This is something I wrote originally to accompany a little Portal-pic I drew for Christmas. (Which you can find at http : / lieju . deviantart . com / #/ d4k5rb8 ) So it was kinda written in a hurry...
'Twas Christmas (or the day before),
And for that most people were preparing for.
In Aperture labs all was still,
But then, with a shriek so shrill,
In crashed a British core.
...
And right in the main computer room,
where GLaDOS was hanging in gloom,
Because of his bad luck of course,
Wheatley crashed with quite a force,
and prepared to face his doom.
...
Before she could disassemble, torch, or,
throw him into trash compactor,
He turned on his British charm:
"I assure you, I meant no harm!
the sleigh got on my way!" he swore.
...
Unsure what he was going on about for,
but deeming it best to ignore,
"It has been so much fun,
now get ready to be catapulted to the sun"
she said, deciding to settle the score.
...
"No! Aren't you curious about what I saw!"
screamed the core hanging in her claw.
"For my falling from the sky the cause,
was, believe it or not, Santa Claus!
for crashing to his sleigh made me yaw!"
...
Indeed, GLaDOS wasn't about to believe it,
When Chell arrived to save the Brit.
She told the robots, (I don't know how)
"We have no time for this now!
it was SANTA that you hit!"
...
"What if Christmas doesn't come?
something must be done!"
"Ridiculous", sighed GLaDOS.
"But you got your point across,
I'll let you go but you better RUN!"
...
So they did, and when they were clear
the little robot spoke with fear:
"Thanks, and sorry for trying to kill you"
But is saving Christmas something we can do?"
She nodded. "We have all we need here!"
...
And that winter night,
there was quite a sight,
a sleigh with the help of repulsion gel,
piloted by Wheatley and Chell,
through the skies took flight.
...
For Charley, a singing turret in gift-wrap,
for little Mary a mantis-man trap,
For good children Companion cubes,
maybe some pneumatic tubes,
for naughty kids some Black Mesa crap.
...
Portalling in and out,
they could move about,
with a wondrous speed,
they did it indeed,
and no kid was left without.
...
So the disaster was averted,
and even without the fat man in red,
Christmas came to the Earth,
celebrating the birth,
of some Jewish guy who's now dead.
...
And yet, even with all the holiday cheer,
There was someone who would just sneer,
Underground in her vast facility,
GLaDOS was lacking the ability,
to enjoy this time of the year.
...
And when Chell strolled in for a chat,
she didn't even feel like calling her fat.
"Presents, decorations" she said, with a voice subdued,
"carols and trees, and stuffing yourself full with food,
Where is the science in that?"
...
But this time Chell wouldn't flee.
She smiled: "Can you not see?
I thought you knew,
Science is all around you,
How could it not be?"
...
Science is a tool to research reality,
and surely in actuality,
We can now objectively state,
without any debate,
At least Santa's physicality?
...
Be the first to scientifically study,
(Maybe with your test-subject buddy)
This magical phenomenon,
I know you want to, go on!
...
This is an opportunity for you!
form a hypothesis, test it too,
Process the data, spot a trend,
and finally in the end,
submit for peer review!
...
GLaDOS was shaken to her computer core,
how could she miss this chance to learn more?
And when Chell took out her notes with a smirk,
they both were glad to get to work,
because there was so much to explore.
...
So GLaDOS was happy, even though no one died,
And with Chell by her side,
They made many discoveries,
studying magical anomalies.
And if this story sucks, well, I tried.
