Come a little bit closer, so I can see you. No, I won't bite. I realize how scary I must look now in my withered state. And how scared you must be, to be here in this place. Time, life, death, light, and dark, they're all the same here.

I wish I could tell you it gets better, that life out there is better, and in fact at one point for me... it was. It'd probably surprise you to learn that I was a king once. I was a king twice over actually. I had it all, power, money, fame... I went from ruling a band of thieves to taking over the entire world... I gained the ultimate power, saved a princess only to later capture her, and fell in love... but then it all came crashing down on me. I made enemies with the entire world, but to be honest with you the only thing I really cared about losing... was her.

I'm sure you're wondering how I did all this and still ended up... here. Well if you're still curious and have a while to kill, I'll tell you my story.


I've seen a lot of things, but nothing really stands out in my mind so much as the first time I ever saw... her. I still remember the very first time, so many years ago when my guards and I approached the Hyrule castle courtyard.

I came from a people know for being great masters of the deceptive arts, 'thieves' if you must. We were an honorable sort amongst ourselves, and as the sole male born in one hundred years, no one had questioned my immediate ascent to leadership or my title of "king."

We were there on official business and due to the nature of our visit, knew we couldn't cause any trouble this trip. It was hard enough being merely allowed into the castle town. Let alone into the castle.

Unfortunately at that time our people were in much more dire straits than I'd like to admit even now. I had tried to be a fair king, but we needed assistance - or at the very minimum cooperation from the lands of Hyrule to prosper.

The Zoras had threatened to cut off our only easy water supply at lake Hylia lest we threatened to stop our thievery. But we couldn't stop the thievery without a trade route. And we had nothing to trade without water.

Without the king's blessing I faced the inevitability of an upcoming war, and I had hoped to at least appeal to the young ruler, the little Princess Zelda, of our plight. In retrospect everyone always likes to blame me and my quest for power as what ultimately drove my later actions, but they all forget the early days when we tried to use diplomacy.

We had stopped near the training grounds to rest our horses and prepare for the upcoming meeting when my guard took the opportunity to scoff at the soldiers training in the local fighting pits. "Not one of them has half the fighting spirit of a Gerudo," one of them commented as I went to follow.

I would have chewed them out for putting us at risk of an incident, but it was particularly entertaining to watch, I did have to give them that. The Gerudos were trained from an early age to defend ourselves. And, facing a potential war over water, we were particularly on edge as of late. These soldiers looked like they hadn't touched a sword until their teens. All, except for one woman in the back.

"Who is that?" I had asked as I stepped forward to lean on the railing of the rink.

She was a tall woman who had obscured her face by a cloth. It had what appeared to be an ancient Sheikah design on it. She was clashing swords with a much taller soldier.

He had attempted to get the upper hand as he spun around to hit at her back. But she responded by smacking him in the face with the butt of her sword and knocking him immediately to the ground. Only a mere seconds later, and he was out.

She had uncovered her face and tossed her sword to a local stall boy as I approached. She was breathing heavily as she had taken a sip of water. She appeared surprised to meet my eyes.

"Who's that?" she asked as she handed the water pouch back to the stall boy.

"Ganondorf, my lady Impa, the Gerudo king," the stall boy had replied.

She had sighed as something quite distant appeared to cross her face. She stared from me to my guard. Although I was in my full armor today my guard had been in traditional desert garb. They were scantily clad at best, and I could tell she was unimpressed. I should have been hurt when she replied, "Gross."

But instead, I found myself even more intrigued.

"Are you going to do something about her slight of you?" one of my guard had asked as she my arm.

It took me a minute to break my concentration from the sight in front of me to stare back at her. "No," I had replied, "In fact... I think I just fell in love."

"Ganondorf my king, you are crazy," my guard had said as she playfully batted at my arm and went back to tend to the horses, "And that woman will bring you nothing but trouble."

I had laughed, after all she was right. We had a meeting to prepare for, and I most certainly couldn't be seen engaging in any antics with a woman of the court. Especially one who could fight so well... and who wore that mysterious sheikah mark.

Of course even knowing all of this I was about to make my mistakes anyways... and little did I know how much trouble those mistakes would cost not only me, but the entirety of Hyrule...

If only I had known at the time what laid in store for me from that one weird little crush...