A/N: Angstangstangst.
Rating: K+ (Everything I've done so far is K+.)
Summary: No. You don't deserve one.
"Jelly Beans"
She'd done it. She'd put herself out there and now this. She had been so sure.
She could feel her body burn, though it was probably ten degrees outside. Whether she was warm from embarrassment of passion, she didn't know. Her lips still buzzed from where they had met his. Her hands felt numb from where they had ran through his hair.
"Pam..."
Pamela didn't move. She couldn't. She couldn't look into his face and see his eyes. Those big brown eyes that made her heart melt... She felt her ears turn even warmer than before.
"I... I had no idea. I thought things were okay between us..."
They had been before she ruined it. She had thought... God, what had she thought? Nothing, probably. She had let herself become to comfortable, too 'spur-of-the-moment'. Well, look what happened.
"I'm so sorry."
Pam nodded silently as he apologized for not feeling the same way. Like he could control it. It wasn't his fault. It was hers. It was all her fault.
"I wish...God Pam, I wish I still could feel the same. I did. Two years ago. I just..."
He had moved on. Why hadn't she? Did she think that he had broken up with his girlfriend for her? No, never. Why would he? It occurred to Pam suddenly that he probably had someone waiting for him right now. He would go to bed with a warm body next to him, while Pam would fall asleep watching a rerun of "Friends".
Pam finally noticed the silence and looked up. He was still standing there awkwardly, no doubt wanting to climb into his Toyota and speed away. She tried her best to smile, ease his pain. He shouldn't suffer. It was her fault.
He seemed to relax a tiny bit at her fake smile, but he still didn't move. Only his right hand clenched and unclenched.
"Well, uh, I have to go..."
Pam nodded quickly, her eyes falling back to her snow-covered boots. She heard the snow crunch as he walked to his car. She heard the door open and the ignition start, but didn't hear him backing out.
She realized that he was probably waiting for her to do something. Anything. An extremely random thought popped into Pam's head: He was wasting gas.
Not wanting to pollute the environment, Pam walked back into the building. She faintly hear him drive away. When she was certain he was gone, Pam collapsed on a nearby chair and began to sob.
Why was she so stupid?! What was she thinking?! That he loved her? Liked her? Had any romantic feelings at all towards her? Just because she was stuck in the past didn't mean he was. Why had she kissed him?!
Pam wasn't sue how long she'd been crying. She only knew she'd been crying long enough for her throat to feel like it was filled with sand and her mascara to run all the way to her chin.
Pam grabbed a tissue from her pocket and did her best to get rid of he mascara. When the tissue was almost completely black, she stood up and walked to the elevator.
Twenty-four seconds later, she was on the third floor. With a deep breath, she opened the door to Dunder Mifflin Scranton and sat at her desk, happy no one else was there.
Ten minutes later, she placed her resignation letter on Michael's desk and walked out.
She looked around slowly, saying goodbye to the place. She had already packed everything.
Well, almost everything.
Gently, almost too gently, Pam placed her jar of jelly beans on Jim's desk.
