As she stripped down to nothing, Johanna had caught a look on Katniss' face. A very specific look that she had seen before. Rarely, but it had happened.
On her way out of the elevator Johanna had briefly taken Katniss' hand in passing and had squeezed it gently. Katniss had faltered, feeling something new siphon through her system. A high with a low. She hadn't known what it had meant and she hadn't been sure she wanted to find out. The elevator episode had been more than awkward for Katniss. But this warm gesture hadn't seemed awkward at all.
That night Katniss had made her way up to the roof of the training center after having spent two hours motionlessly lying in bed with her eyes open wide. Upon having taken her first few steps toward the edge of the building she had noticed a body face up on the ground.
"Come lay here with me," Katniss had heard Johanna's voice. Johanna had said it in a way that denying the request had never even entered Katniss' mind. She had walked over to Johanna and had joined her on the ground.
Katniss and Johanna had spent at some time in silence, just staring at the dim stars blinded by light pollution from the Capital buildings.
"I hear you're a good hunter," Johanna had offered after almost fifteen minutes of nothing.
"People aren't supposed to know about that," Katniss had said with a slight laugh escaping her lips. "It's illegal. The woods, they're outside the district. It's a punishable offense just to be there. More so to be hunting."
"I understand the woods," Johanna had said as if she hadn't even been listening to much of what Katniss had been explaining. "I mean, being in the woods."
"District Seven, lumber," Katniss had said, indicating that she had understood where Johanna was coming from.
"Lumber," Johanna had repeated. "That's not what it is, though. When I'm out there at night, alone. Solitude. Obviously I don't work out in the forest. I don't have to, you know, because I -"
"You won the Games," Katniss had finished for the other girl.
"I wait until everyone is home. Until it's empty." Johanna had said. "I just like it there."
"Same here," Katniss had agreed.
"I'm pretty sure we've got more in common than you would think," Johanna had said with a smirk and hooded eyelids. "More than you would want."
Katniss had turned onto her side. "You don't know what I want, Johanna," she had said as she watched the other girl turn to face her and prop herself up on her elbow.
"What do you want, Katniss?" Johanna had asked, one eyebrow raised. Katniss had blushed violently and quickly reverted to her position facing the stars.
"Do you have a boyfriend?" Katniss had asked, only mildly deflecting from the topic at hand.
Johanna had let out an injured laugh before speaking. "No."
"Have you ever?" Katniss had asked.
"No," Johanna had answered. But her lips had parted slightly, giving the impression that she had considered saying something more. Instead she had promptly closed her mouth and her eyes and had shaken her head at herself. After a few moments she had spoken again. "How's lover boy?"
"You're as blind as the people here," Katniss had said, gesturing toward the skyscraper off in the distance.
"I'm not as stupid as you think I am, Katniss," Johanna had protested. "I watched the Games last year. I know you have feelings for him. Maybe you don't know it, but I could see it. I still can see it."
"You've really never had a boyfriend?" Katniss had asked, moving the conversation away from her spotlight and Johanna's all seeing eyes. She had turned again toward Johanna. At first she had bitten her tongue but her curiosity had taken over her. "A girlfriend?"
Johanna had rolled onto her stomach and buried her face momentarily on her crossed arms. Then she had pushed her body up until she was sitting cross legged, somehow closer to Katniss than she had been before.
"Once," Johanna had admitted fiercely after a moment of uncharacteristically awkward hesitation.
Katniss had sat up and crossed her legs, ending up closer still to Johanna.
"Not anymore?" Katniss had asked. Johanna had shaken her head. "What happened?"
Johanna hadn't answered. Instead she had stood up and walked over to the edge of the roof. She had pulled herself onto the ledge and spun her body so her legs hung over the side of the building, just a foot away from reaching the force field. Katniss had joined her. She had sat so close to Johanna that their hips almost touched, but she had chosen to face the opposite direction, keeping her feet planted firmly on the roof. Johanna had haphazardly laid her arm across Katniss' legs.
Katniss had felt it again. The same fleeting swell that she had experienced when Johanna had taken her hand earlier that night.
"So, girl on fire... What now?" Johanna had said as the two locked gazes.
Katniss hadn't been surprised when Johanna had leaned in to kiss her. She had, however, been surprised by how willing she had been to kiss the girl back. And in that moment Katniss had felt something she'd only felt once before. That feeling in the pit of her stomach that had occurred that one night in the cave with Peeta. But the second she had thought of Peeta was the second she drew back.
"Sorry," Johanna had muttered.
"Didn't think you were one to apologize," Katniss had said.
"I didn't really mean it," Johanna had admitted, causing Katniss' glare to soften.
"I didn't think you did," Katniss had said. After a few seconds of silent thought she had continued. "Peeta." She had thought of Gale as well.
"Yeah," Johanna had said.
Katniss had suddenly thought of President Snow. She had thought about how he probably already knew. And he had. He had been watching the entire interaction on a video feed in his office. "Snow," she had said aloud.
"What about that asshole?" Johanna had spit out, her voice filled with contempt.
Katniss had briefly considered telling Johanna everything. But she had realized she couldn't trust her. "I can't do this," she had said as she stood up. And Johanna had done it again. She had taken Katniss' hand.
"Hey," Johanna had whispered. "Thanks."
"For?" Katniss had inquired, not sure what Johanna could be thanking her for.
"Just... Thanks." Johanna had responded, not quite sure herself. Then her demeanor had changed. "You're already planning on killing me in there, aren't you?"
Katniss hadn't answered, though she had known her answer was "yes." If it meant saving Peeta. She had had the feeling that Johanna already knew.
The next night, during the interviews, the tributes had all taken each other's hands in turn. Forming a united line that couldn't possibly last. Not for as long as Katniss hoped it could. But it was Johanna who had hoping more fervently. Hoping with everything she had. Johanna had looked over at Katniss, the eye contact lasting quite a few seconds longer than either girl had intended.
And in the dark Johanna had taken Katniss' hand one more time.
Back on the twelfth four Katniss had taken Peeta's hand and pulled him to her room. His hand in hers had felt so foreign to her. After Johanna's.
