A/N: [PLEASE READ] I've been wanting to write a decent AU story for quite some time, and out of all my (mostly horrible) ideas I decided that this one was the best. It just hit me one day, and ever since then I knew I had to share it with you all. I've planned out a lot of the plot, but I'm not sure if anyone's up to reading it. If you think I should continue, please leave some feedback.
In this story, Padmé finds out she's pregnant in the last episode of The Clone Wars series (which has yet to air) and announces it to Anakin. This chapter takes place several weeks afterward, during what would normally be the beginning of Revenge of the Sith.
Anyway, without further adieu...
PROLOGUE
Life.
No words could express its mind-blowing beauty. It was truly the most amazing thing the two of them had ever created; the most wonderful object to have sprouted inside of her. She'd never felt more complete.
Blue.
It was the color of his eyes; a light shade with a green tint that she couldn't keep out of her mind. She remembered the way those irises had lit up when she'd first told him the news. Oh, how she needed to see his eyes…
Hands.
Caressing her lower abdomen where they speculated the baby bump would soon grow. She placed her own there now, stroking it back and forth and wishing they were his instead.
Moonlight.
It would stream in through the fluttering curtains that lined the window and onto his face as they faced each other on their bed, arguing and teasing one another in whispers over the baby's gender.
Sheets.
The cool fabric had felt nice against her legs as she'd tucked them against his own and he'd held her for what seemed like an eternity. She stared at them now—and the crimson hue that came along with them—and felt her eyes swell with hot tears.
The five words swarmed her mind and memory, and she kept listing them off to herself as she tried to remain calm. Eventually they were all she could think of, and when even they began to fade it was all she could take to remain standing.
Everything seemed far away. The sound of the bath water overflowing the tub in the refresher; the late-night traffic of Coruscant through the open window as hovercrafts hummed in the distance; a gold-plated droid asking if she was all right, shortly before her knees gave way and she crumbled into a shaking heap on the floor.
She'd lost it.
She'd lost her baby, the most precious gift her husband had ever given her. The one thing that had kept them even closer together in these dark, chaotic times; the bond that tied them even more tightly than the marriage certificate laying in the bottom drawer of her office desk.
There would be no more late-night discussions, no hands to wrap around her stomach in love and care, no gleam or shine to his proud azure eyes. There would only be once-clean, crisp, new sheets, now tinged with blood, and one thousand different kinds of loneliness.
Her body rocked with sobs as all these new truths dawned upon her. She bowed her head and curled into the fetal position, clawing the carpet with her trembling fingers. The sounds emitting from her lips were no longer suppressed, and soon the room was filled with her struggled breathing and soft whimpers.
I've lost it… I've lost it.
Never before had she felt so empty.
