*Judy Fabray's POV when she learns that Quinn is pregnant. Lines from the episode "Ballad".*
(I'm new to this, please forgive my terrible formatting.)
"You too. Get out of my house" Russell said directly to Quinn. Quinn's hurt and confused face still haunts me today.
"You can't do that, she didn't do anything wrong. Please Mrs. Fabray, please do something." My daughter's boyfriend begs me to step in and help. I sit, frozen, not able to bring any words to my mouth.
"Don't bother Finn. If she wanted to do something she would have when she found out I was pregnant." My eyes fall on her and I try to silently tell her that I am sorry, that I didn't know what to do. That I was just as confused as her.
"You knew?" Russell asks me, his voice full of accusation and bewilderment.
"I-No. She didn't tell me anything." I try to cover for myself. I can't get on Russell's bad side. I can't.
"But you knew. And I needed you. I needed my mom. And you were so scared of what he would if he found out, that you just pushed it inside like we do every bad feeling in this house. If you don't talk about it, it doesn't exist." I don't know what hurts more; hearing the loathing in my daughter's voice as she accuses me, or knowing that everything she just said is true.
"Now do not turn this on us! You! Are the disappointment here!" Russell bellows at her. I want to tell him to stop yelling at her. I want to, but I can't.
"Why?" Quinn now has tears in her eyes.
"Because, I'm not a little girl anymore?" Her voice gets quieter.
"Because I made a mistake?" I can see my daughter genuinely wants the answer to the question. I feel even worse knowing that she will never get it.
"Who are you? I don't recognize you at all." Russell's remark stings her; you can see the agony in her eyes. All she ever wanted in life was Russell's approval and love, and for the first time, she does not have it.
"I'm your daughter. Who loves you. And I know this must be really hard for you, but I just need my daddy to hold me and tell me it's going to be okay." She begs him to come to her, and embrace her. But he refuses, and walks away.
"Judy!" Russell calls me into the kitchen, and I get up, too ashamed of myself to meet my daughters eyes.
Russell instructs that Quinn has 30 minutes to pack and the get out of his house. She then runs, crying, up the stairs to her bedroom. Russell manages to force Finn out of the door, threatening to call the police if he ever sets foot on our property again. Finn has a dumbfounded expression on his face as he exits, and, God bless him, that boy waits outside in the cold for the entire half hour as Quinn gathers her things. When the timer goes off, Quinn is already by the door, just about to exit. I watch from across the hall as she turns around one last time. Her angelic face is caked with salty tears, and her hazel eyes pleading. She looks directly at Russell.
"Daddy" she says, right as Russell slams the door in her face, and turns away, never looking back at his youngest daughter.
When I am sure that he isn't watching me, I make my way cautiously to the window and watch my daughter walk straight out of my life.
I jolt awake in bed, a nervous sweat breaking out over my body. It is still the middle of the night, and I've had that same nightmare. Again. I take a deep breath and lie back in bed, trying to tell myself that it was just a dream.
Unfortunately, it wasn't.
TWO MONTHS LATER
Milk; check.
Eggs; check.
Baby carrots; check.
Salad dressing; check.
I am at the grocery store going over my shopping list when I accidently ram my cart right into another shopper's cart.
"Oh my, I am so sorry! Are you okay?" I ask the stranger, looking up from my list for the first time.
"Hi mom." I look up to stare right into the hazel eyes of my own daughter Quinn. I gasp, trying to collect my escaping thoughts. I look down at Quinn's swollen belly, which now protrudes from her stomach. She is wearing a pink baby-doll dress with a large white sweater over, as if she is trying to cover up her mistake. The silver cross that has become her trademark still hangs proudly from her neck.
"Qu-Quinny" I stutter out. "Wh-What are you doing here?"
"Shopping" Quinn answers plainly, trying to push her cart past.
"Wait. Can we go somewhere and talk? How about coffee?" I am desperate to try to talk to my daughter, to reason with her. Justify what we did. What I did.
"I can't drink coffee. I'm pregnant, in case you've forgotten" Quinn says, enunciating the word I want most not to hear.
"Well then... I'll buy you a hot chocolate. You used to love hot chocolate." I scrape at what may be my last chance to talk to my youngest daughter.
"Why not? I guess I have nothing left to lose" Quinn says, her cold glare falling on me. And as if it's that simple, we abandon our carts in the middle of the aisle and heads towards the exit.
As we sit down holding our steaming drinks, I am the one to break the silence.
"So, how is that one boy, Finn?"
"I'm not with Finn anymore" Quinn says, not elaborating at all.
"Oh, that's surprising, I thought you really liked him" I say, clueless to all that has happened since Quinn "left", as Russell and I put it.
"I did. A lot" Quinn says, still ashamed of herself, though I do not know this.
"Quinn... Is there something you really want to say to me? I promise I'll listen this time." I say, bracing myself. Convincing myself that I can take whatever my daughter accuses me of.
"Yes mom, there is." Quinn says, loudly for the first time.
"I'm listening sweetie. From now on, I'm here to listen" I say and stare back into my daughters hazel eyes. They've changed, I notice. Instead of being full of pride and cheerfulness, they now reflected sadness and fear. That wasn't the only transformation that I noticed. Her once-perfect blonde hair had been swept into a messy bun, anchored by a few stray clips. Dark circles had made their way over her perfect face, making her appear tired, and haunted. Her baby bump was clearly visible now, though she was doing her best to try to cover it up. I looked once again into Quinn's eyes. Those scared me the most. Before these physical imperfections occurred, Quinn could have been the spitting image of me. People used to make jokes, "are you two sisters?" and things such as that, but nobody talked about Quinn anymore. Not even at church, where Russell had paid the pastor never to mention her, or her "situation."
Quinn's voice brought me back to reality.
"Well first of all, Finn isn't the father. Puck is. He is, or was, Finn's best friend. Second, I'm currently living out of my car, since Finn kicked me out of his house too, after he learned that the baby wasn't his. Third, I never quit the Cheerios. Ms. Sylvester kicked me off the squad when she found out that I was pregnant. Fourth, I really like being in Glee Club. I'm accepted for who I am there, not who I appear to be. And finally, fifth, I really really resent you and dad and what you did to me."
I just sit there dumbfounded at Quinn's sudden outburst and it takes me a moment to find the right words to say.
"Quinny... I am so sorry. But your father... You know how he is... What he says is law."
"That's no excuse!" Quinn stares back at me and her voice cracks as she says: "You knew, and I needed you! I needed my mom." Those very words take me back to my nightmares. I've tried forgetting, and letting go, but I can't. I don't know if I ever will.
"I was your daughter, and you abandoned me" Quinn choked out. "How could you do that to me?" Tears began spilling down her cheeks.
I want to reach out and hold her, but I just looked down at my feet, tears forming in my own eyes.
"Mom!" Quinn yelled, not caring if the entire coffee shop heard. "Answer me! How could you just sit there and let him kick me out?"
There were so many things I want to say to her, but I just can't. I want to tell her how much I love her, and that I never meant for any of this to happen. That if I could, I would let her come back and live with us today. I want to say that it was never up to me. I want to let my daughter know that it wasn't my fault. But instead, I just watch as Quinn stands up, and pushes in her chair. She smoothes out her dress, her hand lingering on her swollen stomach.
"Thanks for the hot chocolate" Quinn says, as she turns and walks out of my life for the final time.
*And thus concludes my first Glee fanfic! (: Quinn is my favorite character, so you can expect to see a lot more of her!*
*Edit (4.23.10): I can't seem to get any of the right emotions for a prolog. Pray I'll get inspiration!*
Reviews would be amazing! :D