Disclaimer: All original characters belong to Joanne Rowling; don't sue.
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AN: This story contains some SLASH/LEMONS whatever you like, so if you don't like, don't read. Don't flame about it either, actually, do flame if you really want, 'cos I feel like picking a fight!
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POTTY AND MALFOY SITTING IN A TREE…
Chapter 1: Encounter of the Usual Kind
Harry was out on a limb of the Whomping Willow crocheting a tea-cosy for Dobby. (ha ha, get it? He's out on a limb? Do you like my lameness? I find lameness attractive in a lame way. You can obviously tell that I have no life.) It was to be green with little embroidered grub-roses around the rim, straps to tie up under the chin and earflaps to keep Dobby's giant ears warm in winter. Unfortunately, even though Harry had come up with the idea, he didn't know how to crochet; that's why he had "101 Crochet Patterns for Crochet-phobics" open on his lap.
If he had been smart, he would have asked McGonagall to teach him how to transfigure something into a tea cosy with flaps and straps, but you know Harry, he can be a bit, umm, mentally challenged. *Ehem* *cough* *cough*
"Blast, I've miscounted a stitch. So, it's loop 3, no wait, 4. Aaaaahhhhh! I can't take this anymore! I quit! I'll just BUY him a tea-cosy."
But then he remembered that the tea-cosy must have flaps and straps on it as well. Isn't that right Harry?
"Shut up! I'll just glue some string and cotton-balls on!"
With that, he leapt out of the tree, but not before flinging the book and his crochet needle to the ground with obvious regard for people who were walking under the tree…NOT! Well, by some strange fate, he 'just happened' to hit Malfoy on the head, who also 'just happened' to be passing under the tree at the precise moment.
Doesn't that look a little sus to you? You know what I think? I think that this was all a set-up. Oh well, who cares?
"Hey watch what you're flinging Potter! You could seriously hurt someone you know. Someone pretty like me! It's not like I'm not retarded enough already, without YOU chucking books at my head!"
"Good to hear that you know it Malfoy, but it's not like you're going to be using your remaining two brain cells any time in the near future, so I don't see what the problem is. So if you'll excuse me, I have to wash my hair." Harry snatched the book from Malfoy, whacked him on the head again and walked slowly back to the castle before Draco could react. Yes, that's right, he walked slowly.
Ten minutes later…
"But he just washed it this morning after Quidditch…"
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AN: That's all she wrote folks! Ok, well, if you review, I'll grind out another instalment of POTTY AND MALFOY for your viewing entertainment. But the conditional phrase here is: IF YOU REVIEW…So you'd better review.
