the door as Vash searched for anything to use as a weapon(1). The elder plant spun around and pushed past his brother, shoving the door open and walking into the fog. Knives spun around as Vash walked out with a rusty pipe in hand, snatching it from his sibling and saying, "It's no good just standing there. We need to find a map and the radio..."

Meryl and Milly walked out of their safety and looked at Vash, who shrugged and followed after his brother, keeping the girls close. The fog swirled in their wake and more than once, Vash swore he heard moaning...

Knives walked down the streets like he knew the place, with the pipe slung over his shoulder and his ears perked for any sounds. Finally, the group rounded a corner and found the relative safety of a bar. Knives casually walked to it as moaning crept closer from the fog.

WHAMCrack. The other three, more scared group members tackled their leader and scampered for the bar's door, leaving Knives growling on the cement. The tall plant managed to get up and dust himself off as a zombie limped from the mist, moaning.

PING! A well placed hit to the temple and the zombie fell. PING. splorch. PING splick. Knvies burried the pipe's end into the zombies skull, enjoying the sound and the dark blood leaking onto the ground. He stood up and flicked a piece of platinum hair from his eyes, disheveled from the attack. He swung the pipe back over his shoulder and whistled himself into the bar.

Inside, the main character spun the pipe and leaned it against a bar stool. He leaned over the counter and grabbed a glass, filling it with water from a bottle nearby and sitting down on a stool, himself. The plant took a deep gulp and filled his mouth halfway with the lifegiving liquid when a voice spoke to him.

"God. Can't you drink anythin' other than water, you pansy!"

PFFFT! The water jumped from Knives mouth as he jumped out of the chair and stared wildly at the man sitting next to him. Sure enough, the black suit, slightly worn from fighting and weather; the black stringy hair and charcoal eyes above that long nose. The only thing different was a pale tint to his skin and dark circles beneath his eyes.

Knives stared at Wolfwood, former minion and thought to be dead.

Which, in itself, scared the hell out of the plant. Knives backed up until he could reach the pipe, which he grabbed.

PING!Thud. Knives huffed as he stared at Wolfwood's limp body sprawled on the floor. The plant kicked him for good measures and stepped over the dead body and opened a door at the back of the bar. He found Vash and the girls holding guns and other assorted weapons. Vash smiled.

"Can you believe it? They have an entire arsenal in this little bar! Oh! And we found this radio! And a map!" Knives sighed at his little brother and did not notice his sibling pale with fear, until an arm drapped itself around the elder plant's shoulders and Wolfwood's form hung loosely from the stiff Knives. The former priest rubbed his head as blood trickled down his face.

"Ow! Damn, Knives. You got a mean right arm there! If I wasn't already dead, I'd be dead!" he said, pushing himself off Knives and walking back to the bar.

Knives stood with his eyes closed as the others stared at the laughing priest behind him. The elder plant shook his head and snapped his hand behind him, pointing to the nonchalant zombie. "See! You see why I said this was a bad idea! Oooh. I can't wait until one of you turn into a zombie..."

Milly walked past the fuming Knives and hugged Wolfwood, who seemed to have a hard time not eating her or breathing... It was hard to tell. "Oh! Mr. Priest! I'm so glad you're back! I was soo worried when you didn't come back to me!"

Meryl ran up to them and pried Milly away, seeing the man's face turn a bad shade of blue. PING!thud. Knives snuck up on the zombie and hit him over the head once more. The plant stood over his fallen victim and watched his face, making sure he was dead this time. He ignored the wails of Milly and started to walk back outside with the radio on and map in hand, until...

A clammy hand latched on to his retreating ankle and a sharp pain made the grown man welp and fall to the ground, sending the map and radio clatter to the floor. Knives grabbed at his ankle, twisting around to see Wolfwood's smiling face and mouth dappled with blood as he stood up, wiping the crimson from his grin. "Ha! Looks like Mr. I'm-gonna-hit-the-zombie-over-the-head is gonna turn into a zombie himself! How's it feel! Think I'll take a few swings at you when you turn!" he finished, sticking out his tounge as Knives glared at him.

Vash ran over to his brother and helped him up to the barstool, settling him down and spinning around to hit Wolfwood over the head. The priest rubbed his head as the former gunman yelled, "Why'd you do that! If he turns into a zombie, we'll never be able to get out of here! He's the only one who knows what we should do!"

Knives reached out and touched his brother's arms, wincing in the pain from his leg (2). "It's ok. There should be a remedy in the hospital. I'm not human, so I should be able to make it there without changing too early. We have guns. We have a map. And the radio will tell us when there's a zombie nearby when it's on," Knives smiled, something so uncharacteristic that it made everyone shiver. His face flushed as he leaned into the counter and Vash turned to brace him. "It's ok. I'll be fine. I've been through worse," he finished with a glare at Vash.

Meryl nodded and grabbed the radio and map from where it fell from Knives' hands. "Let's go. We need the remedy before he changes and eats all of us," she said, taking control of the group. Vash nodded and helped his brother up, Milly walked out of the door first with a machete in her hand and Wolfwood strolled out, smoking.

They wandered into the street with the moans of hundreds of zombies threatening on all sides to burst from the mist and attack... The hospital was miles away and Knives was slowly turning into one of the undead, thanks to "stupid" Wolfwood...

"Let's go," Meryl said, cocking a shotgun and marching into the mist.

((((End))))

1) You can't tell me that Meryl didn't love Vash at the end of the anime! And.. um the end of the anime is where this is set. In case you're wondering.

2) They don't have weapons because Vash decided the only way Knives could appreciate humans is if he didn't have a way to kill them. This story is set After the Series if that helps... Please. Take either explanation.

3) Is it me, or does Knives have a low tolerance for pain? Oh well. He doesn't like pain and that's way the bite is bothering him.

C-E/D-E: Oh my god, yes! The first chapter is finally DONE! I think this is the longest chapter I've ever written. And the co-author is Didrean Eve... Don't know if she's written anything but she's great for inspiration! Anyway. Yup, I felt lonely being left out of the whole Random Stories group and I like the way I've done this. I hope you do too!