Disclaimer: I do not own Hunger Games and anything from the novels is attributed to its author.
It starts off with the 72nd Annual Hunger Games when all the characters are younger than when they were first initially introduced in the books. So bear with me as this story evolves, since the writing will reflect the accurate age level and understanding they would have at the time.
Sorry about the long wait in updates. I wasn't satisfied in the direction this story was going and have decided to rewrite it a bit. I am going through each chapter and thoroughly editing and fixing little problems and mistakes. So do reread the chapters, things won't exactly be the same this time around.
Chapter 1
The Reaping
"Katniss Everdeen."
The woman's voice echoes in the square, reverberating off the walls of the stone buildings. My mother's answering cry upon hearing my sister's name, chills me to the bone. Her heart wrenching, desperate cry of loss seeps deep into the recesses of my mind, solidifying itself within my memories. The sound will haunt my dreams tonight, playing in perfectly with the horrific theme of my nightly terrors. A sound that I haven't heard since the day my father died, all those years ago.
Anger arises within me, as my mother collapses into the arms of Primrose. My precious little sister, too young to take on the role that rightfully belongs to the woman we call mother; comforts her as best she can. For the last several years, this woman has made the choice to abandon us to the realities of life. Last summer she chose to return from her latest spell, assuming she can resume her old role without missing a beat. Prim understands the volatile relationship I have with our mother, baring witness in the past to our many spats and fights. To my sisters, my anger at her pathetic display might appear justified. Would this reaping send her spiraling back into her next spell if the games didn't? I dread the answer to that question.
Clenching my fists in an effort to relieve some of my anger, my eyes lock on Katniss. Her jaw is tight, the muscles fighting to hide her shock at hearing her name called for the female tribute. My anger gives way to sorrow, realizing my personal feelings towards mother mean nothing, in the weight of the situation. Neither of us thought they would call her name, especially after the precautions we put in place. We chose to limit the number of slips in the reaping bowl, each of us taking the bare minimum to support our family. Her name is entered nine times, while I have six slips in the bowl. We are naive to believe we can cheat fate.
Katniss is walking through the square now, passing the roped off sections sorted by age. Pushing back my tears, I run to the edge of my section, nearly knocking over a classmate in my path. Being kind to others is not a high priority of mine ,when my sister is walking to her executioner. I reach the rope panting just as my sister passes, a grim but determined look in her eyes. I can't let her do it. I reach out for her, calling her name desperately. "Katniss! Katniss!"
Her eyes lock with mine for a minute before she continues on. The slight frown she casts my way, reminds me I did exactly what she didn't want me to do. I am acting on my suicidal thoughts, not thinking my decision through. Giving my life up. I suddenly collapse in my section upon this realization, knowing she won't let me do it. She won't let me throw away my life for her, when she can protect me instead. Tears run down my cheeks, the blood draining from my face at the fearsome sight my sister makes. I can clearly see the fear in her eyes, her bottom lip trembling as she holds back the tears. The message she wants me to get is clear. Take care of our family. Don't do anything stupid. Live.
The flanking Peacekeeper gives me a vicious glare, not liking how I interrupted the reaping. I resist the urge to scream at him as he walks past me. How can he be so uncaring towards my feelings? He doesn't have to watch his sister give up everything for the simple reason to protect me, even though my death would make everyone's lives easier. I stay where I am, watching my sister ascend the steps slowly through my tears. The capitol woman gives Katniss a vibrant smile, making me hate her. How can she be happy about ripping my sister away from us? I despairingly believe it should have been me.
I turn my head away, my glassy eyes catching Gale's in the boy's section. He gives me an unsteady smile, making me understand this is hard for him to see. A regretful smile crosses my lips, realizing how little I know about him. Although my interactions with him up to this point are limited, Gale has become a constant fixture in our lives. Would he still be around if Katniss never returns from the capitol? I clench my fists, my whole body shaking in brewing anger at the injustice of it all.
"I give you, Katniss Everdeen." Her peppy voice echoes the square again, gaining a few claps from the older residents.
A growl escapes my lips, scaring the unsuspecting girl standing next to me. Let her be scared. I am not in the right mind to coddle anyone now. Not when I should be the one throwing my life away to protect Katniss. Why won't she let me protect her? I turn back to look at my sister, hating how she has to put on a brave front for the masses. The capitol woman pushes her to the side, making her stand next to one of the peacekeepers. It is the one that had reprimanded me with his glare. I hate the capitol woman, Effie Trinket, even more.
"And now for the boy's side."
I climb unsteadily to my feet and watch Effie Trinket walk across the stage towards another bowl, her pink hair making me nauseous. She dips her hand in and grabs a slip, making me hold my breath in fear. It would kill me if she called Gale too, our last link to Katniss. Her colorful outfit reminds me of a peacock, an ill-fitting combination with her pink hair. I watch her walk to the center of the stage, standing behind the microphone. She reads the name, smiling as it escapes from her lips. I cross my fingers and hold my breath, my heart racing from the anxiety of it all.
"Rome Cornar."
The breath I am holding escapes me, the dread of hearing Gale's name slowly ebbs. I watch a red-haired boy walk towards the stage, fear clearly seen on his face. Sorrow floods through me as he walks past my section. I feel sorry for him, knowing it must be hard to be singled out like that. I don't recognize him from my class, making him twelve. I tremble in fear, not able to get over the fact I am only a year older than him. That I should be up there with him instead of Katniss.
Rome reaches the stage, where Effie ushers him forward. Katniss is called over to meet her fellow tribute, much to her displeasure I can tell. Effie makes them shake hands, much to my disgust. Katniss has always done everything she can to protect us. Her denying me the right to volunteer proving this. I watch as they greet each other, biting my lip in apprehension. Why would now be any different?
"I give you your tributes for the 72nd Annual Hunger Games!"
The crowd slowly claps, making me glare viciously at the capitol woman. This is all Effie Trinket's fault. I force myself to look away, not able to take this circus anymore. Before anyone can stop me, I step under the rope and run towards my family. My mother is still collapsed in Prim's arms crying. My gaze settles on Prim as I slow to a stop. Her red rimmed eyes haunt me, making me wish I had fought harder to take our sister's place. Prim should never have had to experience this. It should have been me. I am the unwanted sister in our mother's eyes. She has made that abundantly clear all my life.
I kneel, pulling Prim forcibly into my arms and away from my mother. Mother doesn't need me now. Prim does. I hear her choked cries muffled by my blouse, making it hard for me not to join her, my tears threatening to spill again. I cradle her gently in my arms, protecting her from the crowd's stares, with my shaking form. Although I usually am the one needing comfort, I try my best to comfort Prim through my fear. I kiss her hair affectionately, knowing this is destroying my little sister. Damn Katniss for being so noble.
I catch sight of my mother still collapsed where I left her. Mother's tear stricken face meets mine, her whole body shaking with her sobs. I tighten my grip on Prim, which only increases the sound of her choked sobs. Why is she just sitting there? Can't she see we need her? Can't she tell Prim needs her desperately, right now?
"Nightlock…" Her trembling whisper reaches my ears, making my eyes narrow in anger. Don't tell me I am the strong one, that she is giving up. I study her, realizing that is exactly what she is doing. She is falling back into the only role she knows, the irresponsible mother. I see red as she looks desolately at me. Throughout my entire childhood, it has been father and Katniss who raised me, loved me, cared for me. You would think her unkindness at giving me my name would be the end of her spite towards me. I guess old habits die-hard when you blame your own child for the hardships of your family. This woman has never done anything for me my entire life, and the one time Prim needs her, she abandons us.
I open my mouth to yell at her, choosing to fight back for once. A hand on my shoulder stops me before I can let her know how disgusted I am with her. I turn, catching grey eyes studying my own teary grey. It's Gale. I smile hesitantly up at him, knowing he is barely holding it together as well. Gale doesn't know the little family secret. He doesn't know the events that lead to my birth and my mother's growing hatred towards me. A hatred that has only grown over the last several years, with my own reckless actions. What a sight Prim and I must make, the children the strong ones, while the parent needs the coddling.
"Come on, Goldilocks. Katniss is waiting for us."
It is then that I remember they allow us to say goodbye before she leaves. Goodbye to my older sister who provides for us, who protects us, who will die for us. I begin to tremble again, sorrow threatening to overcome my weak control. I am the unpredictable one, the little bitter family secret who only ever thinks of herself. How does Katniss expect me to fill her shoes when I can barely fill my own? Strong arms grip me and steady me as I stand, Prim still clutched to my side.
The next few moments are a blur of people and words, Prim still wrapped in my arms. The fog begins to lift when Prim struggles in my arms. I release her quickly, watching as she runs into the waiting arms of our sister, Katniss. Jealousy floods me as I watch the two of them embrace. I would give anything to have the kind of relationship those two have. Katniss and I will never be as close. My vision swims with unshed tears as I fight down the jealousy that threatens to consume me. Why do I always feel like the outsider looking in?
I struggle to stay standing, Gale catching me as I trip in my desperation to reach my sisters. Overwhelming fear begins to take hold of me, my entire body shaking with the reality that I must face. Katniss is leaving us, heading towards the capitol as part of the Hunger Games. How will our family survive? Will I be able to protect Prim? This is just too much. Tears start to fall as I watch Prim sob in Kat's arms. "Kit-Kat…" My words sound gargled, almost indistinguishable to my own ears.
Katniss looks at me, a sad expression on her face. "Nightlock…" She whispers, reaching out towards me. This is the last straw. I run into her arms full force, the tears flowing with no end in sight. I grip her yellow dress tightly in my hands, wrapping one of my arms around the still sobbing Prim. She can't leave us. I need her. Prim needs her.
"Please don't go, Katniss." I murmur, burying my head in the dress that I am ruining with my tears. How can our family survive without her holding us together? I am barely 13, not a child or an adult either. I don't know how to be the responsible one. A choking sob escapes me as I cling to my sister. To be in charge of protecting Prim seems like an impossible task when I can barely protect myself from our mother.
"I have to, Lock. If I had a choice, I would stay." She exclaims calmly, gripping my arms and pushing me away from her. I look up into her determined eyes through glassy tears, knowing whatever she has to say to me is important. "Take care of them, Nightlock. Don't let mother abandon her again. You have to keep it together. I need you strong for them. For Prim." Kit-Kat states, looking sternly as me as I nod my head slowly, not having the strength to comment. I have no argument for her words. "You can't let your emotions rule you. Suppress them, be the strong sister that Prim needs. Don't let mother get to you." Easier to say then do. Mother always has a talent for putting me down I think bitterly.
Katniss pulls me back into a hug, burying her face in my hair, mumbling, "Don't you dare let them starve, Lock. Gale will teach you." I nod again in response, unable to form any words. The idea that she wants me to fight back against mother weighs heavily on me. I am always trying to stay in the shadows, not rile her up with my antics. I shake as I realize that taking over Katniss's role as the provider and protector is doing the exact opposite. Will I be able to pull it off? Sorrow has my throat constricted as I hear the doors open and the peacekeepers' voices telling us it is time to leave.
I let go of my sister, reaching for Prim as I feel my mother grab me roughly from behind. Prim is screaming at this point, trying desperately to stay attached to Katniss. I swallow a sob, knowing I have to become the sister Prim needs. I have to step out of the shadows and into the limelight. Mother's nails dig into my skin, reminding me that our relationship is about to change drastically. I grip Prim's arm and pull her hard before the peacekeepers reach her. I hear Katniss's last words as they usher us out the doors, Prim clutched tightly in my arms as my heart beats frantically.
"I promise, Prim. I will win."
Updated 6/30/13
