Made of Paper: the Love is a Battlefield remix, a degrassi fanfic

Title: Made of Paper (the Love Is A Battlefield remix)

Rating: PG-13 / R

Summary: The end done right.

Spoilers: Anything through Love Is A Battlefield is fair game.

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi (and I certainly wouldn't lay claim to the atrocious dialogue from LIAB regurgitated herein).

Author's Note: I wanted to redeem Paige and give Alex a nicer sendoff than she received on the show, and get a little closure for myself in the process. I'm not necessarily changing anything, but just expanding on what we were given - it could've worked as an arc over six episodes, not the 16 minutes that was devoted to it. This picks up right at the end of Don't You Want Me part 2.

Author's Note 2: As an afterthought, this was a real bitch to write, so I can see why the Degrassi writers were such lazy asses and went with the 16 minute route.

Paige stifles a giggle as she walks in, Alex hot on her trail; when the door closes a little too loudly, Paige frantically shushes her.

"Marco and Ellie are sleeping."

"You're the one talking," Alex smirks; Paige rolls her eyes and her snappy retort is silenced by Alex's mouth. Alex's hands skim over Paige's dress, following the line of her curves, before finding the zipper.

"Alex," Paige protests when she feels the cool air hitting her back, squirming until Alex lets go of her, "not here."

"Fine," Alex says, grabbing both of Paige's hands and pulling her further inside, "then let's go to your room."

With the door closed behind them, Paige lets Alex unzip her dress; she pushes it off her shoulders and it drops to the floor. It only takes a few seconds for Alex's red dress to join the pile. Paige backs Alex towards the bed and they fall onto it, Paige straddling Alex's hips, and kiss hungrily.

Alex's hands travel up her back, unhooking her bra, and Paige tosses it aside for her; her lips trail wetly along Alex's jaw, down her neck, as her hand slides down Alex's chest, not stopping until her fingers reach the edge of Alex's underwear.

"Paige..." Alex nudges Paige back, breathing heavily. "We don't have to do anything. I mean, we can just fool around like we normally do."

"Alex, I'm ready," Paige tells her; then her brow furrows and she chuckles softly, "you're not usually the one who stops things."

"I don't want you to rush into anything because you feel sorry for me or something," Alex responds; she's looking past Paige, focusing on the ceiling instead, until she feels a hand on her chin.

"Look at me, Alex," Paige prompts. "This isn't pity."

"Then what is it?" Alex asks. "Why now, Paige?"

"Because I love you, too," Paige says, then backtracks unsurely. "I mean, if what you said even still applies." Alex lets out a breathless laugh, cupping Paige's face and drawing her close.

"It always has, Paige."

"Don't you think it's time you unpacked?" Paige asks and Alex looks up from her book, completely baffled.

"Paige, unpack what? It's just the one bag."

"Hon," Paige sighs dramatically, sitting on the edge of the bed, "it's symbolic. We live together," she smiles, reaching to squeeze Alex's leg; then she adds, "Or we will be once you stop living out of your duffel."

"It's been three days. And this is only temporary anyway," Alex says and it's clearly not the response Paige is waiting for because she just stares at her expectantly. "Last time I checked," Alex changes her approach, smirking playfully, "your closet was overflowing with crap."

"It's not anymore," Paige tells her excitedly. "I went through it when you were at class; I got rid of two bags of junk."

"Aww, Paigey, you made room for me in your closet?" Alex grins and Paige shakes her head before leaning in to plant a kiss on Alex's lips.

"In my life."

"Mom, hey," Alex says softly; the phone's pressed to her ear and she's sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of lukewarm coffee after everyone's left for the day. "How are you?"

"Fine, Lexi." There's a short gap of silence and then Emily tells her, "it's about time you called."

"Sorry," Alex apologizes lamely. "I just needed some time; finals and all." There's more silence as she draws in a slow breath. "I'm staying with Paige."

"Ah," Emily chuckles softly. "Send her my love, will you, Lexi?"

"Mom," Alex's voice raises a little to catch her attention. "Mom, it's nice here, but it's not home."

"You're the one who left," Emily reminds her. "And, anyway, it's for the best."

"How is this for the best?" Alex asks, struggling to keep her temper in check.

"Your life is just starting," is Emily's answer. "You'll find a way to go to college, Lexi, I know it. And you have Paige."

"But not you?"

"You're an adult now, with your entire future ahead of you. Chad is all I have."

"Chad's a freeloading jerk," Alex protests harshly.

"He made a mistake," Emily tells her. "But he's fixing it."

"Fine," Alex says, even though it's anything but. "I'll call you later."

"We make quite a pair, don't we?" Alex smirks, wrapping Paige in a hug. "A homeless ex-stripper and a soon-to-be out-of-work college dropout."

"It's not funny, Alex," Paige moans disapprovingly, turning to bury her face in the crook of Alex's neck. "I don't know what I'm going to do."

"What we've been doing," Alex suggests. "I sneak into your room after everyone else has gone to bed, we have sex all night, and act innocent in the morning."

Paige pulls back so she can meet Alex's eyes and clarifies dryly, "with my life."

"Oh. That."

"Yeah, that," Paige mocks and Alex lifts her head, kissing Paige in silent apology.

"Paige, you can do anything you want," Alex tells her. "Just be sure it really makes you happy."

"What's this?" Paige asks, looking down at the folded up newspaper Alex has just dropped in her lap.

"I saw something you might like," Alex tells her. "I circled it for you." She watches as Paige's eyes scan over the paper, seeking out hastily drawn red circle.

"What is this?" Paige looks up at her, brows furrowed.

"It's an idea for the future." Alex climbs onto the bed, settling down next to Paige. "It probably more grunt-work than glamour, but it's right up your alley. It's a start."

"This is tres brilliant," Paige grins broadly, turning her body into Alex's. "You are amazing, Miss Nunez."

"I know," Alex agrees proudly and then sighs. "Now if I could only pass my Bio final."

"Hon," Paige squeezes her hand, "with the way you've been hitting the books, you'll ace it."

"I hope so."

"What do you say," Paige begins playfully, lifting Alex's hand and pressing it against her breast encouragingly, "we get in a little extra studying now?"

"How'd you do?" Paige asks, practically leaping on Alex.

"All A's," a smile spreads across Alex's face.

"Hon, that is fantastic." Paige pulls her into a hug, squeezing her enthusiastically. "This calls for a celebration."

"Paige," Alex sighs, "I'm not in the mood for a party."

"Who said anything about party?" Paige shrugs. "I'm talking about you and me, celebrating your super-impressive GPA and me landing a job interview for, oh, next Monday."

"That's great, Paigey," Alex pulls her into a hug and spins her around.

"Hold on, hon," Paige laughs, "I didn't get it yet."

"Yet," Alex says, angling back to look at her. "We all know you get whatever it is you want."

There's a knock on the door, followed by an obnoxious series of knocks that don't stop until Alex swings the door open, scowling.

"What are you doing here, Jay?"

"What?" Jay shrugs innocently. "I can't pay a visit on my oldest and dearest friend?" Alex rolls her eyes and heads over to the couch, leaving Jay to invite himself inside. "What's going on, Lexi?" Jay asks, suddenly serious. "Have you been crying?"

"No," Alex snaps even though it's been obvious she has.

"So, what, domestic bliss isn't all it's cracked up to be?"

"I don't know what it is, Jay," Alex sighs. "I should be happy, right? Paige is great."

"Sure, Paige is great," Jay agrees gently, sitting down next to her, "but she's not your mom, this isn't your home." He reaches out and rubs Alex's back soothingly. "As messed up as both of those things were sometimes, you still miss them. It's okay to be bummed out."

"Yeah, I guess," Alex nods; she turns to Jay and smiles weakly. "Thanks."

"Anytime, Lexi. So," he continues, brow raised curiously, "how come I'm so perceptive after spending five seconds with you, and your little girlfriend hasn't noticed in the two weeks you've been playing house?"

"It's not her fault, Jay," Alex tells him. "I'm already living here for free. She gets enough shit about it from Marco, I don't want to be any more of a bother."

"Well, if you ever need a pick me up," Jay says, bringing his lips to his mouth to take a drag off an imaginary cigarette, "you know where to find me."

"Morning, sleeping cutie," Paige grins at the sight of Alex sitting up in the mirror's reflection.

"If you really loved me," Alex feigns annoyance, "you wouldn't hurt my ears this early." That does the trick and Paige puts the hairdryer down, giving her hair a final toss before bracing herself for the day ahead.

"Gotta drop the store key with Jimmy; hit the bank, groceries, and a job interview. Tres multitask." Alex holds the sheet around her chest, feeling a little lost, and asks softly:

"So what am I gonna do all day?" Paige walks towards her and smiles sympathetically.

"How about you recharge after the last two weeks?" She sits on the edge of the bed. "Your final Degrassi semester got you those crazy-great grades you were after."

"Yet not even straight As could get my mom to ditch Chad, the freeloading con-man," Alex sighs and flops back down onto the bed. "So much for moving back home."

"Hon, I know it's hard," Paige tells her, standing back up again, "but you can stay here until you get back on your feet." She plants a soft kiss on Alex's forehead and Alex watches her go.

"Bye."

"I'll need to be able to reach you at all times," Andrea says as Paige trails after her obediently. "The last girl got fired because the phone went straight to voicemail and I just don't have the time." She turns and looks Paige up and down before adding, "I've fired girls for much less."

"I pick up after the second ring," Paige tells her dutifully.

"Here's a list of all the shops I'll need you to stop at," Andrea says, handing Paige a neat printout. "The designers are expecting you to pick up their clothes for the show by five. These need to be dropped off at the printer's," she continues, handing Paige a beige folder. "I like my cappuccinos bone dry. And I want one here in 15 minutes."

"Bone dry," Paige murmurs to herself, jotting it into her notes, then looks up at Andrea. "Got it."

"And why don't you get yourself one?" Andrea suggests, her eyes once again trailing down Paige's body. "Maybe something non-fat."

"Right." Paige fakes a smile, silently reminding herself that the insults would be a small price to pay for the opportunity Andrea was offering her.

"Guess who is officially a working girl?" Paige drops a bag of groceries on the table, smiling widely at Alex.

"You got it?"

"I did," Paige nods. "Quelle surprise, right?"

"Right," Alex agrees, making her way over to Paige; she leans in for a kiss, but Paige turns her head, offering Alex her cheek instead.

"We're interviewing new roommates in fifteen, hon."

"Alex," Paige sighs, "please stop pouting, you know it's only be - no, no, no," Paige stands up in a panic, "oh, come on! I'm so stupid!" Concern and curiosity getting the better of her, Alex rushes over to Paige.

"What's the matter?"

"My license expired and I thought I could renew it online, but..." she breaks off, letting out a rough exhale. "Alex, half of this job is driving."

"72 hour wait," Alex reads off the web page.

"I have to be there now." Paige's tone is dangerously close to whining and Alex grabs her shoulders, forcing eye contact; she's learned how recognize the signs of a pending panic attack and offers a simple solution.

"You have a car, I have a license."

"You would do that?" Paige asks, a little too surprised by the idea.

"Well," Alex starts with a grin, "it might eat into my couch time, but it'd be fun to hang out for a change."

"Thank you, thank you, thank you," Paige throws her arms around her. "The entire fashion industry owes you huge." She grabs her keys, dangling them in front of Alex, and asks eagerly, "ready to hit the road?"

Alex lets out a bored sigh. Her head lolls back against the headrest as her arm dangles lazily outside the window. Two hours ago, she was anxious at the prospect of spending an afternoon alone with Paige; now, five tedious stops later, she'd rather be high.

She jumps slightly at the feel of her phone vibrating in her pocket and pulls it out; the screen reads 'Jay' and she doesn't think she's ever been so glad to hear from him.

"Hey, Jay."

"Lexi," Jay says in that teasing way of his, "there's a party tonight. You in? You can even bring that girlfriend of yours; double with me and Mel."

"I can't, Jay," Alex says even though it's tempting.

"Come on, Lexi, it'll do you good."

"I can't," Alex insists, "I'm waiting for Paige to finish work, she needs a ride."

"Chauffeuring little Miss Michaelchuck around?" Jay smirks. "How sweet."

"It's for her job, jackass," Alex says, unable to keep from laughing. "Here she is," she sobers quickly. "I'll talk to you later." She gets out of the car and hurries over to Paige, who's carrying a mound of clothes in plastic covers.

"I have so much to do tonight," Paige says, dumping most of the clothes on Alex. "I need to call the florist and confirm with the caterers. Be sure to hang all that up."

"Hello to you, too," Alex says dryly.

"Hey, hon," Paige says with a distracted smile, acknowledging her for the first time. "Be careful with that," she says a little too sternly, watching Alex load everything into the back of her van, "it's worth thousands."

"This stuff?" Alex eyes the bags, unimpressed.

"Hon, it's couture," Paige says like it should mean something to Alex.

"The closest I've ever come to couture is leafing through your Vogue magazine out of boredom," Alex comments with a smirk.

"Hon, I will be done at the office at four tomorrow," Paige smiles smugly, examining one of the fancy dresses for the show, "but if I'm not outside, you can just wait for me, okay?"

"Sure," Alex says, obviously put in her place. "Getting used to that."

Alex is propped up in bed reading when Paige finally walks in the bedroom, looking exhausted. She pulls off her sweater and then kicks off her shoes; that's all she can muster the steam for, because she collapses on top of the bed, burying her face into the soft blanket.

"Paige?" Alex calls out softly; Paige's response is an intelligible groan. Alex chuckles and puts her book down, turning towards Paige; she straddles her, sitting on the back of Paige's thighs. "Sore?" she asks, already starting to rub Paige's shoulders.

"Mmm," Paige murmurs appreciatively, "that feels nice." Alex leans forward, planting soft kisses on Paige's back; her hands smoothly squeeze under Paige's body, cupping her breasts against the mattress. "Alex…" Paige sighs. "Not tonight."

"Of course not," Alex sighs back, flopping down on her side of the bed.

"Ignore it," Alex says against Paige's mouth. "Ignore it," she says again, hand snaking up Paige's skirt.

"I have to get it," Paige says, blindly reaching for her cell on the bedside table. "It could be - " she breaks off to let out a whimper as Alex's hand cups her, " - important. Now, stop," she says firmly and hits the call button. "Hi, Andrea," she breathes as Alex hovers over her impatiently. "No, absolutely, I can be there right away."

"Paige…" Alex sighs when Paige hangs up and looks at her apologetically.

"I have to go, Alex."

"Ten more minutes," Alex says with a charming smile. "Five, even, I'll be quick."

"I have to go," Paige echoes, pushing Alex off her. She stands, buttoning her shirt and tucks it smoothly back into her skirt.

"You just got home," Alex says, frustrated; she runs a hand through her hair, smoothing it back. "What mindless task does Andrea have you doing now?"

"I need to pick up the programs at the printer's," Paige tells her; she holds out her keys and taps her foot impatiently, waiting for Alex to get up. "Well?"

"I have to go get her," Alex tells Jay with a laugh; she reaches over and crushes the end of her cigarette into the ashtray.

"First Mel leaves me, now you?" Jay turns on the dramatics. "My heart is cracked open and leaking love-juice all over the place."

"Ugh," Alex scrunches her face up at the imagery and stands. "Well, your heart will heal." She wobbles unsteadily and starts laughing, "And I can't drive; I'm too stoned." Jay cracks up at that and Alex sighs, realizing she screwed up, "no, what am I gonna tell Paige?"

"That I'm a mess," Jay suggests; "that…that - that you're being a good friend. She'll get it."

"No," Alex shakes her head gravely, "she'll have a fit, actually." She looks at the dresses hanging up, and gestures resentfully. "There are the only things she cares about." She unzips a garment bag, pulling out a blue dress, and examines it closer.

"Whoa," Jay's face falls, "Mel would look so hot in that."

"And that's why I keep you around," Alex says suddenly, smiling, "for your brilliant ideas."

"Take off the dress and…" Paige feels her breath start to get panicky, "and then get out of my room." Alex bends over to pick up her robe, holding it to her chest, and with as much dignity as she can muster, she leaves.

She changes in the bathroom, alternately feeling guilty and unnerved, and splashes water on her face and she's starting to regret getting high with Jay because she can't quite focus on her reflection. Carefully holding the dress, she seeks out Paige; finds her in the kitchen putting on a pot of coffee.

"Here, Paige," she says and Paige takes the dress from her, making it a point not to really look at her. She leaves the kitchen, heading for her room, and Alex trails after her. "Paige," she sighs, "I really was just trying to surprise you."

"Really?" Paige snaps, hanging the dress up. "'Cause it looked more like sabotage to me."

"I wouldn't do that, Paige," Alex tells her. "You know me."

"I know you're high," Paige shoots back, "and that was more important to you today than me."

"I just needed a break from reality." Alex's voice is strained, holding back the emotion she's been desperately trying to keep out of it.

"What, a break from all the TV watching and moping around and sleeping?" Paige asks cruelly. "Because that sounds so exhausting."

"Forget it, Paige," Alex says because she suddenly can't think of anything else; the bridge is so tentative between them lately and Alex sometimes wonders if she can reach out and crumple the bond between them like paper. "I'm going to bed."

"Do whatever you want," Paige says coolly.

"Alex, what is wrong with you?" Paige narrows her gaze. "You didn't deliver the reminders, did you?"

"No," Alex says, even though she tried, even though she got through most of them; it's just easier to fight than admit to screwing up yet another thing. "'Cause I saw the invoice. $3000 for chocolate? That's three month's rent where I come from."

"And if I hadn't spent the last hour frantically calling people about the show, I'd have lost my job."

"This isn't happiness," Alex tells her. "This is a lame temp gig that has you acting like a diva."

"Who asked you to judge what is okay for this company or me? I am trying to start a career I actually care about."

"You actually care about this artificial crap?" Alex grits angrily. "Paige, you wrap presents and iron dresses like a maid. Sorry if I have principles." That strikes a chord and Paige lets out an irate exhale.

"You know what?" she spits out without thinking. "You were better off as a stripper." She sees the damage her words cause instantly, but it's too late; they've both gone too far to go back now. "It is all great to climb up on your high horse, but at least that girl was working for something."

Paige starts to walk around Alex, but Alex grabs her arm and refuses to let her past; Paige feels anger well up inside her, feels her cheeks reddening with rage and frustration, and her last words drip with disgust.

"Alex. I'm done."

"Paige," Alex says into her phone; unsurprisingly, Paige's phone has gone straight to voicemail all three times she's called. "I get that we're not talking, but I just wanted to let you know that I'm crashing at Jay's for the night; figured we both could use the space." She sighs and looks up at the ceiling of the car.

"I'll drop your car off in the morning and then we can talk or…not talk. It's up to you. If you're really done, then I'll - I'll accept that. I will. You know," she continues with a mirthless chuckle, "I'm kinda surprised we lasted this long, anyway. All we seem to do lately is hurt each other."

"I think everything's in there," Paige says, unable to meet Alex's eyes. She waits until she hears Alex's keys clatter on the table before finally looking up; Alex was keeping her word. "Where you gonna go?"

"My mom has a cousin in Ajax," Alex tells her stiffly. "I'll find a job. I've got options." The last part is meant to needle Paige, because it's the one thing she never really believed.

"Look," Paige stands and approaches her. "I'm sorry. I thought it would be good for you here."

"Yeah. But I was still alone," Alex sighs. "Lost you to a fantasy world."

"This is the right thing to do." Paige says it like Alex isn't the only one she's trying to convince. "But it still hurts." Alex smiles through the pain, forcing back tears, and grabs Paige's hand one last time.

"You make it sound like cough syrup." She has to joke because anything else sounds too forced, too trite; anything else and she wouldn't be able to walk away.

Weeks later, Paige is out on yet another coffee run when she runs into Jay. She's never liked him and least can stop pretending; he's never liked her and never let her forget it. He stands in her way and instead of asking him to move, she snaps:

"Shouldn't you be off somewhere getting high?

"Still getting coffee," Jay shoots back, looking at the tray of cups in her hand. "Nice to see all that ruthless ambition is paying off."

"Get out of my way," Paige rolls her eyes; she pushes past him and makes it to the curb before she hears footsteps running after her.

"You ever wonder why Alex started smoking again?" Jay asks harshly and Paige turns to look at him; yes, she wondered, but she never bothered to ask when it mattered. "Her home life was shit, her girlfriend acted like she was a burden; she was fucked up, Paige, and not from the drugs."

"What do you want from me, Jay?" Paige exhales roughly and she's surprised when Jay doesn't have a quip for her; surprised further when his trademark smirk is replaced with a frown.

"I want you to be sorry."

Paige can't bring herself to tell him that she is.

Months later, when Paige is working her way through a series of meaningless relationships and Alex barely stops working long enough to realize she's still alone, they'll run into each other. They'll exchange pleasantries, trying not to think about how awkward things are, and exchange phone numbers even though they won't call each other.

Years later, at their high school reunion, they'll meet outside in the laneway, where it all started; where - despite their dates waiting inside and perhaps despite their better judgment - it starts all over again.

fin