I don't usually post anything until it's more or less complete and this was meant to be a one-shot but I had less time than usual and I wanted to get something out for Valentine's Day. I hope to get part 2 out tomorrow. Fingers crossed!
P.S. I made a big error. I had Germany, Italy and Prussia at home when they should have been in London so I've done a rewrite and come up with a far more embarrassing way for the three to discover the 'problem'.
Enjoy!
Hetalia belongs to Hidekaz Himaruya!
Valentine's Day Massacred
"Great, West!" Prussia snorted. "Of all the days for a World Meeting, you had to unawesomely pick Valentine's Day!"
This was just one in a long list of complaints since the date for the next World Meeting was revealed. No one was happy and Germany had been called everything from a wanker, to an idiot, to a bastard (that was Romano but Germany could not tell if he was upset about the date or just being his usual charming self).
"I apologise," Germany replied. "I forgot what 14th February was!"
"That's because you don't have a romantic bone in your body, West."
"Why do you care?" Germany commented. "You're not even part of the meetings, you just crash them for your own amusement."
"Canada is a part of them," Prussia pointed out. "Me and Birdie had plans for Valentine's Day and you've just screwed them up!" Germany sighed. He had had the same complaint from everyone. As England was the host nation, he was going to surprise America with a boat ride on the Thames and then dinner at one of the restaurants followed by a show in the West End.
The boat ride was out and they would be cutting it fine to make the dinner reservation. England was not a happy bunny.
Many had similar complaints. Prussia and Canada had plans to spent time in Hyde Park before going for 'Pub Grub' and then to the cinema to whatever film they could agree on. They were going to have to revise those plans now and Prussia was really giving Germany grief over it.
"I'm sorry, Bruder," Germany said, again. "I can only apologise so many times."
"I suppose you can't help being so unawesomely unromantic," Prussia huffed, knowing that complaining further would change nothing.
"I can be romantic!" Germany protested.
"Oh, come on! West," Prussia replied. "Italy's the one who always decides what you do on your dates! He's the romantic!"
"I did organise a Valentine's Day date once!"
"Ja," Prussia snickered. "I heard about that. Italy freaked out!" Germany did not need reminding about that disastrous attempt.
"That was just a misunderstanding," he said. "I'll organise Valentine's Day this year and Italy will have a good time!"
"I'll believe it when I see it!"
Valentine's Day morning ….
Prussia woke up on Valentine's Day with a raging hangover. Everyone had gone out the night before (except Germany. He was busy getting ready for the meeting) and he, Denmark and America had managed to get Italy to join them and they all got plastered. If Germany found out he had gotten Italy drunk, Germany would kill Prussia.
Wallowing in his self-inflicted agony, Prussia did not notice at first that he was not alone. It was only when he heard a light snore that he turned and looked into his sleeping brother's face.
What was he doing in the same bed as Germany? And where was Italy? Just how much had he drunk last night that would have him crawling into the wrong bed? And the wrong hotel room too.
He also realised he was not wearing anything. Gott! How whammed had he been? He had to get out of here before Germany woke up. His head was in no condition for one of Germany's lectures.
Holding his head, he eased his legs over the edge of the bed. It hurt to even open his eyes but he did and spotted a pair of underpants on the floor. He picked them up and then closed his eyes again against the pain the light was causing. By touch alone, he managed to put his feet in the relevant holes and, slowly standing up, pulled them on. He managed to get out of the room without waking Germany (or so he thought) and went into the adjoining bathroom, hoping a shower might help his hangover. Afterward, he would go and find a beer and have some hair of the dog.
He undressed and stepped into the shower, feeling the warm water cascade over him as he raised his head to feel the water fall on his face. That was when he felt someone wrapped their arms around his waist and kissed his neck. Who on earth...?
When he turned and saw who it was, he screamed!
Italy could not remember the last time he had a hangover and he wished he did not have one now. Even his hair hurt and he squeezed his eyes tight shut against a wave of nausea that swept over him and he swallowed rapidly to prevent his stomach from rising into his throat. When it passed, he realised two things.
One, he was dressed in underwear he did not recognise. He never wore anything in bed.
Two, he was alone. Where was Germany?
He opened his eyes and did not recognise his surroundings at first. Then he realised it was an hotel room and then he saw various items of clothing scattered around the room but they were not his. Then he saw Gilbird sitting on top of his cage, asleep. What was he doing in Prussia's room? And where was Prussia?
Italy practically fell out of Prussia's bed and almost crawled out the door, remembering to pick up the spare room key to his and Germany's room that Germany had given Prussia (boy, did Germany regret that!). When he made it to the door, he managed to achieve an almost full upright position and went in.
That was when he heard a scream from the bathroom. That sounded like Prussia!
He walked into the bathroom and asked, "Ve~ What's wrong, Prussia?"
And all hell broke loose.
World Meeting …..
"If you don't try to grope me," England warned France. "I won't try to strangle you. I want to get through this meeting as fast as possible. America and I have plans!"
"We all do, Angleterre," France replied. "I'm the Country of Love. Of course, I would have plans for today. I have two belles waiting for me and ….. "
"Spare me the details, frog," England interrupted. "Just leave me alone and maybe we'll get out of here sooner."
Everyone was making deals to get along and get out in time to salvage something of their Valentine's Day plans. It looked like this meeting might be trouble-free for a change.
What was that about speaking too soon?
"Germany and Italy's late," England commented, when they still had not turned up ten minutes after the meeting was due to start. "The Nordics are missing too."
"Yeah! Where are those dudes?" America pondered. His question was soon answered when Germany, Italy and Prussia came through the doors and everyone knew that something was a bit off.
Italy had a cocky smirk on his face and Prussia was wrapped around a red-faced Germany's arm. With a arrogant stride, Italy walked over to someone nobody had noticed was in the room, took Canada's face in both hands and firmly and thoroughly kissed him.
Canada's eyes went wide and his arms began flapping. What was Italy doing? Both their boyfriends were in the room, for heaven's sake.
Everyone's jaw dropped. Hungary produced a camera and managed to get a couple of photos before she fainted with a nose bleed. Japan managed not to faint but a red fountain gushed from his nose as he snapped away. Everyone expected to hear Germany and Prussia to start yelling but, instead, Germany was facepalming and Prussia had a soppy look on his face.
When the kiss ended, Italy looked into Canada's eyes with an arrogant grin.
"Happy Valentine's Day, Birdie," he said, in a German accent.
Canada stared at what looked like the Italian nation but somehow he knew the reality.
"Prussia!" he gasped. He looked over at the Prussia who was holding Germany's arm.
"Veee~" Prussia gushed.
The room went completely silent
Earlier ….
Germany had woken up just as Italy sneaked into the bathroom. Germany smiled and got up to surprise him.
He watched his little Italian undress and climb into the shower and just stand in the waterfall of warm water for a moment and then he undressed and went into the shower behind Italy. He would show Prussia romantic.
He came up behind Italy and wrapped his arms around his waist and kissed his shoulder where it met his neck. Italy turned and when he saw Germany, he screamed, surprisingly like Prussia.
"Ve~, What's wrong, Prussia?" Prussia's voice said in an Italian accent from the door. Italy and Prussia took one look at each other.
And they both screamed.
Back to the meeting ….
"What the hell ….. ?" America was the first to recover his voice after the spectacle of seeing his twin getting soundly snogged by Italy. "Is that …. ?" He pointed at Italy. "And that …. ?" pointing at Prussia. "What the hell going on?"
"That's what I want to find out," Germany replied. It had taken some time for the three of them to get over the embarrassment of the morning incident. Italy had cried for a full hour, thinking Germany was cheating on him with some kind of incestuous affair with his own brother and it had taken some time for Germany to explain that he thought that Prussia was him, as if the fact that Italy and Prussia had swapped bodies was not a big enough clue. There was still something of an awkwardness and Germany could not look Prussia? Italy? in the eye. "If I didn't know better, I'd say someone's magic had gone wrong again." Everyone turned to England with Germany glaring at him. If he was responsible for this, Germany was ready to preform a public execution.
"Why are all you gits looking at me?" Britain demanded.
"Weeelllll," America replied. "You do have form for screwing up, magically."
"FYI," England fumed. "I haven't performed any magic for over a month so you wankers will just have to find someone else to blame."
"I'm afraid that would be me," came Norway's voice from the door. Everyone turned to see the Nordics at the door but once again something was off.
Denmark was stood next to a very uncomfortable-looking Finland, with an emotionless face and his hair was flat. His normal expressive and laughing eyes were stern and piercing. His hand was resting on Finland's shoulder who's facial expression said, Holy Martin Luther, he's scary!
Sweden's hair was stuck up and spiky and his eyes were full of emotion, right now the emotion was 'annoyed'. He was wearing Denmark's strange little hat on his head. He kept trying to put his arm around Norway and Norway was shrugging him off and looking like he was resisting the urge to strangle Sweden.
Iceland stood to the side, trying not to wet himself, laughing.
"What happened, Norway?" Britain asked. "It's not like you to mess up your spells."
"I didn't exact 'mess up' as you put it," Norway replied. "It started last night …..."
The night before ….
Why had Norway let Denmark talk him into going to a pub? He just knew Denmark would start acting stupid, especially when the alcohol started flowing. And there he went, right on cue!
Several nations were in the pub they went to. They met up with Denmark's drinking buddies, Prussia and America, the so-called Awesome Trio. Prussia had dragged along Italy and the small nation was already half-cut.
"Germany won't like you getting Italy drunk," Norway warned. "Perhaps he should stop drinking now."
"Ahhh! Come on, Norge," Denmark replied. "Let the guy had some fun!"
"Ja!" Prussia agreed. "He needs a good time, now and then, living with mein bruder. Training this, strategy that, don't draw on my tanks, stop running away. I'm going to show Italy a fun time."
"I'll come to your funeral when Germany kills you," Norway promised.
"That dude's waaay too anal," America commented. "He needs to lighten up
As the night wore on, the Awesome Trio and Italy got more and more wasted and Denmark got more and more annoying. Sometimes Norway loved Denmark's antics (although Norway would never admit it out loud) and sometimes they just irritated the crap out of him.
Like now.
Then Sweden came in with Finland. The two of them just came in for a quiet drink before going back to their hotel for the evening, ready for the meeting next morning. Denmark wandered over to them and dragged them into the drunken group, much to Sweden's annoyance. Denmark was one of the few people that could get Sweden to show emotion. Unfortunately, most of the time that emotion was pissed off!
"Yes, everybody knows I'm the King of Scandinavia," Denmark said, a little too loudly for Norway's liking, considering there was ordinary humans about.
"N'ws ta ma," Sweden replied. "If ya goin' ta t'lk n'nsense, w'it til ya asl'ep."
"I am the King," Denmark slurred. "Admit it!"
"N'," Sweden replied.
"Admit it!"
"N'ver!"
Denmark lurched at Sweden to grab him in a headlock which Sweden dodged and reversed and now Denmark was struggling in Sweden's grip and as they staggered around, they bumped into Norway, causing him to spill his drink down his shirt.
Norway had had enough of this idiocy. He was going to make these two idiots play nice and he had just the spell. He muttered the ancient Norse phrases. Now he just had to sit back and let the spell to its job. It would take effect when they slept.
Norway had not realised that when he cast the spell, Prussia and Italy were sat together, barely conscious, behind the two fighting Nordics.
Or the effect it would have.
Back to the meeting …..
Prussia vaguely remember the fight but Italy had been so far gone he did not remember anything.
"I cast the mind swap spell to get these two morons to stop fighting," Norway finished. "Chances are I caught Italy and Prussia with it as well."
"Can you change them back?" Germany asked. He had made plans for himself and Italy for today and this would put a serious crimp on them.
"Not with this spell," Norway admitted. "It's a short term spell so an anti-spell was never created. We just have to let it run its course." Prussia/Italy smirked, knowing just what was running through his bruder's mind.
"Well, I don't mind," he said, hugging Canada to his side. "Whatever body I'm in, I'm still awesome!" Canada looked very unsure about it all.
Germany looked down at Italy/Prussia holding on to his arm and he all could think about was the plans he had made and now he had to woo his Italian boyfriend who was trapped in the body of his own bruder.
That's just wrong however you say it!
Well, that's the start. I'll try to get the second part out tomorrow, if not Monday, so stay tuned. And Happy Valentine's Day!
Hasta la Pasta!
