"I heard she was hella loose." "Isn't she Riley's girl?" "Riley better not be fucking with her." "He wouldn't fuck with that hoe." "I saw her talking to Kyrie last night." "Riley's best friend?" "Yeah, and she was smiling and laughing and shit and she hugged him."
I take a deep breath, closing my eyes and running a hand through my black hair. I grab some of my teal dyed tips, opening my eyes to study them. I needed to cut them soon. Then probably let the hair dye fade out.
"Ray!" I hear. I turn to face who called my name. It was either Kyrie or Riley, and if it was Riley, I swear… My eyes narrow and I clench my teeth before turning around and continuing on my way, picking up the pace slightly. It was his fault. This was his fault. I needed to get away from him.
"Did he call out to her?" "That rude ass hoe. Does she know who he is?" "Who doesn't?" "She could fuck around with all these niggas, including Kyrie, but not Riley! Wow." "Good. She probably got all types of shit." "Damn, does that mean Kyrie got something?" "He know better than that."
"Rayen, you ignoring me?" Riley asks, wrapping an arm around my shoulder and stopping me. How did he catch up to me? Damn his height and long legs.
"Let go of me!" I growl, pushing him off of me.
"Ray, what's wrong?" He asks, looking around. He meets eyes with those who were tentatively watching, hoping for more gossip and shit about me to spread. "The fuck y'all looking at?" And with that, the crowd disperses and I cross my arms.
"You. You are what's wrong." I say, answering his previous question. This was it. No more running back to him. I couldn't take anymore. But who was I kidding?
"What? What did I do?"
"Everything!" I hiss, ready to turn around and walk away. It was his fault I was getting talked about. Everything would have been fine if he would have just left me alone. Being with him was like being suicidal. I just couldn't take it anymore. I was getting fed up of it.
"What are you talking about Ray?" He asks, grabbing my arms.
"Let go of me." I say, pushing him away. "I want nothing to do with you."
He looks at me, shocked. Did I go too far? "So… you ain't coming to see me tonight?"
"I said I didn't want anything to do with you, Riley. So no."
"Can I ask why?"
"Because now that I'm talking to this school's beloved battle rapper slash basketball player in public, I'm seen as a big hoe! They think I'm fucking Kyrie! And I can't let that shit fly."
"Why do you care Ray? You told me you were stronger than that. That you were stronger than these hoes."
"I am. But…" My voice loses it's sharp edge and I feel insecure and small. "No girl wants to be called a hoe." I hated how vulnerable he made me. No matter how hard I tried, he would always be able to coax the soft side of me. And he knew and manipulated it.
"Rayen." He mutters, hesitant to touch me. I could see it in his eyes. In those wine colored eyes I adored. The same ones that watched me fall asleep and wake up.
"Don't touch me." I repeat, my voice a little broken now. He always broke me. He was good at it. He was the only one who could do that. He was the man I acknowledged as my soul mate. I was drawn to him.
I knew my protests wouldn't last. They held no power, no matter how stern and cold my voice got. I was born to be with him and live my life with him in it, him as mine and me as his. There was no doubt about it, even as I tried so hard to deny it. He knew it too, so he used it to his advantage. Even if it was unintentional, it still happened.
"Rayen, you know how these petty females get when they see someone prettier than them. They get spiteful and jealous." He pauses. "I don't mean for shit like this to happen. It's really… gross that they think you fucking Ky, but I know you can overcome this shit."
Manipulation at it's finest. He 'knows I'm strong enough' when in reality, he knows I'm afraid of losing him, deep deep down inside of me. I'm not strong. I just bottle shit inside to keep him beside me until I can't take it anymore and push him away. To keep his embrace and love and trust. To keep everything that makes him who he is to myself. I need that like I need food, water and air to breathe.
I was so dependent of him. I needed him to live. And I hated that aspect of us, of our relationship. So I'd avoid him, but end up seeking him out. I'd tell him to leave only to be the one who brings him back to me, even closer than before. I'd telling him he's ruining me only to tell him he makes me feel better, great, happy, loved. He made me a contradiction. I didn't know what I wanted. I wanted him, but I didn't.
I used to be so sure of myself. "Rayen." But hearing him say my name in the softest tone killed me so sweetly. He ruins me. He ruins me and makes me feel all types of good and bad things and it made me want to give up.
"What Riley."
"I'm sorry."
Fuck. It's that right there. He takes a step forward, wrapping his arms around me and kissing my forehead. "You know I love you, right?"
"Mmhmm." I hum, wrapping my arms around his torso. He brushes some of my hair to the side, getting a better view of my face. I knew I didn't look a mess, but he could see it in my eyes. Everything on the inside that other's couldn't see or detect, he knew it just by glancing at me.
"You my girl. I know whatever you do, it's for me. All that slut shit they saying about it is wrong. You wouldn't ever do that shit to me."
"Never."
"So, don't trip off it. We both know how shit is between us, so don't worry about them people." He presses his lips to my forehead once more, bringing the smallest of smiles on my face. "Now you coming to see me tonight, right?"
"Yeah." I all but whisper. Do you see what I go through? Just a couple of sweet words slip from his mouth and I was playdough that he molded and shaped however he desired. I knew that wasn't all I meant to him. I meant so much more, I could see it, but this is what it felt like. I wasn't going to do anything to stop it either. What could I do?
Without a word, I let him drive me home, Kyrie in the back seat, the two of them loudly rapping and me sitting shotgun, smiling at the antics, as usual. Riley places a hand on my thigh and I look down at it, smiling and place my hand on top of his, as usual.
After a couple of hours for homework, Kyrie burst into my room, telling me to get ready. I give him a small nod and smile, getting up. I walk to my closet, the sweet sounds of PARTYNEXTDOOR playing from my laptop speakers. I had a wide variety of clothing. I was a model. It helped pay for bills and clothes for Kyrie and food on the table. I took care of us. I rarely bought things for myself. Most of the clothes, shoes and jewelry that I owned was bought by my beautiful agent from the photo shoots. She understood my struggle and that there was only one resort left for me if I couldn't get any money. I needed to keep Kyrie afloat. My mother's occasional forty bucks couldn't help provide us for anything. It was hard, until we met Riley. He helped us a lot too.
Before us, he painted things and sold them; he battle rapped, which gave him a lot; he also did internships. He found Kyrie alone, waiting for me to finish my shoot. I told him that it wouldn't be too long and we'd treat ourselves. It took longer than I thought, so I rush, not even changing, just shoving my previous clothes into a bag and running out of the building, almost breaking my ankle in those heels. That's when I see the 6'3" man who goes by the name as Riley, which I found out afterward, talking to my brother. Instantly, I get defensive and grab my brother's wrist.
"Who are you?" I ask, giving him a glare. If I could take my shoe off fast enough, I could drive the heel into his eye if he tried something.
"Riley." He says, giving me a smile. He holds out his hand and I just look at it, my expression still hard and cold.
"Let's go Kyrie." I say, pulling my brother away. We walk away, Riley watching before following us.
"Wait, what's your name?" He asks, quickly catching up to my side. I give him a glare, then look back at Kyrie, who had opened his mouth to say something.
"What did I tell you about strangers Kyrie?" I ask him, causing him to close his mouth.
"Why you treatin me like a kid?" He asks, pulling his wrist out of my grip. "I'm a year younger than you. Chill out." I cross my arms. He was right. I did treat him like a kid, and he was sixteen. The same age I was when I took over fully. I always took care of him, but now that mom was gone, I needed to watch him extra hard.
"Kyrie." I mutter, sighing. Suddenly, Riley wraps his arm around my shoulders.
"You know, Ky, I think your sister works really hard. I mean, from what you tell me, lil nigga, she's all you got. She can't help it sometimes. My older brother did that to me." I push him off of me, hoping he'd fall, but all he did was stumble back. His hand grabs my wrist and my eyes widen as he pulls me to him, in an attempt to steady himself.
"What are you doing?" I ask, pulling away from him.
"Hey…" He looks at me, studying my face. "I knew you looked familiar. You're were in this one magazine."
I look away, crossing my arms. "Yeah, maybe. We have to go now." I look back at Kyrie. "Let's go get some food, okay?"
"Ooh, food sounds nice. What y'all eating?" Riley asks, and I close my eyes.
We couldn't get rid of that nigga. And, after a while, we really clicked. We were the missing puzzle pieces for each other.
"You ready Ray?" I hear Riley ask and I look down at myself. Red knit bodycon skirt, form fitting black v neck crop top and black combat boots.
"Yeah." I say, walking out of my room. I stretch a bit and Riley takes me into his arms. He presses kisses on my cheek and temple until finally reaching my lips. We kiss, my arms looping around his neck.
"I'm finna body this nigga." He says, and I give him a smile.
"I know you are. Especially with Ky at your side."
"I know. My hype man a real nigga."
"Wait a minute. Ain't we missin someone? Where Hiro at?" Kyrie asks, dusting himself off. I look him over, taking in his sagging jeans with a sigh. Something he picked up from Riley, which I was trying to stop. They both needed to stop. They knew I hated that.
"No sagging in my apartment." I say, and the two boys pull up their pants with a groan. I walk over to the door, smiling as Hiro knocks.
"Forget your key?" I ask while opening the door. Hiro rolls his eyes, but pulls me into a tight hug. "I missed you too. How was seeing your mom?"
"Eh, it was alright." He says, letting me go. "I got some cash that we can split though."
"Aight. Along with that and the cash I'm finna get tonight-"
"And the guap I've gotten at my job!"
"And my modeling money."
"We can go out and handle business."
"Aye girlie, what up?" I hear, a hand grabbing my wrist. I turn to face him, my eyebrows raised. The Beast. He was a battle rapper. This year, he got bodied three times. He was known for the delivery of his bars and his aggression. Not much else. We already had enough dirt on him.
My red lips lifted into a smirk. "Ain't you a rapper?" I ask, tilting my head a bit. That's what I did for my little group. I was the one who got all the information straight from the source. Hiro was the one who set up the battles and Kyrie was the hype man.
"Yeah. The best." He looks me up and down. "You lookin real nice tonight ma. Why don't you-"
"I have a boyfriend. Sorry." I say, pulling my wrist from his grip. I turn around, watching him watch me as I walk off. He thought I was playing hard to get. Wow. I smirk a bit, turning forward once more, walking right into Riley's side and into his arms, knowing that Beast, or better known by his government name, Jermaine Johnson, was watching. I lift my head up, capturing Riley in a kiss mid sentence. I didn't care if he was talking to one of his various squad members and supporters. All that I cared about was the immediate circle of us. My family. All these other niggas didn't really matter in my eyes.
I pull away, his lip in between my teeth. I give him a smirk, letting his lip go and giving him a smirk. He looks into my eyes, a heated emotion clearly in them. "You tryna kill me." He mutters and my smirk widens.
"Never that." I would never want him to die. The man loved and hated. One of the reasons I grinded everyday. I'd push him away for good before I'd want him to die.
"You act like it though."
"Wassup Rayen." One of the guys say. I turn to him, giving him a polite smile.
"Aye, can I get Beast and Reezy to the stage?" We hear over the intercom.
"You ready?" I ask, a smile on my face. He keeps his arms around me, kissing me once more.
"Not yet." He says, kissing me again. I roll my eyes, pulling away from him.
"Then get ready. This is serious." I say, giving him a look. "Get on stage and kill this nigga." He gives me a smile and grabs my hand. The two of us walk to the stage, stone faced. There was no smiles when it was time for him to battle. Kyrie and Hiro flank us, Kyrie just as stoned face as me and Riley, pulling up his pants a bit. Hiro on the other hand had a cocky smirk on his face. It almost made me smile.
"Aight" Hakeem says as everyone gets situated on the stage. Hakeem was the leader of Battle Rap Nation, the group hosting this battle. "We gon get started in a minute. Let's just settle down a bit." Hakeem looks around. Riley steps forward, holding his hand out to Beast. Beast's eyes flicker to me, causing the corner of my lips to twitch upward. I must have made him so mad. Good. Riley wanted an opponent, I was just doing what he said.
"Aye, I got one request." Riley says as the two slap hands. Beast gives him a look and Riley continues. "Don't say shit about my girl." He says, his voice low and menacing. This time, I really smirk. He was so sweet. "I'll have to fuck you up." He turns sideways and points at me. "Don't say shit about her."
"Whatever nigga." Beast says, and I roll my eyes.
"He probably never seen Riley versus OG then." Kyrie mutters, shaking his head. I shrug, still smirking.
"If he hasn't, he'll learn."
I never really liked sitting through other guys rounds. They were so boring to me. They said the same shit every other nigga has said: something about how they bang or the type of gun the held. But with Riley, it was one hundred percent from experience. All the bragging he does was the truth. We all knew it, but everyone else assumed that because he was still young, he doesn't understand. They just underestimated him. Tis a shame.
"All yo niggas can get shot up, that's what happen when you fuck around and get caught up. Ain't nothin can stop me when I'm blasting my shit. All you gon see is yo bitch crying over you and yo dead niggas, but that's what happens when you get up here and talk slick nigga." Beast says, causing Riley to look over to me and Kyrie. Kyrie shakes his head as Riley grinds his teeth. It's been the third time Beast had said something about me under the name Bitch, which makes Riley livid. I was used to it though. What got me was that these raps weren't even good. "And if yo bitch wants some dick, tell her to hit me up, fuck boy." Beast says and Riley stops grinding his teeth, his mouth opening a bit in shock. He gives me one look, grinding his teeth again and I open my mouth, trying to form the word no but he quickly turns and punches Beast in the face. Kyrie is behind him in a second, fighting off anyone who tried to hit or approach Riley. Hiro also rushes past, helping Kyrie and I feel a hand go around my wrist.
"Step back, Ray." Hakeem says, and I shake my head, tugging my wrist out of his grip.
"That's my boyfriend in there." I say, looking at the forming crowd, people pushing past us. "I swear, niggas like him don't listen." Without another word, I push through the crowd. "Move! Get out of the way!" I shout, pushing through people.
"Who the hell are you hoe?"
"Shut the fuck up." I say to the girl, pushing past everyone. I reach my boyfriend and brothers. "Hey! Quit it!" I bark out. Kyrie and Hiro give some last punches and back away, but Riley continues. "Riley!" I shout, grabbing his wrist. He stops, breathing deeply.
"Fuck." Riley shouts, pacing back and forth around Beast's fallen body, still angry. "Shit!" I let out a breath, wrapping my arms around him.
"Get the fuck back! Nothing to see over here!" Kyrie shouts, trying to push people back.
"Yo, yo, yo! This battle is done. In a minute, we'll get on with the next one. Sorry y'all."
"Yo, someone help this dude up." Hiro says, walking over to Beast. I let out a breath pulling Riley to the other side.
"I got fucking disqualified over that nigga! I told him to keep his fucking mouth shut! Shit." Riley says, pulling away from me.
"I told you to stop worrying about what they call me." I say, crossing my arms. "You're the dude who's telling me that I'm stronger than that when people call me a slut."
"I'm gonna fuck them up too!" He says, looking back at me. "I always get back on the niggas who be saying shit about you. And when I hear that shit right in my face, I gotta retaliate immediately. I told that nigga don't say shit about you, and he gon test my patience and do that shit anyway? Like, what type of nigga gon do that! That's like me talking about his mother! I bet he gon say some shit when I speak some shit about his moms."
"Riley." I say, grabbing his face with my hands. "I love you." I say, pulling him down for a kiss.
"I love you too." He says, placing his forehead on mine. I could tell he was still mad. "I hate niggas who don't listen."
"Aight, shit been taking care of." Kyrie says, pulling up his pants. I pull away from Riley. "I swear, most niggas understand."
"Because they saw what happened to OG." Hiro mutters and Riley balls up his fists.
"That nigga…" He mutters, shaking his head. I touch his arm, calming him down.
"So, what we finna do now?" Kyrie asks, crossing his arms.
"Nigga!" Someone shouts and we all turn. Almost running toward us was Beast, his nose slightly crooked. I try my hardest not to smirk, turning my head in order to compose myself. It'd be adding more fuel into the flames.
Kyrie takes a step forward. "How this nigga wake up so fast?" He mutters.
"Must've played dead." I say back, and he chuckles, quickly covering it with a cough. Riley put his hand on Kyrie's shoulder, pulling him back a bit.
"Bruh, why the fuck did you snake me?"
"I didn't snake you." Riley says, crossing his arms. I wrap my arm around his torso, to keep the physical contact and to keep him calm. "I was right in front of you."
"Bruh, I did-"
"He gave you fair warning my nigga." Kyrie says, pulling up his pants. "There ain't no bullshit you can tell us right now."
"Kid, get the fuck out my face. Let the grown men speak." Beast says, pushing up on my brother. I turn my head, growing angry. Seeing Kyrie in positions like this made me furious.
"You not no grown man. You let an eighteen year old knock you the fuck out. Yous a bitch now."
"Lil nigga, I should-"
"Shut up." I say, pulling away from Riley. I grab the bottom of Kyrie's shirt and pull him away from Beast. I look him up and down. "I suggest you to bounce."
"You led me on-"
"No one led you on. I told you I had a nigga." I cross my arms, holding my head high. Niggas who get rejected are always so fucking salty.
"What are you talking about? I asked you-"
"You asked me what was up, and I asked you if you were a rapper. You said the best but… I guess you were wrong." I say, looking him up and down, a disgusted look on my face. "Even if I wasn't taken, I wouldn't be with you anyway. You're a lame." I say. "Now please." I wave my hand, shooing him away. He gives me another glare, his eyes then flickering to the three men behind me and grits his teeth. Without another word, he walks away.
We stand in silence, watching him go. "I'm fucking hungry." Riley says, wrapping his arm around my waist. "I want some fucking Taco Bell." We start walking towards the exit.
"Oooooh, a fucking Doritos Locos Taco sounds hella good." Kyrie says, him and Riley slapping hands.
"Their burritos are bomb." Hiro says, and I shake my head.
"Their Chalupas are the best." I say, and Kyrie makes a sound in agreement.
"Yes! That shit too good!" He exclaims, making me smile.
