Letters- A (Hopefully) Cute Liesel X Rudy Fanfic
*These kinds of stories are way overdone, but I can understand why. Nobody wanted Rudy to die in The Book Thief. Read it and tell me what you think. Please no flames.
Disclaimer: Sadly but obviously, I am not Markus Zusak, so Rudy and Liesel and 99% of the charries don't belong to me… O.o*
*Some things you should know about me*
1) I am not evil, or good, but just a natural occurrence, like a thunderstorm, or my brother Fate.
2) I do not find joy in the task I perform. I hate collecting souls- seeing the hearts that I've broken, the dreams I've crushed- but it is my job, and I must do it.
3) Contrary to popular belief, I do have a heart. I just don't use it much. Therefore, it is cold from disuse.
4) Liesel Meminger and Rudy Steiner are just the kind of children that can step all over my heart: two people bound closely together through sorrow and friendship.
The Book Thief had been instructed to write a letter for school. Late one night, in the basement where Max had slept, she composed one, though not for her school assignment.
Dear Saukerl,
Every second of the day my soul cries, "Where is Rudy? Where is my best friend?" It's only been a few days, but I feel as if it has been a lifetime. Now my only company at school consists of twitching Tommy Müller and sweet Kristina, his sister, neither of whom can make up for the tight bond which I only now have realized we formed. Without Max and Papa and you, my heart has become an empty well, unable to fill because of the absence of those whom I care for. Your family is well, but they long for the return of their beloved son, just as I do. I do hope the Führer's soldiers are treating you well. How are you? Is the training center at which you stay as bad as Hitler Youth? Have you found any decent souls to befriend, or are they all "Franz Deutscher"s and "Viktor Chemmel"s? Perhaps you will meet a Jew during your training. If you see one with hair like feathers- no, twigs, when it's dirty it looks like twigs- tell him that the Word Shaker sends her love. When you come back, you'll find that running past me like Jesse Owens in soccer won't be so easy. I've now been forced to take your place as team captain in Himmel Street soccer matches, and I'm getting better, faster. If you ever meet Jesse Owens, he could give you a few pointers as to how to beat me. Hurry with your training, our empty souls long for your return.
From your Book Thief,
Liesel Meminger
The days dragged by. Liesel played Himmel Street soccer and studied in school and learned new words, but nothing could fill the emptiness in her heart that she felt in Rudy's absence. When she thieved, she would take nothing but books. Stealing food was a thing of the past, at least until he returned. Except once, when she stole a lemon from Frau Hermann's kitchen because it reminded her of her best friend and his lemony hair.
*Something to Note*
She kept that lemon for months, until eventually it rotted into nothingness and she had no choice but to throw it out. She almost cried when she tossed the last of the lemon in the bins behind her house.
Life was boring without Rudy to keep things interesting. She'd even started losing interest in the novels she was reading. Until one day she stole a new book, one that surprised her.
Dear Saukerl,
The other day I was thieving in the library of the Bürgermeister, and I came across a new book. This one seemed older than most of the other books I've found upon those shelves. Its binding was coming undone and its text was faded, though still legible. Upon the cover- which was a faded blue similar to that of the color of your eyes- were the words Diary of an American Slave, by someone with the initials C.E.M. It turned out to be one of those stories in which you get sucked into and never seem to come out of. I laughed when the main character Elise did, and cried when she did. If it was possible to convince you to enjoy books, I might make you read this one, but since I know you won't, I shall summarize it for you.
Elise Anne Brown is a young American girl living in New York City during the time of the great American Civil War, which was fought over states' rights and freedom of the African-American slaves. She has an African-American best friend named Jacob Christianson, whose family ran away to the North- and to freedom- only three years before. She and Jacob connected over a love of many things; amongst others, their religion, their beliefs (slavery should not exist, all men are created equal, that sort of thing), and their love of learning. Elise gives Jacob private tutoring in her attic to help him get ahead of his education. Jacob dreams of graduating from a good college, and becoming a scientist, and Elise strives after a college degree in teaching literature and grammar to children. Both their papas become enlisted in the army to fight against the Southerners, and while his papa is at war, Jacob's mother grows deathly ill and dies prematurely. Jacob moves in with Elise and her mother and her two brothers.
Elise finds out that her family is at risk of being evicted from her home, and she puts Jacob's tutoring on hold (though he takes no offense whatsoever and practices personally) to tutor other children to help make ends meet. Her papa is killed in battle right beside Jacob's papa, and the two children mourn. The government wants to take Jacob away from the Browns, and find him a new family. In the end, Jacob ends up running away, telling Elise goodbye in a note. She learns only after the war that, while on the run, Jacob came too close to a Southern camp and was captured, taken back into slavery, and died of typhoid fever while imprisoned. She weeps; feeling like her life has been shattered into a million pieces. While sobbing herself to sleep one night, however, the God she has a very close relationship with speaks to her, wipes her tears, and promises that things will be all right. Jacob comes to her in a dream that same night, only this time as an angel in Heaven, saying that she'll be fine. Flash forward into the future, Elise has a wonderful life as a literature and grammar teacher who makes good money, and lives at home with her African-American husband Jim Thomas and her son Jacob Christian Thomas.
The story touched me in a special way, especially the relationship between Elise and Jacob. They reminded me of you and me. Even though Jacob was clearly described as stocky with chocolate skin and dark eyes, I kept picturing him as you throughout the tale, and I wept bitterly when Elise learned of his death. I do hope that this shall not be our end. I miss you, my dearest Saukerl.
From your Book Thief,
Liesel Meminger
*About that Book*
I was there when the author wrote the ending to the story. She completed the novel in such a way in honor of her best friend, who died of an unknown illness a week prior to her sending it in to the publisher's. He had been her biggest supporter, and had been one of those souls who had sat up and extended his arms up to me.
Liesel would spend hours on end wondering where Rudy was now, what he was eating, how he was sleeping, if he was making friends, if he was all right, if he was missing home at the moment, if he was thinking of her at that exact moment, and when he would come home. She would sit by the kitchen window and drown out Mama's cries of, "Dummkopf, get off your lazy Hintern and help me with dinner!" and stare out into the rainy street, missing the sound of Rudy's laugh and the glow in his blue eyes when he'd speak of Jesse Owens or stealing things or food.
Many times during the evening, unknown to Liesel, Rudy would sit alone, away from the Hitler-loving children at the school, and think of his Saumensch, sometimes wondering how she was, and sometimes wishing he was with her, and sometimes wondering what a kiss would taste like from his lovely next-door-neighbor. In truth, Rudy wanted nothing more than to get out of the school, even though it turned out to be not nearly as horrid as he'd expected.
****************************************************************************** The ride to the school was a long and bumpy one. Some soldiers tried to make small talk with their newest recruit, but Rudy only felt like sitting still and staring back the way they'd come, back where his family and friends and Liesel had been left behind. He was wondering if he'd ever see them again, for he was under the assumption that he'd be trapped at this "prison" forever. On the way into the building, he took a liking to scrutinizing the gray floors. Everything around him was bland and colorless, lifeless, completely unlike his beloved Himmel.
*Rudy Steiner*
As idiotisch as he could be sometimes, the boy was much more intelligent- and observant- than he let on.
The Nazi soldier dumped Rudy outside a door, saying, "You'll live here for the next while. Get used to it. Oh, and try not to get a bottom bunk." He walked off, leaving Rudy to plea in vain for a reason for his last statement. Finally, Rudy tucked his head down and opened the door. He entered the room, keeping his head down. There was a tall, Nazi man at the far end of the room at attention. All the children stood in front of neatly lined up bunks, wearing exercise clothes- boys in gray short-sleeved shirts and similarly colored pants, girls in low-cut gray tank tops and tighter pants of a stretchier material.
All was silent as the Nazi came up to Rudy to examine him thoroughly. "Skinny," the man finally said, poking Rudy's ribs. "And small, but there seems to be some muscle on you. What's your name, boy?"
"Rudy Steiner, Herr," Rudy said barely above a whisper.
"How old are you?" the man continued.
"F-fourteen, Herr," he stuttered.
"A nervous wreck, aren't you?"
Nearly inaudibly, Rudy whispered, "Ja, Herr."
The man just laughed. Addressing the other students, he yelled, "Someone get the Dummkopf a place to sleep." Laughter, but no one made any effort to carry out the officer's order. After a long and awkward silence, a soft voice said, "Hier drüben, Herr Güntermann; over here."
"Ja, ja, es gut, es gut," Herr Güntermann said finally. He threw a bag of stuff in Rudy's arms and left the room.
While the other kids started having fun- playing cards, talking with their friends, flirting with girls- Rudy stood uncomfortably by his new bunk bed. Unfortunately for Rudy, he'd received a bottom bunk: the one right next to the door. His thoughts, once again, turned to home. He was whispering the word "Himmel" to himself when someone interrupted his thoughts.
"Ist da jemand? Is someone in there?" He looked the kind person up and down once. It was a girl, and a very pretty- if not dangerous- one at that. She looked about fourteen or fifteen, with long hair the color of Liesel's eyes, and deep blue-green eyes. She was shorter than Rudy, but looked better nourished and probably stronger. She stood, looking the scrawny boy in front of her up and down a couple of times, with a hand on her hip. "You're not very big, are you?" she said mellifluously after a while.
"I'm taller than you," Rudy muttered rather self-consciously.
The girl laughed. "I'm Astrid Hanna. You talk too quietly. What's your name, again?"
"Rudy Steiner," the boy said. "You're one to talk, you're quieter than me."
She grinned. "I like you, Dummkopf though you may be. Come on, I'll show you the only decent parts of this Gefängnis."
*3 Small but Significant Facts about Astrid Hanna*
1. She had no family, though she didn't know it yet.
2. The only things she found interesting were art, music, and words.
3. She was the only decent enough person for Rudy Steiner to befriend at this facility. She would later remind him of Liesel, especially as she told him about the latest story she'd read or the newest song she could play on the piano (many of which Hans Hubermann often played on his accordion).
Dear Saukerl,
I weep even now, as my pen is kissing the paper, when I think of the day's past event. On the way home from school, I encountered Franz Deutscher, and, in an attempt to avoid him, found myself face-to-face with Viktor Chemmel. He took my book- The Whistler- from me and explained that, since you were not there to protect me, he might as well do as he wished. I pleaded for it back, and tried to take it myself when that failed, but the Schwein pushed me down, cursed at me, and threw the book into the Amper River. I tried to find it, but my prized possession was lost. If you were here, we'd be scheming revenge on him for this harsh treatment, but I do not know what to do. Some help would be nice, Saukerl. Hurry up and come home. Your family has had to send Kurt out to find a job outside of your papa's shop. Money is scarce and they are terrified they'll be thrown out of their home and have to live on the streets. Your papa just sent in an application for the army, hoping they'll take him in and he'll be able to bring some money in. Your mama needs you. Your papa needs you. Kurt and Bettina and the others need you. I need you, Rudy. When will you return?
From your Book Thief,
Liesel Meminger
*Two Little Known Facts about Liesel Meminger (That Might Be Rather Obvious to You and I)*
1. Writing these letters to her Saukerl had become a sort of therapy for her, as of late: a way to forget about the bleakness of Himmel Street for a short while.
2. She had relied on Rudy before he'd left a lot more than she let on. Rosa Hubermann would have her suspicions of this, as she would notice that most days Liesel would wake in a rather unpleasant, pessimistic mood.
Christmas was boring alone, Liesel thought. Mama had made little money, so the girl expected no gifts this year. Liesel, however, had a present for Mama. Her school had a Christmas play, and Liesel got the role of an angel. She hadn't mentioned this at all, since she wished to keep it a surprise. During rehearsals, Liesel's teacher, Sister Maria, admitted grudgingly that Liesel had the singing voice of an angel.
Though Mama would never admit it, she got tears in her eyes when she saw her Saumensch standing on stage in her white robes and angel wings, leading the choir in a hymn of Christmas.
Stille Nacht
Heilige Nacht
Allesist ruhig
Alles ist hell
RundeyonJungfrau
Mutter und Kind
HeiligeKind
So zart undmild
Schlafin himmlischer Ruh
Schlafin himmlischer Ruh
*That Steiner Boy*
Rudy would have loved to see Liesel's performance himself. He would have found the role of an angel fitting for his Saumensch.
Dear Saukerl,
Despite the fact that you think I sound like a dying frog when I merely open my mouth, Sister Maria told me I had a beautiful singing voice and gave me the role of the angel in our school's Christmas play. I led the song Stille Nacht. I learned during rehearsals the English call the song Silent Night. Christmas Eve was definitely a silent night. Mama and I ate dinner and went to the play. Afterwards we went home and she gave me my Christmas present: a new book. I do not know what it is about yet, but I shall tell you when you return. The morning after, I played soccer in the streets until suppertime. We invited your family over. Your papa and mama miss you a lot. Bettina sleeps in your bed every night, and even Kurt seems depressed in your absence. I have a Christmas present for you. You should come home so I can give it to you. I'll give you a hint: I had to steal it for you. Hurry home.
From your Book Thief,
Liesel Meminger
Flashing back to Rudy's first few days at training, he fit in nicely. Astrid and he trained together every morning. Put together with the large quantities of food available to him and the intense training he went through daily, Rudy grew out of his youthful boyishness and into a strong young man. Many things set him and Astrid apart from the other initiates. One being that neither really wanted to support their Führer. Another being that they had a higher moral standard than the others.
*The students at that school were filled with heartache*
The word "Home" meant so many different things to those kids. Whenever it was brought up, each boy and girl would cringe at the memories and wish they were there. This should not surprise anyone.
During one particularly rainy day at lunchtime, a guy named Otto said to no one in particular, "I miss home."
Another boy, Christof, mumbled, "Everyone does. I miss my mama's home-cooked meals." With his fork, he shoved the sludge around on his plate, saying, "This stuff here is Kuhdung." The kids all laughed. Viktoria, a friend of Astrid's, complained, "I miss getting enough sleep."
"I miss my family", "I miss having a variety of clothes", and many other "I miss"-es were thrown out onto the table.
"I miss-" Rudy said without thinking. He quickly clamped his mouth shut.
"Miss what, Rudy?" Otto asked.
"Um… I miss my siblings," Rudy tried to cover. "I've got four sisters and a brother. The littlest was Bettina. She used to crawl into my bed and hide under the covers when thunderstorms like these came around." The others didn't question his statement, but during free time Astrid asked him.
"You were going to say something different earlier. What do you really miss from home?"
*On Astrid Hanna*
She was observant. She'd seen that look on Rudy Steiner's face before, usually when he was smiling in his sleep and (unknowingly) talking about his Saumensch in his sleep. She'd secretly suspected it was a girl.
Rudy must have trusted her a lot, to tell her. "Her name is Liesel Meminger, and she is my Saumensch." It took him the whole free time to explain his Liesel. Astrid was a good listener.
"You loved her?" Astrid said into the silence at the end.
"Ja," Rudy said back. "From the moment I met her, in the soccer goal on Himmel Street."
*This Moment*
Liesel Meminger was inspired to start grinning back home, at the exact moment Rudy Steiner spoke those words, and she (of course) had no idea why. In the words of Rosa Hubermann:"Wischen Sie das Lächeln aus demGesicht,Saumensch, und mir helfen,mit dem Abendessen." In English: "Wipe that smile off yourface,Saumensch, and help mewith dinner."
Dear Saukerl,
The snow has begun to melt on Himmel, and I can finally write to you without my fingers trembling incessantly from the cold. I think we're having an early spring in Munich. I saw a flower growing on the walkway to school, the color of your eyes. It brought fresh memories of a Saukerl I know well. Even when his mouth is not smiling, his beautiful azure eyes are. I hope they still glow like that now. Hope all is well with you. Come home soon. We miss you.
From your Book Thief,
Liesel Meminger
Rudy's commanding officer, Herr Güntermann, called all of the best students together one day. "Today, you will be sent out to battle for real." Most got excited at this thought- "Will we be in the front lines?", "I want to kill some of those Brit soldiers…", and the like- but Rudy got a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach. No true German person would blame him. All the Nazi boys thought only of killing; Rudy thought of whom he would be hurting- maybe they had families, friends, who were desperately awaiting their return.
*His Heart*
Rudy was truly had the best and highest morals of the whole school- instructors included- except for maybe Astrid. Those two might have been the only true Germans left in the entire area.
"Nein, nein, I am not sending you straight onto the battlefield," Herr Güntermann assured. "You will be working with the LSE squads."
Rescuing others from bomb attacks turned out to be a harder task than Rudy had expected. Sometimes there would be no survivors, and they'd have to lug body after body out of the ash. There were burns and injuries so terrible that no man should ever have to see, and yet mere children- some no older than ten or eleven- were witnessing right at that moment. Other times, there'd be a single survivor. One time, there was a little girl of about seven, with chocolate brown eyes, who kept repeating the name Kaspar over and over again as if it were her own. She soon found Kaspar- or rather his body- and began screaming. Eventually she passed out of pure exhaustion. Rudy personally felt terrible for her. The girl reminded him of Liesel. Most times, though, the people had fled to bomb shelters, and came out panicking at the sight of their homes burned to ash and their personal belongings incinerated.
Every time, Rudy would think of his family, and Liesel, back home. It never occurred to him that this sort of thing could happen to those he loved.
Dear Saukerl,
I've waited all of spring and all of summer patiently. April has cried her raindrops over Munich, and May has delivered her bouquet of flowers already, and now those flowers are wilting away. June has placed her green leaves on all the trees, and July has dried all of April's tears. August has painted June's leaves red and yellow and orange and brown, and now it's September and you still haven't returned. Do you know you've been gone for almost a year now, away from your family and friends? This I do not doubt. I miss your hair and your eyes and your hands and your laugh and your Dumm jokes and your stupidity. Hurry home.
From your Book Thief,
Liesel Meminger
Liesel's longing for her best friend's return grew stronger each day, and she now found that writing him letters was the most comforting way to deal with his absence. Hans Hubermann had returned a few days before the last letter she wrote. The Steiner family was excited for Han's return, but Liesel also sensed questioning. "Why?" their eyes were screaming silently. "Why does he return and not Rudy?" Liesel wondered the same thing.
One day, she was down in the basement, composing yet another letter to her dear friend.
Dear Saukerl,
My papa has at last returned from the war. While my mama, my papa, your family, and I celebrated his return, we all wonder why you have not come back. We all miss you. I cannot seem to find as much joy in life as I did when I had a partner in crime to make it interesting. Tommy Müller finds no interest in thievery and Kristina is too innocent. I miss you so much. How's life in your compound? Have you made friends; enemies? I hope that everything is well. Hurry home?
From your Book Thief,
Liesel Meminger
She looked up from her writing paper to find Rosa Hubermann standing over her, reading the letter. "You really miss that Saukerl, don't you?"
"Yes, Mama," Liesel said. "He's my best friend, and I haven't seen him in nearly a year. Life is boring without him. Do you think he's coming home soon?"
"I don't know, Saumensch," Mama sighed. "You don't really know when they'll send him home. He could come back tomorrow, or he could die there." Liesel's eyes showed her distress immediately. "I don't mean they'll kill him, Dummkopf. I'm sorry for saying it that way. I understand it's painful to be separated from someone you love." Mama left then. "Hurry up, there's dinner on the table," she called down the steps. "Don't be late, and don't come to the table with your hands all dirty and gross, you Saumensch."
Someone you love. The words echoed in Liesel's ears for what seemed like hours. Of course she loved Rudy, but how far did that love go? Was it a friendly love? Was it a best-friendly love? Was it a brotherly love? Or… maybe… was it a something-more love? Liesel wasn't sure. She was certainly suffering separation anxiety from him, and a severe case of a broken heart. And yes, she would probably tackle him in a huge hug and start crying when he returned. And she was writing him letters, telling him all about what he was missing and how much she was missing him. And yeah, she might be more prone to accept Rudy's pleas for a kiss if he came back. And she would probably lose it if he were to die, or be hurt in battle. But that didn't mean she loved him… did it?
*Something I knew but Liesel didn't*
It did.
"The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen, not touched. But are felt in the heart." -Helen Keller
Dear Saukerl,
Do I love you? I might. I can't tell. I think you did, too, once, but I can't tell, and even if, those feelings for me could be gone by now. I don't really care if you don't love me, but please do not ever forget me. I care too much for you to forget me. I wish you would come home so my life can resume; so my heart can be filled. For this I have discovered: the universe is truly much duller without a best friend like you. Come home soon? I want to be sure about my feelings for you before I tell you.
From your Book Thief,
Liesel Meminger
*Something else that Liesel didn't know, but I did*
She would soon be glad he wasn't there then.
Late in the evening of October 7th, Liesel was jolted awake by nightmares. Unable to fall back asleep and not wanting to disturb her papa, she slunk down to the basement to write her story. Concealed behind the paint cans where a young Jew had once been hidden, she felt snug and began to wrap up her story. As the final revisions were completed and she grew satisfied, Liesel practically passes out from exhaustion in the basement, thinking of a boy with lemony hair.
The same evening, just around the same time, a certain lemony-haired boy was sleeping peacefully, dreaming of a certain book-stealing girl and wondering what a kiss from this girl would taste like. He was smiling in his sleep at the thought of his glorious next-door neighbor and best friend.
That's when the fires of Hölle were rained down upon Himmel. Liesel heard what sounded like the world being ripped apart, and was on her feet in an instant. She rushed towards the basement door but had to change course quickly to evade being hit by flying paint cans. Part of the basement wall collapsed on her, and her leg was now pinned under cement. Pain crawled up her leg, and hot tears stung her eyes, but she didn't make a sound. Just before she blacked out from the pain, her mind registered one final thought: "I'm going to die."
*A third thing Liesel didn't know, but I did*
She would not die in the bombs.
When they finally dug her out of the basement, Liesel's leg was broken, her arms were covered in bruises, her face was scratched up beyond belief, and she was so disoriented she was barely able to form rational sentences. Her mind was elsewhere; her voice rambled on. "We have to get Max out of the basement," she was saying. The LSE men pitied the girl.
"What happened?" Liesel whispered. "Is this Himmel?"
"Ja," the LSE man said sadly, shaking his head. "Sie habenbombardiert worden, mein leiber. You've been bombed, my dear. I'm so sorry."
She found her mama and her papa's corpses. Liesel's whole world was gone now, and she sobbed and sobbed and sobbed until she finally slipped into unconsciousness.
When she woke, she found herself in a truck of some sort. Her mind told her she was being taken to a concentration camp, and she began screaming for Hans Hubermann. "Shhh, shhh, don't scream," a voice murmured. The voice belonged to a man named Luther Johannes. "You're just confused. We're taking you to the hospital. You're safe."
*Three facts about Luther Johannes*
1) He was a father of five children.
2) Liesel Meminger reminded him of his oldest daughter, Agatha.
3) When Agatha would later ask about his work with LSE, he would say little, except tell her about Liesel Meminger, and while doing so, would shed tears for Liesel for the first time since Agatha was born.
Liesel started to cry. She had been robbed of everyone she loved, and she now wished she were dead. She wished the bomb had killed her too. She wished that she'd never been born in the first place. Maybe then all this wouldn't have happened.
While in the hospital, she spent her time staring out the tiny window of her room and dying away inside. She heard one of her nurses telling a doctor that Ilsa Hermann and the Bürgermeister were planning on taking her in. This neither excited the girl nor displeased her. She could only register a kind of sadness no one double her age- or triple, or more- her age should feel.
*A Definition*
Trauer- sorrow: distresscausedbyloss,affliction,disappointment,etc.;grief,sadness,orregret. Synonyms: mourning, grief, misery.
The last day of her stay in the hospital, Liesel finally picked up the pen that had been sitting beside her since day one and wrote. Not a story, but a letter.
Dear Rudy,
A bomb stuck home. The alarms didn't go off until late, and everyone died. They claim that there's a girl who survived, and that she's so lucky, but the girl is not living, not truly. Her soul was taken by Death along with everyone else's, and now she's just a shell, a hollow version of who she used to be. This dead girl who still breathes feels no happiness, or anything but death and pain and sorrow. She rejects words which she used to love with a passion. She now pleads of you to not return, but instead make a new, better life for yourself, far from Germany, and those who killed those you love. The girl who "survived" said that she wished she'd given you that kiss you constantly asked for before all this happened. She loved you so much, Rudy. She wishes she were still there to be with you, but she's gone. She hopes these letters will be delivered to you.
From your Saumensch,
Liesel Meminger
2am; where do I begin,
Crying off my face again.
The silent sound of loneliness
Wants to follow me to bed.
I'm a ghost of a girl that I want to be most.
I'm the shell of a girl that I used to know well.
Dancing slowly in an empty room,
Can the lonely take the place of you?
I sing myself a quiet lullaby.
Let you go and let the lonely in
To take my heart again.
Too afraid to go inside
For the pain of one more loveless night.
But the loneliness will stay with me
And hold me til I fall asleep.
I'm a ghost of a girl that I want to be most.
I'm the shell of a girl that I used to know well.
Dancing slowly in an empty room,
Can the lonely take the place of you?
I sing myself a quiet lullaby.
Let you go and let the lonely in
To take my heart again.
Broken pieces of
A barely breathing story
Where there once was love
Now there's only me and the lonely.
Dancing slowly in an empty room
Can the lonely take the place of you?
I sing myself a quiet lullaby
Let you go and let the lonely in
To take my heart again.
("The Lonely" by Christina Perri)
****************************************************************************** "Rudy Steiner," Herr Güntermann called. "Pack up your things. You're going home." Herr Güntermann had no idea about the bombs. All he knew was that the Steiner boy was to be on the next train to Munich.
"Danke, Herr Güntermann, Danke so much!" Rudy exclaimed, smiling widely. He would be going home; home to Mama and Papa and Kurt and Annemarie and Karin and Emma and Bettina and Tommy Müller… and Liesel. He would see Liesel Meminger, his Saumensch, the Book Thief, his best friend.
*A Depressing Thought*
He wouldn't be excited for much longer.
Rudy had even missed those Dummkopf-sViktor Chemmel and Franz Deutscher. He missed having someone to hate with a passion and scheme revenge against. But he missed Liesel the most. He felt almost guilty for that. He had this feeling like he should miss his family more, and maybe he should, but it was the thought of Liesel that had consumed all his waking (and sleeping) hours each day at that place.
He said goodbye to Astrid and the others while he packed up what few belongings he owned. "I'm really gonna miss y'all," Rudy said. 'But I won't miss anything else,' he thought to himself.
Astrid smiled at him genuinely. "I'm so glad for you. Gut Leben, Rudy. Live well." She gave him a hug. "Enjoy being with your Saumensch." She grinned maniacally and he smiled back.
*About Their Parting Ways*
Astrid and Rudy would never meet again, but later Rudy would name his youngest daughter after his friend. He would remember her well, but he would never learn that she died in a surprise second-wave bombing while rescuing a young child during her LSE duties, only about a week after he left.
"I will," he said. Within the next hour, Rudy found himself staring out the small train window, on the way to a home that didn't exist.
At the snow-covered train platform, Rudy hoped to find his mama and his papa and his siblings and his Saumensch. He couldn't see three feet in front of him with all the snow, and after a long search he couldn't find any of his family or friends. 'Maybe they didn't know I was coming home,' Rudy thought, 'and I'll surprise them when I get there.' He still scanned the train station a few more times before turning to go.
*A Note about this Snow*
It had come as a surprise to the locals, since that day was supposed to be sunny. What they didn't know, but I did, was that the sky was snowing on that particular day for Rudy and Liesel, in honor of all they'd lost.
Liesel had been released from the hospital the same day. This hospital was further from her new home than she'd originally thought, and had to take a train to get back. As she stood on the icy platform, waiting for Ilsa Hermann and the Bürgermeister to pick her up, she saw something-something familiar moving through the snow. A head was bobbing and weaving through the people. This head had hair the color of lemons. She thought, 'Rudy?'
But it couldn't be the boy she'd missed for so long. He wouldn't return if he knew about what had happened to Himmel. Still, her heart dared to hope just a little, and his name slipped through her lips.
Rudy thought he was going crazy when he thought he heard someone whisper his name, "Rudy?" Then again, "Rudy, is that you?"
He turned and saw her. Liesel stood a few feet away, snow covering her clothes. She was taller, and her eyes were darker, but something else seemed to have changed in her; something Rudy couldn't quite yet place. None of it mattered to him, though, and he flew forward and grabbed her by the waist and spun her around and around. "Liesel, Liesel, Saumensch," he repeated again and again. His name became her mantra too, but her voice sounded like she was about to cry. He heard this, and set her down abruptly. Liesel let out a yelp as she landed on her broken ankle.
"Careful, Saukerl," Liesel moaned, "I broke that."
"Are you okay? What happened, Liesel?" Rudy asked. "How'd you manage to do that, you Saumensch? Were you just being ein Tollpatsch?"
"No, Rudy, it's…" the girl began, but then she slid to the icy ground and cried.
"Was falsch ist? What is wrong?" Rudy took her thin, cold fingers in his strong, calloused ones and looked her right in the eyes.
She sobbed for a moment, before finally choking out, "I wasn't being ein Tollpatsch. My basement wall fell on it. Rudy…" She choked on the next words, but knew that they were inevitable. They had to be spoken. "Home is gone."
"What are you talking about, Saumensch?" Rudy didn't understand.
"Home is gone," she repeated. Between sobs, Liesel managed to get out, "October Seventh… Bombs hit Himmel. The alarms didn't go off. Everyone died but me. I was in the basement. That's where the wall collapsed on me."
At first, Rudy didn't believe her. His mama, his papa, his siblings, his friends, everyone… they couldn't just be… gone. They had to be waiting for him in his home on Himmel Street. Then the truth of Liesel's words, and what they implied, hit him like a ton of bricks, and Rudy took off running. Running where, he had no idea. He just knew he couldn't stay put.
He found himself on Himmel, of course, except Himmel wasn't there. In its place was a pile of nothingness. There was literally just ash and snow and nothing else.
*A little-known fact about Rudy Steiner*
That boy had a lot of unseen hurt inside before all this. This was the final straw. Losing all your family is enough to drive a normal person into Trauer, but Rudy Steiner was not a normal person.
Liesel somehow knew she would not find him at what was left of Himmel Street, but, of all places, by the banks of the Amper River, as he was forced to say goodbye to each of his family members.
Rudy had waded into the water and stood, clothes now dripping wet. She could just barely make out a few of his words: "Bettina, Emma, Karin, Annemarie, Kurt, Mama and Papa… Why?" The boy repeated that last words several times: "Why, why, why, why, why, why, why, why?" A single tear slid down Rudy's pale face and landed in the river. Liesel crept forward.
She couldn't formulate words. She could only watch Rudy from her position on the bridge. When she finally could form words, what came out of her mouth was, "You're going to catch cold in there."
He turned and looked up quizzically, as if noticing her for the first time. In words barely audible, Rudy whispered, "Why'd they have to die?"
Liesel climbed up the edge of the bridge and jumped right into the water with Rudy. It stung her skin like crazy, but she stood strongly next to him. Liesel did something then that shocked both Rudy and I, and maybe even Liesel Meminger herself.
*A Picture for You*
A girl and a boy stand waist-deep in a freezing cold river, with the girl's arms tightly embracing the shivering boy and the boy's head buried in the crook of the girl's neck. Their tears fall on each other, and they don't care. Their hearts are full of Trauer, but the girl musters up enough courage to get out, "I don't know. But I'm here for you. Maybe I'm not much, but I'm here."
Rudy's fingers crept up and wiped Liesel's tears off her cheek. He then draped his arms around the girl's small figure. For a second, cerulean eyes met chocolate ones. The boy then lowered his head so his lips were touching her ear.
*Only three words were spoken*
But those three words covered everything that needed to be said. Those three words made my ice-cold heart melt.
"You are enough."
*Some previously stated things about me that I wish to restate*
1) I am not evil, or good, but just a natural occurrence, like a thunderstorm.
2) I do not find joy in the task I perform. I hate collecting souls- seeing the hearts that I've broken, the dreams I've crushed- but it is my job, and I must do it.
3) Contrary to popular belief, I do have a heart. I just don't use it much. Therefore, it is cold from disuse.
4) Liesel Meminger and Rudy Steiner are just the kind of children that can step all over my heart: two people bound closely together through sorrow and friendship.
But enough about me, for I'm sure that you are all eager to find out what's going on with the two children entwined, in the Amper.
It was Rudy who lost his footing and pulled the two of them into the water. Liesel, having learned from only the best, was able to surface easily. After a few seconds, a lemony head popped up a little downstream. Rudy had somehow caught a current and was dragged far down the river. He pulled himself onto the grassy bank, shaking his head to dry his hair.
Rudy spewed water out of his mouth and coughed. "Das war nass," Rudy finally whispered. "That was wet."
Liesel made a sound that was like a combination of griping and scoffing. Her nose was running and her hair and clothes (and everything else of her) was dripping. Altogether she looked rather doleful. "Saukerl!" she snapped, slapping his arm lightly, but the words were quickly replaced by a delicate smile. "You almost got us killed, you Dummkopf."
"Sorry?" Rudy offered, laughing. Eventually, Liesel joined in, and the two lay next to each other, clutching their sides and giggling like crazy.
*Something You Probably Know*
Laughter is the best medicine, and God knows those two needed to laugh now.
In the end, Ilsa Hermann somehow found two waterlogged children lying in the grass at the banks of the Amper River. She didn't want to be the one to separate them, but she finally approached them and laid a gentle hand on the girl's blonde waves. "Liesel, Liebling, we must go home now."
*An Obvious Observation*
"Go home" were the wrong words to use.
"Home?" the two children simultaneously questioned, light in their eyes. Ilsa immediately noted her mistake.
"To my home," she tried to backpedal. "Herr Hermann has prepared a room for you both. We have a hot meal ready for you, and the library is always open, and…"
"Home?" a certain lemony-haired boy said again, this time sounding defeated. "I want to go home."
Ilsa Hermann was a wise woman. She kept her mouth closed now. Liesel caressed her friend's arm with her fingertips, with a touch as gentle as a butterfly's wing brushing against his skin, her chocolate eyes full of concern. "Rudy…" she whispered cautiously, thinking before saying each word. "Frau Hermann is offering us her house to stay in. She has food for us, and a place to sleep. Komm, lass uns gehen. Come, let's go now." She led the boy by the hand like a small child to where Frau Hermann had her black car parked.
Frau Hermann had warm fluffy blankets for them. The two children were wrapped in fabrics and seated in the back of the car. Liesel spotted the little things during the ride. First thing she noticed was that the seats were made of leather, something totally foreign to the girl, who'd grown up in the poorest parts of town.
*A Note on the Side*
She would soon have to get used to not knowing many things that were now available to her.
Another thing she observed was that the mayor's wife drove with extreme caution. This was not just because of the precious cargo she was carrying, but because she was naturally a vigilant driver. She also noticed (with no little amount of gaiety) that Rudy would not let go of her hand the whole drive to the Bürgermeister's. Also, she took note of the look in his eyes while they rode. They were as azure as ever, but they had a fractured look to them, like shattered glass. Like if you were to come near them, they might break into a million more pieces. They also had a blank element to them, like there was something missing. Of course there was. He'd just learned he'd lost everything but her. This look broke Liesel's heart, and she gently shook the hand she was holding.
The boy hesitated a second before finally tearing his gaze from whatever fantasy thing he was studying to look into Liesel's chocolate eyes. No words were spoken, but they exchanged a look of understanding and Liesel gave his cold fingers a reassuring squeeze.
Liesel was not the only one who saw Rudy like glass. The Bürgermeister also thought he looked broken. Though the boy had muscles rippling down his arms, and he had gained a deep tan over the summer, and he was healthier than he'd ever been in his whole life, Rudy Steiner had the look of an emaciated, sickly, lost puppy.
"Ah, welcome home, Ilsa, Liesel, and…" The Bürgermeister had not been informed of Rudy Steiner's return.
"Guten Tag, Herr Hermann," Rudy greeted, extending a cold hand forward. The Bürgermeister shook it with a firm grasp. "I'm Rudy Steiner. I know you weren't expecting me."
"His family was on Himmel, Heinz," Frau Hermann stated flatly. "He was off at war, and needs a place to stay. Is it all right if he stays for a while?"
"But… the expenses of buying food for not three but four hungry mouths, not to mention new clothes, school textbooks, furnishings for a bedroom for him as well as the girl…" but he saw the look in his wife's eyes that said that he had to take the boy in as well. While he had been ranting he hadn't noticed, but now the mayor saw little Liesel clutching Rudy's arm like she was glued to it, and with her already beat-up look from just getting out of the hospital, she too had a lost puppy look to her. Herr Hermann sighed exasperatedly. "Fine, I suppose we can find a way to accommodate both children." Liesel gave the man a half-smile, and mouthed "Danke". His reply was a nod.
"Come, we must show you two to your… room. There will be clothes for you, Liesel, but unfortunately, we will have to find something for you to wear some other time, Herr Steiner." The mayor led them up the stairs.
*The Hermanns' conversation while waiting for Liesel and Rudy to come downstairs*
"You know, Ilsa, that boy would fit nicely in HIS clothes."
"Do you honestly think he'd be alright with that? Do you think the boy would know about Johannes?"
"I doubt it. According to you, only the girl knows of him."
"Ja, but what if she told him about…"
"I do not think so, Ilsa. Besides, Johannes would want him to have them. It's not like he'll be using them."
Silence, and then, finally, "Ja, ja, es gut, es gut."
The bedroom that the two children were to stay in was relatively small: one wardrobe, one desk, one small closet, one window with one small couch by it, one full-length mirror, one door leading off into a bathroom, and one bed. Rudy instantly made himself a silent promise that Liesel would get the bed. The girl looked in the closet and wardrobe, both of which had a few clothes and other personal belongings for the girl. In the bathroom there were only the basic feminine necessities. On the desk there sat Liesel's new schoolbooks. She sat down on the edge of the bed and skimmed through the books. Amongst the books were textbooks labeled Introductory German History and Arithmetic and Geometry for Students. None of the titles interested her in the least bit, except for the literature. Though they might not be as thrilling as stories from the Bürgermeister's library like The Whistler, there could be something good in there.
*A Thought to Cling Onto for the Future*
Liesel would grow to love this class when she started, and would eventually offer tutoring in this subject.
Rudy had literally done nothing since he'd arrived but sit there on the chair by the desk and stare out the window with raw eyes. When his Saumensch returned from her shower wearing her wet hair down, and a pale blue long-sleeved shirt and faded jeans, he turned slowly to face her. She and he exchanged a look that said so many things all at once.
"Rudy Steiner!" the Bürgermeister was calling up the stairs. This tore his concentration from Liesel's gorgeous face to the mayor. "We found some clothing for you! Liesel, Liebling, dinner's on the table, come on down."
The two children eyed each other again. Liesel's eyes asked Rudy's, "Ready?" "No," his replied. "Go with me?" they asked silently. He offered his hand to her. This lifted Liesel's spirits a bit and she entwined her fingers in his. Liesel smelled like a springtime flower (courtesy of Frau Hermann's fancy shower soap). The two walked down the stairs with their fingers laced together like that.
A small oaken trunk sat at the bottom of the stairs, with the name Johannes Hermann written in gold on the top of it. "Für Sie," the Bürgermeister said, "for you, Herr Steiner." Rudy moved as if he were stuck in molasses towards the chest, but finally reached it, opened it, and found that it was filled with clothes, pictures, and books. Rudy dug through a bit, and pulled out an army jacket. Ilsa Hermann winced as if the very sight of the jacket hurt her.
"Is this yours?" Rudy asked timidly, passing the jacket to her.
"Nein, Nein, Herr Steiner, if you like it, it can be yours," Ilsa said, her face now devoid of emotion. Rudy took a handful of clothing and went upstairs to shower. Liesel skimmed the contents of the chest in its entirety.
Halfway through, the young Book Thief pulled out a stack of faded, folded papers, tied together with a piece of string. She pulled out one and skimmed the contents. It was a letter, addressed to Johannes in a feminine handwriting, and signed Mama. Liesel handed them to Ilsa. "Did he ever write back?" Liesel asked innocently.
Frau Hermann waited a moment before replying with a sigh, "I never sent them. I was going to- I should have- but I didn't get a chance to. They were just a way to feel close to him without being with him."
Liesel thought of the letters she'd written to Rudy while he was away at war. They had been with her when the bombs had hit, so they were mostly intact- a few car marks, but overall in good condition. She considered giving them to him before deciding against it, at least at the moment.
Rudy returned a few minutes later, wearing ratty jeans, a white t-shirt, and Johannes's army jacket. His eyes were red and had a distant look to them.
*Why, This Time*
He was thinking of how his papa would have been proud to see him wearing that jacket. This, of course, led to thinking of the others; Bettina would have wanted to keep trying it on. Kurt would have mussed up his hair and teased him. His mama would have smiled and held him at arm's length to examine him.
Dinner was quiet, and afterwards the mayor went off to do work and Ilsa retired early. Liesel and Rudy went up to their room, lugging Johannes's trunk after them. Rudy unloaded the stuff into the empty bottom drawers of the wardrobe and then they both changed into sleepwear. Liesel donned a pale pink nightgown (which was a little too frilly- and pink- for her taste), but she stopped, frozen in her tracks, when Rudy came out of the bathroom with his hair dripping wet, wearing soft pants and no shirt. Over their time of separation Rudy had grown taller, gained some weight, and developed solid muscles. The girl stood almost mesmerized for a second, before he snapped her out of it by saying, "Do you know where the spare room is? The Bürgermeister told me there were blankets in there. I need them for sleeping on the couch." Liesel complained about his sleeping situation, but finally gave in and showed him.
It was about midnight when Liesel woke up screaming for her papa to run. Her hands and legs were tangled in the bed sheets. She had been clutching a pillow so tightly that her nails had ripped a hole in the silky pillowcase.
"Oh, Liesel," Rudy's voice came from right next to her. He was sitting in the bed now, his arms encircling her in a comforting hug. "I'm so sorry." Liesel rested her face in the crook of his shoulder and sobbed. The boy lightly stroked her hair out of her face and brushed a tear off her cheek with his thumb. "Es tut mir leid," he said again. "I'm so, so sorry, Saumensch." His hair smelled- appropriately- like lemons, as Liesel had often thought it should.
"I- I'm so… so sorry I woke you…" she sniveled into his shirt.
"It's not a problem," Rudy said quietly into her ear.
*The Truth*
Rudy had already been awake, for he too had been awakened by nightmares of bombs and dying family members. The boy had been staring out the window for the past hour or so, wondering why he had lived and they perished, as he had done multiple times since his return home what seemed like forever ago.
"Tell me?" he asked very simply, and Liesel spilled not only the whole dream, but everything that had actually happened on Himmel. The boy was a good listener (something he had learned from Astrid). He sat patiently, holding Liesel in his arms gently. By the time she was done, her nose was running, her eyes were red, and her cheeks were pink and wet from crying. Rudy was too silent.
A long pause and then, "I should have been there."
"Nein, nein, nein, nein, nein, nein, nein, nein," Liesel said rapidly, over and over and over, sobbing harder now. After Rudy soothed her enough, she choked out, "You would have died too, and I can't lose you too."
"But… I've lost everyone but you, Liesel," Rudy whispered softly into her ear. "I can't live here forever, and you know that. I'll have to get adopted, or go off to an orphanage sooner or later, and then I'll be taken away from the only person I have left in my life." Silence, and then he repeated, "I should have been there."
Liesel couldn't take it anymore. She jerked out of the arms of her Saukerl and snatched the handful of letters she'd written for him out of the desk drawer. "For you," she said and gave him the stack. She settled down, with her head in his lap, while the boy thoroughly read the letters by the light of the moon. In the end, Liesel fell asleep in his lap, while he stayed up late into the evening and some into the early hours of the morning reading each and every letter. In all, there was a total of twenty-two letters addressed "Dear Saukerl…" [Though I didn't include them all, because that'd take soooooo much time XD] Sometimes he would read one over a few times. The boy found each one better than the last. One that particularly caught his eye (that Liesel had forgotten she'd written) was this:
Dear Saukerl,
Do I love you? I might. I can't tell. I think you did, too, once, but I can't tell, and even if, those feelings for me could be gone by now. I don't really care if you don't love me, but please do not ever forget me. I care too much for you to forget me. I wish you would come home so my life can resume; so my heart can be filled. For this I have discovered: the universe is truly much duller without a best friend like you. Come home soon? I want to be sure about my feelings for you before I tell you.
From your Book Thief,
Liesel Meminger
Rudy sat there for almost an hour, staring at this letter. Did she really love him? He definitely loved her. This was painfully obvious. He wanted to wake her up immediately and tell her so, but Liesel looked like she was sleeping peacefully, and Rudy know this was a rare gift for someone who'd been through such a crisis as she had, so he let the girl sleep on his lap.
At almost 4 in the morning, Rudy stumbled across a letter, near to the end, reading:
Dear Saukerl,
When Viktor Chemmel threw my book into the Amper, I was devastated, as I have previously stressed. But later on, I thought of what would have happened if you had been there. I realized that you would have dived right into the river to rescue the novel. You might have stood there triumphantly for a moment, holding the book in your hands, and then would have climbed out, onto the bank. One thing I'm positive you would have done is that you would have asked for a kiss. I would have laughed at you and called you Saukerl, as usual. Do you remember the last time you asked for a kiss? I wish I would have given you one before you'd left. I wish you would ask me for one again. Often I dream that I'm sleeping in my bed, and then woken up by a sound next to me, and find that you're standing there. You'd embrace me, and then whisper teasingly in my ear, "How about a kiss, Saumensch?" I wake missing you. I wish you would return and do that. I swear, if you do, I'll give you that kiss.
From your Book Thief,
Liesel Meminger
The boy fell asleep after finishing the letters, accidentally falling over on top of Liesel. The sleeping girl inadvertently reached out, seeking comfort from the inevitable nightmares, and found Rudy's fingers. She grabbed on as if they were her lifeline, and didn't let go. Rudy's arm was draped over Liesel's body. This was how Hermanns would find them the next morning.
******************************************************************************
*Nearly Two Months Later*
The two kids came from two separate houses. A beautiful young woman with dangerous eyes emerged from the Bürgermeister's, carrying a book. The other- a tall boy with hair the color of lemons- came from a richer home on a street called Roman (German for "novel") Street. They met up, and sat at the banks of the Amper River. A conversation sparked up.
"Liesel," the boy said, "when I read your letters, I found some things…" Unsure of how to say what he needed to, the boy pulled several faded papers out of his army jacket pocket and handed them to the dark-eyed girl. She read the words he pointed out to her, and he looked at her through pale blue eye questioningly.
"Ich vermisstedich so sehr, Saukerl," she said; "I missed you so much, Saukerl. You know you're my best friend, and I couldn't live without you. Especially after my mama and papa died, I needed someone, and you were the only someone I had left that I trusted whole-heartedly." Her fingers crawled across her dress and over to his hand. They linked, and he smiled at her.
"Do you really miss me asking for a kiss?" he asked tenderly.
Chocolate eyes fell to the ground, and she pressed her lips together tightly. She remained silent for so long, and then finally said, "Yes," and her cheeks turned pink. A timorous smile slid onto her lips, and his eyes locked on hers.
*Let Me Paint You a Picture*
A lemon-haired boy leaned into her ear, and, almost inaudibly, whispered, "How about a kiss, Saumensch?"
And on the banks of the Amper River, behind an orange, purple, and pink sky, and with the setting sun reflecting on the surface of the water, the dark-eyed Book Thief whispered back, "Ja, nur für dich, mein liebster, Saukerl. Yes, only for you, my dearest Saukerl."
And their lips gently touched. Rudy's tasted like lemons, quite appropriately. Liesel's tasted like the peppermint she'd just finished sucking on, and like something else, something familiar that Rudy wasn't able to place.
Of course, it would not be the last they would ever share, but it would be the most memorable of all the kisses they would share. And trust me, there would be MANY more.
The second was much more passionate, but not dirty. No, these children were too young, too pure, and too hurt inside to be thinking of anything like that. No, instead they were entangled in each other's arms, supporting the other as their lips crashed together again and again.
When they were both out of breath, they pulled apart, and Rudy began laughing. Liesel laughed with him, though she didn't know the reason. "Why…?" she tried to say, but was too busy giggling to finish the question.
After he finished his laugh, Rudy replied, "Because I've always dreamed of that."
"What were those dreams like?" Liesel asked curiously. "Did you enjoy them?"
"Yes, of course, I loved them. I'd always thought your lips would taste like Frau Diller's mixed candies, and maybe a bit like that pea soup your mama always made. I somehow knew that you'd kiss me after I asked that infamous question; that you'd bend eventually and give in to my pleas. Guess I was right after all." He thought about it for a minute, and then asked, "Did you enjoy it? Or was that just the worst first-kiss ever?"
"It was okay," Liesel said, the corners of her mouth tugging into a smile. It was better than just "okay". Liesel had needed that more than Rudy Steiner knew. "But…" She trailed off.
"But what?" he inquired, though he knew what she would say.
"Oh, nothing," the Book Thief mused aloud. "It's just that I heard somewhere that practice makes perfect."
"Oh really?" the Steiner boy said, feigning disinterest. "If that's so, then…" He leaned in again, and, just before their lips touched, he whispered, "How about a kiss, Saumensch?"
*What Happened*
Liesel Meminger granted Rudy Steiner's request, and whoever first said, "Practice makes perfect," was proved right, once again.
Das Ende (und der Anfang)
The End (and the Beginning)
