All I Want for Christmas is You

Twilight Christmas O/S

AU, OOC

Bella/Carlisle

BPOV

Three months. It's been three months since Edward and the rest of the Cullen's left me a few days after my fuck-up of a birthday party. Three months that have seen me catatonic, borderline anorexic, practically an insomniac, and full of so much misery it's hard to breathe. The kicker of it all? Edward wanted me to forget them. "It'll be like we never existed," he said before taking off like the coward he is. I snorted as I thought of his silly words. Mind like a sieve, huh? I guess that kind of mentality shows that no matter how many decades you've lived, there's still a difference between book smart and common sense smart. I have three months of anecdotal proof that as much as I may almost want to forget them, I can't. Never mind forgetting them naturally.

I managed to come out of my mental safety bubble about a week ago only to realize Christmas was around the corner. I couldn't help but wish my mind would have stayed on vacation until after the new year so I wouldn't have to deal with the holidays. Too many people with too many expectations and too many well wishes that I wanted nothing to do with. Charlie being in my face about it was bad enough. Now I'll be expected to go shopping for gifts and groceries for some mega-dinner. That means having to deal with the aforementioned people. The only up-shot to all this is at least school is already on Christmas break so I'll have time to get myself together before I have to really deal with the student population. Ugh. They'll be the worst.

I was suddenly feeling claustrophobic and decided to go for a drive. Charlie was working as usual so I left a note in case he came home early for some reason. I wasn't expecting him until late since he'd been working so much overtime. I guess when your daughter spends most of her time staring off into space, there's not much reason to hang around. I did feel badly about how much I'd neglected him and worried him over the last few months, but there just wasn't anything I could do. It's not like I wanted to have a mental break because the boy I thought was the love of my life (and then some) decided to up and yank his family out from under me like a rug.

I got into my truck and fired it up quickly so I could get the heat going. The amount of heat this behemoth pumps out continues to surprise me every time I drive it to be honest. I started out driving around the residential streets just looking at the decorations people had put up outside their houses. Most were pretty mild, but every couple of streets there seemed to be a Griswald who was looking to be seen from whatever satellite was orbiting over top of them tonight. I shook my head in disbelief and wondered what kind of electric bills those people would have and if it was really worth it.

I drove out of town, not really paying attention to where I was going since I wasn't trying to go anywhere specific. There was no traffic to be had so I didn't worry about keeping to the speed limit. I was in no hurry to go nowhere. I began to let my mind wander back to the night of my birthday party for the millionth time this week. For some reason, my mind tended to zero in on my conversation with Carlisle while he was stitching up my arm without my trying. I had no reason to seriously contemplate what was said. At least there were no reasons that were obvious. I remember Carlisle's eyes as we talked about Edward's opinion of them being damned and the compassion behind his eyes as he explained it all in more detail. I remember thinking how glad I was that Carlisle and I seemed to share the same opinion on the subject.

I was brought out of my reverie when I realized the truck had come to a complete stop in front of the house that belonged to the family I lost. I panicked since I hadn't been here since the night of my party and was almost positive being here would send me spiraling back into the black hole I'd recently climbed out of. Then I decided maybe it was best to try and force such a reaction so I could go back to being pleasantly numb. I sat in the running truck for several minutes trying to gauge how this would all turn out when I decided to say the hell with it and get out. I trudged through the snow up to the front porch and peered through a window. I couldn't see much, but from what I could tell all the big furniture was still there and even some of the smaller items I'd have expected them to take along. I walked over to the front door and was flabbergasted to find it was unlocked when I tried the handle. I stepped in quickly and shut the door tightly behind me.

I took off my wet boots at the door and padded softly into the living room. I stood there for who knows how long while my mind cycled through memory after memory of all the good times we'd had here. Even with Rosalie's bad attitude and Jasper's stand-offish behavior, there were nothing but good memories until I got to the last one. The one memory that changed everything... I shook my head violently to get the images out of my head. That particular flashback would certainly send me reeling. Now that I was here, I wasn't so sure I wanted my black hole of numbness back. I crossed to the sofa and sat down so the mild dizziness I was encountering didn't end with me on my butt. I leaned back and closed my eyes while taking deep breaths.

Part of me couldn't help but wonder what spending Christmas with the Cullen's would have been like. I'm sure the driveway leading to the great, white house would have trees adorned with bright red ribbons and lights that turned on at night. The outside of the house would have icicle lights hanging from the eaves and spouting. Inside the house would be warm and smell of cinnamon with a hint of pine from the freshly cut tree. The tree would be covered in lights and ornaments, making the large living room cozier. The banister leading up the stairs would have garland wrapped around it. Little Christmas knick-knacks would be spread throughout the main living spaces to dress up every end table and bookshelf. The dining room table would have a large centerpiece with a red and green table runner. The best decoration though? The best decoration would be the mistletoe hanging in the doorway leading to the kitchen we all passed under with our mates at some point or another.

I shook my head again to clear that thought from my head. I didn't want to think about that. I didn't want to think about kissing the boy who threw me away like yesterday's newspaper. As that thought flashed through my head, I snapped my eyes open and found myself wondering where the hell that came from. For the first time in three months, I realized I didn't want Edward. I didn't want him. I didn't want his love. I didn't want to hear his velvet voice. I didn't want to see his signature bronze hair. I didn't want to look into his golden eyes. I didn't want Edward Cullen, vampire, love of my life. I sat there panting as all of these realizations flew through my head at the speed of light. There was a sense of freedom, of space in my head. There was a clarity that shined on the same memories from earlier and made certain things Edward had said and done appear garish and silly. The hole in my chest, while smaller, didn't close entirely because although I may be getting over Edward, I still miss the rest of the family.

I sat back again and closed my eyes so I could revel in the freedom I had gained. I could finally breathe without feeling like I was constantly gasping. It was amazing. I allowed myself to picture the living room decorated again and found the idea didn't bring the original heartbreak it did. I smiled softly to myself and let my mind wander again. I was brought back to the night of my party again and found myself getting irritated. Obviously my subconscious wanted me to find something here or my addled brain wouldn't keep coming back to it. It was always the part where Carlisle was stitching up my arm while we talked about whether or not they, as vampires, were damned. My brain put the part where Carlisle looked up at me to look me in the eye on repeat. As I continued to mentally look into Carlisle's golden eyes, I focused on what I was supposed to find.

I felt like I was on the edge of an epiphany when a sudden gasp shattered my concentration. I snapped my eyes open and jumped off the couch simultaneously only to be met with the eyes in question. Not ten feet away stood the blonde god with scorching gold eyes widened in shock at my apparent presence. I stood shaking like a leaf for what felt like hours when a whisper so soft I could barely hear it sounded.

"Bella?"

I began to notice black spots swimming in vision and realized I hadn't been breathing. I felt my body begin to sway and took a deep breath, but it wasn't soon enough. The last thing I remember seeing before everything going black was Carlisle darting to my side to catch me as I crumbled to the floor.

~*oOo*~

I felt myself coming up out of the darkness of my mind slowly. My head was throbbing slightly and I felt my eyes wince because of it. I heard some rustling to my right that confused me at first. Flashes of what had happened earlier proceeded in quick succession through my head, bringing me up to speed and allowing me to surmise the movement I heard was Carlisle. I slowly opened my eyes and searched for the source of movement and was, once again, met with the gold eyes of Carlisle. I sucked in somewhat startled breath. I was overcome with the extreme depth and beauty of his eyes. I struggled with why I was suddenly so taken with them when I'd not only looked him in the eye countless times before, but when I'd looked into the golden eyes of each member of the Cullen family and was never this moved. Even Edward's hadn't made me feel like this.

I'm not sure how long I laid there staring before realizing he probably thought I was nuts. I snickered internally and reminded myself that I was nuts...or at least borderline. I cleared my throat quietly and sat myself all while maintaining eye contact with the Cullen patriarch. He sat perfectly still in the way only a vampire can, eying me warily. We sat silently for a few more minutes and I used the time to figure out where we were in the house. The burgundy and cream comforter on the bed clued me in immediately that we were in Carlisle and Esme's room. It made sense that he would lay me down somewhere after I passed out. I flushed and scoffed out loud at my gaffe. Leave it to me to not lose consciousness due to shock. Nope, I'll just stop breathing and deprive my brain of oxygen. I glanced back up at Carlisle and found his only change in demeanor was a lifted eyebrow. I realized he was probably wondering the reason for the somewhat unladylike noise that escaped me. Flushing more deeply, I huffed out a breath and finally broke the silence.

"Look, I get that I mean nothing to you or the rest of your family and that you found me trespassing, but do you really need to stare at me as though you're hoping I'll spontaneously combust?"

Carlisle finally blinked a few times and shifted his position on the bed. He opened and closed his mouth a few times while he seemed to struggle with how to reply. After several tries on his part, I rolled my eyes and swung my legs off the left side of the bed to get up. I stood quickly and began walking toward the bedroom door. I wasn't going to sit here all night waiting for him to figure out what the hell to say or not say. I knew nothing would change. I didn't realize until I was trying to make a quick getaway that somewhere between the time I gained consciousness and this moment, I'd begun to hope. Hope for what exactly? I had no clue. All I did know is this was becoming dangerous to my slightly better mental state and if I wanted to maintain any of the peace and clarity I had gained before Carlisle showed up, I needed to get out as soon as possible.

I rounded the bed and got a foot away from the bedroom door when I felt a cool, firm grip on my wrist stopping me. I tried to pull from is grasp, but he wouldn't allow it. I let out an exasperated sigh and turned to look at Carlisle once again. The look in his eyes had changed drastically. Gone was the wariness, replaced with confusion and even a bit of...pleading? I felt my own face contort with confusion and found my body moving closer to him on its own accord. I didn't understand any of what was going on nor did I understand the feeling in the air. There was an undercurrent of something flowing between us that I didn't want to think too much about. Whatever it was felt right. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew that feeling of "right" should feel wrong, but I couldn't bring myself to dwell on it.

I slowly raised my free hand to Carlisle's cheek. I hesitated a few centimeters from his form, hovering just above the marble surface of his face. He sucked in an unneeded breath as my hand closed the distance and finally touched him. His eyes closed as soon I made contact. I realized my right hand was now free since the hand he'd used to grasp it was now at my waist. I slowly brought my right hand up to cup his other cheek. As this hand made contact, his eyes flashed back open. I drew in an unsteady breath and licked my lips. I watched Carlisle's eyes shift down to my lips and darken slightly as he watched the movement. He quickly looked back up into my eyes and I saw something new there. This emotion was just under the surface, barely being held back. I could almost feel the restraint he was using to keep himself in check. I shifted a little closer to him and saw the color of his irises roll and smolder.

The air around us was nearly crackling with electricity. I felt the tension grow almost imperceptibly when both of Carlisle's hands moved to my hips. I heard myself whimper softly when I felt his thumbs gently graze the bare skin exposed between the top of my jeans and bottom of my shirt. The electricity came to a fever pitch when I inclined my face toward his. All thought left my head when I felt his grip on my hips tighten and pull them forward as he bent his face down to mine. There was a moment of hesitation, but with a sudden crash of thunder from outside, Carlisle closed the last bit of distance between us and caught my lips with a searing kiss.

All the built up energy in and around us exploded as soon as our lips touched. This kiss was like nothing I'd ever experienced with Edward. This kiss was everything. My lips began moving with Carlisle's immediately. There was no hesitation or fear on my part, nor did there seem to be any on his. I let my hands slide down his neck and around to grasp the silky hair at the nape. I tugged him closer to me and crushed myself to him unashamedly. There was a coil beginning to tighten in the pit of my stomach and I felt the ache between my thighs begin to throb as my heart rate increased. I pulled away to gasp for air only to have Carlisle yank me back to him as soon as I sucked in a breath. I felt his tongue dart into my mouth with this kiss and I immediately responded by caressing his tongue with mine. We both moaned at the contact as we truly tasted each other for the first time.

While our tongues twisted and tangled, fighting for dominance, Carlisle began running his hands up and down my sides. When his thumbs finally grazed the sides of my breasts, I pulled away to take a much needed breath and shivered involuntarily. Our eyes found each others' immediately. I let go of his hair and brought my hands back around and began moving them slowly down his chiseled chest and abs. I looked down and followed the path my hands made with my eyes and noticed for the first time what Carlisle was wearing. He looked simply mouthwatering in an ice blue button up shirt with the sleeves rolled so his forearms were exposed. The shirt was tucked into a pair of stressed, dark wash designer jeans. As my hands made their way back up his torso, I made note of how much the ice blue shirt set off the absolutely breathtaking liquid gold that were his eyes.

I yanked his shirt out from his pants and began unbuttoning it quickly despite my shaking hands. I had to find out what his silky, marble skin felt like under my sensitive fingertips. I looked back up into his eyes and saw that they'd turned a molten shade of obsidian and were completely alight with lust. I felt a strong tug in my lower abdomen and was immediately aware of my panties becoming increasingly wet. I watched Carlisle inhale through his nose, his nostrils flaring when the scent of my arousal hit him. He growled lowly causing me to moan and pull his lips back to mine. My hands shoved his shirt off his shoulders and began memorizing every plane and subtle dip of his toned abdominals. I slid my hands up to his chest and raked my nails over his nipples causing him to hiss. The next thing I knew, I was flying sideways and landed on the bed.

Carlisle appeared in front of me in a blur only to shred my shirt and bra from my torso. He knelt at the foot of the bed while his eyes roamed my upper body hungrily. I was surprised my usual blush hadn't appeared once I was left exposed, but the sheer lust that was blatantly rolling off Carlisle nipped any uncertainty or modesty in the bud. I brazenly ran my hands up my torso and palmed my breasts. I felt my head fall back as I relished the feeling and wasn't surprised when cold hands were pushing mine out of the way. I laid back and felt me arousal increase exponentially when Carlisle arranged himself comfortably between my thighs, his obvious erection rubbing on my core as he kissed around my belly button. I grabbed his hair again and began tugging on it to try and bring his face back up to mine. He kissed, licked, and nipped his way up my stomach and paused at my sternum to pay special attention to the area before moving his cool tongue to my right breast. He used the tip of his tongue to circle the nipple before sucking it carefully into his mouth. I sucked in a breath and involuntarily bucked my hips at the sensation, causing both of us to groan in pleasure as his throbbing cock hit my heated core just right.

We'd been wordless so far, but feeling him so close to my most sensitive area was enough for me to finally speak.

"Carlisle... I need you inside me," I pleaded. I wasn't above begging for this man to take me and make me his. I would deal with whatever consequences came from our joining later. I didn't want to ask any questions and I didn't want him to ask any of me. For once in my life, I just wanted to do what felt right, and what felt right at that moment was Carlisle.

He stared me down for about fifteen seconds before I felt my jeans and underwear being torn from my body. He tore his own jeans from his body and I was very surprised to find that he had gone commando. Seemingly super conservative Carlisle going commando like a bad boy made another rush of fluid leave my body. At that point, any filter that was in place left, and I blurted the first thing that came to mind.

"Fucking commando, Carlisle? I never knew you had it in you. Now why don't you seal your bad boy image and give me the naughty Christmas gift you just unwrapped."

He raised an eyebrow at the combination of my language and forwardness, I would assume. I was starting to get a irritated at his lack of vocalization and decided continuing to embrace this new side of myself would probably be the way to get him talking.

"What's the matter, Carlisle? Another cat got your tongue, because my pussy certainly doesn't have it." I spread my legs as I said this so he could get a good look at what I was offering him. Suddenly, Carlisle was on top of me and shifting between my thighs to get lined up with the entrance to my soaked core. I reached down between us and wrapped my hot little hand around his ridiculously hard length. He hissed at the contact and reached down to remove my hand so he could plunge into me. I used my other hand to tip his head up so he'd make eye contact with me. With a look of absolute desperation in his eyes, I heard him whisper, "Bella..." faintly before thrusting himself fully into drenched core.

There was no hesitation or caution on his part. The raw power exuding from him in the half second it took for him to fully seat himself inside me left me breathless, not to mention the feeling of being almost uncomfortably filled...almost. There was pain from being stretched and having my barrier broken, but the pleasure that followed was quick so there was no dwelling on the pain. I'd have sworn his onyx eyes got darker as he inhaled the scent of my blood as it mixed with my juices. I thrust up to let him know I was ready for him to continue.

He stared me down as he began pounding into me. This was no sweet love making. This was...more. As fast-paced and almost rough as it was, I couldn't bring myself to consider it "fucking." It was more than that, but I couldn't figure out a way to explain how or why. It just was. Then I realized I was over-thinking again and shut that part of my brain down so I could focus on the sensations he was bringing forth. I found my hands had taken on minds of their own and were tracing every inch of skin that was within reach. As the coil in my abdomen began tightening again, I ran my hands around to his back and scratched down it. The pressure I was exerting must have been just enough for him to feel, because the growl he let out was one of pure pleasure.

He braced himself on his left forearm and used his right hand to pull my left leg up to rest on his shoulder. We both groaned loudly as the new angle allowed him in even deeper, causing him to hit a spot inside me just right. I didn't think it would be possible for him to thrust any harder or faster than he was, but vampire speed had its definite advantages as well as Carlisle's amazing control. He leaned his face down and began assaulting my lips with his again. I slid my tongue against his lips and moaned in appreciation when he opened him mouth to me. Our tongues were sliding against each other sinfully and I was able to better appreciate his flavor that way. I brought my hands to the back of his neck so I could hold him in place while I ravaged his mouth. His right hand that had been helping keep my left leg in place reached around and began kneading my left breast. All the combined sensations were amazing and the coil in my abdomen began really cinching up. I could tell I wasn't very far off from my orgasm. I pushed Carlisle's head away so I could look him in the eye.

"I'm so...ugh...I'm so close, Carlisle," I huffed out. "Make me...ooh yes...make me...come. I want to...come...all over you."

Carlisle smashed his mouth back down to mine, but managed to keep his eyes locked with mine at the same time. I felt his hand slide down and his fingers connect with my swollen nub. I groaned into his mouth and shut my eyes at the feeling. He yanked his mouth from mine and said, "Open your eyes, gorgeous. I want to see you when I make you come undone."

My eyes snapped open at the gentle forcefulness of his voice. There was no way I couldn't comply. His relentless pounding and gyrating was amazing as he hit that sweet spot over and over in succession. His fingers continued to circle around my clit as the pressure built rapidly again. I was hanging by a thread. My release was right there and I could tell Carlisle knew that. He was holding back a bit to keep me lingering on that precipice. I wanted to yell at him for teasing me, but all I could do was moan and grunt as the pressure continued to climb to heights I didn't think possible. When I was able to form a few coherent words, it was a series of "fuck" and "ohmygod."

My hands that had just been holding onto his shoulders moved back to his hair so I could tug on it some more. Carlisle sucked in a breath and I felt his cock twitch inside me. I could tell he was finally getting to the same point I was.

"You like that? You like it when I tug on your hair," I asked in a husky voice while pulling on his hair again. He growled while his dick twitched again.

"Don't you wanna feel me come around you," I managed to ground out. His fingers picked up their speed on my increasingly super sensitive clit. Just a little more pressure would send me flying. I was hoping I could shove him off the edge in hopes he'd pull me along with him. Talking dirty seemed to be the way to do that.

"I wanna feel you explode inside me, Carlisle. Come inside me. I want to milk you for all you have."

That was all it took to set him off. He clenched his jaw and pinched my clit with his thumb and index finger, sending me head first into a blinding orgasm. As my walls slammed around his impossibly hard cock, he let out a roar as his seed shot up inside me. I was somehow able to feel its cool temperature all while I was seeing stars from the earth-shattering orgasm that was ripping its way through my body. His dick jerked inside me again as it let go of another stream, causing me to have another orgasm. My head was thrown back with my eyes screwed shut at this point, but it was involuntary.

Carlisle let my leg down off his shoulder and collapsed half on top of me. I relished the feel of his body weight, though I was quite sure he wasn't putting all of his weight on me. I wrapped my arms around his waist and held him to me while he buried his face in the crook of neck. I could feel his harsh but cool breaths hitting my skin causing goosebumps to appear. I shivered slightly at the feeling, causing our connected bodies to shift against each other. We both moaned and I felt his cock stir and twitch inside me. He pulled his face away from my neck so he could smirk down at me while moving his hips in a small circle. I gasped at the feeling of his cock hardening inside me. He chuckled deep in his throat and said, "Merry Christmas, indeed."


A/N: Hi everyone! I hope you enjoyed my little one shot. :) This is my first FanFic, so please excuse the above being a little rough around the edges. I'm currently working on a full-length FanFic, but have been dealing with a lot of writer's block so I decided to try something on a smaller scale to get me through. I'm hoping to get some reviews so I can know if I'm heading in the right direction, so please feel free to hit the review button. I'd appreciate it! I hope everyone has a Merry Christmas & a Happy New Year!

Elle